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Living my life as a F*TA (LGBTQIA+)
Chapter 16 - Inner Struggle

Chapter 16 - Inner Struggle

Chapter 16 - Inner Struggle

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Both Sis Lin and I entered her blue sports car, as she drove away from the Campus. What model it was or anything... I really couldn't focus on it.

My inner thoughts were wrecking my psyche, as they threatened to overtake my senses. But, I kept trying to push them down.

I refuse to become a puppet to my emotions!

I refuse to hurt those who are important to me.

Calm down me..

As my mind slowly settled down, I could hear Sis Lin talking beside me again.

Both of us were sitting in the front seats of the car. Wait, how would there were be any back seats in a sports car?

Hah... I need to get a grip of myself.

"Can you believe her? I mean, I just asked for a day off tomorrow and the Head Surgeon panicked! Does he thinks of me as a work slave or something? I am human too, you know? Anyways, I told him that he would have to take over for me tomorrow. I get a day off!" Sis Lin giggled in delight as she became unwinded from all the stress back at work.

I think it's obvious why she would be so tensed though. If you face deaths on a constant basis, with both parents and patients laying their hopes in your hands... it's very obvious how tense the situation would be.

Doctors are not some emotionless robots after all. They must feel sad for the patients unable to be helped by them. I really can't blame Sis Lin for ranting about all her issues...

Is that why she found a lover again? To talk about her private and work issues? To have someone close enough to let down your wall?

How... how envious!!

Darn it! My thoughts keep turning towards that direction over and over again!

No.. calm down Carene..

"And the rent is so high nowadays! People think of us Doctors to be, like Millionaires or something. Like, really? We got families too alright? They need education and other things too, and that requires money! I wasn't always so good with my finances."

Yeah... she even had to babysit me to earn some extra money. I did hear that she was great at studies too. Must be how she became a Doctor and all.

She must have studied very seriously all those years.. focusing on them completely..

Even forgetting about me in the end...

I didn't hear all of her subsequent talk as I was too busy dealing with my own feelings. It then came as no surprise that, both of us soon arrived at her home.

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Sis Lin didn't find anything weird about me as she cheerfully exited the car, as she came to my side and held the door out for me. Knowing there was no use mulling about these things, I got out of the car too. I followed behind her as Sis Lin took out the keys and unlocked the front door.

The house and furniture looked very classy and seemed to have some sort of artistic meaning to them. But, I sucked at appraising these things as my ignorant self ignored these priceless things and focused on what I found to be really priceless.

Sis Lin..

Walking inside, she took me to her living room and turned on the TV as she spoke to me,

"Here. Kill some time with it, alright? I will be taking a shower first and then cook something for the both of us. Have some juice in the meantime. We will talk about your day later then, sweetie." Sis Lin gave me a very beautiful smile as she waved her hands and left upstairs to take a bath.

Meanwhile, my eyes fell upon the newspaper and unopened juice cans on the table before me. I sat down on the sofa behind me and grabbed the TV remote to see if something interesting was up.

There was one problem though. My repressed emotions suddenly found an outlet when I realized that Sis Lin would be bathing upstairs.. all alone.

Of course, I didn't mean to harm her ever in any way... but, that doesn't mean that I can't peek a little?

Although it was very immoral and borderline criminal to do something like this, my inner self was screaming at me to act.

To reclaim what's mine... it's important to know more about someone, right?

Like, I know that she is a Doctor, and a very nice person... and that she has a lover..

A-Anyways! I don't know what she is like under her clothes, do I? And, what about her breast size? Are her nipples inverted? What about the hair down below?

So many questions.. so little time..

That's it! I cannot just sit down here and wait as Sis Lin marries some douchebag again!

I must make her see the light.. that only I am someone she ever needs..

But first! Let's try getting to know her more.

No time to waste anymore! Let's go!

...

As I steadily climbed upstairs, I tried to use the front of my toes to move sneakily and to produce no sound.

Although I never visited this place before, it's obvious where Sis Lin is. The sound of rushing water was so damn loud after all. After all, I know that she lives alone and she couldn't possibly be having sex with her lover inside the shower... right?

The bad feeling within my stomach exploded as I started to move towards the source of the sound, while desperately praying for my hunch to just be that only.

If I saw Sis Lin doing it with someone.. I think something will really break inside me...

Although I was feeling the dread deep inside me, there was also this excitement.. of wanting to see Sis Lin's mature figure. The sound of water kept bringing my desires out of control, as something started to become hard again.

As I finally reached the bathroom, I found Sis Lin's previously worn clothes put in a basket nearby. W-White panties.. they look so smooth..

It throbbed hard again, as I felt the instinctive feeling of wanting to rub it with Sis Lin's pure white panties.

"..hmm hm hmmm hm hmm~ hmm hm hmmm hm hmm~ hmm hm hmm hm hmmm~.."

At that moment, Sis Lin's voice appeared from behind a door. This one must lead towards the bathroom inside! Sis Lin is humming some beautiful melody as the sound of running water accompanied her solo session.

Such a melodious voice.. I wish to see her now.

Unable to control my desires in check, I grabbed the door handle of the sliding door and decided to test my luck to see if she forgot to lock the door.

She lives alone in this house after all... yeah, that MUST be how it is.

Then, she would often forget to lock the door before bathing. It's common sense, right? I mean, I wouldn't close the toilet door if I was alone in the house.

Heck, I might not even wear any clothes at all in that case!

So, that's how it is here too, right? Let's hope it is...

*gulp*

I gulped down the saliva collecting in my throat, as I gathered the courage within me and finally tried to push the door a little bit.

...