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Lorcan Winslow's Guide to Being A Star
Chapter 2 ⊱⭐Nightmares Past and Present⭐⊱

Chapter 2 ⊱⭐Nightmares Past and Present⭐⊱

The trees in the copse above them sang in the wind, leaves casting strange warped shadows over them.

“Death,” Lorcan repeated under his breath. “Not one of his puppets, but Death, himself, huh? Well, isn’t someone special—”

“What does he look like?” Casper cut in on a whisper, shoving his grimy palm into Lorcan’s face.

Rude! Also, ew.

Alejandra’s arms were wrapped tight around herself and she stared down at the ground. Fia put a hand on her shoulder and Alejandra reached up to grip her warm fingers. “It wasn’t him. It wasn’t- wasn’t Death. It was Edmund in the costume. Black bandages, obsidian robes, ebony horns, claws, the whole bit. But . . . it wasn’t Edmund. He seemed frightened. He couldn’t seem to control what he was doing any more than I could. We had to perform the play, word for word. Act for act. Until we came to the climax.”

They all sat in a circle now, Alejandra at the head, as if telling scary stories around an invisible fire in the light of day. Lorcan had succeeded in ripping Casper’s paw from his mouth, but now he was white knuckling it like a stress ball, dread sinking into his stomach.

“The Childe of Light- me- I had just saved the soul of my lover and stood before Death, sword drawn to kill him. The twelve Stars stood around us, raising blindingly bright walls to keep Death from escaping, but ended up trapping me, too! They, the Stars, were faceless. They weren’t our troupe members or the actual Stars themselves. Super creepy! But Death . . . right before I raised my sword according to the script and announced his impending doom, Edmund’s face turned completely white. At first . . . at first, I thought it was because the Dream would have me kill him, just like the play. But then I realized, it’s because the Dream had written a new ending.”

“A . . . new ending?” Fia was horrified.

Alejandra nodded. “You see, we shared this Dreamscape because of Edmund’s jealousy over my role. And so . . . the Dream wrote that into the script. Right as I raised my sword, Death regained his strength and grabbed my arms, squeezing until I was forced to drop the blade. He ripped the crown and jewels from my head and pushed me down so he could remove my cloak as well. Edmund kept mouthing ‘I’m so sorry.’ He had tears on his cheeks. I was so absolutely embarrassed, because apparently the Dream script wanted me to scream and thrash around like a maiden losing her virtue, but Death just stopped at my cloak.”

“This was not the tea I signed up for, just for the record,” Eliezar piped in, before getting flicked in the forehead by an irate Casper.

“Ow! This is awful, is what I was saying!”

“A Nightmare, not a Dream,” Lorcan added, voice low.

“My first, but I guess it makes sense,” Alejandra acknowledged, “since Edmund’s never pretended to like me. It didn’t end there, though. Death put on my, er, the Childe of Light’s crown, draped the jewels in his hair, threw off his cloak to don her’s instead, and then slid on her golden armor. It . . . was sickening, it really was, because then he wrapped his robe over my shoulders and pinned me to the ground with his foot. He turned to the Stars and said, ‘Here she is, Death herself. My role as the Childe of Light has been fulfilled; come forward now, and seal her soul. Never again shall she have the power to spread her fear, to steal our children.’ I had all the Stars surround me, with Death dressed as the Childe of Light looming over me. I was helpless. The Stars didn’t know any better. ‘Death has come to an end,’ they cheered. ‘We are free, and so are our dead!’ I- I still couldn’t see their faces, but . . . I knew. I knew they were all going to kill me with a smile splitting their lips.”

It was silent for a moment, everyone envisioning the scene. The Star of Dreams drifted lazily above and Lorcan dimly wondered how she felt when patrons asked her to craft such horrifying Dreams.

It wasn’t like she got some kind of sadistic pleasure from it, right . . . ?

. . .

Right??!

Maybe Lorcan wasn’t as impatient for a Dream as he thought, if the thing kept him trapped in a Nightmare he couldn’t control . . .

“What happened next?” Eliezar asked, biting his lip. “You can’t just leave us there without any resolution.”

“I woke up,” Alejandra stated simply, and they all groaned. “Hey—! I didn’t get much in the way of resolution, either, but I’m just grateful I didn’t have to experience what it’s like to die in a Dream. Eurgh, it’d be awful, I bet. And I’m sure Edmund was relieved, too. But, UGH!!!! What am I supposed to do when I see him again??! It’ll be SO awkward.”

“More so for him,” Lorcan said off-handedly, still woefully stilted at offering comfort, to his intense chagrin. He stubbornly pushed through: “This kid had such an awful thing crafted but it obviously didn’t turn out the way he planned. Foolish; it’s a wonder he was ever casted at all, the way he acts under pressure.”

They all turned to look at him.

“What?” he asked harshly, miffed.

“Edmund didn’t have the Dream crafted, Lori, he was just obsessed with losing the role. His jealousy towards Ali ended up leading his soul into her Dreamscape,” Fia explained, walking two fingers up Ali’s knee like a tiny person scaling a cliff. She was using her uppity teacher’s pet voice. Ugh. “He wouldn’t have the resources or money, let alone the time, to contract any of Dream’s disciples and spin up an intricate Dream like this.”

Lorcan narrowed his eyes, arms crossing, feeling too incredulous to care that his face was twisting itself into an ugly scowl at the correction.

He hadn’t asked for it, let alone the condescension that came with it!

“Dreamscape hopping is nothing but a tall tale, Brommington. It’s frankly impossible to Dream without some sorta intervention from the Star of Dreams; I mean, it’s in her name, that’s her job. Just like we’d all be screwed without the Star of Luck, clueless without Intelligence, beaten down without Victory, bored without Muse. No way that brat’s soul- Edmund or whoever- actually up and left in the middle of the night to visit your sister all on his own. He’d have to be a Star himself to manage that.”

The lot of them decided that now was a great time to shut up and look at him, in just that way. Like he’d spilt blood in the water and they could smell it on him.

Speaking of being screwed without Luck: fortunately, Eli was just socially clueless enough that he battered through the awkwardness with a laugh.

“Pft, riiiiight, of course you’d be Dream spoiled, Winslow,” Eliezar joked, knocking his elbow into Lorcan’s. “Bet you’ve never found yourself wandering into someone’s Dreamscape by accident at night. Whenever you fancy a visit you can just finance it, full on pampered prince, every trapping and Dream catcher and potion you could dream up at your beck and call. Not to mention how often your name trades tongues on the daily. You’ve probably had several run ins already with rival students in your Dreams, right?”

It was Lorcan’s turn to stare at him blankly.

His complete lack of any reaction whatsoever only served to egg Eliezar on.

“I mean, come on, your tutor is that old fogy, Fogel, right? He’s got scads of past students who’ve made it big, and several who he gave up on to teach you full time before your first Assessment. Talk about the mother of all revenge plots, am I right? You probably thought they hired out to send you those Nightmares, but you forget,” Eli tsked and held up a finger. “When the Winslow family steals the rug beneath your feet, that means it’s the only possession worth taking!” he sang in a pompous drawl, swinging his finger around. Then he leaned closer with a conspiratory grin, “In other words, these alumni of yours are destitute, powerless little buggers. They simply haven’t got the gold for Lady Dream; Fogel was their only shot, unlike you. Any Dreams they send your way are completely fueled by their own hatred, nothing else.”

Lorcan blinked at Eli, furrowing his brow. What? “Vidal, are you writing a novel here? That, or you’re simply so delusional you can’t pick out reality from myth. I’ve certainly had no such visits of any kind, whether for revenge or any other reason. I told you, Dream hopping is a tall tale spread by liars with a god complex.”

Eliezar’s jaw had just about dropped to his chest. “I say— Lorcan, my mum Dream hops, you know this—”

“She’s Dream’s disciple, Vidal, of course she can—”

“So what, she’s got a god complex, now? Besides, Ali just told you that her very plebeian, completely Dull rival- who has the least Light in his class, his soul is basically coal, just so you know- visited her Dreamscape! You calling her a liar?? You think that somehow he convinced one of Dream’s disciples to craft a completely deranged and frankly blasphemous Dream about the Childe of Light herself getting trounced by Death while the Stars all stood around like idiots??”

“Er, guys, uh—”

They were both on their feet now, glaring at each other and gesticulating dramatically, like actors telegraphing every movement so their audience could catch all the varied emotions flying across the stage. Alejandra looked on, impressed despite herself, Fia seemed more confused at the sudden argument than anything, and Casper’s eyebrows were disappearing in his bangs, hand hiding his mouth.

“That’s exactly what I’m getting at! How in the ten heavens is this inelegant bastard with the Dullest soul in his class supposed to have the power needed to Dream when I’ve never— He, he probably, well there has to be some black market way to get your hands on . . .”

“Ha! What the sands, Lorcan, you’re acting like you’ve never had a Dream in your life! How can a brain sucker like you, who stakes all his pride on his smarts, be so stupid!?”

Lorcan spluttered, pale face completely red, dark eyes surrounded by twin flames that seemed to lick the edges of his irises, threatening to spring from his gaze and burn burn burn.

“What do you even want me to say, Eli?” he snarled, throwing out his hand, “I close my eyes; it’s dark. When I open them, the Sun is back up and my Dreamscape is closed- if it was ever open in the first place!”

Eliezar pursed his lips at him weirdly, about to yell something else just simply because it was his turn, but Fia interrupted. “Lorcan, have you never visited anyone else’s Dreamscape? Has no one . . . visited you? Ever??”

Glancing reflexively at Fia, Lorcan felt himself instantly deflating like the breast feathers of a ruffled raven smoothing back down, smooth and inky.

Lorcan cleared his throat, face suddenly burning for a completely different reason.

Stars, they weren’t supposed to know that.

No one was.

But now, to hear that Dreaming was possible if you hated hard enough, loved hard enough, cared deeply enough, obsessed long enough, well. How—? All this time he had thought that the Star of Dreams had simply forgotten about him! Or that maybe his soul was just lazy and liked staying safely tucked away inside his sleeping body night after night. But no! It turns out, everyone else knew a secret trick to kick-start a Dream and didn’t feel like telling him??

Lorcan felt pathetic, completely out of the loop!

Fia’s question echoed in his ears: “Has no one visited you?? No one?? Ever??’

You’ve never been worth more than a passing thought?

Closing his eyes before his mind could spiral any farther, Lorcan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Well, I suppose not, seeing as I didn’t know it was possible to Dream without a potion.”

They all gasped dramatically and Alejandra sat up on her heels.

“Lori, that’s it!!” she exclaimed.

Lorcan was very much not amused by her sudden good mood, and if history was anything to go by, this might end up with a few broken bones that’d take another painful session with the Repairer.

“That’s genius!!” Casper whooped, pumping a fist in the air. Apparently, they were all on the same page, though what book they’d taken it out of, Lorcan still had no clue. “Winslow, we know just how to get you connected to your mum the next two cycles!”

Well . . . That got his attention!

Eliezar banged a fist into his palm, already over their tiff and raring to go. “We just need to teach you how to Dream, that’s all! Skirt the purview of Her Ladyship’s watchful gaze and finagle a way for you and your mom to talk once she’s gone, just like my mom does with me!”

His golden irises caught a glint of light from the setting sun as a wicked smirk pulled his lips taunt. “We’ll make a Dream hopper out of you, yet, Lori! You already have the god complex to go along with it, Mr. Pampered Prince~ haha!”

Lorcan felt his neck sink down into his robes as they all scooted closer to him. He rather felt like he was surrounded by a frenzy of sharks, helpless as they bore down on him.

By the time they headed back to the manor, the sky was beginning to darken and the garden was awash with the lavender light of the Star of Dreams. Luck’s yellow glow was just barely visible, a golden haze in the deep horizon. Perhaps it meant good fortune was coming his way, which Lorcan was in dire need of.

“Ah, there you are!” Lady Brommington exclaimed as they entered the parlor. “Fia, Ali, we were just talking about you, my darlings— what in the ten heavens??!!”

“Now, mother, we can explain,” Alejandra cajoled, flapping her hands. “There was a rough patch in the garden and we may have all, er, slipped!, yes, slipped and landed in the mud . . . Yeah, that doesn’t sound too believable, sorry, ma.”

Lorcan really wanted to face palm himself so badly, but he was the least dirty of all of them, so he decided to attract the smallest amount of attention to himself as humanly possible.

“ALEJANDRA! FIA!! IN THE HALL, NOW! YOU WILL NOT DIRTY THIS CARPET, SO HELP ME LORD BROMMINGTON!!”

“aaaaAAAAARHG, MA!!!”

“Ow owowowowow!”

Grabbing both girls by the ears, Lady Brommington escorted both firmly into the hall, her heels clacking on the marble.

The boys were left standing in the middle of the parlor, dust and dried mud mussing their nice party clothes, scuffing their feet conspicuously, wishing the floor would swallow them whole.

Shooting a cursory glance at the birdcage where he’d last seen his Father standing, Lorcan sighed in relief. He wasn’t in the room.

Good, Lorcan had just escaped a grounding from knocking that vase into a constellation of shattered shards and he wasn’t about to push his Luck, even if his Star was rising!

“Well, well, well,” Lorcan’s mum snickered, covering her mouth with her hand. “Looks like we should have had the party out in the garden, we missed out on all the fun!”

“Casper,” his grandmother chided. “What is this mess? Lady Winslow, I extend my deepest apologies. Usually my boy isn’t like this.”

“I can’t say the same about mine,” Lord Vidal hummed over by the fireplace, twirling a glass of champaign. “But your Lord and Ladyship somehow keep extending the invitation, so I’ve assumed his misbehavior has somehow endeared him to the family instead of endangering the relationship. A relief, a great relief indeed.”

Eliezar made an ugly twisted face like he’d ripped into a raw lemon, but somehow kept his big mouth shut, picking up on Lorcan’s strategy of fading into the background. That left Lord Goody-two-shoes to step up to the plate.

“We were practicing, Grandmere,” Casper said calmly, stepping in front of them, an innocent smile lighting up his face as he sacrificed himself for the greater good. What a good man, even if he was a rather terrifying liar. “We all took turns lifting and shaping the Dust. The Assessment is just around the corner for a lot of us, and while I can’t speak for Eliezar, since his first Assessment was last cycle, I have to say that Lorcan and I both managed some impressive work. Wouldn’t you say so, Lorcan?”

“Very much so,” Lorcan nodded serenely, coming to hang elegantly off his side, recognizing the save for what it was. “I can’t say I remember anything Eliezar did, but Casper has a brilliant touch. Really added some flair. I’m sure his soul will glow bright at the Assessment.”

“Thank you, Lorcan, and your’s as well,” Casper said sincerely, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Your abilities also left a deep impression on myself, though I do hope to see something less terrifying next time. However, I am glad we agree that none of Eliezar’s attempts were very memorable; it makes me feel a little comforted knowing I’m not the only one with a bad memory.”

Lorcan snorted and ducked his head, hiding a smirk with his hand.

“Why’re you two bullying me??” Eliezar griped, kicking at their shoes. “I say, this is very uncalled for!”

“Now, now, boys.”

The three turned to watch Lorcan’s mum as she descended her perch on the window seat.

She swanned deeper into the parlor towards the company, gauzy robes fluttering from her like dragonfly wings. The gleeful glint in her eyes was hidden behind a proprietary smile, but Lorcan’s narrowed in suspicion, all too familiar with her mischief.

“There is nothing wrong with you, my dear little Vidal. You placed so well at your Assessment last rotation. Your soul shined so much brighter than many children can ever dream, for their first time. Lorcan and Lord Avinchii here need to knock you down a few pegs- just to reassure themselves that you are not completely untouchable.”

As if to prove her point, she placed a reassuring hand on Eliezar’s shoulder. Lorcan rolled his eyes. Eliezar’s face had gone completely red.

Lorcan couldn’t blame him.

In concentrated doses, and especially under the full attention of her bewitching smile, his mum wielded a gravity that spun your heart in circles, like a Star in orbit, dizzying, a swoop cinching low in the stomach. She had been chosen as a disciple of the Twin Stars of Beauty for a reason, after all. Armed with eyes both bright and clear, a jade green that seemed to pierce your soul and strip your secrets bare, and a delicate, pointed nose, crinkled in mirth but sly, dangerous and fox-like. Lorcan had often been the victim at the other end those discerning eyes, forced into confession for something he did cycles ago, even when he’d been completely well behaved at the moment.

It was his one weakness, those eyes looking into his soul like that.

Her curly chestnut hair was tied up today, with a beautiful silver clasp hung with dangling jewels like half moons, a few stray strands framing her rosy cheeks.

Lorcan didn’t take after her at all.

But then Lorcan noticed where Eli was looking, and his stomach dropped.

Her white lace gloves.

Mum removed her hand from Eli’s shoulder and reached out to ruffle their hair instead. Casper took it with grace, leaning into it like a puppy- he was probably used to being coddled, being the boot licker he was- but Eliezar ducked, face draining of all color. He looked a bit sick.

Lorcan glared at him, daring him to say anything, but the effect was ruined when his mum went after him next, mussing his curls, sweeping them back from his eyes.

“Next time you want to practice,” she said, raising a finger and an arched brow at each one of them, “come to me, first. I happen to know the best grounds on the property to train, a spot where the Stars pass close on their rotation. If one of them happens to gaze down from their courts- and they do so enjoy people watching, I’ve been told- they’d see you honing your skills, and perhaps, you’d even gain their favor. And isn’t that,” she grinned like a fox at Eliezar, cocking her head, “so much better than the praise of these two ungrateful starlings?”

“Would you really do that for us, Lady Winslow?” Casper asked, clasping his hands together. His eyes were wide and full of Stars.

See? Boot licker.

“Pft!” she lifted a delicate, lace covered hand to cover her mouth, eyes crescents. “Not for nothing, of course!”

“Mum!” Lorcan hissed, tugging her sleeve. “Enough. I know the spot just as well. Leave them out of this.”

“You knew and didn’t take us?!” Eliezar questioned, more confused than accusing.

“We’re always too busy messing around,” Lorcan whipped around at him, “getting off into trouble! You all are never serious about anything. Like I’d want the Stars to see me like this. Covered in dirt in the company of a mad bunch of hooligans.”

“Oh, so now you’re embarrassed to be seen with us, huh?”

“Oh dear, a spat,” Lord Vidal had pulled out a pair of opera glasses that he was now polishing on his burgundy coat, as if ready to watch a good show.

Lorcan’s mum threw an unamused look over her shoulder at him, before turning back to the three boys, arms crossed. “Come now, Lorcan. I didn’t teach you to speak the unashamed truth to your friends like that, at least doll it up with a few white lies. Here, boys, how about this! I will let you have free run of the estate while I’m gone- I’ll even put your soul signature into the wards- on one condition.”

Casper and Eliezar looked at each other with wide eyes.

Lorcan’s mouth dropped open. What??!

But that would mean . . . That would mean they could come and go as freely as if they, not just he, were children of the Winslow Estate!

What was mum thinking?

Father would be beyond peeved- no. Father would be furious.

“Lady Winslow, you are too kind!” Casper’s grandmother’s eyes were aglow, weathered hands clasped tight over her cane, knuckles white as if she was gripping a priceless gift she’d hold onto until the very day Death came for her soul. “Even if you didn’t, we must insist- just what can the Avinchii family assist you with?”

Lorcan did not like the look on her wrinkled old prune face. The word greed was positively written in the leathery folds of her forehead.

But just as he opened his mouth to protest, his mum wrapped an arm over his shoulders, pulling him close to her side, positively smothering him. Her chin dug into the top of his skull and he knew escape was futile. He glowered. He was being ham handled like a little kid! If either of the other boys said anything about ‘mama’s boys’ or ‘milk faces,’ he wouldn’t spare them a shred mercy!

Both of them were too awestruck to tease him.

“On the contrary, Grandmere Elton, this is hardly kindness for the favor I am about to ask,” mum stroked Lorcan’s cheek, lace rough on his skin. He wanted to bat away her fingers, wondering what kind of show she was putting on, but managed to keep his poise. “Lord Avinchii, Lordling Vidal,” she said, nodding to Casper and Eliezar in turn, “the condition I offer you is no small thing, so please do not take it as such. To add you to the wards, I need you to promise you will protect my son while I am gone.”

“Easy enough,” Eliezar exclaimed, chest puffing. “This little home body can’t get into too much trouble. The most excitement he’s had is when we—”

Casper grasped Eli’s arm, silencing him, crystal blue eyes fixed on Lady Winslow. His brow furrowed.

“Let her finish,” he said, slowly. “She hasn’t finished.”

Even though Lorcan couldn’t see it, he knew his mum was smiling, he could hear it in her voice, cloying and warm. “Clever boy. No, I wasn’t quite done. You see, while I adore you all as fondly as I do my nephews back home, I must say, a promise in words only isn’t too binding, now is it?”

Mum, no! Lorcan wanted to shout, but his mouth was glued shut!

He clapped a hand over his lips and stared up at his mum in horror.

Manipulating the Dust was an innate talent that everyone aimed to cultivate, seeing as though it not only made up the earth beneath their feet, the Islands in the sky above, and their own bodies, but it also proved they had the potential to become like the Stars and raise their own estates into the Heavens. It was the indication of a bright soul, after all. The brighter your soul shined, the more control you had over the Dust, and the higher the possibility that you’d gain Favor with a Star as their Star-in-training.

Being born from the Dust was hardly an excuse to live in it.

They were aiming for the Heavens, for Starhood.

His mum sealing his mouth shut without breaking a sweat was a powerful manifestation of her control . . .

Except that it was strictly illegal to temper with the Dust of another person and if anyone found out, the Star of Law would have a field day with their family!

Casper’s grandmother gasped loudly and shot to her feet, hands shaking on her cane. “Lady Winslow, you—!”

Stars above, did she find out?! Lorcan’s eyes widened.

“This just keeps getting more and more interesting,” Lord Vidal pushed away from the fireplace, placing his glass on a side table and striding towards them. Lorcan was certain his heart would beat straight out of his chest. The Lord’s mussed black hair and curious beady eyes reminded Lorcan of a crow who’d sighted a shiny treasure. “Lady Winslow, are you perchance asking my son to commit Desseh to yours? And right before the Assessment, too? Do you have any idea,” he stopped by the birdcage, hooking one of his fingers in the bars and looking down his nose, “how fishy this all sounds?”

“Dad, that’s a bird, not a fish,” Eliezar pointed out.

“I wasn’t trying to be funny, Eli,” his dad sighed with a withering look. “Look, Lady Winslow, thank you ever so much for the attention you’ve given my son, I’ve seen how he and your boy have gotten on like brothers, but I must say, what you have to offer is not nearly as enticing as the cost is outrageous. You know how I feel about roping children into tricky situations they’re not mature enough to understand. I don’t know why you are so worried over the safety of your son, but I would ask you to leave mine out of it, instead of dangling a carrot on a stick out over a ravine to lead him on.”

Lorcan felt his own face absolutely burn with mortification and he looked up to see his mum’s response. She kept her mask well, but her eyes were wide and wild, desperate. A trail of sweat ran down past her ear. Even without her- illegal- control over his tongue, Lorcan was speechless.

He had a bare inkling of what had mum so terrified, and now it was starting to seep into him, too.

She ducked her head, squeezing her eyes shut. “Lord Vidal, I—”

“I’ll do it.”

The room seemed to catch its breath and hold it.

“C-Casper! Hold your tongue!” Grandmere Elton squawked.

Casper blinked, casting an apologetic half smile to her.

“No, Grandmere, it’s fine,” he said, shrugging. “I’ll commit Desseh. I want to see Lorcan safe just as much as Lady Winslow, so it doesn’t sound like too bad a deal. And honestly, I can’t be as picky as the Vidals. Eliezar already has Intelligence’s Favor, but I have a lot to prove. Access to your training grounds would be a Star-send, Lady Winslow. Just tell me how, and I’ll do it.”

“That’s no fair! I want—”

“Eliezar, enough.”

“Casper, you will not—”

“And who are you to tell me what to do, Lady Elton,” Casper stated cooly, his back to his grandmother, stonehard and impenetrable. “I am Lord of the Avinchii House, since the rest are with the Stars, and you’re here only as a chaperone until I am of age to run my own estate. Even if I hold you in high regard, please remember your place. You are no Avinchii, or,” he turned to face her, countenance suddenly glowing in a pleasant smile, “am I wrong,” he cocked his head, “Grandmere?”

Lorcan watched the unfolding drama with wary eyes, taking in the way his mother relaxed her hold on him, how Eliezar had fallen to the side, his shoulders high around his ears like a beaten dog, Casper’s dark look, hair whipping in the air coming through the open windows, and his grandmother’s scoff even as she fell back into her chair, shaking.

“LADY WINSLOW!! LADY WINSLOW!”

The tension in the room shattered as Fia raced into the room, Alejandra hot on her heels.

They both doubled over, panting for breath, but Alejandra recovered a split second sooner, eyes shining.

“Lady Winslow, are you really taking Fia and I with you to compete for the Twin Stars’ Favor?! No way, right? No way, ma was pulling our legs!”

“WHO GAVE YOU BOTH PERMISSION TO RUN IN THE HALLS?” Lady Brommington bellowed, billowing into the room like a dark storm, swirls of Dust spinning about her head furiously. “AS SOON AS I TURN MY BACK, YOU TWO ARE AT IT AGAIN!”

“Ma~a!” Alejandra whined, head falling back in annoyance. “This isn’t the time for manners, it’s the time for answers.”

Mum started laughing, finally letting go of Lorcan- both his shoulders and his tongue!

“Argh!” he coughed, clearing his throat, making a face at the dry taste in his mouth. “Mum, really?! What was—”

But he didn’t finish because— illegal!!

She sent him a gentle look that said they’d talk later.

Hmph. Right. Like he’d be content with that.

“What are your thoughts about all this, Fia, Alejandra?” his mum asked, falling back on a chaise, stretched out gracefully, gossamer wisps of her dress settling around her.

Fia was standing straight, ruby irises large in the whites of her eyes. Her lips parted.

“It’s true?” she asked in disbelief.

“It’s true.”

Alejandra was fairly vibrating in excitement, trying to hide it by cocking her hip and crossing her arms with all the swagger of her pirate queen persona from earlier, pointing between Fia and herself.

“Us?”

“You.” Mum smiled.

“Guess I was wrong,” Eliezar whispered out of the corner of his mouth as he shuffled over to Lorcan’s side. “She’s not taking you. So much for parental love.”

“Enough of this,” Lorcan hissed, shooting him a dark look. He whirled around to level a devastating glare at Casper, Lord of Boot Lickers. “You. Come with me.”

He could not even begin to fathom the absolute anger pouring into his soul. It built behind his eyes, burning with the force of it. Perhaps he didn’t need the Assessment to measure the Light of his soul. Anyone who met his gaze would feel it’s heat and melt to a puddle on the floor. Casper crossed his arms, bangs falling over his eyes, making them deep and dark, even with the Star’s glow streaming through the windows. He was normally unreadable, but Lorcan really had no clue now!

Like he’d ever had a desire to understand him, anyhow!

Grabbing Casper’s arm, Lorcan tugged him out of the room, weaving between columns and ducking into an alcove, pressing a flower in the scroll-work. With a click, the metal grate that twisted up the back wall of the alcove lowered silently.

“Wait for— WOAH, wicked!”

Eliezar bonked into Casper’s back as he scooted in behind them, grabbing the Lord’s shoulders to peer around his halo of wispy brown hair that was starting to curl out of the band he’d roped it back in.

“If you’re tagging along then at least be quiet,” Lorcan shushed him.

He pushed against the wall, satisfied when it unlatched and sailed open smoothly, revealing a small, round office with ceiling high bookshelves and a twisting, turning starscape up above that glided on brass clockwork.

“Well, hello~” Eliezar whistled as they filed into the room. “This is neat! Bet the twins haven’t found this yet.”

Casper closed the door behind them. A click and it blended in seamlessly again with the wall.

Tick tick tick tick tick tick

The little Lord didn’t move after that, content to leave his back to the rest of the room, fiddling with one of the books on the shelves.

That little—! Offended at being ignored, Lorcan spun on his heel to glower at the opposite wall, fuming, kicking at the baseboards.

He could practically feel Eliezar looking between them, though he wasn’t sure what his expression was.

Ha, he hardly knew what expression to make himself. Lorcan hardly felt in control of much right now.

The tension was building.

Oh, screw it! Lorcan wasn’t good with unspoken words. Or silence, for that matter.

“Casper,” he gritted out. “Why.”

“Lorcan,” Casper responded nonchalantly. “Why not?”

“YOU KNOW WHY,” seething, Lorcan finally turned to face him, only to find Casper was already staring back at him, leaning against the dark oak, book pages flipping aimlessly. “Desseh, Casper? Desseh??! Do you even—”

“Of course I know what it means!” Casper threw up his hands, eyebrows seesawing. “Your mum told us not to take it lightly and I mean to follow through on that.” He pushed off from the wall, taking a step towards him. “Lorcan, do you even know what it would mean to me to be able to train with you, to catch the attention of a passing Star? Do you even know what a fairy tale that is to me right now?”

“I could take you to the training grounds, Casp! Me!” Lorcan cut his hand through the air. The words filled the room tight, full to bursting. “Without making an unbreakable oath. Without any strings attached. I don’t know what mum was getting at, trying to rope you both into protecting me with a Death sentence over your heads, but I’m fine! I’m not in any danger and I can take care of my friends myself!”

Lorcan’s eyes were so dark they were nearly black, like thick, billowing smoke was clouding them from the inside out, smoldering into Casper’s own cool gaze, who made no move to back down. Eliezar laughed nervously, seemingly at a loss, but instead of stepping between their stare off, he had retreated awkwardly behind a chair.

It would only last as a shield for so long, so he better choose his words carefully!

“Well, there we go,” he wheedled, earning an annoyed glare from them both. “Oh, come on, really? Quit burning holes in my head, I’m not normally the level headed one here, okay? Lorcan will just take us to practice on the grounds himself. No scary soul bonding needed. What a sweetheart, right? And who needs to be keyed into their wards anyhow, his dad loves us. You getting all this, Casper? Win, win for us both. Hooray and all that, haha.”

Tick tick tick

The brass clockwork overhead moved the Star of Luck to the zenith, the Star of Dreams falling in line behind the other Star figurines. Through the glazed windows, the sky was black.

Right, no Luck tonight, then. Figures.

“You know that isn’t the point,” Casper said on the edge of a whisper. “Lorcan, if your mum is this desperate to link our souls together, right before our first Assessments, too, when it’s sure to draw the most gossip, connecting us to the point that the Winslow wards accept my soul as family, and binding me to a promise that will rip the Light from my soul if I fail to obey, then there must be a pretty serious reason.” Lorcan huffed and balled his hands into fists. Casper didn’t miss a beat, pressing forward, “Do you really have no idea why she would go to such lengths? Think long and hard, Lori, because if your mom won’t risk leaving without ensuring your safety, maybe you should be worried, too.”

Casper jabbed the book into Lorcan’s chest, hard.

“Because I sure am.”

That idiot, that really hurt!

“What could you even do to protect me, even if there was something?” Lorcan muttered, finally turning his head away and glowering at the floor, rubbing at his chest. “You’re only a few rotations older than me. It’s not as if you’re any more skilled than I am at this point. Eliezar has a whole cycle on us and yet we still trounce him!”

“Hey—!”

“Enough of that,” Casper hissed harshly, eyes flashing. Lorcan grit his teeth. What was his problem?! “Lorcan, I’m serious. If you can think of any reason, any reason at all, your mum would want us looking after you while she’s gone, you’d better let us know or I’m not leaving you alone. Stop throwing up walls.”

Why couldn’t Casper get it through his thick skull that Lorcan wanted no part of this, so it didn’t. bloody. matter.

Eliezar sighed as if his entire soul was escaping from his lungs, forehead falling to the back of the armchair he was still hiding behind. “Yeah, that goes for both of us. Just fess up, Lorcan, come on.”

“Argh!” Lorcan screamed under his breath, whirling around to kick at the baseboards again, fists shaking from how hard he clenched them. His nails dug under his skin, leaving little golden half moons.

They just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could they!?

There was nothing. Absolutely nothing to worry about.

It wasn’t his fault his mum was paranoid.

It wasn’t his fault his parents hated each other.

“You what.”

“I’m done, Rolein. I’m done.”

No, he wasn’t going back there— he—!

“You’re done. Done, you say? And . . . ? What does that change? Do the Stars revolve around your will?! You speak a word and our lives suddenly weigh less than your's? We’re supposed to sit down and shut up and let you do whatever you please?!!"

“Rolein, enough. You don’t have the right; you don’t have the right to twist this.”

“Twist? My dear, I believe you are confused as to just who is mangling other peoples’ lives, here!”

“This. This exactly. Again, again you’re turning my words against me! Can’t you just, can’t you even pretend anymore?? I make you sick— you can barely touch, let alone love me— and you expect me to take that? You expect me to live with a man who can hardly stand to look at me? No, no, Rolein, I deserve more than that. We deserve— the memories of what we had before— deserve more than this.”

“Emilia. My dear, you’re distraught. You obviously haven’t thought this through. Let’s work through this together. Stay here, let me take care of you, take care of us. We can find a cure, we can have everything, everything, once I—”

“We’ve been over and over and over this by now, Ro. I refuse to abandon my Stars! This is not something you can ask of me. Not when they chose me. They chose me and didn’t regret it, no matter what my body looks like now.”

“Emilia.”

“Admit it. Admit it, Rolein. Or should I take off the gloves? Should I touch you like I used to? Ha, look at your face! That expression. That’s not how a husband looks at his wife. You look like I’ve smeared dog dung through the house!”

"Emilia!

“Enough, Rolein. I'm sick and tired of this! We're not getting anywhere."

“And where were we supposed to get, huh? Huh?! I thought we were journeying life together! I thought we had forever, walking side by side, seeking happiness, looking for eternity.”

“You can’t even bear to look at me and you want forever? Forget it. Forget it, Rolein. You’re fighting for an empty cause. To fill whatever role you think you have. A husband? A family? Empty words. Putting on an act, because you think this is what this is, what you’ve always thought family is.”

“An act? I see. I see. Even now, you can’t seem to grasp that happiness isn’t some robe you can take on and off. I guess, even after all your pretending- if you think that’s what this has been- we can never be enough for you, Lorcan and I.”

“Don’t you dare say his name. This is between us! We’ve been living complacent, caught in limbo, playing out your delusions. I’d be leaving for my sabbatical whether or not this was over, that’s always been the stipulation they gave me so I could raise Lorcan, but this is where it ends. This is where we end. Oh, don’t worry, I’ll do what you want until then. I’ll say goodbye to your friends, throw a little party, get in their good graces, I won’t let this damage your reputation. Because that’s never what it’s been about for me. For me, at least."

Lorcan felt his shoulders slump as he released the air from his mouth after a long and suspended pause where the room began to tip and black dots swarmed the corners of his vision. He really should probably breathe again. Ice ran up and down his spine.

All of a sudden, he wanted to plop on the ground and shove his face into his hands to hide from everything and everyone.

. . . Was there anything keeping him from doing just that? Screw propriety!

His black robes pooled around him on the oak floor and Lorcan really wished he remembered how filthy his hands were before covering his face with them, but he figured the pose looked defeated enough for Casper and Eliezar to avoid approaching out of some misguided show of support.

“I really don’t know what my mum thinks there is to protect me from,” Lorcan whispered, still uncertain he wanted to be talking at all, let alone about something so intensely personal. Something he hadn’t fully had time to process himself. He wasn’t going to make it easy for them to hear. “But I know she isn’t coming back.”

With his back to the rest of the room, Lorcan had no way of knowing what their reactions were.

He didn’t care anyway.

This wasn’t about them.

But apparently mum wanted to drag more people into the family drama.

Even though it was a family she wanted no part of.

Ha.

“Oh, whoops, maybe I should clarify, since you’re both so curious, huh? Mum basically handed in her two weeks notice to Father and I. Divorce, what a word, right? On to bigger and better things, I suppose. A place in the heavens with her Stars. The Dust’s too thick down here for her, I imagine, along with all the rest of us who still live Grounded. I mean,” his lip curl snidely, pretending their shadows on the walls, washed out and small as they were under the lighting, could see his disdain, “Eli, your mum’s on her tenth year now, spinning away in Dream’s court, already pulling the strings from her inner circle. Casp, both your parents are already on the cusp of Starhood themselves, unless Luck’s left Victory to her own devices again. When’s the last time you’ve seen either head or tails of them, running the estate on your own as you’ve been? Really, it was bound to happen sooner rather than later, Mum leaving.”

Lorcan suddenly clapped his hands, “Oh, you know what? I just thought of this- maybe it’s pity. Mum knows she’s bludgeoning a hideous hole in her only kid’s life and is trying to fill it any way she can. She’s trying to make sure I don’t go off the rails without her, I’d bet! Yes, she’ll slice up her Desseh with Father and make up for it with you two. That’s just about the only thing I can think up, for why she’s insistent on this whole Desseh debacle.”

The entire room was filled with Lorcan’s heavy breathing, suddenly cloyingly hot as if he had just breathed fire, robes sticking to the back of their necks.

Lorcan sniffed.

Bloody Dust! His eyes were burning!

“Well, now that I’ve barfed my guts out to you fiends, will you finally leave me alone?” Lorcan found himself mumbling pathetically into his palms, even though he meant the words to plunge into them like knives, make them regret ripping into his personal life.

Even now, laying in bed in the darkness of his canopy, Lorcan remembered the mortification viscerally, face burning into the pillows.

Mum . . .

Mum hadn’t visited his Dreamscape since she’d gone.

Okay. Alright. So he wasn’t at the top of her mind right now, that made sense after a drastic change of scenery like this. Yes, yes, perfect sense.

What he couldn’t figure out was why he hadn’t visited her’s.

“No, this really won’t do,” Lorcan huffed, pushing himself up to his knees in the center of the mattress.

At this point, he just wanted to sleep!

Obsessing uselessly over the burning housefire that were the last few weeks would only result in his descent to madness, and unless lunacy cured insomnia, he was perfectly fine juggling one loose screw at a time, thank you very much.

Sick of spinning in the same circles like a bird with a broken wing, Lorcan found his feet slipping to the cold marble floor, giving an involuntary shiver as he crouched down to feel along the mahogany paneling of his bed stand.

Ah, there it was. The panel slid out and Lorcan shoved his hand inside, tongue peeking from his lips as he extracted an ivory music box.

It was hardly a delicate or even beautiful thing. A tall, bone white figurine with chips that spidered like veins, their chest gaping to reveal the cogs and metal inside. His younger self had treated it none too gently, overusing it night after night, always a touch too stubborn for his own good, especially when it came to deciphering just how his fascination ticked.

A brain sucker, as Eli so elegantly termed him.

Now, laying back into his pillows, sheets tented over his head to block out Dream’s Light, Lorcan begged and begged like his life depended on it.

“Please, please, please, Lady Dream. I know I’m usually hounding you for a Dream, and I know you’re sick of me by now, but tonight, tonight all I wanna do is sleep! I want to forget everything and just sleep, finally, please, please, oh, please . . .”

Lorcan released the music box’s crank, having twisted it on every word, and pressed his eyes shut as the familiar melody washed over him.

Already he could feel his muscles relaxing.

Ever since he was a dawdling infant, his mum would use the thing to lull him to sleep. Maybe it trained him or something as equally vexing. Because even now, no matter how frankly embarrassing it was to use a music box designed to put wailing babies to sleep, it was his one sure method to shutting off his brain and drifting off.

Lorcan didn’t even notice he was humming along dreamily until it all faded away and he was finally dead to the world.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t too long before he became dimly conscience, briefly acknowledging that he had fallen asleep as he floated in pitch darkness.

While everything was black, his other senses where strangely alert. His skin prickled as though he were in a vast, open space, his nose drank in a breath of dirt and poppies, and his mind continued to draw a blank on why he felt awake but remained in complete darkness.

For a moment, he even thought he heard a voice.

What was it they were saying?

It was so dim, he brushed it off as pure imagination, though he was sure it was his name they were repeating.

Shrugging, Lorcan allowed the darkness to surround him until he was longer aware of anything at all, falling into a deep slumber.

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To be Continued...

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