Lost Aletheia

Chapter 3: Princess and Knight

As I lay in the remains of my last-ditch effort, the pain from the entire battle’s injuries makes itself known to my body, as if an army of razor blades pierced into me at once. It was unbearable, but it hurt so much that I was starting to pass out. My only solace is that I don’t have to put up with this pain for much longer. But despite all the pain, my eyes couldn’t help but focus on something that stuck out like a sore thumb - something akin to a human shadow burned into the wall. Unknowingly, I had started crying upon seeing it. It was strange, but far from the strangest thing that happened this night. I wonder if I would’ve met that fate if not for Gamus…

Kazuki: “At least I was able to keep Gamus safe…”

As if in response to their name being called, Gamus’ signal appeared in my helmet.

Gamus: “You really are an idiot, aren’t you?”

…That’s the thanks I get for being a hero? At least they’re sounding far better than the last time I heard from them.

Gamus: “But… you saved me, so thank you. You’re probably out of power by now, so this will be all for tonight.”

Kazuki: “Out of power? What… are you…”

The more I tried to speak, the more the pain and subsequent drowsiness hit me. It felt as if gravity itself was pulling me into the dark depths of unconsciousness.

Gamus: “Not now. Don’t worry, your suit will heal your wounds before you next wake. If we sort out the issues, the real Kazuki Yuma should appear next time, but if this arrangement is permanent, then I’ll… give you as much info as I can.”

What the hell do they mean by “real” Kazuki Yuma? So what, saving your life wasn’t enough to fit whatever you wanted me to be?? I can’t believe this is the treatment I get for almost dying to save them. I unfortunately am too far gone to voice any of these complaints.

Gamus: “Goodbye, Kazuki Yuma.”

Kazuki: “w a i-”

BEEP BEEP BEEP

…

…

What?

I’m… back in my bedroom?

——————————————————————————————————————————

That… that was a dream? There’s no way! I know that I would’ve died if I hadn’t given everything to kill that monster… Monster… What the hell am I talking about? Of course that had to be a dream. Something like that could never exist in real life, right? …Right? But that pain was real…

Azumi: “Big bro, get up!!!”

As had become our morning routine, Azumi burst into my room and jumped to kick me out of bed. Only there was one major difference this morning, I had completely blocked her kick.

Azumi: “...Eh?”

Kazuki: “Huh?”

I was still on edge from my… dream last night. I must’ve instinctually blocked it, even though Azumi could never actually hurt me with these kicks. But that aside, this was the first moment I finally realized that she was here, and I was here, and we were both safe.

Azumi: “Well, if you were already awake then why didn’t you turn off your-WAH”

I wasn’t listening to what she was saying, instead I wrapped both my arms around her as tightly as I could without hurting her. I had to make sure this wasn’t a dream, that she was here in front of me. And I had to make sure that I wouldn’t let her go again.

Azumi: “Hey, what’s up with you??”

Asking half out of annoyance and half out of concern, she reasonably questioned why I’d seem so emotional this early in the morning.

Kazuki: “I’m sorry. It’s just…”

I wasn’t sure I’d see you again. I couldn’t let those words out. Instead, against my will, tears flowed down my face. I could feel Azumi straighten herself as she realized this was serious. Gently putting her hand on the top of my head, she consoled me.

Azumi: “It’s okay. You must’ve had a really bad dream, but I’m still here… You can’t get rid of me that easily!”

Kazuki: “Yeah, I know.”

But the tears wouldn’t stop. Azumi’s small hands continued to pet my head while reassuring me everything was okay. Honestly it’s pathetic. What kind of guy has to get his seven year old sister to console him?

Azumi: “You’ve done well, m-my knight.”

These words felt like they broke me from whatever curse I had been under. Although she was clearly embarrassed to say them, with her face a shade of red, they meant more to me than she could ever understand. I honestly thought she’d forgotten about that old promise, it’s been so long.

Kazuki: “...Thank you, Azumi.”

Seeing that I was alright and that she was even more embarrassed, I let her go and she promptly turned her back to me.

Azumi: “H-hmph! As long as you’re okay. I’m getting older y’know, you won’t get me saying kiddy stuff like that forever, so you have to feel better! …and you were supposed to call me ‘princess’.”

The last words of the statement were a mutter that I probably wasn’t supposed to hear, but I jumped on it anyways.

Kazuki: “Ah- of course, princess.”

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Nodding her head in satisfaction, she was clearly more happy that she was able to help but I’ll play along with her rebellious phase, it’s the least I can do.

Azumi: “I’m heading down. You should come before breakfast gets cold.”

With this, she left the room and I got ready for the day, before heading downstairs. It was once again the same breakfast as yesterday: eggs, bacon, and toast. Today felt special however. We didn’t have quite the conversation we did the day prior, and someone looking in may even think it held an air of awkwardness, but that wasn’t true. It was as if we were simply enjoying being in each other’s presence, happy that we were here at all. We quickly finished up and headed towards our schools for the day. For the first time in a long time, we held hands the whole way there. It was at my request. Even if it was a dream, that feeling of never seeing her again… That was real. I had to make sure that could never come to be true. This life, these daily routines, this is what I must protect as her knight.

——————————————————————————————————————————

After we parted ways at her school, I could feel the protection she gave me start to fade. Thoughts of last night flooded my brain once more, along with a wave of anxiety. My mind was being attacked by a flood of unanswered questions like what it all meant, who Gamus really was, who that mysterious child was and why I didn’t even seem phased by his presence. But above all else, one thought was at the forefront.

Remember what you really are…

The real Kazuki Yuma…

Both the boy and Gamus made allusions to the fact that I’m not “real”... Even if it was just a dream, what is my mind trying to tell me?

Kazuki: “What the hell… Don’t act like you know me when I’ve never even met either of you…”

Perhaps it was a foolish thought if it truly was a dream that came from my mind, but I just can’t accept total strangers acting like they know who I am better than myself. What does it even mean to be the “real” me? I’m just trying to get by in life like anyone else… Is there something wrong with that? But what if… What if there is some meaning to it? Is there something I’m missing from my life?

While pondering these thoughts, it seems Daisuke and Ema had caught up to me. Apparently Daisuke was yelling at me the whole time, as usual, but I was so deep in thought it didn’t even register.

Daisuke: “What’s up with you, dude? You would’ve given me at least three sarcastic comments by now any other day.”

Kazuki: “...Sorry.”

I can’t just turn off my thoughts, even if they’re here now. But that’s gonna make it hard to talk. I can only get away with autopilot responses for so long. Maybe I should just ask them?

Daisuke: “And that’s all you’re responding with?”

Ema: “Don’t tell me! Has Shiori already invaded that much of your mind?!”

Kazuki: “Shiori?... Oh, maybe…”

Ema: “...Okay, something is definitely wrong with you. Did you get in a fight with Azumi or something?”

I should just ask them what they think of me. They’re my friends, they have to know who I am, they see me everyday. It should be so easy… but what if it’s an answer that I don’t like? Do I have to accept that as “me”?...

Kazuki: “Ahhh, why am I overthinking this??”

They both looked at me, concerned.

Daisuke: “Listen man, I don’t know what’s going on but you can talk to us, y’know?”

He’s right… I should just ask…

Kazuki: “Ah, well… I was just wondering… What…”

What do you think of me? What do you think of when you hear ‘Kazuki Yuma’? What’s your most vivid memory of me? So many ways to ask…

Kazuki: “...are you doing after school…”

But I’m a coward.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Daisuke: “Huh?? Is that all bro? Hmm… Well it sucks to say after all that build-up but I’m working today.”

Kazuki: “Ah…”

Daisuke: “Sorry man, we can’t all live off our parents’ cash like you.”

This may have sounded like an insult but it truly was just a joke, as made clear by the hearty laughter expressed by Daisuke after speaking it. Ema however remained silent the whole exchange. No doubt she can see right through my feeble attempt at a coverup, but I really didn’t want her to push the issue.

Kazuki: “Oh crap, I just remembered I forgot something at my desk yesterday… I’m gonna run ahead and grab it before anyone can steal it, I’ll see you guys there.”

Ema: “Hey, wait!”

But before her words could reach me, I had already started sprinting towards the academy. I hadn’t forgotten anything yesterday, I just desperately didn’t want that conversation to continue. Not as I am right now. I’m a coward, I know but I needed to escape. I’ve already relied on Azumi today… I need to do the rest myself.

I arrived in little to no time, perhaps due to still being in a state of fight or flight from my thoughts of last night. Upon my arrival, I noticed almost no one else here, except a distinct pair that anyone in the school would recognize.

???: “Oh, Kazuki, my dear boy! I see you’ve arrived early today! I understand, I understand. Punctuality is indeed a step to one’s enlightenment, so they may become the best in whatever they desire. You know, it’s for that precise reason that I show up to this fine academy three hours before anyone else! No one could be better than me then, but better luck next time!”

This… eccentric fellow was Haruki Kurona. With his black hair complimenting his brown eyes and tanned skin, he was a prime target for any student wanting to start a relationship, yet he’d turn down anyone and everyone, claiming he had no time for romance. He could be a bit hard to follow at times, but he was also one of the smartest people in our class, always in a constant rivalry with Shiori. His black glasses completed the smart look, although I’m not sure they’re truly prescribed glasses… Either way, I always go to him whenever there’s something we’ve learned that I don’t fully understand. It can take some detours, but he eventually will explain it in a way that makes you think you were stupid for ever not understanding it. Despite his wisdom however, his eccentricity put a wall between him and most other students who try to get close to him, with one big exception.

???: “Hey, that’s not fair! I got here two hours ago meaning I’ll still be better than he’ll ever be, right Haruki??”

Haruki: “H-hmm. I’m not sure the means really work when your end isn’t enlightenment but simply my favor…”

???: “Whaaaaaaaat?? Then what do I have to do to get that??”

The girl who may be considered the most persistent on campus was named Hikaru Kikka. With her blonde hair and amber eyes, she easily captured the eyes of those who saw her. But few would choose to come close to her when noticing that she spent her entire day pestering… No, let’s say “hanging out” with Haruki, for quite possibly the most well known crush in the history of schools. Her attempts had yielded no results in the weeks we’ve been here, but that didn’t deter her in the slightest. And she was the only person able to interrupt Haruki’s flow, which was an accomplishment all on its own.

Haruki: “An interesting quandary Hikaru, but alas I must carry on to the auditorium and prepare! Fare Thee Well!”

Sprinting not unlike how I did to arrive here, Haruki left towards our classroom. Seeing this, Hikaru swiftly turned to me, her positive disposition completely gone without a trace. Instead, a look of scorn is directed my way.

Hikaru: “Listen, I don’t give a damn what your game is, but you better not be gunning for Haruki. He’s ten times beyond what you’ll ever be, so don’t even try.”

…This is the other reason not many talk to her…

Kazuki: “Well, you don’t have to worry about that… I really just happened to get here early today…”

Hikaru: “Well, make sure it doesn’t happen again!”

Somewhat shouting this, she pivoted and headed towards the same class as Haruki.

…Are there any normal people at this school?

——————————————————————————————————————————

All my lectures seemed especially dull today, but I’m not sure if it was the material’s fault or my mind’s inability to stop thinking about the “real” me.

As lunch was ending and I was on my way to the next class, a familiar violet invited herself next to me.

Shiori: “Wassup, Kazuki?”

She said this while holding a peace sign to her eye. How trendy.

Kazuki: “Nothing much, really. Just making it through the day like usual, I guess.”

Shiori: “Huhhhh? Come on, that’s no way to live, you gotta have some fun with life!”

Kazuki: “Oh, I do, school just isn’t a part of that fun.”

Shiori: “Oh, really? What’s so fun about being outside of school then.”

Kazuki: “Huh? Well, it’s kinda awkward when you put me on the spot like that, but I guess… spending time with Azumi? And maybe Daisuke and Ema too… On good days.”

Shiori giggled upon hearing that.

Shiori: “I’m not sure they’d appreciate that last add-on, but I’ll keep it to myself for now. But who’s this Azumi? I don’t think we have someone named that in our class?”

Kazuki: “Oh, she’s my little sister.”

Shiori: “Oh, the little sister type! I see, I see, that definitely fits.”

Kazuki: “...I’m not sure I’m liking the impression you seem to be building of me.”

Shiori laughed in a slightly devilish manner, yet still playful. It’s strange… not more than ten minutes ago I was stuck in my head, but this girl pushed that all away like it was nothing. She almost gives me the same comforting feeling as Azumi… Am I…

As if to cut off my train of thoughts, the warning alarm I set on my phone went off, reminding me to hurry to class. Shiori followed me.

I once again could no longer pay attention to the lecture but for an entirely different reason, Shiori sat beside me. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, it’s happened before, but between my weird headspace and my earlier thoughts being cut off, I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about Shiori. I haven’t known her that long, yet she’s already gotten this much of a hold on me? Maybe Ema was right to be scared of her… At some point, I must have started looking at her because she started looking back at me. When I finally came back to reality, she just closed her eyes and gave a little smile.

That was it. I couldn’t run from it anymore. I was enamored by this girl. If one simple smile could give me this sense of comfort, there had to be something. I don’t know these feelings enough to define them, but I want to learn more about them. And to do that, I need to be with her more. But… It's a scary thought. The amount of things that could go wrong by trying to advance this relationship too fast… Worst case, she might be so put off that she never speaks to me again. I don’t know if I could handle that… but I’m not sure how long I could ignore these feelings either. Really it’s silly, I met this girl not more than three weeks ago…

No… I already made a cowardly choice today, maybe this is my chance. I could let this settle and just keep everything to myself, but maybe just once I can go forward with no help. Maybe this is a step towards the “real” me. A decision I make on my own merits, and one that I truly believe in! Either way, I want to keep this feeling I get when I’m around her… That’s it, I’ve decided. After this class ends, I’m gonna ask her out… No matter the outcome, I have to do this for myself.

Shiori: “Hey Kazuki?”

Kazuki: “Huh?”

She had said this in a whispered tone, clearly making sure no one but me could hear.

Shiori: “After school… Wanna go out?”

…

Kazuki: “HUH??”