Once Lock sat back down in the stands, next to Ino and Kamin, he turned around to look where the cur had been previously seated. Key-word being previously. The seat was empty.
“They left.” Ino said.
“Good.” Lock responded. If they weren't present and Harald managed to successfully commit suicide, then second place would automatically fall to Mia. Unless the nobles continued on abusing their power and doing what they pleased with the tournament, of course.
However the chance was low. The first-place was unattainable to William, unless the finals turned out to be a double-kill-out. Lock didn't think the Curador, or William for that matter, were very interested in the magical academy admission.
“Anything you have to say about the way that they left?” Lock asked, at which Ino shrugged.
“They looked shaken up, as if they'd seen a ghost or something. I can commiserate, those are nasty.” He said nonchalantly, seemingly having gotten over what had happened with his match.
“Are you feeling alright?” Lock questioned further while glancing at the boy from the corner of his eyes. He looked, ok enough. His robe was ripped and he had a few scrapes from his little tumble but other than that he was the picture of health.
Well, wizardly health at least, the pallid lanky version.
His future brother-in-law sighed at the question. “What do you want to hear?” He said bitterly.
It was a good question. What did Lock want to hear? He spent a few moments thinking about it.
“I want to hear that you feel broken. Angry at how the world works. At how it works against you. I want you to realize however, that emotional reaction is a waste of energy. It is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. No, what I want to hear from you, is a vow to create or manipulate these emotions for a specific purpose, instead of simply surrendering to them as they are.” Lock said in one breath, and watched Ino sink together next to him.
“I won't lie. I feel like shit. There's a pressure on my chest, robbing the world of light and kindness. I feel hatred, however I feel as if it won't solve the issue at hand. As if it is perhaps the problem, the obstacle in my path that is preventing me from returning to normality. I understand why you say I need to let go. But I don't understand why you want me to create anew, what I would have just discarded.” He said, “What's got you all fired up anyway?” He continued, as if in jest, but his eyes betrayed that he was perhaps more interested in the answer than he wanted to let on.
Lock crossed his arms and looked down.
Harald was purposefully walking onto the platform. Outwardly, he was a picture of calm. Relaxed gait, hand on sword, eyes steady. However Lock got the feeling that there was something going on underneath the calm waters that the boy was projecting.
It reminded him of himself, almost two decades ago now. He didn't know why he hadn't noticed. But this was what he'd been missing. A life where one prescribed to oneself an arbitrary goal to be reached. Only to die, and to do it all over again.
There would perhaps be a feeling of accomplishment. But it would be deadened by the lack of true emotional connection to the task. He saw this clearly now, and for the first time in this life, instead of wanting to deal with it in a rational manner, he wanted to summon forth emotions like he'd felt them in the past, and channel them so that he could once again surrender to their uplifting power. When had he last loved, truly loved? When had he last hated something with such a burning passion that he'd attempted to exterminate the entirety of it out of existence? Years. Decades almost. Drunken off the swill called success. How typical.
“Emotions are power, drive. Some are better than others, one of the more useful ones you mentioned earlier, albeit it in a derisive manner.” Lock eventually said.
“Which one?” Ino asked.
“Hatred. Hate seems to be the most reviled emotion we are capable of feeling. But I have to wonder, if it’s so useless and unproductive, why are we still capable of feeling it, and so strongly as well? Useless things do not persist.” Lock began. “Hate can give structure to our life, Hate can give us a reason to exist. Something to strive for. Hate is energy, pure energy, provided by mother nature herself. Hate enables us to see through lies and pre-tense. Hate separates humans through animals. Animals do not hate, but humans do. Humans can hate for months, decades, sometimes even their entire lives. Hate can be passed down to our children, can remain for centuries. Hate has no borders, Humans can hate people they have never met, humans can hate concepts and processes. Hate is the greatest equalizer, even the rich can not hate more than the slave he lashes at. Hate is a sign of abstract intelligence. Without hate for slavery there can be no freedom, without hate for injustice, there can be no justice. The greatest achievements of the human race have grown from hate. Hate is one of our most powerful tools, a hidden source of our strength.” Lock finished, almost. “An underutilized one.”
All was silent between the two of them for a moment, before eventually Ino spoke. “You seem to feel strongly about the subject.” He said lightly, as if being to undiplomatic would break Lock.
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
“I guess my enamoured relationship with hatred is the result of a misspent youth.” Lock said as he watched the match down below begin, and Harald spring forward with a thunderous cry. The boy was like a wounded animal.
He sighed as Lily, the beautiful girl, drew two knives and started skilfully deflecting Harald's frenzied slashes. “Sometimes, I feel as if, with enough hate, one could even kill death.”
“I don't think the church of the Siblings will like that statement if you uttered it in their presence.” Ino commented, eyes transfixed however, on the fight below. It was indeed a sight to behold.
Harald was growing more skillful by the second. To those who did not know about the properties of his sword it must have looked like he was being guided by the hands of the war god himself. The only reason Lily was able to keep up, was because she too, seemed to be shedding layers of ennui as she fought, growing faster and more adept with her daggers by the second. It didn't look like it would make much of a difference. The swordsman was too good. Despite being slower, he was obviously cornering and pushing back the girl. She knew it too if the scowl on her face was any indication.
Lock wondered how it felt like to surrender completely to the foreign presence of the shades, as Harald must have done.
He shuddered. A disgusting thought. However, he too, if motivated enough, would spare no indignity to achieve his goal. He knew this from experience.
-/-
Why, wouldn't, she, die!?
This was the sentence that continued ringing inside Harald's mind as his body continued throwing itself forward in a masterful display of bladed murder. Were he more clear-headed he might have appreciated the skill being put on display by the shades here. An unrelenting attack with no opportunities for the opponent to strike back. Even with his inferior body he was managing to force back a woman who was clearly using some sort of magic to be that fast. Or, he thought and grew even more angry. They'd cheated even further.
He was no fool. The way Ino had lost despite giving his best, and had then run to talk with Lock in hushed tones. How his teacher had been confronted by the official of the tournament, an event which he now knew had entailed a death threat towards him if he won and accepted the first place prize.
Letting in someone who was clearly too high level for this tournament was mild in comparison to the other tricks that they'd pulled.
And the fact that Lily was higher-levelled was becoming more and more obvious as Harald's body grew more and more skillful at following the directives of the spirits.
Nobody below level ten could be this fast, her agility must have been at least 40. Still rising.
Harald took a moment to listen to the crowd, something he was allowed to do due to not having full control of the situation. He could let his mind wander. What he heard almost made him give up there and then, despite the so-called conviction and purpose that he'd found previously.
-/-
“They're cheering, the idiots.” Ino scoffed and sighed. Lock barely heard him over the noise that the crowd was making. “Don't they see the obvious fuckery going on? That woman,” he spat, “is in no way eligible to join this tournament.”
“Well, you know what they say. Bread and circus.” Lock muttered in reply while trying to determine what exact emotion he was feeling due to the situation at hand.
Nothing that would grant him a purpose that was for sure. It was mostly just a mild sense of exasperation. To be feeling a stronger emotion towards the situation he would have needed to have some expectations towards humanity in the first place. “I had no expectations going in, but yet I still feel disappointed somehow.” He muttered out as his eyes strained to track the fight going on in the arena. He could follow the sword, that was easy enough, it wasn't blindingly fast, although it definitely made up for it in skill.
Lily was a problem. The girl was jumping around like a cheetah on cocaine, and was still being pushed back.
One had to respect the power of Harald's artefact, if nothing else.
“You don't feel any hatred?” Ino asked with a forced chuckle.
Lock rolled his eyes. “At the peasants? Definitely not, one cannot hate them anymore than one can hate an ant. And the nobles? The same applies to them, just that they're mostly worthless power-addicts instead of conformist comfort-seekers.” He said.
Harald started slowing down, and with him Lily. He wondered if the boy was running out of stamina or running out of conviction. “Humans are fickle and not worthy of being a source of motivation. Hatred is most effective when used on something larger than life. It helps it from being extinguished too early.”
“Does that apply to other emotions as well?” Ino asked.
“Of course, the only reason I was talking about hatred that much is because everyone seems to, well, hate it. Love is equally powerful, the other side of the coin. Wanting to protect something, an idea, is just as good as hating something, wanting to destroy whatever threatens it. They are best used in unison however. After all, it's complementary.” He replied. Ino turned away from him and back to the fight.
The swordsman had lost his momentum and was now being forced into a duel on equal standing. Something that wouldn't last considering his waning motivation, or stamina. Or both.
Lock slowly tapped his fingers, one after the other on his helmet. What did he love? And what did he hate? It used to be a hatred of death that guided him, and a love for life. But now? How did one bring up the emotions to destroy something which represented no threat? And how did one bring up the emotions to protect something which was not threatened.
Harald's sword was struck out of his hand and he had to drop down to avoid a dagger to the temple. He scrambled towards his weapon, which was clattering to the ground not far away from him.
But before he reached it he was kicked aside viciously and made to roll away several feet. A great feat of strength for someone supposedly in the lower levels. The crowd was cheering even louder now. Harald screamed angrily as he scrambled to his feet, but sank to his knees immediately afterwards. He brought his two hands to cover his ears with an agonized expression on his face.
Lily did not approach, seemingly content at simply standing there with a slight tremble and disarrayed hair.
Loving victory and hating defeat was a given.
Emotions were necessary to determine what constituted a victory and what constituted a defeat.
As he heard Harald surrender in the background, Lock decided to spend more time on the topic in the future. Determining a proper motivation before storming after a goal was a necessity that he'd ignored for too long.
Success had made him falter, as was expected really, considering the size of the damn achievement. However proper action needed to be taken to illuminate the way forward. If this was not achieved, then his greatest success might just be turned into a greatest failure. But for now, he had other things to do.