Ahahaaaa--- Laughing onto myself as I formed up a wry smile. Staring at my unutterable features reflected onto a clean sheet of metal that I found out of nowhere.
My brows and smiles are twitching upon the sight;
Wondering what did I do wrong to deserve this kind of blight!
My appearance is not what I wanted,
pondering on this event of wretched undoing happened.
Why... god, why!!
Why must you give me this kind of body...!
Curse yooouu---!!!!
----------------------------------------
Hours earlier.
I am Winston Vickers, 27 years old. The woodcutter of the nearby village and at the same time a wood artisan, I have been in this occupation ever since I dropped out of college of Fine Arts degree several years ago. I do not have the slightest intention to find another job even though there are better-paying occupations out there that only requires a person to be a high school graduate.
This job suits my tastes the best since it's full of leisure and serene environment where I wouldn't get stressed at all. Even if my budget is in the red, I would still choose this occupation.
I could always and always depend on my parent's insurance money that they left of me to consume, and sometimes, on my parent's relative's sent cash.
And not to mention, this woodcutting business I am in right now is my family's historic business that has since existed during the 12th Century.
By far, this is the oldest and smallest business that ever existed in the whole world's business history. Though it never gets revealed because... It's located in the far rural areas of Scotland wilds. Although several wars and conflicts happened, they still remained untouched... Oh, wait. A mistake. I remembered a lot of bullet holes belonging to some 7.92mm rifle near the sawmill..!*
*(Different timeline where German soldiers fully occupied the whole of Europe and invaded Britain before being decimated by infinite numbers of Russian.)
The shop contained all sorts of ancestral objects that apparently belong to Medieval times, hell, there was even a lot of relic dusty armors and weaponry in the basement.
Ranging from in-a-good-condition crossbows, swords, lances, and even the mighty 11th century Gothic armors* to bucket-headed Crusader armors. I did have the intention of selling these relics because they are worth more than a million bucks!
But since they are our ancestor's belongings, I didn't have the thoughts of actually doing it... God knows what might await me upon selling these family ancestral objects!
*(Vickers: my family was a Noble household of proud Knights so its normal for armor to belong in my basement way beyond before the shop was even founded.)
My relatives also often poke their heads onto it, they nag me about the location of the armors... It seems they want to sell it and weren't informed about its whereabouts.
WELL... Unfortunately for both of us, me and my relatives. I lost the key. And the lock was a twofold meter thick steel rusty bar that even high caliber guns would give up upon seeing the sight of. I mean, there are several marks of a bullet ricocheting from it though... They are large enough to be considered as shot by high caliber guns.
And even I had the key, I won't be telling them about it because... You know. It's our ancestor's items! You can go kiss your jobby bottocks first before you take them away from the shop!
The budget situation in the shop is quite quiet. Only the local people buy my family's woodworks and lumber, and barely any people outside the village come to buy our works. Maybe one to three people from the cities buy here every three years I think..? After all, this is a shop located in the wilds, no people from the city would dare to go here just to buy simple woodworks!
I mean, who would go through our shop's eerie and shady woods path? Walking through the trail looked like it came out of a horror movie if it wasn't for the 'friendly' shop signs littered across the pathway leading to our shop. Even it is in the day time, it's still spooky as heck! Also for me who have been working in the shop for many years is still horrified of this path so I often spend day and night in the shop instead of going back to my house in the village.
Oh about the insurance? Yeah, I lost my family a long time ago before I even started going to college. My Father died in a terrible car accident and my Mother died from the grief and committed that... Business. She was suffering from a chronic depression from the start and never had any intention of living on further if it wasn't for Father's guidance.
I am the only son of the family and my parent's relatives don't want another burden in their family affairs. So they never had the intention of inviting me in and instead sent me small amounts of money as their compensation and 'act of conscience to their lost loved ones'.
I grieved for their death of course and up until now, I miss their presence and parental love. But there's no point in crying in any more further on dead's man corpse other than to relinquish your regrets. It's not like they will come back to life if you keep lamenting and crying about them, alright?
It's only a fortunate thing that I managed to survive on my own without the help of my relatives and it was a good thing Father saved a hell'a ton of money before he met his undesirable end. It was as if he was anticipating that something bad might happen in the future and decided to take things in advance in preparation.
Annd.... Right now...
I am cutting a tree.
A very...
Very big and tall tree!
Its trunk is wider than any six of all bear species combined!
My god... Why am I cutting this-
With my small and rusty ax!
Funny as it is, this is my first time cutting a tree.
For over the years I have been working in the shop, I have been using the stockpiled lumbers in the storage. I did not had the courage to cut down trees for my own experience until recently.
The stockpile ran out of fine lumbers that could be actually used for both wood and aesthetic woodworks purposes, only firewood remained in the stockpile and nothing else more...
Other than firewood and an extremely old and conditioned antique Volkswagen car and derelict wreckage of Leichtractor, there are no other else usable. The Volkswagen car still had its plastic cover on its seats and its turtle figure is still covered in a dusty car cover so it's still brand new appearance.
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The shop has in fact, a lot of treasures that could be sold for glorious amounts of money... No. I won't be selling them! They are a part of our ancestral history and will always be part of my family!
Back on tracks. Heaving my roughy breath and fatigued body, I slashed my ax onto the trunk of the big tree for a second time and then...
SCRAASEEH !!!!! (Sound of a tree leaves rustling.)
My eyes and mouth widened at the leaning tree, I stared onto it for a while before nervousness caused my arm to palpitate and lose grip onto my ax which heavy handle fell onto my feet.
"BLOODY BOABY WANKER!!!" I screamed in pain before I had the intention to pick up the ax off my feet and massaged it out of pain. But...
SCHRESSSHHH..!!!!
Something's amiss...
The tree was leaning towards me further and further until...
SCRHHHHHHHHHHEEESSSHH!!!!!
Wait...
WAIT!
"YA'RE JOLTING TO THE WRONG DIRECTION!!!!"
BOOOM..!!!
----------------------------------------
Alright. At this time, I did something wrong.
A laughable mistake that caused my life. A very... VERY HILARIOUS mistake.
... Much worse than the decision of dropping off the university-aaaaa!!(tone of someone cringing)
I was cutting the tree in front of it. Not on the sides. But in front of it.
IN. FRONT. OF. IT.
Not to the damn sides where you are supposed to be positioned at and start chopping, but in front of the tree where you are not supposed to be standing upon.
I didn't know the methods to cut a tree, so, therefore, I tried by standing in front of it and started chopping it by swinging the ax overhead... Why did I not consult the internet before I made the decision of cutting the damned tree!?
It caused the tree's body to lean onto the spot where it was being cut and eventually, falling into my ignorant self.
I remembered reading about a certain magazine about finding the fourth tallest tree in Britain. The conifer.
And that tree that fell onto me actually resembled the appearance and tall figure of the conifer!!!
... I feel like Father is laughing onto me and Mother getting even more depressed in a disbelief manner... Maybe even Grandfather that I didn't have the chance of meeting... Or even my Great grandfather.
I mean, who would cut a conifer tree in a modern world with only a damned rusty ax? No wonder I got too exhausted and queried my bloody cocked-up head as to why my ax hasn't dug deeper into the tree's trunk yet at the first strike! It took me a second strike before I managed to penetrate its trunk..!
I am a stupid roaster!
"Pfffttpfff--- Wheeze-- Ghuehaahaa-!!!" A peal of wheezing kept laughter suddenly sprang out in this dark dimension I am in right now. According to some Religions, this might be the purgatory where dead souls await their judgment. "Oh, you. Scottish man. You have indeed the humor that the world of the gods is in need right now!" The voice added.
The voice perfectly resembled my voice over the line. It was as if my voice was recorded before I came to be in this dark dimension! Although it sounds like it came out of a recording device, it did not come out of a device, don't take my words literally!
Who? Me in the dead world?
"Ghaha, no. Scottish man. I am the god who overseers the planet Terraisus or in your language, Earth. I only use your voice as a medium to have proper communications to you because my voice is too inappropriate and too powerful for your weak soul... Thou- Pfftt~ Wheeew.- Though! I did least expect to be witnessing an end of a person who was taught properly by modern standards, by a measly hundred years old tree upon my awakening! Ya shoold've worked as a Twally-washer instead of some woodcutter. It is safer that way."
"I still can't get over it... Pffhehehehettt!!! Imagi- Imagine, this. Alright? Imagine this. You just woke up, and then, this. You suddenly saw a person trying to pish a large tree with an ax that is SWUNG overhead! And then-!! GAHAHAHA- Next thing you knew He got fallen by the same bloody hell of a bugging tree! Numpty head, Scottish man! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA~~!!!!!"
Oi, that's mean!
"Nanana, Scottish man. I am grateful for ya, alright? I brew no contempt against ya, yes?" the other me said in a laughing 'twat' manner. "As gratitude for ya meticulous actio... Ffhhhfhhahaha-... Actions! Yeah! I will be granting you another life in another world."
... Another life in another world!? Ya ain't kidding right?
"Yeyeye. Ya is in search of a loving dovy leisurable life right? Don'tcha lie to me Scottish man, I can read ya wanking mind, alright?"
Indeed, I was looking for much peaceful and less effort-consuming jobs. Woodworks require patience and strength after all. I am a former fine arts student, so work that requires that degree of patience is almost nothing to me.
"... And please forgive me, Scottish man. Although it is only me that witnessed ya hilarious death... I kind of shared it with other people- I mean gods... This has to do with your second life gift, alright?"
Hang un, ya did wha!?
"Ya see, as a prideful gad of Terrasius, I seek attention the most! I kind of connected that portion of my memory of that incident to the minds of all sixteen trillion gods around the universe of Terra... And funny as it is, one of the goddesses that overseer the magical worlds in Magic Dimension offered ya arse a second chance in her world after seeing ya miserable wallaper person!"
... M, m, magical world??? Ya mean worlds filled with sorcery that is called Magic like in Harry Potter with floating brooms!?
"Yea yea yea! That's why I told you, you won't be dying in vain and be revived to another world in another body different from your... Uh, dead body! Funny Scottish man, you could wank another bloody duffer tree in another world again! Wooohoo how great it is!"
"Y'all know once ya get there alright, it has been a good lengthy conversation, Scottish man. Nice meeting ya!"
Wait, I have a question!
Upon my words, the world around me flashed with blinding light twice before a warp appeared right in front of me. The voice did not speak any further as the warp sucked me in, slowly and slowly until I could feel my 'hands' inside its tunnel of pure turbulence. State of uneasiness wrapped around my heart and anxiousness permeated up into my mind...
The cause of this state of uneasiness?
"-- I HAVE A BOLTING QUESTION YOU WALLY TOSSER SWINE!"
... Was because of my question remained unanswered...
I wanted to ask you a god damn question about the world I am arriving to!!! Ya shitty numpty of a god!
Ahhh!!!- I screamed loudly as possible as I could before the portal engulfed my whole figure...
It took a brief second before I came to reality. My senses darkened for some time right after I entered the portal... Or precisely, sucked into the portal before I felt my body warm, my overall senses were gradually coming into awakening. My veins snapping and flowing with vibrant blood.
That is the moment I arrived at the world that the numpty of a god told me of...
Another life... Another chance.
... I hope I won't be dying of trees again!
----------------------------------------
"That ain't right." A familiar figure with a very oddly familiar voice said while rummaging through his head. "... My body... I feel like I lost something!"
"What is it? What is it!?!?"
"Shut up Terrasius. You are bothering my sleep!" A woman said while poking her head out of a familiar red planet. Her features are indistinct and only her starry azure night sky hair and starlight blue eyes could only be seen. Though even with her facial features hidden, her expression could be seen and definitely told the man named 'Terrasius' her bothered emotion.
"I am missing something, Mars! Seriously!! I need your help! Help me search for the missing something!"
"What did you miss!?"
"SoMeTHiNG! Something very important that I couldn't decipher. Honestly, I really don't have any idea what the hell did I miss!"
"..."
The woman who was named Mars stared onto the panicking figure of Terrasius with contempt. She gave herself a sigh before she ignored Terrasius, tucked herself asleep and plugged her ears with Redstone rocks. Terrasius did not notice Mar's actions and continued searching for the 'missing' part.
And only at this moment, which took him a whole minute to find and for humanity; 60 years. Terrasius found the missing part.
"M... My Terrasius' technology... The modern technology of Humanity... it's gone!"
"And that guy's house, it's gone too!!! Oh my god, my people are in disarray now. They are back to Medieval Age! NOOOO!"
"NO! STOP FIGHTING PEOPLE!!!... AGHH..! YOU GOT ME AGAIN, LITALA!! THAT'S THE SECOND TIME YOU GOT MY WORLD'S TECHNOLOGY! I. HATE. YOU. SO. MUCH!!!"
"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!"
In a galaxy far far away- no. I mean in a Dimension separate from the original Dimension where magic existed. A young lady with indistinct features similar to Mars swam about along with her extremely huge planet that has the features similar to Earth and twice the size of Jupiter, giggled softly while holding a figure of a familiar gadget. A 21-inch gaming laptop.
"Now then, I guess with the job of directing that poor guy's soul to my world done. I could enjoy the Anime and Games I waited for six billion years in my autonomous world! Geeehee, thanks Terrasius!"
"Come think of it... That soul I directed to my world..."
"He got his house and a copy of the human's technology... Right?"
"Aaaa, nevermind. It's not like my business to take care of him, right now. Games and Animes are the priority!!"