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Long War [Old]
002: Introduction

002: Introduction

Chapter 002: Introduction

The Explorers’ Guild is one of the biggest and most influential organizations working under the auspices of the Confederation of Mankind itself, without any intermediaries in the form of member-states. It was officially created on 12th March, 2425, when the Supreme Council of Mankind managed to pass a law that centralized all exploration efforts under a single banner.

This started the greatest period of human exploration ever since the ultimate collapse of the Survey Corps, the spiritual predecessor of the Guild, in the last years of agony of the Solar Commonwealth (which occurred around year 2329).

[...]

The organization is, however, highly controversial. Its secretive, almost cult-like structure (with several levels of initiation), expansive censorship of exploration reports and almost full-control of the legal archeotech market earned it suspicions and ire of many. Only partial and self-contradictory gossips leave the higher echelons of the Guild, obscuring rather than uncovering its secrets.

[...]

Officially the only field departments of the Guild are the Department of Survey and Exploration (tasked with exploration of the wilderness beyond inhabited areas) and Department of Threat Prevention (suppressing threats such as pirate bases hidden beyond the light of civilization, and making sure that horrible disasters like the Machine Wars will never happen again).

However, there are recurrent suspicions (supported by rare - and often contradictory - whistleblowers, stolen documents and spies) of at least three different field departments. Whether the Departments of Special Operations, Extermination and Containment actually exist (and what is their purpose) remains a secret.

Encyclopedia Galactica

Book 2, page 202-204.

***

CHRISTOPHER HALL

Christopher woke up in the shuttle, much more confused than when he dozed off. He focused his mind on a single question, omnipresent in his thoughts.

What the fuck was that?

Not like he could figure out the answer. He had no idea where to start looking for it.

The shuttle could almost pass as an interior of a passenger jet. Rows of seats, and a corridor in the middle. Only the lack of windows and the industrial yet run-down aesthetics (exposed cables, rough edges, metal crate covering one wall with lots of machinery visible behind it) felt amiss.

Since there were only five people in the space designed for thirty, there was a lot of emptiness between them. Lieutenant-commander Mendez seemed to be taking a nap (‘beauty sleep’, as the captain called it). Lieutenant Nowak entered what Christopher presumed to be the cockpit for reasons unknown. Ryan appeared to be deep in his own thoughts. The captain in the meantime was reading a book.

The print seemed to do fine, even in the 28th Century.

Since the occasion seemed as good as ever, Christopher decided to try to answer his lingering question in the only way he saw possible. He left his seat and approached the captain.

“Captain Kell…” He said, but he got interrupted.

“Alexander.” Captain said. “While we all have military ranks, the Guild is at best a paramilitary organization. With a lot of pressure on ‘para’. As long as you do your job and obey orders, you need not refer to people by their rank. Especially when you, your superior or both of you are off-duty. Though one or two members of my crew might disagree, so it’s always prudent to approach new people courteously. Back to the subject at hand, what happened?”

“Well, I don’t know how to say it, but…” Christopher said. Then he described everything that had just happened. The captain remained silent for the whole time, but he was listening with a serious face. Finally, Christopher finished his story.

“That’s… interesting.” the Captain commented. “So, let me sum it up. An entity spoke to you in your dream, claiming to be a projection of a Christian angel. An entity that could also be a representative of some highly advanced aliens or a scheming AI of the thing in your hand. It also claimed to be responsible for you coming here and did so because you are supposed to fulfill some mission, which you’ll learn details of at some unspecified point in the future. This entity also claims to be capable of returning you back to your times if you succeed. Is that correct?”

“Well, yes. I know that it sounds ridiculous, but…” Christopher tried to answer but was interrupted yet again.

“Well, it does sound ridiculous. We both agree there.” Christopher felt his mood dropping from that answer. “But I’ve spent quite a while working on the very verge of human understanding. There is a reason most field personnel of the Explorers' Guild become religious, superstitious, or eccentric at some point.” It sounded like an interesting job. At least to Christopher. “Your situation at this point is only the second weirdest thing I ever saw. Because of that, I will postpone deciding on whether or not your dream was ridiculous until I’ll get Lith to run some medical tests on you. Who knows, maybe I’ll even get to tell you about the weirdest thing that I ever saw?” He said while winking mischievously at Christopher. “Any idea what’s the ‘first gift’ that you were supposed to notice right after waking up?”

“No idea, actually. I felt nothing unusual.” A sound of doors sliding into the wall announced Lieutenant Anna returning from the cockpit. “Which makes me doubt…”

“Alex, the coast seems clear. Looks like the natives still haven’t found the bodies in that cargo compartment. We should reach the Echo in ten minutes, without further troubles.” Anna said, her voice tinted with an unexpected feeling of disappointment. “Wait, why is he gawking at me like that?”

“Christopher, Anna is asking you…” This time it was Christopher who interrupted the captain.

“I know. I can understand her. Uhm, should I be understanding her?” It sounded like English to him, so she might have changed the language in the meantime. Though this didn’t explain the captain’s attempted relay of her words.

“Nope.” Captain answered. “Unless you learned Polish in the last twenty minutes. Which, I assure you, is impossible. What did she say, exactly?” Christopher repeated what he heard. “Eva. EVA!” Lieutenant-commander Mendez woke up from her slumber, muttering something that sounded like a curse word. “Say something, please.”

“Something?” She said faintly, unsure of what it was all about. Captain took a peek at Christopher, who nodded in answer.

“You can go back to sleep, Eva.” After saying that, the captain leaned towards Christopher. “Now I’m really interested in you. And you just extended the medical hell that awaits at least twofold.”

Ugh.

***

CHRISTOPHER HALL

Soon their shuttle reached its destination. After exiting it, they found themselves in what looked like a stereotypical sci-fi ship hangar. Spacious, with several shuttles and people looking like mechanics bustling around.

There was also one person who was waiting for them. A woman wearing what looked like a tight-fitting skinsuit, perfectly showing every angle and curve. Such suits seemed to be standard work clothes aboard the ship, as the mechanics in the background were wearing similar outfits.

It covered the entirety of her body save for the head and a neck. On her head she had black goggles.

All of that was of little importance to Christopher, though, as his mind was occupied with something different.

This world had CATGIRLS. The ears and fluffy looking tail of the woman waiting for them left absolutely no doubts. Though since she looked like adult - at least 30, maybe 35 years old - the term ‘catwoman’ would be much more fitting. She also had the figure and looks of an actress. Famous actress. Hourglass figure, unblemished skin, and curves everywhere where they should be.

Did everyone in this world have access to plastic surgery?

“Tiaa, how lovely to se…” the Captain began speaking, only for the catgirl to suddenly push a bundle of documents into his hands.

“All the papers you need to sign for the two recruits. I’d have sent them to you in a digital version, but Innocent was adamant about having you sign them on paper.” There was something in the catwoman’s face that resembled a predator watching its prey.

The captain gazed down at the bundle in his hand.

“This is a mutiny! You are all going to swim with the sharks for that!” Captain threw up his hands, while both Eva and Anna made badly concealed chuckles. “All right, get the recruits to Lith for medical check-up and have them do their part of the paperwork. Then bring them to their quarters. I’ll go check why Innocent made an attempt on my life.”

The captain disappeared, and so did Eva and Anna. Leaving Christopher and Ryan with the catwoman.

“All right, country bumpkins, let me officially welcome you in the Explorers' Guild.” She said. “I’m Tiaa Sistonen, the chief petty officer of EGS Echo. The best way to describe what the chief petty officer does aboard a ship is by saying that his or her job is clearing the mess made by crew members. I’m the boss of all non-officer people aboard the ship. It is my job to ensure that all crewmembers work with maximum efficiency and do not screw up anything badly enough for the officers to notice. Got it?”

Christopher and Ryan responded with nods.

“I’m 99% sure that the captain told you how we are all on a first name basis here, but when you’re not off duty and I ask you a question, I expect to hear your answer.” She didn’t look angry, it was just a statement of the fact. “Repeat after me: ‘Yes, chief.’”

“Yes, chief.” Christopher and Ryan said in unison.

“Great. Both of you will be assigned to Recovery Team Eight. This means that you will land on things previously secured by our marines and then help steal everything that isn’t bolted to the wall. Once this is over, you’ll find a screwdriver and steal bolted things as well. Which one of you is Ryan Welch?”

“That’s me, chief.” Ryan seemed much less depressed than earlier. Sad and melancholic, at best.

“You will become an engineer.” Tiaa continued. “You’ll receive the necessary training. As for the other one… Christopher Hall, right?”

“Yes, chief.” At least he didn’t have to ‘be’ Raphael Schwartz. That name sucked.

“Well, your service aboard the Echo will be interesting.” What now?! “According to the info I received from the captain, you will become the petty officer in charge of Recovery Team Eight. Quite unorthodox.”

“What?! How… How am I supposed to do that!?” The last time he was in charge of a group of people, it was a guild in an MMORPG. It ended horribly for everyone involved. Including the game itself.

“Well, to begin with, get used to the captain making sudden and unexplainable decisions that turn out to work more often than not. Hopefully, this one will work too. Also, since I’m your direct superior and he marked you in your personal file as a potential candidate for an officer promotion, I will train you properly. To death, if needed.” This started being uncomfortable. While Christopher knew at least one person who would LOVE being trained to death by an adult catwoman, he was as far from that as possible. ”Besides, the entire Eighth are trainees and recruits, so you’ll fit right in. Now that we have pleasantries behind us, we can proceed to the paperwork. And then you’ll meet Lith.”

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Christopher was curious if she was aware of the depth of disdain audible in her last sentence.

***

The corridors felt... tight. Industrial. There were pipes and exposed wiring here and there. The lighting seemed scarce. This reminded Christopher of some of the older sci-fi films and TV series. Echo looked a lot like Nostromo - he could only hope that their journey wouldn’t end the same.

Something in the way Tiaa walked was... weird. The only word that came to Christopher’s mind was ‘lithe’. Light, feminine, graceful. Something in her moves reminded him of the cat that once shared the home with him. She was probably quite popular among the crew.

Finally they reached what looked like a bureau. There they found themselves on the receiving end of a rain of questions. It started with their pretty standard things. Background, history of illnesses, conflicts with the law. Hobbies, especially those that could be potentially useful (for example martial arts, it turned out that both Christopher and Ryan had a brush with them).

But then it turned weird. Questions about religion, nationality and political beliefs started coming. She even made them sum up their sexual history, though they were the ones to write them on the computer terminal - chief Tiaa ‘didn’t want to know anything about it’, in her own words.

Ryan looked utterly unfazed by all of that, and Chief Tiaa didn’t look like she was doing something out of the ordinary (save for the last part), so Christopher decided that in the past centuries the approach to such things changed. And answered the question honestly.

Of course, the weirdness didn’t stop there. The last set of questions concerned things that Christopher never expected to be asked about in what was pretty much a job interview. Superstitions he believed in. Whether or not he was interested in the occult. Did he believe in anything that was considered a conspiracy theory by the general population. And, last but not least, if he believed in anything ‘paranormal’.

“I’m sorry to ask, but… why?” Finally Christopher had enough of it. “I can understand the earlier questions, but those are…”

“...a bit unusual.” Ryan seemed to agree with the time traveller.

“Listen.” Tiaa didn’t look surprised by this question coming up. “Mankind lives in a bubble. Giant bubble. In it, ships and fleets frequently patrol the star systems and routes between them. Everything is nice, orderly, and scientific. But board a ship and go beyond that bubble, into the systems where humans never really were before, or leave the well-tested hyperspace routes, and you will encounter weird things.”

“Weird things?” This didn’t sound reassuring at all.

“You’ll find out sooner or later. Just believe me when I’m telling you that stories are always worse than the real thing. Crew members love to stuff new members with spooky stories. These questions, however weird, become quite important when repeated annually. We are willing to work with weird people, God knows that most of us are a bit eccentric. But when you start getting loony? That’s when we say you should find another job. Got it?”

So, a psychiatric evaluation… at least in a way. Of course, this only made Ryan and Christopher worry more.

“Just… remember that some of the crewmembers have been in the business for 30 or 40 years and they are totally fine.” She continued. Her answers felt a bit automatic. She seemed quite used to those particular questions being asked.”

What followed was a more straightforward paperwork regarded to receiving implants and not divulging the sensitive information outside of the Guild. When they finished going through that, they departed towards the sickbay where - according to an off-mark remark of the catwoman - Lith Athalia reigned supreme.

Chief Sistonen mentioned that he was a lieutenant-commander and a chief medical officer of Echo. She didn’t go into details, and that’s why they were caught off-guard by the doctor entering the waiting room. Which changed the genre of Christopher’s time-displaced adventure from science fiction to surreal horror.

What in the name of…

The man… the woman… the someone that came out was wearing a nurse outfit straight from some porno film that was composed of a nurse headband, a high-waist miniskirt, crop top, and thigh-high stockings. All of it pure white, save for large pink hearts on the headband and in the middle of the crop top. He (or she) was also petite and slender, flat as a board, and had neon blue hair that seemed to glow a bit.

“Tiaa, darling! How lovely to see you! Did my proposition finally sway your cold heart?!” Lith smiled and ended the sentence on an almost singing tune.

“No.” The answer was swift and serious. “I’m here because I need you to do medical check-ups for the two recruits. The standard for Ryan. And standard plus whatever the captain messaged you about for Christopher. Also, I want to make sure you won’t take advantage of them being unconscious to draw whiskers on their face and take selfies with them. Or something worse.”

“Something worse?!” Ryan seemed to think exactly the same thing as Christopher did.

“Oh, well, I might not have contained myself without you to watch over me.” Lith said while biting his or her lips. “Ryan’s going first, I wouldn’t handle both of them at once.”

Christopher was on the verge of running away. It was definitely possible, as Ryan went in first, taking Lith and Tiaa with him. Unfortunately, this was a starship, not a building, so his chances of successfully evading pursuit indefinitely were slim. Instead of running, he steeled his resolve. It couldn’t be THAT bad.

Ten minutes later they returned.

“Medical check-up is over, at least for you. Now time for the fun part!” Lith was just as creepily cheerful as before the examination. “Or, to be exact, it’s now Christopher’s turn. It might take a while. We’ll get both of you prepped for communication implant installation later on.” What? “Chris, don’t make me wait!” Ugh.

***

An hour later, a small group of people met in Lith Atalia’s office. Three lieutenant-commanders - Eva Mendez, Lith Athalia, and Innocent, the tactical officer of Echo - were present.

Lith dropped the sexual predator act. He was sitting in a chair beside the computer terminal with a large monitor, wearing a white lab coat. He was also smoking a cigarette. The other two sat in chairs behind him, waiting patiently. The last chair was empty.

Finally, the doors slid open, and captain Keller entered.

“Sorry, the paperwork took me a while.” An obvious lie. So obvious that none of the people present even considered it to be one. More like a bad joke. “You can start, Lith.” Captain added while sitting on the last free chair.

“High fucking time.” Lith commented, before turning his chair to face the rest. “All right, so I will start with Ryan. Slight vitamin deficiency and malnourishment, unsurprising for a lower strata human from an underdeveloped banana republic. Nothing a good diet couldn’t fix. He should go through an additional psychological evaluation because of recent trauma of seeing all his friends splattered on the walls, but that’s Innocent’s job.” The tactical officer - who also doubled as the Echo’s psychiatrist, psychologist and chaplain - nodded. “I put him through that neural scan that I told you I developed a while ago. 0,98 in the Avanth scale. Supreme-level potential.”

“It never ceases to amaze me how casually you named that scale after your old false surname.” Captain commented while others swallowed the news.

“That was my old surname? So THAT’S where I took the Avanth name from. Dammit, I had so many of them that I keep losing track of that.” Lith’s answer was relatively concise and with no sexual innuendos. His acting skills were impeccable as ever.

“You could just settle on one name finally.” Captain said. ”And stop being so addicted to body mods. Seriously, each time you change your name and body, it gets weirder. ”

Lith shook his head.

“No way! They might find me! They always find me.” Alexander sighed. Eva did so as well. Innocent showed a classic example of his sense of humor and played a recording of their sighs, remixed and looped into music. The captain recognized the melody of ‘All Creatures of Our God and King’, a 12th Century hymn composed by St. Francis of Assisi. One of Innocent’s favorite songs.

“Your paranoia is as bad as ever, Lith.” Captain said, which made Innocent cease the background music. It was an understatement of a century. Lith was constantly seeking to avoid more or less specific threats to his life, which made him do many things that normal people would consider strange, scary or even terrifying. Including extensive bodymods and really awkward acting, all according to his theory that the weirder you are, the less you look like you’re hiding something.

“It’s no longer a paranoia, and you know it. Paranoia changes into reasonable caution after the fifth attempt on your life.” Lith retorted, increasingly irritated by the subject.

“Innocent, is Lith visiting you as I ordered him?” It was a good moment for confrontation. Or, at least, as good as ever. Alexander decided to exploit that.

“Answer: No.” The tactical officer straightened up in his seat. The captain was curious how Christopher - a man from the far past - would react if he saw Innocent. Seeing a humanoid robot would be shocking enough. Seeing it wear a cassock with a clerical collar would triple the effect. “Clarification: Lith Athalia shows an indecent amount of creativity when it comes to avoiding psychological therapy sessions with me, which no doubt will further the wilting of his already highly diminished mental faculties.” The captain could already feel the incoming headache, even before Lith reacted.

“Diminish… YOU GODDAMN TIN CAN!” Lith shouted while standing up from his seat. “I was the best geneticist and surgeon of Mankind when you were still wearing diape…” Lith paused, noticing the mistake he had made.

“Addendum: The situation is worse than I thought.” Innocent couldn’t leave such an occasion unused. Lith was preparing another riposte - much better this time - but someone interrupted him.

“Guys, don’t get me wrong, it’s great that you have good humor.” Eva said, with a stern voice and a frown on her face “But last time I checked this wasn’t a kindergarten, but a meeting of a group of very important people knowing things others don’t and secretly manipulating events from the background to achieve their secretive goals. Can you at least pretend to be adults while doing so?”

Lith seemed pacified enough by that to continue, especially as both Innocent and captain remained silent.

“All right, so about Christopher.” The conversation returned to the right track. ”Let me phrase it that way: I have no fucking clue what he is, but he is at best as much human as me.”

“Question: What do you mean?” Innocent said in his robotic voice. The others simply listened.

“His muscles and bone structure are normal, however, most of his internal organs have been… replaced, for the lack of a better word. The shape is identical to the original organs, and they are biological. However, the ultrasound scan seems to indicate that their consistency is all wrong. I ran some tests, and the replacements are much more efficient than the originals. They surpass modern Enhanced mods, actually. I also took blood samples from him, and while his blood is red as it should be, that’s how far the similarity goes. Its contents are such an absolute mess that it will take me a month to analyze it. I’ve never seen half of the substances he has in his veins. Right now, I can tell you two things. First is that his platelets were replaced by something that is closer to organic nanomachines in nature, speeding up wound closure. Second is that he doesn’t need a nano boost to his immune system. I’ve arranged a bit of gladiatorial combat between his white cells and Vincent’s new breed of nano-flu. It was a one-sided massacre.”

“So, better stamina because of lung improvement, better digestion, resistance against toxins because of his super-liver, invulnerability to diseases, and his wounds close faster. But normal strength and he will die if he gets shot, just like all of us, though with some exceptions. Right?” This time it was Eva that spoke.

“Yep. Quite an interesting specimen.” Lith answered. “If he dies, bring me his body. I really fucking need to dissect him. He is like a human piñata filled with scientific wonders and biological breakthroughs. And I really want some candies.” This metaphor was rather… disturbing, though Lith didn’t seem to notice that, or care about it. “Also, while I do not understand how he can speak and understand languages that he never learned without a translation mod, and I didn’t find the translocator, I did, in fact, find what I believe to be his two other ‘gifts’.”

“Oh? Pray tell.” The captain said. Lith was always a bit of a pain in the ass, especially with his biomod addiction, paranoia, and the way he acted around normal crew members. But he was also the absolute best medical specialist in Human Space, at least according to Alexander. For several reasons. Proper medical education wasn’t one of them.

“I put him through a neural scan. He got fourteen points on the Avanth scale. Fourteen freaking points.” The room went utterly silent. Even the captain was shocked, and that didn’t happen often. ”The average person is around 0.1. 0.98 is absurdly high. Still, it’s the second-highest score ever recorded by me, but the difference is only two percent in favor of the other case. His first hyperspace travel will be fabulous.”

“Can you strap a neurosuppressor to him?” Captain asked with a worried expression. This was outside of his predictions, and he didn’t like it. He had to take necessary precautions, as he was certain that the result would be as interesting as it would be explosively messy.

“Really?” Lith looked surprised. He probably expected the captain to jump on the occasion. “Well, theoretically I can, but it will slow down the development. Are you sure that you…” Alexander nodded in answer.

“I’m not letting anyone with fourteen points wander around my ship. At least not before I confirm that they are trustworthy. Don’t look at me like that, Innocent. You’re not helpful at all.” The robot wearing priest robes sighed.

“Fine.” Lith surrendered. ”Still, it’s something to be done in the aftermath of the first jump.” Which could also be messy. He didn’t lose his hopes for being the one to dissect Christopher, preferably as fast as possible.

“Not a problem, just be on standby when that happens. All right, so what’s the last gift?” Lith clicked his tongue.

“Well, you won’t like this. Or you actually will like this. Always so damn unpredictable.” Lith sighed, took a puff of his cigarette, and then continued. “Normal people have six meters of small intestines and one and a half meters of large intestines. However, our new petty officer has only three meters of the former and one meter of the latter. The only real size deviation in his organs, but since his intestines received a buff to efficiency, I suspect that there would be no ill effect because of that. However, the resulting empty space is filled with… that.”

He clicked a button on his terminal. An image showed up on the monitor.

“What in space is that?!” Eva was the first one to speak.

“Absolutely no idea, and honestly? I prefer to not dig anywhere close to that fucking thing.” Lith commented while leaning on his chair. “Are we going to tell him or not? I never took that stupid Hypocrite Oath as I’m not even officially a doctor, so it’s not like I have to be ethical here. So, captain? You want me to lie, or at least not mention that at all?”

“This revelation can wait.” Captain was against lying to people, though he was ready to withhold certain information when the need arose. “Tell him you found some ‘abnormalities’ in his abdomen and have him report to you if he felt anything weird there.” That should do. At least until someone figures what the hell was going on with Christopher.