It was a Saturday night, the rain was pouring so hard you couldn’t see past your nose. The only visible sights on the street were passing cars, street lamps, along with the faint flicker and glow from the Black Dog’s sign. 

I entered the bar, and hung my jacket on the rack. Walking on the dark oak floor, I weaved in between the small tables and sat on a stool at the bar. The bartender, a darker skinned woman with short hair, placed a mug full of beer in front of me. 

“Thanks Marla.” I said with a smile, which she returned.

“Of course Nick.” I took a long sip from the beer, and sighed.

Looking around, there weren’t that many people here, which did make me a bit sad. The Black Dog may not have been the best looking bar, but you couldn’t beat the service. Or the food. I came here a lot. Maybe more than I should, but I had a good reason. You see I’m a writer, or at least I’m trying to be. I’m still unpublished and very much broke, I’ve churned out manuscript after manuscript but nothing’s stuck. I didn’t know if it was because of my ideas, the style, or the dying interest in reading.

Another reason I was here was more common, I think. I’d been cheated on by the woman who I had thought was the love of my life. Lily Draper. I’d met her my senior year of highschool. We clicked instantly, then she ghosted me. Cut to six months later, I got a message on Facebook from her. It was this long, heartfelt apology, and like the naive lovestruck kid I was, I accepted. We shortly began dating after that. We said I love you within a month, we did other stuff very shortly after. Everything was great. She wound up going to the same college I did. I was studying to be a teacher, and she was learning about the music industry. We had fights, she hurt me, and I hurt her. But at the end of it, we still loved each other through it all. Or so I thought. After I graduated, and was working, she was still in school. So was her best friend, Ed Stone. They spent time “studying” and she kept pulling away from me. One night, I decided that I’d surprise her by taking her out to a fancy dinner. I set everything up, came home in a nice suit, and with a new dress that she’d seen and loved. As cliche as it was, when I went into the bedroom, I saw them. I threw up. She was mortified. She was mortified. God, Lils was a piece of work. I threw up again. Then I punched Ed, broke his nose, and walked out, ignoring her sobbing and telling me it wasn’t what it looked like. I slammed the door behind me, and wound up here for the first time, three years ago. I loved that girl, with all my heart. Then she broke all that off for someone else. I still got calls from Lily. I blocked her every time. She found out where I was living, and tried to talk to me. She didn’t actually care. She was just trying to sate her guilt. So that she wasn’t the bad person in this story. 

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“Nick?” A voice that was etched firmly in my mind called out. I squeezed the mug’s handle so tight my knuckles turned white. I didn’t need to turn to know who was there. It was her. Her hand rested on my shoulder, and my stomach turned. It was her. I blinked, and turned my head. She’d cut her amber hair into a bob that suited her face. Her brown eyes stared into mine, like they had countless times before. I stood up and brushed her hand off my shoulder. I grabbed my coat, and she grabbed my hand. I still remembered the first time her hands grabbed mine. And it twisted the knife in my gut further.

“Nick, wait.”

“For what Lily?” I said, whipping around and my grey eyes pierced hers. She tensed. I didn’t care.

“What am I waiting for? For another half-assed apology? A story about how you were drunk? Or how he seduced you? I don’t care.” I said, and she winced. 

“Nick-” Oh no, she wanted to talk to me? She gets to hear me talk.

“No. You don’t get to call me. You don’t get to tell me that you care about me. You don’t get to show up at the one place where I find an ounce of damned peace, and poison it for me.” She started to cry. The knife turned again, and I felt my eyes get hot. “You made the biggest mistake you could. You took me for granted. You told yourself that you could treat me however you wanted, and that I would stay with you, because of how much I love you. How much I loved you. I would have given you the world Lils, you knew that. You burned us down. And when things burnt down between you and him, you tried crawling back to me. But you don’t get to keep showing up in my life, when I’m trying to fucking move on.” I forced my hand free and stormed out of the bar, my tears mixing with the falling rain. She tried calling after me, but I ignored it like I had all those years ago.