The following months came and went as we continued on with our lives. Ivy and I hung out every once in a while along the way but nothing by ourselves or anything too serious. I’ve gotten to know her a lot better though. She’s super into poker, she loves drawing, and the obvious one—She loves reading. The thing is I have a series of unpublished books of my own that I thought were too bad to actually get published by a publisher. Everyone told me to try and do it but I always brought myself down, telling myself it wasn’t on the level of other authors or even close to the work of a beginner. Maybe that was my way of avoiding rejection.

Maybe that was my way of trying to make peace with my own shortcomings.

Anyways…

Ivy and I talked over the phone a lot, due to our shared interest in video games. I’ve never really had anyone to talk to about the games I play since Alexis and I play different genres. Ivy shared my interest in story games, games with a complex and/or interesting plot or at least one that makes sense. I wanted to ask her to come over and play some games here but that just seemed like I was crossing a line.

BUT—

I finally got her to come to the D&D meeting with Alexis, Theo, and I. Needless to say, she called me a dork before actually trying it. I encouraged her to try it and she did much to my surprise. She built an elf with an affinity for ice magic. Much like her—cold. She took an interest in it when she learned about the story aspect—a campaign we’ve been playing for the better part of a year.

I got to hang out with Leo and Kendall too, even going over to her gigantic mansion once. Her butler and maids were waiting hand and knee for anything she may have needed but she treated them like they were actual people. I thought she would’ve been crude to them, downright cruel but she was a caring girl. Her heart was bigger than what she cared to admit. Maybe that’s why Leo has such a big crush on her.

Oh, come on. You knew that already. Don’t play dumb.

The bell echoed through my ears as I groggily lifted my head.

“Stand up,” Ivy motioned for me to stand as the anthem played over the speakers overhead.

My mind was blank. Focused on sitting back down and going back to sleep since I stayed up all night playing the new game that had just come out the week before.

Everyone sat down as the principal went on with his announcements. Usually, we all blocked out the announcements—

“Oh, class. You do remember about the raffle, right?” Mrs Swiler slammed her hand on the desk.

Every student in attendance lifted their head up to the intercom that was hanging in the corner, their ears perked in anticipation.

“And now for the class trip winner—”

A short drumroll ensued in an attempt to build suspense.

“GET ON WITH IT!” A female student yelled, others beginning to join her behind me. Ivy was too engrossed in her book to even care about it.

“MRS SWILER—”

The class erupted into screaming. Everyone jumped up and down in excitement while other classes’ groans could be heard in the hallway. Mrs Swiler and Ivy both had small smiles on their faces, hiding their faces from view.

I looked over at Ivy who didn’t put down her book once as the chaos swirled around her. She was a master at ignoring everything and everyone to the point where it was scary. I lunged my finger at her ribcage. She jumped in her seat and her head swiveled toward me, an evil glint in her eye.

“You’re dead,” she reached down into her backpack and pulled out her pencil case. She opened the lid and grabbed a sharpened pencil. I looked at the pencil and then back at her, my eyes wide.

“I’M SORRY—” I yelled just before Mrs Swiler cracked her ruler against the blackboard. It was so rowdy and rambunctious that we didn’t even notice the announcements were over.

“We still have classes, don’t we?” A vein in her forehead twitched as she smiled brightly.

Too bright for my liking.

Everyone had finally settled down and paid attention for the remainder of class, the excitement palpable in the air. Mrs Swiler didn’t seem to mind as the students enthusiastically answered her questions.

Then the bell rang, dismissing us from hell to the next.

“Yo, Ivy,” I reached over and poked her shoulder.

“What, Wyatt?” She replied, her voice monotone—like she was annoyed.

“Woah, what crawled in your pants and died?” I quipped, raising an eyebrow. My voice was light, but there was a slight edge to it, like I was half-joking and half-deflecting whatever her tone had sparked in me.

She sighed before handing me an envelope.

“Do I open this—”

"Yes," she said sharply, her jaw tightening as if she could barely contain her irritation.

I quickly scrambled to open the envelope that was sealed by a crimson heart.

A weird gesture.

“Dear, Astrid,”

Already a bad sign.

If this has found you well then let my feelings be known. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on and that’s in a school filled with beautiful women. You’re in a different league compared to anyone in this school. Meet me at the math hallway entrance at 11:45AM today and let’s go from there.

Sincerely,

Your Secret Admirer

“First of all, how can someone be so…” I paused, searching for the right word.

“Uncreative?” Ivy replied.

I snapped my fingers together and pointed at her, “That’s exactly it.”

“I have no idea. I don’t think I’m going to meet him,” she interlocked her hands and hit her thumbs together.

“Then don’t. I’m sure he’ll understand that you don’t feel the same way,” I tried to comfort her.

“It never works that way. They always stalk me around the school until I have to get a teacher involved,” she fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

I hesitated, not wanting to say something that sounded strange in a time like this.

“Is there anything I can do?” I blurted out.

“That’s sweet of you but no there isn't. I’m sorry,” Her tone was the most heartfelt I’d ever heard—or at least, the most honest she’d ever been with me. Just that one sentence was enough to send a flurry of butterflies loose in my stomach.

“Are you good?” She bent over in front of me and waved in my face.

“I’m fine,” I backed away from her.

“Okay—” she said, her tone implying she knew something was up, but she didn’t press the issue.

“Who even calls you Astrid anymore?” I chuckled to myself.

“Oh my god, that’s EXACTLY what I was thinking,” she laughed, walking in sync with me to our next class.

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

The next day rolled by but something was different. The air felt heavy. A wave of concern washed over me but I don’t know why. It was still dark outside, the stars blanketing the sky.

DING

My phone vibrated against the table. I grabbed it and unlocked it. Ivy has sent me a message.

“Turns out lover boy got my number from a friend of mine,” the text read.

“What? Didn’t you tell them not to?” I pressed the send icon.

“Yeah, I guess they thought he’d be a good match,” she replied in an instant.

“I’m sorry but I’m not too sure what you want me to do,” I hesitated before pressing the airplane icon once again.

“Nothing. I just felt like telling you,” she returned.

“Ok… Well, good night,” I turned off my phone after sending the message and laid my head down on the pillow.

Today was the day of the class trip. The trip was to a resort 13 hours from here, a fancy 5 star resort called The Great Seascape Hotel.

I hear the walls are basically aquariums with little fish swimming around.

We were required to fill out permission slips which I got my grandma to fill out since she’s now my legal guardian. I don’t entirely understand the point of this and why we were the class to be chosen. Was it luck or was it fate? Was it a way for me to get closer to Ivy? Who knows? Maybe I’m just thinking too much about it and I should just finally let my guard down and have fun.

Ivy was asleep against the window when I sat down next to her, the leather wrinkling underneath me. I was going to wake her up but she looked so peaceful.

As much as she keeps hidden away from me, I know that she’s struggling. She’s strong and yet she relies on no one but herself. Hopefully one day, she’ll tell me about herself just as I have done for these past few months. I didn’t do that just so I could tell her she has to do it since I did.

I’m not that type of person.

I know she needs time. Time to trust me and time to open up. Time to confront her problems on her own and in her own way. I just wish there was something I could do for her.

We got to the school and swiftly left the bus. We stretched our legs outside on the sidewalk before walking inside. Conveniently enough, our lockers were relatively close to each other so more often than not we got caught looking at one another, exchanging small waves before going back to whatever it was that we were doing.

I glanced over at her. I saw the color drain from her face as a note fell onto the ground from her hands.

I jogged over to her and put my hand on her shoulder. She was tense, as if she was scared.

I picked up the note and read it to myself.

“Dear, Astrid,

I see you made your choice. Is it me? Is it because I’m not handsome enough? Because dear Wyatt is so much better? You two belong together, you disgusting piece of shit,” the note ended with that vulgar statement. She looked at my hand on her shoulder and back to me.

“Oh!” I took my hand off of her shoulder, “Sorry, Ivy,” she stared at me with a dark expression.

She closed her locker and walked to our homeroom. The tension in the air was thick, thick enough to cut with a knife. I wish I could understand what was going through her head but there wasn’t anything I could do right now. I walked back over to my locker and grabbed the supplies I needed for the rest of the day—Ivy still on my mind.

Will she be okay?

Homeroom went by in silence as Ivy never glanced at me. Not even a single word uttered to me. Her eyes weren’t focused, she was somewhere else entirely. Her hands wouldn’t stop fidgeting no matter what she did. I watched her with a mix of confusion and concern. I’ve seen her fidget before but not like this. I wanted to talk to her but the air surrounding me has thickened, making it impossible for me to bridge the gap between us—no matter how badly I wanted to. She looked like she was trying her hardest to hold herself together but ultimately she was unraveling.

The bell rang, signaling the end of class. I gathered my things slowly, my thoughts tangled in the words on the note from earlier. It kept playing over and over in my head. It wasn’t just the insults that stung; it was the idea of someone else thinking they knew something about her. They were assuming things about us that weren't even true.

Ivy stood next to me, her hand curled around the strap of her bag, her eyes scanning the hallway, not meeting mine. I noticed the way she avoided making eye contact with anyone. She was always like this after something happened—always quiet, always withdrawing into herself.

“We’d better get going,” I say, trying to break the silence. But she didn’t respond. Instead, she stared at the ground with a contemplating look across her face.

I glanced over at her. Her face was hardened, like she was hiding herself from the world. She was fighting a battle within herself—but she was losing. You could see the defeat from the way her shoulders were tensed—the way her fingers clutched the strap of her bag.

“Ivy, are you okay?” I asked softly, stepping closer.

She nodded but there was a hollowness in her expression, like she wasn’t trying to convince me but trying to convince herself of something.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just… tired,” She muttered, with a hint of actual tiredness behind the sad, low sentence.

It was an obvious lie. Something about the way she muttered those words, the way she could barely get the words. The way her voice caught. There was more to her words but I wasn’t sure if she would tell me—I thought we were friends but it hasn’t been that long since she once refuted that statement in front of my grandma. Regardless,

“Are you sure?” My voice gentle, careful even, “You know you can talk to me, right?”

She stiffened, almost imperceptibly, before her gaze flickered to me and back to the ground,

“I just… I don’t know how to deal with it.” Her voice was soft, almost missing my ears completely.

“Deal with what?” I asked, more confused than before.

She was fighting again. The words in her throat didn’t want to come out but she wanted them to, “Guys. Attention. I don’t know what to do with it.”

I raised my eyebrows, unsure of where this was coming from, “You mean the note?” The thought made its way to my mouth.

“Yes, and no. It’s stupid,” her lips were in a pressed line.

“You can tell me,” I wanted her to tell me but I didn’t want her to feel obligated.

“It’s always been like this. Ever since I was younger, people always thought I was beautiful. It’s fun and all until you realize no one likes you for you. You’re nothing more than a pretty face to them,” she met my eyes, her gaze filled with a sorrowful sadness, “I didn’t ask for this. It’s here though, and I can’t make it stop. They all expect something just because of my looks.”

The air shifted. I could feel the weight of her words settle. I could feel the tension in the air.

“Ivy, that’s… I don’t think anyone should expect something from you just because they find you attractive.”

She scoffed, like she’s heard it before.

“Yeah, well, that's not how it works. They think I owe them. Like they get to decide who I am because of how I look.”

Her voice trembled. The quake in her voice told me all I needed to know. This wasn’t just out of the blue. This was something much deeper than a simple confession. Much more than a stupid love letter.

Something that had been building for years.

I couldn’t say anything. I sat there, looking at her in a new light. Like she had just been reinvented in my eyes. I can’t imagine being in her situation. The constant judging and everyone expecting something from you—to live up to a standard you didn’t set. It must’ve been exhausting. I could see that it had worn her down.

“Ivy,” I said quietly, stepping closer. She didn’t pull away, so I took that as a sign to keep going.

“Screw them. Screw those expectations, screw those people. You don’t need to live up to a standard that isn’t yours. You don’t need to be this,” I gestured to her, “version that everyone wants you to be. Be yourself. Don’t cater to their whims. Be who you want to be.”

Her eyes glazed over me. An analytical appraisal, like she was trying to discern what my goal was. If I was sincere or just saying what she wanted to hear. Eventually, she sighed, her posture sagging slightly, like some of the weight had lifted from her shoulders.

“I don’t know what to do…” She admitted, her voice barely above a whisper, “All of this,” she held up the letter, “is so exhausting. It’s like I’m suffocating.”

I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries nor did I actually know what to say but there was one thing that needed to be stated.

“Well,” I said, slowly, “I can’t speak for everyone but I see you, Ivy. I see you for who you are—not your looks. You’re more than that. I see you as an independent woman, someone who doesn’t need the approval of others to be well… you.”

She glanced at me, her eyes softening ever so slightly. There was still doubt there but I could tell that my words got through to her—even it wasn’t very much.

“You really think that?” She responded, small.

“I do. You’re more than your looks. You’re smart, strong, and kind. You don’t owe anyone more than you’re willing to give and hopefully one day you’ll see that,” I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked down the hall.

She stood there in silence, a small smile, almost invisible—tugging on her face. I could feel the distance between us, slowly closing between us as we started talking more and more about ourselves to one another. Something told me she believed me, even if she didn’t believe it herself.

“Thanks, Wyatt,” she said quietly.

“You coming?” I smiled back at her. A warmth spread through my body. It wasn’t much but it was a step in the right direction. A small crack in her armor. Maybe, one day, she’ll believe it too.