By sunrise, my eyes were red, I had bags under my eyes, my head hurt, and the last thing I wanted was to get out of bed. If I were home, I would probably stay in bed. Dad would understand and call my teacher to explain. But I wasn’t home, and I really didn’t want to explain any of this to Shelly’s parents. So I got out of bed and sorted myself out. Shelly’s Mom informed us at breakfast that she’d drive us to school, so any chance of just sneaking back home went out the window.

School had some stupid rules about makeup, but a bit of foundation and concealer was something I could get away with. I just hoped my eyes would clear out a little bit by the first period. I did not want to answer questions or get referred to the counselor, again. But I got no comments from any of the teachers, no one seemed to notice anything.

Which, on some level, was worse.

I really didn’t want to be at school, I wanted to be home, screaming, crying, or even just whaling on some poor nails, putting boards on the front of the house. I definitely did not want to be in Ruth Gabor’s math class, going for the third week in a row on how derivatives work. I already knew how derivative work, and integrals, and Laplacians… maybe even better than her.

The only person who acted differently was creepy Tamara Omar. I had no idea what her deal was, but she always had a thing for me. The first day of high school, she came to me and told me she was going to be my friend. Always tries to sit next to me, always volunteers to be my partner on assignments. We don’t live that far, so she always tries to go home with me or join me on the way to school if I walk. She never did anything, but the girl has some serious boundary issues. The only time it sort of crossed a line was when she volunteered herself to accompany me to the restroom on a school trip without asking.

Mom said I shouldn’t be mean to her, but I don’t have to be nice. That is, more or less, how I delt with her thus far.

Today I just wanted to punch her.

It’s not one thing she did — it was a lot of little things. She attached herself to Shelly and me as we came to school, traded places to sit in the same line as me, and kept looking at me. I’m aware that saying it like that makes me sound like a five-year-old, but she did, and it drove me crazy. Maybe because today, I just didn’t want anyone to notice me, and she insisted on being obtuse about noticing me.

When we went out for break, I just grabbed Shelly and ran for it, trying to get some space away from Tamara. She, naturally, followed us. I took us away from the main yard and towards the old gym, and she kept following. At that point, I just ran out of patience, and possibly common sense. I pulled Shelly to the side behind a wall, and when Tamara came close, I jumped out with my fist to punch her stupid face. “Would you sto…” I began to shout at her.

I didn’t get to finish the sentence. I had no idea how it happened, but I was with my, rather aching, face in the ground, my arm locked behind my back, and Tamara sitting on me. I’m fairly sure something happened between the two states, but it was so fast I barely registered it. “Get off of her!” Shelly yelled and pushed Tamara off me. “What is wrong with you?”

“She tried to punch me!” Tamara yelled back. Then she looked down at me as I rolled over and groaned. “She did.”

Shelly helped me up. “So you decided to break her teeth and arm?” She asked.

Tamara raised an eyebrow. “Overreacting much?” She said. “It was just an arm lock.”

“I’m fine.” I said to Shelly. I took a deep breath and tried to pretend I’m an adult. “Sorry I tried to punch you.”

Tamara shrugged and got up. “Sorry I smashed your face into the ground.” She said.

“Could you…” I sighed. “Could you just give us some space.” I wiped my hand on my face and realized my makeup was completely smudged.

“I got my makeup kit in my beg,” Tamara said. “You want to borrow it?”

“No.” I said. Tamara had a much darker complexion than I did; I was fairly sure any product she had would look weird on my face. “Just give me some space today.”

“Sorry.” Tamara said, theatrically holding her arms up. “Was just a bit worried about you, with the attack and your Mom gone and all.”

I could feel the blood running out of my face. “How’d you know about that?” I asked.

“You remember I live up the street from you, right?” She asked. Normally, that would make sense, but after no one seemed to react to any of that yesterday, it was just so odd for someone to pick up on that. It took me another moment to realize she knew about Mom. The explosion she could hear, she’s a creepy little stalker, so it made sense she’d come and check it out. But she had no way to know about Mom. Dad wouldn’t tell her, and it’s not like Mom would.

I was about to try and grab her, but Shelly was smarter than me and grabbed me before Tamara could plant me in the ground again. “How do you know about my mom?” I growled at her.

Tamara realized she said something she shouldn’t have. “Ah… she wasn’t around this morning…” She tried to say, but my face clearly told her I wasn’t buying it. “I just know, okay?”

“Don’t be an asshole Tamara.” Shelly said, hands over her hips.

“I shouldn’t have said anything.” Tamara said.

“Well, now you have.” I said. “What else do you know?”

“Maybe I should go.” Tamara said and began to look over her shoulder.

“The one time in your life I actually give you the time of day, and you run off?” I asked.

“You seem upset.” Tamara said, she was turning way from us. But now, for the first time since I met her, I really didn’t want her to go away.

“Of course I’m upset!” I yelled, waving my hands. “Someone put a knife to my throat, our house got blown up, and Mom is some crazy mess murder machine or something, so I can’t talk about any of that.” Shelly’s face made it very clear to me that I had just said something that I shouldn’t; the fact Tamara didn’t react immediately to that should have already set off alarms.

“I wouldn’t call her a mess murderer.” She said, and then also froze. We looked at each other, realizing that we both overstepped.

“What do you know about my mom?” I asked slowly.

“What do you know about your mom?” She replied.

“Tell me how you know she left, and I’ll tell you.” I said.

“Tell me what you know,” Tamara said. ”And I’ll know what I can tell you.”

“Hanna’s mom is a scary fucking alien with superpowers.” Shelly intervened. Both Tamara and I looked at her. “I also know stuff,” she looked at me. “And you’re not the only one that is about holding things in since yesterday.” I looked at my feet and chewed on my lower lip. I was so wrapped up in my own mess that the fact Shelly was also dealing with it sort of went by the wayside.

“I’m sorry.” I said. I walked over and hugged her. “I…”

“It’s fine.” Shelly said. “You have to live through it, I’m just the spectator.” She looked over my shoulder at Tamara. “So, what do you know?” Tamara looked awkward and scratched behind her head.

I pulled away from Shelly. “You going to say something or just stand there until the bell rings?” I asked.

“That’s an option?” She asked.

“No!” I yelled

“Ah…” She began. “I’m sort of part of a detail that’s keeping an eye on your mom… you’re sort of my responsibility in all that.”

My head went forward, my shoulders back and my hands went wide. “What?” I asked. Is that why the cops didn’t come because the Government knew and was keeping it under wraps?

“Your mom knew.” Tamara continued. “She kept telling me how bad at my job I was.”

“I thought you were just stalking me,” I said. “Or something.”

Tamara laughed. “Definitely your mom’s kid – goes straight to make everything about sex.”

“I didn’t say anything about sex,” I said. “That’s just you and your creepy little mind.”

“I take it back,” Tamara said. “She’d probably bed me by now.”

“Yuck!” I said. “You wish!”

She made a dreamy face. “Ho…” She said. “I do.”

“Yuck!” I said again.

“I mean, your mom is hot.” Shelly said.

“You too?” I said with disgust.

“And it’s not like she and your dad are exclusive.” Tamara added. If I could actually look daggers, Tamara would look like a pin cushion right now. The fact Mom and Dad were swingers was always one of those things I hoped no one in school will ever find out. Since Mom told me and explained to me what it was, when I was in sixth grade.

“They’re what?” Shelly asked.

“Fine,” I said. “You're spying on us. You made your point. Now I know. Is some black van going to come now and grab me to dissect me?”

Tamara laughed again. She put her arm around me, and the other around Shelly and began to walk us away. “Ho… You got this so wrong.” She said. She walked us a little bit towards a bench under a tree where two boys were sitting. “Hi!” She called towards them, and they looked at us. Jonny Calvo and Tom Lee were the only people Tamara sort of got along with. Jonny was also a bit of a creep, but Tom was cool and good-looking and sort of my type. “Welcome to the conspiracy girls!” She said. “We’re all from the government, just not yours.”

“Tamara,” Jonny said. “What the fuck?”

“She knows.” Tamara said. “They know.”

Jonny released a sigh of relief. “Thank the Throne.” He said. “It was getting hard to keep an eye on her without looking suspicious.”

“Did she tell you where she went?” Tom asked.

“Who?” I asked.

“Your mother.” He said.

I shook my head. “No idea.” I said.

“So, which countries are you with?” Shelly asked.

The three of them exchanged looks. “Didn’t you say they know?” Jonny asked.

“Wait…” Shelly’s eyes open wide. “You’re aliens!?”

Tom sighed and leaned back. “Sure,” he said. “A bit louder, please. I think there are some people in the junior high who didn’t hear you.”

“Sorry.” Shelly said and covered her mouth. “But you are, right? Aliens?”

“In the sense, we aren’t from this planet?” Jonny asked. “Yes, but we usually keep that term for non-human species.”

“How could you be…” Shelly was trying to sort that out in her head.

“So all of you are spying on me?” I asked.

Tom shrugged. “Spying, protecting, monitoring…” He said. “We’re definitely not hanging around here for fun.”

“I mean, I could do without going through puberty again.” Tamara said. There was so much to deconvolve out of that sentence I could not even properly process it right then and there.

“But you are spying on me.” I said.

“Your mom is kind of a big deal up there.” Tamara said, pointing to the sky. “So much so that if one of her instances just stays put in the suburbs of some backward mudball, people get worried.”

I snickered at that. “She’s like the queen of space or something?”

They didn’t look amused. “Not yet.” Tom said. “But… if things continue at the current pace, she’ll probably be, in a few centuries.”

“You think it’ll take that long?” Jonny said.

Tom shrugged. “What do I know?” He said. “If I was any good at this, I would be monitoring the principle rather than…”

I put my hand on my hips. “Standing right here!” I said. He might be good-looking but he was definitely losing the appeal. After yesterday, I was willing to entertain some very weird shit, like that three of my classmates were alien spies keeping an eye on me – but it doesn’t mean I have to take this attitude lying down.

“Asshole.” Shelly added and looked at Tamara. “So Hanna’s like a princess?” Now, everyone looked very awkward. “Is princess like a slur in space?”

“It’s more that…” Tamara started. “Jonny, you have no tact, you explain.”

“Fuck you, Tam.” He said. “You explain it.”

“I’m not going to get into that.” Tom said.

“Fuck you too.” Jonny said, he looked at all of us, then focused on me. “The thing is… we’re not sure what you’re for.” He said.

“What am I for?” I asked, baffled.

“People are not ‘for’ stuff, Tom,” Shelly said. “That’s reductive.”

They all exchanged looks, so I exchanged looks with Shelly, who shrugged.

Tom elbowed Jonny, who didn’t look very enthusiastic about saying anything more. “You’re all ridiculous.” Tamara said.

“You really want to discuss all of this?” Jonny said. “Out here in the open? We’re about two minutes from someone coming over to lean in and ask if we are bothering the class's main fap fodder and her girlfriend.”

Shelly looked embarrassed, I could only imagine the shed of red I took on. “I’m actually straight.” I said in a low voice.

The three of them looked at me and then started laughing. “Ho,” Tamara said. “That’s a good one.”

“She is.” Shelly said, with maybe a slight disgruntlement in her voice.

“Right, sure.” Tom said.

“Okay. Plan.” Tamara said, punching into an open hand. “After school, my house?”

“To do what?” Tom asked.

“A proper briefing.” She said. “I’m sick of having to sneak around you, so we’re all going to sit down, talk out protocols and…”

“I’m not coming.” I said.

“What?” Tamara looked confused for some reason. “Why?”

“Because I don’t need this in my life right now.” I said. “Dealing with Mom is bad enough, I don’t need all…” my arms waved around. “Whatever you are.”

“What about if we find where your mom went?” Jonny asked.

I crossed my hand on my chest. “Don’t you know already?” I asked.

“She isn’t the easiest person to track.” He said. “Especially if she doesn’t want to be tracked.”

“Here’s the deal.” Shelly said. “We come. You tell Hanna everything you know about her mom and where she is. Then maybe we talk about facilitating your creepy stalking whatever it is you do.” She looked at all of them. “Deal?”

“Deal.” Tamara said before the other two could say anything.

“Then we’re done.” Shelly hooked her arm on mine. “Good day.” She said and pulled me away.

We made it right out of earshot and line of sight when we just started giggling hysterically. “What were you thinking?” I managed to ask between giggles, trying to get a hold of myself.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

“I don’t know.” She said in between giggles.

It took us another minute to get a hold of ourselves. “I can’t believe you just made that call for me.” I said.

“Would you have?” She asked. I wasn’t sure if she was asking if I would do the same for her or if I would do that if she didn’t. So, I just made a face. “Don’t give me that.” She said. “This way we at least get some idea what’s going on with your mom.”

“My mom,” I said. “Mine. It should be…”

“Hanna,” she interrupted me. “Who took me to get my ears pierced? Who scared the pharmacist to death to get me anti-pregnancy pills to help me regulate my period?” She crossed her arms. “It sure wasn’t my mom. So yes, she might be your mom, but she’s a part of my life just the same, ok?”

“Ok.” I said. I scratched the back of my head. I was being a bit of an asshole about all this. It wasn’t the easiest thing to deal with to begin with, so I keep making this about just me, when it isn’t. I bit my lip and nodded. “Sorry.”

“Apology accepted.” She said and hugged me. “Want to show me how sorry you are?”

“Shelly…” I broke off from her. “Really?” She shrugged. “Wait,” my mind went in another direction. “Did Jonny actually call me the class's fap fodder?”

“I think he was talking about me.” She said with a smile and looked me up and down. “No, sorry, that was definitely you. Have you looked in the mirror recently, girl? You’re hot.” And I was blushing again.

“No,” I said. “I’m not.” Shelly rolled her eyes and walked me back to class just before the bell rang. The rest of the day might as well have happened to someone else, because I wasn’t there. My body might have been, but I wasn’t. I didn’t even notice that classes were done until Shelly came and pulled me up.

“Time to go home.” She said.

“You aren’t going to leave me alone, ha?” I asked as I grabbed my stuff and left the classroom.

“Not until things will sort out a bit.” She said. We walked home together, not really talking about anything. At some point, I wrapped my hand around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder. “You keep acting like this,” she said. “People will get ideas.”

“You really think anyone thinks you’re my girlfriend?” I asked.

There was an awkward silence. “Ah…” Shelly begun. “I might have been fanning that rummer a teensy bit.”

I broke off from her and came to block her way. “You did what!?” I cried.

“People were already sort of saying that.” She said, trying to look innocent. “So, I might have said things to people that didn’t confirm but highly insinuated…”

“Why would you do that?” I asked.

“Ah…” She looked awkward and red and guilty. “You know boys are not exactly blind and…” She took a deep breath. “I was afraid you might hit off with one of them, and then we won’t hang out as much… and I kind of can’t stand the idea of you kissing some guy.” Rather than kissing her, was the part she didn’t say.

“So, you basically told everyone I’m gay?” I asked. “Behind my back.” The fact that it meant she outed herself to about half the class, despite not telling her parents, did not click with me at that moment. Later, I’ll feel like an asshole.

“You’re saying that like it’s something wrong!” She yelled back at me.

“For you, there’s nothing wrong with it. You’re gay!” I yelled. “I’m not!”

“Keep telling yourself that,” she said, almost crying. “Maybe it’ll come true.”

“Why can’t you accept that I love you in other ways?” I asked.

“Because that’s the way I love you!” She cried, there were tears running down her cheeks.

“Shelly…” I really didn’t know what to say. I was upset and angry, and I wanted to hug her, and probably also punch her, and I really didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with this right now. So, I ran, leaving her behind. I didn’t really stop until I could see our house, and then I slowed down to a walk as I came up the driveway. Dad was standing, shirtless, at the front of the house with a nail gun and a pile of lumber, patching up the big hole in the side of the living room. The bodies were gone. I don’t know what he did with them, and I didn’t want to ask.

“Hay baby girl,” he said as he noticed me coming. “How was school?” Then he looked at me. “Not great, ha?”

“Dad,” I sat down on the ground in front of him, hugging my legs. “Between yesterday and now, someone broke into our house and threatened to kill me; I found out Mom’s an alien super soldier; our house got trashed; it turns out that the creepy kids in the class are actually alien spies keeping an eye on me…” I took a deep breath. “And my best friend was going around behind my back telling stories about me so boys would keep away from me.” I teared up on that.

Dad put down the nail gun and came to sit next to me. I laid my head on his shoulder, and he put his hand on my shoulder. He was a bit sweaty, but I didn’t mind. “You know,” he said. “I’m sort of happy Shelly drove away all the boys. Speared me from having the Shovel Talk with any of them.”

I lifted my head. “Dad!” I knew he was trying to diffuse with levity, but it wasn’t funny.

“Imagine what your mom will do to them if they’d break your heart.” He said. Two days ago, that would have been a joke. I’d say Mom would give them a talking or something. After yesterday, maybe they’d also end up under a boulder in the woods.

“That’s not funny.” I said and laid my head on his shoulder again.

“You’ll make up with Shelly.” He said. “Whatever she did, she did because she cares about you.”

“That’s sort of the problem.” I said and sniffled. As I said that, I was also beginning to realize what all of that meant for Shelly, and I wasn’t feeling so great about how I responded.

Dad shrugged. “We often hurt the people we love the most.” He said. “I’m not going to tell you how to feel. But you know Shelly since kindergarten, and separating you two requires industrial equipment.” I half smiled at that. “Give it a while, then talk to her.” He looked down the path. “Or a minute.”

“What?” I asked and turned my head. Shelly was slowly making her way up the driveway.

“Hey.” She said when she got to us, stopping a short distance away.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” I said, not looking at her. Dad looked very awkward and not sure if he’s supposed to be there. But he stayed sitting with me.

“So… I got some things to say.” She also wasn’t looking at me. “I’m sorry.” She said. “It was stupid, and selfish, and stupid, and I shouldn’t have done it.” I was looking at her through the corner of my eye. She wasn’t sure where to put her hands and kept chewing her lip. “I’m sorry.” She said again. “I don’t know why I kept doing that… I sort of like the idea people would think we’re together and…” She lost her trail of thought. “I’m just sorry, okay?”

“No.” I said, looking at her feet. “It’s not okay…” I sighed. “Could you sit down?” She did, nudging herself next to us between the piles of wood. I looked at her general direction. “I’m sorry I overreacted.” I took a deep breath. “And I’m sorry I made you feel like I…” I stopped and tried to rearrange the words in my head.

“It’s fine.” She said.

“I’m still angry.” I said.

“Do you want me to go?” She asked.

“I don’t know.” I said.

Dad got up. “I’ve been out here for a while.” He said. “And I need a drink. You girls want anything?”

“Rum.” Shelly said. I half giggled at that.

“No.” He said on the spot. “Anything age-appropriate? Or that we might have in the house?” Mom and Dad didn’t drink, not in the house anyway.

“I could use some water.” I said.

“One pitcher of water coming up.” He said and stepped into the house.

“You want me to go with you to Tamara?” She asked.

“Could I stop you?” I asked.

“If you say you don’t want me there.” She said. “I won’t go.”

“I don’t want to go there alone.” I said.

“You want to yell at me a bit more first?” She asked with half a smile. “It might help.”

“You’re so stupid sometimes.” I said and hugged her.

“I never actually told anyone you’re my girlfriend.” She said, hugging me back. “Just said things that will make them come to that conclusion.”

“It was still an asshole thing to do.” I said. Pulling back.

“I know.” She said, suppressing a sniffle with her hand. “You want me to clear it up tomorrow?” She asked. “If you want, I’ll stand in front of the entire class and tell them.”

I wiped a tear off her cheek. “Please don’t.” I said. “But thank you for offering.”

“I’m sorry.” She said.

I grabbed the back of her head and brought our foreheads to touch. “I’m still going to be upset for a while.” I said.

“But?” She asked.

“You’re still my best friend,” I said and pulled back. “Even if you’re a selfish idiot, that should have known better sometimes.” We both smiled at each other.

“Is it safe to come out now?” Dad called from the kitchen.

“In a moment,” Shelly called. “We’re making out.”

“Asshole.” I elbowed her, and we both giggled as Dad came out with some water. He was wearing a shirt now.

“Sorry,” he said as he let down the tray with the glasses and pitcher. “My hands were busy. Otherwise, I’d bring the camera.”

“Dad!” I cried at him. Sometimes he’s such a dad, it’s annoying.

After that, we helped Dad with the wall. It looked like crap, but at least there wasn’t a hole in the front of the house. “Once your mom’s back,” Dad said, like she was just out shopping or something. “We’ll figure out how we want to go about properly fixing it.”

“Sure Dad.” I said. “When she’s back.”

I hate lying to Dad. But I did when we left for Tamara. Technically, I didn’t lie to him, Shelly did, I just didn’t tell the truth. I think he’d insisted on coming with if I told him where we were going, and I just didn’t want to deal with that. Also, he had to go pick up Grandma. I didn’t really want to deal with any of this. What I really wanted was to crawl into my bed, ignore the world until Mom got back, then yell at her for two hours straight, and then sleep for a week.

But rather than doing something sensible like that, I was knocking on the door of Tamara’s house. She actually invited me over multiple times, but I never came. I was always afraid I’d find some creepy stalker shrine with photos of me or something. Might still find something like that; who knows how much of what they told me was true? Maybe she was actually working with the people that came into our house yesterday? I really didn’t want to spin further into that. I grabbed Shelly’s hand, we exchanged smiles. So what we have is not romantic, as much as she’d like it to be, but we are still there for each other.

Tamara opened the door. “Ho,” she said. “You actually came.” Almost like she was surprised I did that. “Come in.” We did. Her house was arranged more or less like ours. The entire street was just a copy-paste of the same design. But the inside was a bit different, with lots of earth tones. There were a lot of shelves, some with books, but most of them with small sculptures. Jonny and Tom were sitting on two low sofas in the living room, and a screen was erected next to the stairs. “Told you she’d come.” She said.

“Your parents around?” I asked.

“My colleagues are out trying to track your mom.” She said, almost dismissively. “I don’t know when they’ll come back.”

“Colleagues…” I said. “Right.” I met Tamara’s parents; they were old, while she looked my age.

“Sit.” She shepherded me to the sofa in front of the screen and went to turn off the light. She was way too enthusiastic about this. A projector turned on somewhere, although I didn’t see one when we came in and lit the screen. “I made a presentation.”

“A presentation?” I was really trying to take this in stride.

“Let her,” Tom said. “She’s been working at it since you said you’d come.” I nodded. I had no idea how that actually worked, she was in class with me for the rest of the day, and there wasn’t that much time since we left school.

“Sure.” I said. Definitely not sure about any of this.

The first slide came on. It had Mom in uniform that looked like none I’d ever seen. There was some information next to that. But it was entirely useless. Place of birth – unknown. Name at birth – unknown. Age – five thousand years (speculated). I was holding myself from laughing. But I had a stupid smile as I looked at Tom, who rolled his eyes, then Jonny, who shrugged, and then Tamara, who looked a bit dismayed. “I know,” she said. “It looks stupid. But that’s from the actual file we have on her, we just don’t know a lot about who she is.” She put on the next slide, it was still the photo of Mom, but with different statistics. Kill count, which was given in scientific notation. Rank, which told me nothing. Some other stuff that told me less than nothing. She was apparently in a committed relationship with two people who weren’t Dad. “We know more about what she did and where she was.” She flipped another slide; there was a nice transition animation, and a list of names, of what I assumed were places, began to scroll down.

Whatever that was about, Tamara didn’t get to say because there was a knock on the door. We all looked at each other. “You expecting anyone else?” I asked.

Tamara shook her head and went towards the door. She suddenly had a gun in her hand, a crazy-looking alien gun. Jonny also moved towards the door, taking position in an angle anyone entering would not be able to see. He also, suddenly, had a weird-looking gun in his hand. Tom, somewhat to my surprise, moved to be in the way between the us and door. Shelly grabbed on me.

Tamara opened the door, her gun hidden behind her, only a crack, then, startled, moved back, her gun vanishing from her hand. “Hi, Pratima,” I could hear Mom’s voice. “Is my daughter there?” I could not see Tom’s face, but Jonny was clearly terrified, slowly putting down his gun and stepping backward, although Mom couldn’t see him. Mom opened the door and came in, not waiting for an invitation. She was still dressed like she was when she left. Combat boots, cargo pants, tank top, denim jacket. The pants and jacket were a bit dirtier, but nothing more than that. Tamara stepped back, slowly. “What are you all doing?” Mom asked. Another step in, she could see the screen. “Ho, good!” She walked over, bypassing Tom, and came to sit next to me and Shelly. “That’s going to save me some explanations. Who’s presenting?”

No one was talking for a moment. “Tamara.” Shelly finally managed to say.

“Makes sense,” Mom leaned back, like we were all there to watch a movie. “Pratima, you want to continue?” She asked. “I’ll correct you when you’ll get something wrong.”

I looked at Tamara. She looked like a small animal in the middle of the road, in front of a car with high beams hurling towards it. “Mom,” I said, putting my hand on hers. “Maybe we should go home?”

“You sure you don’t want to hear their version?” She asked.

“We can do that some other time.” I said. “I think Dad’s worried about you.” I stood up. Shelly remained seated. “Let’s go.”

Mom stood up. “You’re right.” She said. “And in any case, Pratima needs to spell-check the presentation.” Tamara still looked like she was caught in the high beams.

“I’m going to stay.” Shelly said. “I’ll swing by…”

“Tomorrow.” I said. “After school.” Shelly gave me a look, I gave her one back. I know what she was trying to say with hers, I was trying to reply with mine. We had a few of those back-and-forth.

“Fine.” Shelly eventually said. I nodded and walked out with Mom.

She and I walked home quietly. It was not a long walk, but it sure felt like it was. I had so many questions and things I wanted to say. But I wanted to be home first and not where the entire neighborhood would hear me.

The woman next to me didn’t walk like Mom did, but maybe it was just the fact she wasn’t in the high heels Mom always wore. But there was something else, a bit of a swagger that wasn’t there. It wasn’t the confidence, Mom always oozed confidence. It was more aggressiveness - this woman would kill, and she radiated it. I didn’t feel at ease next to her… I wanted my mom back.

She didn’t comment on the patch at the front of the house, and just went straight to the door. As we came in, Dad noticed us and stood up. He was sitting in the still-gutted living room. “Am.” He said.

“Hi,” Mom said. Something in her voice sounded softer than how it sounded in Tamara’s. “You fixed the wall.”

“I didn’t like the breeze.” Dad said. He had an odd smile on his face. “I think we’ll need to renovate most of the bottom floor.”

“Can we just… move?” Mom asked, she sounded like herself now. “I hate dealing with contractors, and you know I’ll be the one stuck with dealing with them day-to-day.”

“We’ll figure something out.” Dad reached out to Mom’s cheek, then they kissed for a moment. “My mom is upstairs; she was a bit exhausted, so she’s taking a nap. To be frank, I’m also a bit exhausted. How about take-out tonight?”

“Dumplings?” Mom asked, Dad made a face.

“You know they don’t deliver.” Mom made a head gesture toward me, and Dad raised an eyebrow. I didn’t see what Mom’s facial response was, but he rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he said, exasperated. “The usual?”

“That would be great.” Mom said, Dad nodded and headed towards the door.

“I’ll be back in a…” He started. “When I’ll be back, I hope they aren’t busy tonight.” He went out.

I waited a moment. “Cowered.” I said.

Mom turned to me. “No.” She said, the softness leaving her voice. “He isn’t, and you won’t call him that.”

I crossed my arms on my chest. “He didn’t say anything.” I said. “He’s acting like nothing happened.”

“He’s acting like a parent in an overwhelming situation trying to be strong for his child.” Mom said.

“I can…” I started.

“I need to change.” Mom said and began to walk up the stairs, then stopped. “You coming?” I nodded and followed her up; we both kept quiet in the hallway so as not to wake Grandma up and then into their bedroom. Mom began undressing already in the hallway. She was naked by the time she made it to the door of their ensuite bathroom, dumping her clothes in the laundry bin, and walked into the shower. I remained at the door to the bathroom. “You criticized your dad for not saying anything.” Mom said and turned on the water. “You want to say something? Or is it just the silent treatment?”

“I…” I began. Seeing Mom naked under the water was very distracting, so I turned to the side. I was not even sure where to start. “Are you really five thousand years old?” I asked.

Mom laughed. “I don’t know.” She said. “How do you count that? Since I was born? How many years I lived? How many years I experienced?” All of those sounded the same to me. “I’m probably more and less than that at the same time.”

“I don’t understand.” I admitted.

Mom turned off the water and came out, her skin glistening. I was happy Shelly wasn’t here – her jaw would have gone through the floor. She got the towel and began to dry, but not cover, herself. “A lot of things about me are a bit complicated.” She said. “Maybe you should have stayed for the briefing. Pratima could have probably explained more of this in ways that you’d understand better.”

“Why do you call her like that?” I asked.

Mom shrugged and came out of the bathroom. “Because that’s her name,” She said. “Pratima Gratia.”

“Ah…” I didn’t even consider that Tamara was not her real name. Mom was beginning to get dressed, and I sat on their bed. “Will I ever understand all of this?”

Mom shrugged as she looked for a dress. “Do you really need to?” She asked.

“Don’t I?” I asked.

“You’ll never need to deal with any of that.” Mom said.

“I just had to deal with it yesterday!” I erupted.

“And hopefully, it will be the last time.” She said.

“Mom,” I took a breath. “If that man wouldn’t have tried to kill me, would you have told me any of this?”

“No.” She said, pulling out a dress, a short flowery one. That and her lace underwear were all she’d wear. No bra, no pantihose, no shirt. Things just set on her perfectly, and she never cared if anyone saw anything. She didn’t care about exposing herself physically, but apparently, telling me things about herself was too much.

“Mom,” I leaned forward, supporting my head on my hand with my elbows on my knees. “Why are you here?”

Mom stopped midway through sorting her dress and looked at me. “That is very philosophical.” She said.

“Here,” I said. “On this planet, in this house.” I got off my hand and waved them as I spoke. “You’re like this super important person up there, so important there are three people in my school to spy on me just because…”

“Five.” Mom said.

“What?” I lost my train of thought.

“There are five people in your school.” Mom said. “There is also your history teacher and the nurse.”

“Great…” I mumbled. “So five people are spying on me. Tom and Jonny said you’re going to be Queen of Space or something… So why are you here? Why did you have me?” I took a deep breath. “What am I for?”

Mom ignored me for a moment, looking at the mirror and straightening her dress. No makeup, nothing with her hair – and she looked great. I needed half an hour just to look presentable. “You’re not for anything.” She eventually said. “I made you because I wanted to have you.”

“You just made sure I wasn’t special.” I said, trying to look defiant.

Mom came over and sat next to me. “Because I made it so you won’t have powers?” She asked. I nodded. "Hanna, dear, why would you ever need powers? Are you going to be fighting evil by moonlight?” I opened my mouth and closed it. I didn’t really think about that.

“Are you never going back there?” I asked.

Mom laughed. “Honey,” she said. “I never left.” As Mom was sitting next to me, another her just stood up from her, walked around me, and sat on the other side of me. I turned my head back and forth. There were two of her, and then one of them waved her hand and vanished. “It’s hard for this version of me to do that for long.” She said.

“So you’re…” I wasn’t even sure what I was talking about.

“I’m here,” she said. “And I’m there.” She shrugged with one shoulder. “It’s just who I am.” Her comment about time experienced began to make more sense now, it’s just that nothing else made sense anymore.

“Until you won’t be.” I said.

“That’s still a few years in the future.” She said. “I haven’t decided when.”

My mind went back. “This is your vacation?” I wasn’t sure if I was saying or asking. “Playing house, having a family…” She didn’t contradict me, and the realization was sending shivers down my spine. “Is it just a game for you?”

Mom looked straight at me, not blinking, not flinching at the accusation. “Yes.” She said, point blank. For a moment there, I couldn’t breathe.

“Does Dad know?” I asked. There were so many other questions I had, but somehow, that was the only one that made it out of my mouth.

Mom shrugged. “I told him when I picked him up.” Dad liked to tell how Mom made the first move —that she told him straight up they were going to move together and have a girl. That part he never told. “I don’t think he fully processed it.”

I bit my lower lip. “Did you ever going to tell me that?” I asked.

“I just did.” She said.

“And if I wouldn’t have asked?” The emotions were bubbling in me, and I had no idea how I was feeling, but I was definitely feeling.

Mom shrugged again and got up. “Let’s go set the table.” She said.

“I don’t want to set the table!” I yelled as I stood up. “I want to…”

“You want to mean something?” Mom asked. There was something insulting in her tone.

“Yes!” I cried.

“Then you’re a fool.” Mom said and began to walk out of the bedroom, me behind her. She didn’t say anything until we got to the kitchen. She began to set a table on the island. “Hanna,” Mom said. “My greatest gift to you is to be nothing.” I blinked at that. I just stood there, staring at her as she put out plates and utensils. “You have no idea the heartache, the pain, and the misery you’re speared of… and I would rather that you don’t know.” I managed to get myself to sit down, back on the chair where the man set me down, and put a knife to my throat. “You will live a peaceful life of reasonable comfort. You will not have to fight unless you choose to. You will not have to kill, unless you choose to.” She brought up a water carafe out of the fridge and put it on the table. “Life that I will never have and have never known.” She looked me straight in the eye. “And I don’t care if you resent me for that.”

Mom sat down on the other side of the island. I was not sure what to say to that, I just looked at my hands. Eventually, Dad came back, and Shelly showed up, and Grandma came down, and we all had dinner together. Mom and Dad were talking as if things were normal.

Things were not normal.

But I was meant to be.