For obvious reasons––I think––it, uh…took me a couple of minutes to get down to dinner after that. I spent most of that time sitting on Crystal’s bed like an idiot, my eyes staring blankly towards the doorway and two fingers pressed against my lips.

I wasn’t exactly the best with girls, but even I could take a hint when someone slapped me in the face with it. Well, I think I could at least. In hindsight, it seemed like getting kissed out of the blue was par for the course for me figuring out that a girl was actually interested in me. Rachel, sorta kinda Calypso, Annabeth…and now Crystal.

My cheeks turned scarlet as I remembered the dancing spark in Crystal’s shining blue eyes as she kissed me. I’d seen her walk before and that sway she’d put into her hips had been very deliberate. There had been a promise in her smile that set my heart racing and made it somewhat uncomfortable to stay seated.

And then I remembered my previous kiss before today and my blush died in an instant. Annabeth’s lips had felt like ice cubes against mine, except without the revitalizing touch of ice slowly melting into water. For all that we’d gone into things knowing either one of us might die, I think we both expected that it would be me that wasn’t going to be coming back to camp.

I tried to take a deep breath, but the air caught in my throat and I leaned forward to cradle my head in my hands. My skin felt almost feverishly hot and my fingernails pressed futilely into my scalp, invulnerable nails finding no purchase in equally invulnerable skin.

It should have been me. It should have been me. It should have been me.

The words chased themselves endlessly through my mind, a mantra I’d found myself repeating on far too many nights over the last half-year. I knew it was pointless. I knew it was self destructive. I knew Ann––Annabeth would have hated to see me like this. But I just couldn’t get it out of my head.

…shouldhavebeenmeshouldhavebeenmeshouldhavebeenmebeenmebeenmememememe…

With the words came regrets. I, Percy Jackson, the savior of Olympus, who had ventured into the underworld more times than nearly any other demigod in history (not counting the ones that lived there of course, Nico clearly didn’t count), had never mustered to the courage to visit her in the Elysium fields. Even with the offer of godhood on the table, the Council had refused my pleas to bring her back, and after that I’d never had the strength to face her.

And now, it felt so very much like it was too late. I had no idea how to get home. I had no idea what would happen if––when––I died here. Where would my soul go? Where did the countless souls of everyone who died here go, even? For months that had been one of the few things that kept me going; the dream that when I finally was reunited with Annabeth, I’d be able to face her with my head held high knowing that I had lived a life she could be proud of.

“She would have wanted you to be happy. You did it, Percy. We did it. We paid a steep cost for this victory, but don’t forget the countless lives we saved by stopping Kronos. If she truly loved you, and I think she did, she would hate to see you throw your life away like this, Percy. I miss her too Percy, but this isn’t healthy”

The words had felt strange coming from a Huntress of Artemis, but they echoed what everyone else had told me too. I just didn’t want to hear them.

In the end, it really was our flaws that defined us. I would have died to save Annabeth a thousand times over. Loyal to a fault, even if it killed me. And yet, what was loyalty in the face of hubris. Annabeth hadn’t wanted to die, and yet she’d thought nothing of taking a knife for me when the time came. Even in her final moments, I don’t think she ever truly believed that someone like Ethan Nakamura could spell her end.

I couldn’t just move on. I didn’t think I would ever forget Annabeth. But if Annabeth had been willing to give something so precious for me, then how could I spit on her sacrifice by throwing it all away?

Someday, I would see her again. It was not a question of it, but merely when. I didn’t know how, I didn’t know where, I didn’t know when. But the sun rises, the earth spins, and I would see Annabeth again.

Until then though, I would live. So when I see her again, I can face Annabeth squarely and meet her eyes with certainty and pride.

I took a deep, ragged breath, and, with an enormous effort, managed to stand up. No one saw me as I shambled to the bathroom, delicious smells and laughter rising up the stairs and tickling my senses.

I splashed my face with water, fresh and clear, but good enough for now. I was the ocean. Deep and calm now, but dark and terrible when my fury was roused. Crystal was alive. Vicky was alive. Dinner smelled amazing.

I willed myself dry, brushed a hand through my messy black hair, and looked at myself in the mirror. Sea green eyes met their own reflection and for a moment I thought I could see just the barest glint of gold shining in the endless depths of the sea. I frowned. Right. That dream.

It was by far one of the saddest and least coherent demigod dreams I’d ever had and even a few days later I didn’t know what to make of it. For what must have been the thousandth time, I wished that I could go back to camp and talk to Chiron. The ancient centaur had forgotten more about the world than I’d ever learned and was a veritable geyser of advice.

Vicky’s voice echoed loudly up the stairs and down the hallway. “Percy, food’s getting cold!”

My frown vanished. Dreams and grim thoughts of the future could wait. Dinner couldn’t. Crystal’s taste in food hadn’t steered me wrong yet, and if she said the shells were good, I absolutely believed her.

Despite telling me that she wanted to talk later, Crystal ended up falling asleep basically right after dessert. The girl put away enough pasta, sauce, and leftover cheesecake to feed a (very pretty) grizzly bear––a side effect of Panacea’s healing according to Vicky––and was out like a light barely fifteen minutes later.

Vicky stuck around for another hour and helped me work through the forms I needed to file as a PRT affiliated hero. It was terrible, but not nearly as terrible as the looming mountain I would have been dealing with if I was an actual Protectorate hero, and Vicky’s help cut the daunting process down to barely fifteen minutes of work.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

It turned out I could do everything right from my new phone. Vicky showed me how to navigate the preinstalled app and, while typing everything out on the tiny keyboard took forever, the amount of hassle it saved was pretty dang great. This cell phone thing was really growing on me. Just another amazing innovation denied to demigods by stupid monsters.

Thankfully, Vicky seemed to be over whatever had taken hold of her when I’d first arrived at the Pelhams. She’d made a heartfelt promise to be better and that was that. Ultimately nothing bad had really happened so I was just happy that she’d gotten a valuable learning experience out of the fight.

After extracting a promise to actually go to Buns 'n' Roses together tomorrow, Vicky flew off, leaving me alone with the Pelhams. That ended up being, uh…kinda awkward honestly. There was this whole thing with Crystal’s mom and dad both tearfully thanking me for looking after their daughter while I just desperately wanted to be anywhere else. Thankfully they went to bed soon after, leaving just me and Eric awake.

Eric raised an eyebrow. “I hope you aren’t expecting me to get all sobby too?” he asked jokingly.

I slumped back against the couch. “Oh gods please don’t.” That had been exhausting.

Eric laughed. “Don’t worry, I won’t.” Then his expression turned deadly serious, his face in sharp contrast with the fluffy, cartoon animals on his sweater. “But like, thanks Percy. Seriously. Just don’t go breaking Crystal’s heart and we’ll be all g, capisce?”

I was curious if Crystal had said something to him, or if it had just been obvious to everyone except for me. Still, there was only one way I could reasonably respond. “I wasn’t planning to.”

Eric grinned widely. “Good. Good night, Percy. Don’t go sneaking into Crystal’s room just yet, she needs her sleep. At least take her out on a second date first.”

I was still trying to splutter out a denial when Eric calmly left the room.

Very annoyingly, I didn’t get to talk to Crystal in the morning like I wanted to. I stayed up way too late, plagued by intrusive thoughts. Crystal’s kiss, Eric’s words, my fight with Hookwolf, and a thousand other things that had happened over the past week swirled in my head like fish caught in a hurricane.

I could barely believe that it had been less than a week since I’d first appeared here. Today was Monday, well, basically Tuesday, and I’d fallen through whatever weird portal or whatever had brought me here on Wednesday morning. Six days and yet a lot had happened. Then again, most of my quests hadn’t really been much longer than that, and those could fill an entire book each with ease.

Anyway, apparently Crystal had classes all day on Tuesdays and Thursdays and she, along with everyone else, was long gone by the time I finally dragged myself out of bed around nine. Apparently our talk was going to have to wait until tonight, though maybe that was for the best. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to say to her, nor how I felt about what she’d done.

Crystal was smart, pretty, kind, and a whole bunch of other good stuff. I’d only known her for a handful of days but she seemed like a great person. She could totally do better than me. More than that, I wasn’t really sure I was ready for…whatever it was she wanted. As much as I wanted to live a good life and be happy, I was still actively grieving and maybe it would be better to wait and take things slowly.

Realizing that I was getting nowhere, I spent a few hours training out in the backyard, then ate lunch and messed around with my new phone for a bit. It was really great to be able to access the internet without having to go use one of the grimy computers at the library, though I quickly discovered that sunlight made trying to see anything on the screen completely impossible.

Around two o’clock, I left the Pelhams home and headed down towards the boardwalk. It was a bit of a run and I didn’t actually know the way, but that just meant I jogged all the way down to the coast––a son of Poseidon would never get lost trying to reach the ocean––then followed the water until I found the boardwalk. It was a bit of a detour, but I was never going to say no to spending more time next to the ocean and it wasn’t like I was running late or anything.

I got there with plenty of time to spare. It was a gorgeous day, a bit cloudy, but not windy at all and warmer than it had been the last few days. Instead of waiting up on the boardwalk itself, I stayed down on the beach and lay down a little on the damp sand where the tides had soaked the ground but waves couldn’t quite reach.

There was something profoundly relaxing about just lying next to the ocean. It wasn’t as nice as lying in the ocean, but that would probably have looked suspicious to anyone on the boardwalk and some variety was nice too. Also, this way none of the nearby fish could come ask me to deal with their ‘problems’. Like, come on. Most of the stuff they asked for was pretty damn stupid and I just didn’t want to be bothered with it right now, but I was way too nice to say no if they asked and I wasn’t doing something else.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, nearly making me jump out of my skin, but I quickly realized what it was. I didn’t bother checking my messages, already knowing exactly who was texting me. After all, I could feel Vicky flying towards me, a big, person-shaped mass of water bigger than any bird zooming through the sky high above me.

I was up on my feet and jogging towards the cafe when Vicky landed. She spotted me immediately––my bright orange camp t-shirt stood out in a crowd––and waved happily as I hurried up the stairs that led from the boardwalk down to the sand.

“Hey Percy!” she greeted me, her aura brushing gently against my mind as she expressed her happiness.

I washed it away and smiled back. “Hey Vicky, how was school?”

Vicky deflated dramatically, “Oh it was awful.” She grabbed my arm and started dragging me towards the bakery. “Dean has been so insufferable lately, you know? I’m not talking to him, but he’s being such a dick about everything! We’re partnered up in a chem and it's just been the worst. Then a bunch of people were pestering me with questions about the new hero Riptide,” she winked, “but mom said I can’t talk about him yet so it was like a whole thing.”

The bell on the door rang as we entered the bakery and Vicky paused for a moment to look around the cafe and just breath in the smell of all the bread and other baked goods. A song I vaguely recognized was playing softly in the background and I found myself humming along with half-remembered lyrics.

‘Cause nothin' lasts forever, even cold November rain,’ the man in the recording sang passionately, ‘Don't ya think that you need somebody? Don't ya think that you need someone?’

The red-headed woman I remembered seeing the first time I’d come here was standing behind the counter, also humming along with the song as she loaded cookies off a tray into a basket behind the glass. She looked up and smiled at us as we came in, then went back to work.

“Oh damn,” Vicky whispered, “I can’t believe I haven’t been here before. This place smells so good!” She took a deep breath and swooned, leaning heavily against my side with her hair draping down my arm.

“Bakeries do that.”

Vicky snorted in amusement then straightened, her feet floating several inches above the ground so she could stand level with me. “So what’s good here?”

I shrugged. “Everything I’ve tried so far has been pretty great, but I’ve only been here a few times. I’m sure she can recommend something.”

She could, in fact, recommend some things. Lots of things. Brownies and blondies, rich pies and wonderfully flakey croissants. We both ate more baked goods than was strictly a good idea. Then, with Vicky lamenting the terrible damage all these carbs would do to her figure, we went and spent an hour sparring at the isolated stretch of beach New Wave used for training. It was pretty great.

Well, up until right at the end when I helped Vicky to her feet and she decided to plant a searing kiss on my lips. To be perfectly honest, that part was also pretty great. After that though, I was just confused.