Eve floated around the firetrap of the Daedric Doorway in a circle taking a glance at each of the projects going on while chatting with Iantha. It was a temporary reprieve from the boredom of power-leveling, but that was all. She had never expected gaining the power to be so utterly mind-numbing boring. Perhaps this was why all those crazy cultivator stories had them meditating for centuries at a time. It was to stave off the madness of boredom!
“Is there something, in particular, you want us to do?” Iantha asked as Eve rotated around like a humanoid planet around its star.
“I suppose it would be nice to build a flying base.” Eve thought out loud. She actually wanted a weapon from that space movie, the one that looked like a giant moon.
Minus the installed flaw of course. Eve thought. It hadn’t made sense for years, and the attempt to fix it made even less sense. Who doesn’t invest in fact-checking on their multi-zillion credit weapon of doomsday?
“That shouldn’t be too hard.” Meyun said while studying the runic plates he had started to craft recently. “We’ll need it to be able to use ambient mana, and a back-up system for times without mana.”
Eve nodded, “I’m not good with non-biological technical stuff. My dad was always a bit bummed I didn’t get the ‘Mechanic’s Touch’ as he called it. Mother was thrilled though that there was one less person tracking grease all over the house, so it balanced out in the end.”
Meyun glanced at her and Eve teasingly shifted into a barely clothed drop dead gorgeous ‘goddess’ form. Iantha rolled her eyes and said, “Please stop attempting to turn my boyfriend into a drooling idiot. Again. He does that enough already around me.” Eve shifted back to her normal silver witch form with a grin that Iantha shared. Both women watched Meyun shake his head to clear it before pointing at Eve to say, “Your evil, pure evil.”
Eve gasped and said, “Oh no! You’ve figured it out. Now I have to silence you all!” After a few seconds she added, “Unless you disclose the choclate cookie recipe from your grandmother, Meyun…”
Meyun said, “Never, that recipe has been in my family over twenty-three generations. Only those pure of heart can attain it.”
“As a doctor I can tell you might have slight issues restinglike normal people do.” Mishka said while cutting a precise Y-incision on her current ‘fake’ cadaver. “Isn’t there anything you can do besides float around and torture Meyun with your looks while simultaneously asking for new cooking recipes?”
Eve sighed, “Not really. I’m stuck here until Tier Seven if at all possible. Without that last Tier, I’m still an ant around here.”
“Big ant.” Bennie said while reading from a book on her cushioned comfort chair that promoted laziness.
“But still an ant. The lord of the dungeon city snuffed out your starship super beam just by making clenching a fist.” Eve said firmly finger gunning the chaplain with small shots of arrow shaped Witch’s Dust. “Tell me you aren’t impressed.” The chaplain surrendered with a graceful shrug and went back to her book. The item was loaned from Nota and dealt with the Major and Minor Deities of the Prison Plane. Bennie apparently wanted to find one she liked to boost her power.
Felix flickered into existence by Eve’s side and suggested, “You could always go Dungeon diving. I can seamlessly link with this space, now. Negotiations with Red took a small amount of time to complete, however we are finished now. It should allow experience to continue being drawn into your body.”
“Red?” Eve asked curious. She was almost certain Felix was talking about the dungeon they were within.
“Blue and Red are our codenames.” Felix said.
Should I tell my favorite Core about the tragic tales of the two colors? Eve thought before deciding it was best not to open that particular branded can of insanity. A quick twist of will buried the season’s she had watched deep in a part of the Eternal Memory that held wall to wall National Geographic films. A quick change of the memory shells made them blend in with all the rest. Should be safe enough there, for now.
“So, I would continue gaining experience while exploring the Dungeon?” Eve asked excitedly as she turned her attention back to Felix.
“Affirmative.” Felix said before continuing, “You would also be able to check on the Shillington heir.”
“Yeah, he’d make a good ‘face’ for the future.” Eve thought out loud.
“What is the future by the way?” Iantha asked.
“Can’t you just peek ahead and find out?” Eve said poking at the possible future Seer.
“I can, but it gives me a headache since your invisible in the time planes.” Iantha grumbled. “Be more visible imp!”
“Not my fault!” Eve said as she made another rotation around the firetrap, “Blame the eldritch entity that wraps the entire Prison Plane keeping everything inside contained! Dust is at fault, not me!”
Iantha shuddered and said, “When I looked up in the time planes, a giant silver eye winked at me, was that Dust?”
“Yeah, probably. He knows my brother well enough not to be completely afraid of him, which is really disturbing on several levels to me.” Eve said before continuing, “I’m also almost one hundred percent sure that what is visible around the Prison Plane is merely a fraction of his real body. I can hide my Witch’s Dust in the space between spaces, I would be super surprised if he couldn’t do something even more amazing.”
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“Oh, goody. We are trapped on a world in the stomach of an eldritch abomination.” Mishka said as she continued to dissect the current ‘fake’ corpse. Eve had made the corpses as real as possible, minus the smell.
“Sort of. Don’t let it get to you, people have escaped before, just like I plan, too.” Eve said. She left out that most of them used the type of schemes that would make super villains proud to get out.
“Wait, you can escape the Prison Plane?” Bennie asked with a raised eyebrow. “Then why are we still here?”
“It’s a prison, the name itself implies the possibility of escape. Also there are tons of recorded escapees, who the System can list for a small price. They were all Tier Seven though, so that would be the number one reason why we are still here. The second is that Kudzu is looking for methods to extend the lifespan of people in my family, as well as boost their Tiers quickly.” Eve said before looking at the group askance, “You didn’t think I was going to stay here for eternity…did you?”
Meyun cleared his throat and said, “Absolutely not. I never lost faith in you for a moment.”
Eve beamed a brilliant smile at him before her expression fell as Meyun said, “You’re too evil to be contained by a mere eldritch abomination.”
Eve swooped down to Iantha to hug her and cry on her shoulder while saying, “Iantha, he’s being a meanie!”
Mishka and Bennie both grinned at the poor man as Iantha shot him a glare before patting Eve on the back and saying, “Don’t worry, I’m sure killing things in the Dungeon will help you recover.”
Eve snapped out of her fake crying to say, “Wooo! To the Dungeon! We can raise your Classes there, too.”
Suddenly she found herself the focus of five intense stares.
“Uh, did I forget to mention that, that Felix’s dungeon gives experience?” Eve said even as she mentally requested Felix to create a Dungeon portal to enter. She didn’t like the dead fish eyes everyone was giving her. The portal formed right as Iantha said with gritted teeth, “Yes, you didforget Eve.”
“Ha, hah, everyone’s eyes are so scary.” Eve said before turning and leaping toward the portal with inhuman grace. She almost made it before a flying tackle from Bennie of all people caused her to fall inches short of escape. The chaplain managed to grab her ankle preventing Eve from entering the portal.
“I’ve got her!” Bennie said with a grim tone as Eve wilted under the glare of the starship crew. Moments later she was bundled with wire rope from Meyun’s spare part section as the five stood around her with gleeful expressions.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have had Kudzu flavor their rations so often out of boredom. Eve thought.
“For a person with a perfect memory, she forgets crucial information.” Meyun said shaking his head with a deeply sad expression.
“Crucial information for other people. Don’t forget that she remembered all the food recipes she liked instantly when you cooked for us, Meyun.” Mishka said with a cold expression.
“Lucky for us I held a few of the recipes back to negotiate with.” Meyun said glancing at Bennie.
“Indeed, the best way to get something from our savior is with food.” Bennie said with an affirming nod. “She’s clearly a foodie.”
Iantha took a chair and sat down in front of the tied up Eve, while a light floated up behind her courtesy of Mishka. As the light cast Iantha into shadow she said in a deep voice, “Vee haf vays of unt mayking u tawk.”
“Eeeeep!” Eve said enjoying the roleplay. It was a break from the boredom. It wasn’t like she couldn’t snap the wires around her with a thought, though.
“Herr Doctor,” Iantha said gesturing to Mishka, “Vil git zee information vee require frum yew fraulein”
Mishka rolled a table over, exposing a plethora of sharp instruments. She fussily started to clean them while looking at Eve as if examining a new specimen.
“I’ll talk! I’ll talk!” Eve said in a cowardly broken tone. “Just don’t peel my skin, rip out my eyes, or chop my fingers and toes off.”
“Vurri guud.” Iantha said with an evil smile.
Several hours later Eve had explained a great deal about Classes, Tiers, and Experience in general. In exchange, she got the current classes of each person locked down. Mishka with no surprise had chosen Healer. Bennie chose Priestess, but was still on the fence about which deity to pick. Iantha with no surprise went for Prophet, while her boyfriend Meyun chose Mechanic. Helsted to absolutely no surprise chose Assassin.
Eve made a note to introduce Jeffery T. Wellington and Meyun. It probably wouldn’t result in the destruction of the world.
Probably. Perhaps she might delay that meeting for a time, instead.
Eve paired Mishka with Lily since one was a natural, and would be able to easily explain things. Both of them would do well under Kudzu’s guidance. Lily especially would get a great deal of training from Mishka’s knowledge of anatomy alone.
Iantha’s path isn’t something I can help but Bennie on the other hand is. Eve thought. I need a high priestess to handle the simple stuff with Sarah still on Tal Mor.
“Bennie, want to be my High Priestess? It’s got lots and lots of awesome bonuses.” Eve said after the interrogation role play was over. She’d escaped the wire by using Spatial Step.
“What’s the core philosophy of your religion?” Bennie said with a raised eyebrow.
“No clue, you can make it up!” Eve said shamelessly.
“You want me to make an entire religion up for you?” Bennie said as everyone moved to enter the Dungeon portal.
“Absolutely. If I can’t trust my High Priestess to do something like that, who can I trust?!” Eve said with tearful begging puppy dog eyes.
“Ugh. Puppy eyes.” Bennie said looking away as they prepared to enter the portal.
“They’re lethal.” Iantha nodded, proud not to be the target.
“Oh! She’s activating the quivering lip!” Mishka crowed.
“Guh!” Bennie said, pretending to take a fatal blow to the heart. “Fine!”
Eve cheered before instantly saying, “No takebacks! Divine punishment for betrayers!”
“Iantha, am I doomed?” Bennie said seriously as everyone entered the Dungeon.
“For certainty. You’ll be forced to do heinous things like steering a wild Silver Witch on the path of righteousness, justice, and truth.” Iantha said with a straight face as she looked around the small cave they had appeared in.
“Shoot me now.” Bennie said in a dead voice. “Make sure to salt my grave too, so I can’t resurrect as undead later.”
“Just think of the tax-free income.” Meyun said with a snarky smile. It figured out of all of them, he’d read the tax code first from Nota’s library.
“Oh?” Bennie said with a glint in her eyes, “Eve is my income tax free?”
“Uh…” Eve said for a moment as Nota brought up the tax code for her to skim quickly. “Yes, the high priest or priestess of a Deity doesn’t pay taxes!” Eve’s eyes dimmed as she said, “But I still have to pay them. What a rip off!”
Bennie grasped Eve’s shoulders and said, “I will be honored to serve as a High Priestess for such a fabulous deity!”
Eve looked at her with teary eyes and pointed at Bennie before looking at Meyun to say, “There, that’s true evil for you! See the face of a cruel priestess that only desires to cheat her beloved deity of money!”
Bennie nodded sagely and said, “Blessed be.”
Meyun rolled his eyes before saying, “Please, merely associating with Bennie will make you less evil. Probably.”
Eve said, “So, everyone be ready. Once we leave this safe room anything goes.”
“What should we expect?” Iantha asked drawing the shortsword and buckler Meyun had forged for her from the spatial bag Eve had made for each of the crew while bored.
Everyone had a weapon from a staff, dagger, sword, or club. Eve had spent a short stint enchanting all the weapons with two basic runes, Return and Grip. Any weapon thrown would return to the user’s hand, and they couldn’t be disarmed.
“Goblins.” Eve said moving to the front. “It’s always goblins to start.” Her Jian formed from Witch's Dust as she moved into the exit tunnel with a bloodthirsty grin.