At the end, one cant help but look back on one’s life, and like always my thoughts always turned to her i love her with all heart she was with me every step of the way be it in pain, sickness and hate. She was always there we may not have a fairy tale love nor an accepted one but we loved with our heart and soul, if i could do it again i wouldnt change a thing not even the bad parts because while they might have tested our love they also strengthen them.

I remember our first meeting, i was 15 so was she, it was during physical education our class was joining another and there she was in the afternoon sun like a halo, to the 15 year old me i thought she was angel, i didnt know it at the time but she thought i was weird but kinda cute staring at her, which i find an accurate statement of 15 year old me. 

Looking back at the time now i cant help cringe, i was stuttering when ever she talked to me and i made the world’s best impression of a tomato when she even looked at me but i guess it was luck that i was that awkward as later she told she found it cute.

I didnt truly get to know her until i realised that i had a crush on her, when i realised that i decided to chase her but i ran into an issue im sure non of my peers had, was she even interested in my type, so i decided i should get to know her aas a person first i became her friend, that change my crush in like so on her birthday i brought her to the beach and kissed her under the moonlight, she became my girlfriend.

The fairytales did lie, we were happy i loved it so did she it was the world it seem to deny us at every turn, i couldnt hold her hand, kiss her or even hug out of fear for her safety, but that was expected what really hurt the most was the disapprove from the ones we thought approve the most maybe we were naive believing fairytales in a broken world, while didnt care much my heart broke when ever she's did i wanted to block her from the pain but i know she wouldnt want that she was her own person fierce, loving and beautiful non of those words cant even come close to how i see her but no matter what i love her.

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In a weird twist of fate the world became more open, our love was accepted we got friends, some family and our found family together, we created the dream we never thought we could but talked about endlessly, as i looked into her eyes i knew wouldnt have it anyother way that day when i called her my wife the world recognized it as well, it made the years fighting for the right worth it. 

When her mom died, it was the first and last time she acknowledged our relationship without malaise, she cried the whole time she sob to me asking why only in her mom’s death did she acknowledged us why couldnt she do it earlier when they still had time. I knew why but i couldnt tell my love why it was folly of men pride. It was after this, we tried reaching out to our family to mend these broken connection it took alot of work from both ends, but it was worth it life was better when the ones who raised us where there.

Life started to pass us by, we wanted kids but marriage was the best the world could do for us, while the greater world got less broken it was still broken, hate still existed it was just hiding in this world hate is no longer accepted, thats why i didnt expect it, didnt understand why or want to believe people i knew would do ths, at the end on a cross blood dripping down. i think of her, her smile, her laugh, her cry, her love, would she be safe from them and what it would have been like to grow old with her.

At the end i think of her, i loved her from the first time i laid eyes on her and i loved her at the end. I hope when im gone she will find love again it hurts my heart thinking about it but my heart breaks at the thought of her being alone in grief. In the end i think of her.