Love is like a firework; at first, there’s a spark that erupts with the glow of a thousand stars, a feeling of euphoria that bursts into a ‘never-want-this-to-end’ moment.

That’s what it felt like the first time I kissed my best friend the summer after our college graduation.

The air by the lake was humid and filled with promise. A bonfire glowed and crackled from beside us while our friends giggled and yelled as they chased one another around the trees.

“I’m really gonna miss this,” I said, clutching at the fraying strands of rope that held up my favorite swing. My feet scraped against the gravel. “We have to go be adults now.”

The sky consistently erupted with colors of white and gold, dispersing the last of our innocence before we all went our separate ways.

Alexander, or Dex as I affectionately had nicknamed him, grinned from beside me. “Ames, we’ve been adults for years now.”

“Yeah, but now it’s official.” I waved a hand at the scene in front of us. “We just graduated from college and we are starting jobs. That’s what really marks adulthood.”

My twin, Eloise, shrieked in the background as her current boy-of-the-week picked her up and threw her into the lake. Her carefree attitude allowed her to go through boys like she went through clothes. I, however, preferred to spend as much precious time with my best friend as possible. I liked the consistency and didn’t want anything to change.

“Then maybe we should enjoy what’s left of our childhood before it’s gone.” Dex pulled me to my feet. He grabbed a sparkler from the box on the picnic table and clicked a lighter.

“This spark represents our almost two decade friendship,” Dex said, holding the stick between his fingers. The light shining in front of us lit up his brown eyes. “Something I hope we can have for a long time.”

“If only you weren’t leaving next week.” I reached up and laced my fingers together around his neck.

This is it, Amelia. Tell him how you feel.

“Ames, we’ve lived next door to each other since we were four years old. Nothing is going to change between us.” Dex placed his hands on my shoulders. “I promise.”

I sighed and plopped my head on his chest. “Dex, you’re my best friend. You’re moving away, starting over, and—”

“And nothing is going to change how I feel about you,” he jumped in.

My heart pounded in my chest. I hadn’t anticipated that. Ever since I was fifteen, I’d wanted something more with Dex. I never even knew how he felt about me. Until now at twenty-three.

“H-how do you feel about me?” I asked.

He reached up and tucked my blonde hair behind my ears. “I like you, Amelia. A lot. And I guess…I don’t know, I never had the courage to tell you until now.” He leaned in close until I could feel his breath tickle my skin.

“You have terrible timing,” I whispered.

“So I’ve been told.” Dex closed the gap between us. His lips landed on mine and he pulled my body close to his by hooking his finger through my belt loop.

Loud booms echoed above us, exploding into a plethora of colors in the sky. I melted into Dex’s embrace, never wanting to let go. He slid his hands up my bare back, rubbing small circles with his thumbs. The moment was perfect. Finally, me and Dex together with nothing that could stop us.

And then that same glow that brought so much euphoria and so much happiness fizzles out, the remnants fading until all that was remains no more.

Because moments like what I had with Dex only last so long

“I have to go,” Dex breathed against my mouth. “Mom needs me to finish packing.”

He pulled back and walked away, hands shoved into his pockets, before I could say another word.

Later that night, I snuck over to the tree house built between our property and Dex’s house next door. With a mirror, I flashed our signal at his room, hoping he’d get the message. A few minutes later, there was a rustle and a series of grunts as Dex climbed up the wooden ladder into the tree house.

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The tree house was something we’d helped our fathers build when we were eight years old. It was somewhere we could go just the two of us. Our place. Our sanctuary. We kept it filled with board games, card games, and lots of blankets for when we fell asleep out there.

“Hey,” I greeted him. I opened a cooler and pulled out a root beer, offering one to him. He accepted it then sat down next to me.

“Hey. You know, you could’ve just texted,” he teased.

“Where’s the fun in that?” I sipped my root beer. “Sorry for the late call but I wanted to see you again. I know it probably sounds silly, but—”

“It’s not silly.” Dex covered my hand with his own. “I’m gonna miss you too, Ames. It’s gonna be so weird not to have you next door anymore.”

“Yeah. I wanted to ask you about that kiss.” I risked a glance over at him, and he smiled, pulling me closer.

“Mm, what about it?” He set his root beer down and brushed my hair away from my shoulders.

“What exactly does it mean for us, given that you’re leaving in a week?” I stared down at my hands. “It’s not like we can exactly start a brand-new relationship right now. Can we?”

“Do you want to?” he asked. “Or do you want to just leave things how they are?”

I shook my head. “Things have changed, Dex. You kissed me, I can’t just let go of that.”

Dex gathered me into his lap. “Okay, then maybe…maybe we put ourselves on pause. And if the next time we see each other we’re both still single, then maybe we can consider long distance. What do you say?” He stroked a finger down my cheek.

“Hm. I guess we can work with that,” I replied.

With a grin, Dex cupped my face in his hands and kissed me for the second time that night. He leaned me back on the blankets beneath us, running his fingers over my back and under the straps of my top. His lips dropped down to my neck and my eyes fluttered closed.

My fingers fluttered across his chest. My body wanted more, but something in my heart stopped me.

“Dex, wait.” I sat up, fixing my top and twirling my hair around a finger. “I don’t think we should do this. I mean, it’s already going to hurt so much to lose you in a week, I don’t want us to do something we can’t come back from.”

Dex nodded as I bit my lip in anticipation for his response. “Yeah. Yes, you’re right. Let’s just stay out here and enjoy each other’s company, okay?”

“I’d like that.” As I looked into his eyes, I expected to see my future. But instead all I saw was my past fading away.

***

A week later, my best friend left me. It was one of the hardest weeks of my life, but I knew it was going to be the start of a new adventure. For both of us.

I hugged him tight, breathing in the woodsy scent of his cologne and wishing that he didn’t have to leave yet. I didn’t start teaching until August, but he had to get settled into his new apartment before his job started in two weeks.

“You’re going to crush it in Cali.” I swiped at my eyes, cursing myself for not using waterproof mascara.

“And you’re going to be an amazing teacher here in Portland.” Dex kissed the top of my head. “I’ll write to you, Amy. Every week, okay?”

“You’ll come to visit?”

He nodded. “Of course. It’s only two and a half hours by plane.”

Not to mention over a thousand miles away.

I pulled away slowly. “I’m going to hold you to that, Dex.”

Dex leaned down and kissed me, letting his fingers hover over the straps to my tank top. “Bye, Ames.”

“Bye, Dex. Don’t forget me when you become a world-class chef.”

He laughed as he got into the passenger seat of the car. “I could never forget you, Amelia. I will never forget you.”

I watched until his car, packed to the brim with all of his things for the 17 hour car ride, disappeared from the neighborhood.

“Don’t dwell on it too much,” Eloise said, coming over to sling a tanned arm around my shoulders. “You and Dex have always been inseparable. A thousand miles has nothing on you.”

“One thousand eighty two,” I clarified. “And I hope you’re right. Dex and I have never been that far apart. Like, ever.”

Eloise rolled her eyes. “Ugh, you are way too sappy to hang around right now.” She pulled her auburn hair back into a high ponytail. She’d dyed it when we were fifteen in an attempt to make sure people could tell us apart. Considering we were already complete polar opposites, it just pushed us further apart.

“Enjoy the summer while it lasts, Ames!” she called over her shoulder.

I sighed and shoved my hands into my back pockets. There were only a few weeks left in my summer vacation before I started my teaching job and I was bound and determined to enjoy them.

My phone vibrated in my pocket with a text.

Missing you already xo -Dex

I smiled and texted him back. Miss you too, Dex. xo, Ames

July 18th

Dex,

How’s California? I know you’re busy getting settled into your new apartment in San Diego. Only three weeks left until I start teaching! God, I’ve been dreaming about this day for so long. It feels different without you here. You’re doing great things out there in Cali but I don’t know, it’s not the same. Anyway, that’s enough of my ramblings for now. Talk soon.

Xo Ames

July 20th

Ames,

California is beautiful. The restaurant is awesome and the view from my apartment is so amazing. I have two roommates and they’re both pretty cool. Don’t worry—no one is going to replace you as my best friend ;) Wish you were here to see it with me. You’re gonna rock it as a teacher.