I slumped against the pillar, mentally and physically exhausted.
“How can…” I panted. “...such an old man… dance so much?”
You’re the one who brought it up. Gideon handed me the cloth in his jaws, and I used it to wipe my forehead. You have only yourself to blame.
“It was all… all I had left.”
As it turns out, talking about regions and policies when you didn’t know anything about them is much harder than I thought. And with Brepoli and Trenlend, I knew precious little.
And by precious little, I meant their names.
So when the band had been roused and the music quickened, I’d leaped at the first opportunity I could to make myself look less stupid and offered to dance what little I had mastered in the previous week. But the problem with that quickly became evident, when I found it impossible to both dance and talk without passing out. And thus here I was.
“Maybe… we switch… to just shadowing him?”
There’s no way you’re giving up that early. Are you really Ryder?
I looked down at myself as my breathing slowed.
“For my own pride, I’m going to say ‘not right now’.”
I really wish I could take a break, but even as I watched, waiters began to pile food onto the tables and the band began to fade, signalling the beginning of dinner. That was probably my best chance for squeezing something out of him, and I couldn’t stop just for something as insignificant as mental health.
Wait, was that a bad thought process to have?
“Saphry?”
I flipped around at the voice, only to find a slightly rotund noble looking down at me with a shocked expression. Even I was stunned to see him, having not thought of the guy for over half a month now.
“Justeo?” I stood up straight again to inspect his face, finding a hard edge in his features. “You’re alright? What are you doing here?”
Extensive trauma is a transitory thing in Verol, it seems.
“How?” He frowned, conflicted. “You’re fine. After what happened…”
As much as I wanted to go through his therapy session with him, I really couldn’t justify abandoning my mission to talk to him. I had to blow him off as soon as I could. Politely, of course.
“Eh, you know. Healing and bed rest.” I pat his shoulder, relishing the fact that I didn’t have to reach up too far for once. “Well, it was nice seeing you! Unfortunately I have-”
He laid his own hands over my shoulders, stopping me in my tracks.
“No. I mean: how can you be here? How can you walk among his friends?”
In the corner of my eye I saw the old man stretching contentedly as he walked to the table, right to an occupied section. I tried to struggle free of Justeo, finding that he was holding on like a vulture with a carcass.
“Let go?” I tried again, but he didn’t budge. “Listen bud, I have somewhere to be right now, so if you could just stop being insane for a moment that’d-”
“Insane? Me? You’re the one who’s insane! Do you not realise the sacrifice he did? Are you not ashamed of walking where he once did?”
It wasn’t often that I regretted my words, but now was one of those times. He was talking about Feanin, wasn’t he? Justeo had talked to him as well, walked with him to the shrine, seen him die in front of him, so of course seeing me would bring that all up again. Even looking at his face, the stressed wrinkles and bags under his eyes still spoke of a man haunted by the past. And when I glanced over him again, the subtle weight loss was obvious.
Still, this struck me as extremely poor taste. I… I didn’t kill Feanin after all. My thought that I had ended up being a thought inserted by the thought demon, didn’t it? Even with my scream, if Andril hadn’t heard me then how could’ve Feanin? There was no way, right?
No, I couldn’t blame Justeo for acting like this. Not when even I, someone who didn’t even see him die, still thought about it like that. I didn’t want to deal with it, nor did I have the time or expertise to do so, but his actions were understandable.
“Justeo…” I bit the inside of my cheek as I floundered for what to say. “I know you grieve for Feanin, but-”
“Feanin?” He laughed quietly. “I speak not of that coward hunter. He was a victim of Fangpeak’s ignorance. I mean Baliman, uniter of the church.”
Behind me, the band started up again, to a more orchestral piece.
“Baliman?” The name was familiar. That was the name of the chapter master, wasn’t it? The one who’d died a bit after healing me. “What about him?”
“By the Star, you really don’t know. Or have you just forgotten?”
You should leave. Gideon suddenly said. This is a bad conversation.
“It’s unfortunate that he died, but…” I stopped as I tried to remember.
Just what had Baliman died to, anyway? I’d always assumed it was to the Orthungs, but that was never outright said, was it?
“How did Baliman die?”
Ryder!
“You really…” He affixed me with a glare, and I broke contact. “You were soul-scarred, Saphry. Dead to the world. Baliman… Baliman brought you back. He couldn’t bear to see you die in front of him.”
Dead? That wasn’t true, was it?
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“He traded his life for yours. He died for you!” Tears gathered at the edges of his eyes. “That man was a saint! And now he’s dead, for some worthless eastern princess.”
“I-”
“How can your life possibly stack up to equal his own! What can you do that he couldn’t have done better!”
He shook me fiercely, and I almost didn’t notice when Gideon jumped forward to bite his hand. Cursing, he pushed me back, and I fell to the shining floor of the hall.
Don’t listen to him.
“Silver for slag! The Star for giants! That’s all you are!” He was shouting now, drawing gazes from all corners of the gala. “To think Baliman died for this…”
It was true. He wouldn’t be so passionate if he didn’t believe it, and the way everyone had described Baliman’s death… it fit too well. Without even knowing it, I’d already killed two people.
A shadow passed over me as Fredrick stepped to my side, his hand on his hilt and his face unreadable. Right behind Justeo, Breale appeared, her face the very picture of fury.
“Step away, Justeo.” He warned. “You’ve said enough.”
“You’ll defend this trash? You should know more than anyone about Baliman's contributions!”
“Step away.”
For a second it looked like he would argue more, and his hand found a small sheath under his jacket that I hadn’t seen since that day. In front of me, Gideon growled, arching his back like an angry cat while Breale fingered her thigh where the faintest outline of a concealed knife could be seen.
“Bah. I'm above a brawl.” He stepped back, his wrath somewhat quenched, and disappeared out the front door of the hall a short time later.
Fredrick hauled me up, though my legs shook almost too much to stand. Soon enough Breale and Auro were there too, surrounding me like a safety blanket. All around us, dignitaries and passerbys began to disperse, the event now ended.
“You alright?” Fredrick asked.
“Don’t let that bastard trouble you.” Breale added. “He’s just grieving, in the worst possible way.”
“Is it true, what he said?”
It doesn’t matter.
“Who cares?” Breale embraced me in a hug. “There’s no reason to dwell on the past.”
Those answers were more than enough to convince me, and I looked down at the floor, tears welling up in my vision.
It really didn’t matter, did it? I’d caused the deaths of two people on my first day here, and then spent the rest of my time here selfishly ignoring it. If Saphry was here, she most assuredly would’ve cowered with Auro under the church, and both Feanin and Baliman would still be alive. By coming here, I hadn’t just screwed with Saphry’s life, I’d ended two more. And though it wasn’t direct murder, it was almost just as bad.
And how could I possibly make up for that?
“I… I need some time alone.”
I broke away from the group and headed towards the nearest balcony outside. The guard at the door didn’t stop me, nor did any of the three follow.
…
I leaned on the railing, fiddling with one of the spare lockpicks I kept in my boot and watching the last few vestiges of fireworks explode in the city below, their ignititions now obscured by the evening mists. Above, a few gentle snowflakes drifted down from the dark sky, and the twin moons flanked the Haliborne as it floated far in the southern skies, barely visible over the mountains. To the west and northeast, the ranges stretched into the horizon, endless peaks piercing the clouds.
High above, Celrion was dimmed against the sky.
Back on Earth, I had never given a thought to killing someone. All the mages I’d challenged, all the villains I’d thought, all of them had been magical. All of their wards had held or their countermeasures worked, and none of them had left with unfixable injuries, especially with how much healing magic we had on hand. Actually, I’d technically lost a fair amount of those, and came out no worse for wear. It’d almost been like we were playing a really painful game of paintball.
So to suddenly realise that I’d already caused two deaths…
I laid my head down on the rail, looking down at the hundreds of metres of space ahead of me, trying to ignore the freezing cold.
Baliman had been a great man, a paladin who rose up the ranks to become the leader of the entire Everstar Church. Even counting my achievements back on Earth, I hadn’t done as much as he probably had. Why had he thought my life was worth his own?
Because he was selfless, of course. There really wasn’t another answer.
In comparison, what had I done? Ever since I’d gotten here, all I’d done was attempt to use people, to do whatever I could to get back to Earth. I’d even broken into places and lied to the people who trusted me. Justeo was right: how could I live with myself, acting like that?
The very least I could do was make sure their deaths were avenged.
I turned away from the railing again, ready to rejoin the party and finish my job, only to notice a shape moving rather quickly to my right, below the balcony level. On closer inspection, I could just make out a gentleman’s coat and cane.
What was someone doing outside the hall? The guards shouldn’t have let anyone out into this portion. Well, besides the conspiracy members that is, according to Taneri.
I glanced back at the hall, finding that some booming voice was attracting everyone’s attention. Probably King Esiland giving a speech.
Then, following a hunch, I quickly vaulted the railing adjacent to the keep’s wall, lowering myself down to the narrow stone path below and landing with only a small exhale. Taking one more look upwards to make sure nobody saw, I took off down the path after the man, taking my boots off along the way and sliding the lockpicks hidden there into my socks. Boots would be much too loud to tail him once we got inside.
If nobody was following him, he must’ve given the guards and the other guys the slip, which pointed pretty squarely at him being one of the plotters, which meant there was no time to waste on hesitation. Not having Gideon or the others with me was a disadvantage, of course, but I was sure I’d find another guard along the way, so I’d just get one to follow me soon enough.
And really, it was more than time I showed my worth to the conspiracy. I’d spent way too long playing the damsel and the cripple.
The man didn’t spend long outside, slipping into a side door at the end of the keep where the hall met the mountain. I lingered a time outside the steps before I entered myself, enjoying the warmth of the building when I finally did.
It was only a hallway, but somehow it managed to feel homely and comforting. Yellow heating glyphs engraved on decorative wood burned in alcoves every few metres, the white logs upon which were shaped into various shapes and forms. Several metres to my left, large wooden doors wrought with silver bindings led the way into closed rooms, while several windows in front of me looked out into a small grove hidden slightly behind the mountain. To my right, the hallway spread into the distance before turning in, the wall separating it from the city interspaced with regular windows looking out into the valleys.
Following another hunch, I hurried down the hallway to my right, my feet barely making a sound compared to the clacking of the noble’s shoes further down.
I followed for a minute or so before the clacking finally stopped, silenced by the closing of a door ahead of me. Turning the corner, it was easy to see which one it was, for the lights inside still peeked under the door.
Were there really no guards in this wing? Sure, it didn’t seem incredibly important, but that didn’t mean you just left it undefended, right?
I was torn. On one hand, going back and bringing a guard or the rest of the guys would probably be the safest option. We’d then just let Taneri’s guards burst in and stop whatever planning they were doing. Maybe even sink the plot wholesale.
On the other, it would be just my luck that they might finish while I trek back, especially since I didn’t actually know the layout of the castle I was in. I’d end up having to go all the way back to the front if I wanted to be sure to find someone, and that would take several minutes. It might be too late in that case.
God damn it. Why had I left Gideon back there? If I had him he could just fly back in with a note, and this wouldn’t even be an issue. Did this really have to happen in possibly the only moment I didn’t have the world’s smartest carrier pigeon at my side?
I argued with myself for a few more seconds before coming to a conclusion and sneaking closer to the door, my reasoning being ‘I might as well eavesdrop on the plan a bit before I went back’. I got close to the door and, finding it opened just a crack, pressed it open just a smidge more to hear.
“It should be happening any minute now.”
My eyes shot open once I heard Lord Agos’s voice. Wasn’t Fredrick supposed to be watching him? Or had… yep, Justeo and I had distracted him away. I had to suppress a growl at the realisation.
These sorts of things didn’t happen when you worked by yourself, you know.
“It’s all been set up so nicely, it’s a shame we won’t be able to see the fruits.” Said an unknown voice. “An assassination of this magnitude is pretty difficult to pull off. And blaming the other for all of it? I’ll say I won’t live to see another plan quite as genius.”
“Indeed. Though it wouldn’t have worked so well without the good captain.” Lord Agos laughed, and the others followed suit.
Good captain? Who was that referring to? Was someone in the army complicit? And what were they fabricating? And who where they planning on pinning the murder on? Andril would definitely see through a plan like that, even if I hadn’t happened to hear this.
“I didn’t expect the prince to have such a wonderful asset in his retinue, however.”
“Yes, I wonder when they’ll be arriving, actually…”
I slowly shut the door again.
There wasn’t much time left. Whatever was happening might even be already underway back in the gathering hall!
Before I could turn around however, a foot connected suddenly with my back, and I flew back into the room, where a good dozen nobles in expensive party dress lounged around. None of them looked surprised to see me, and upon my entrance I could see a few smiles crack. Even more confusingly, I found that I couldn’t find Lord Balder among everyone, nor was everyone here part of the Temoif.
Behind me, I saw a guard with the Evandal crest emblazoned upon him staring down at me, and I immediately understood what was happening.
I looked back at the nobles with my most innocent smile.
“You guys wouldn’t happen to know where the bathroom is, would you?”
Lord Agos could only offer me a sad smile filled with pity.
“Welcome to our conspiracy, Little White Witch.”