~~~ Chapter 26 - Trick Or Treat In The Mountain ~~~
Celebi, the forest deities who play with time like a toy, are terrified of the fucking Lake Guardians. They won't go to places that they know Uxie, Mesprit, or Azelf have ever been. Luckily, the groups tend to stay in one spot. The storm birds—Zapdos, Articuno, Moltres, get in their own squabbles and start storms the size of islands. Ho-oh, whom I personally met, will burn entire cities down with its, well, admittedly, renewing fires. Darkrai and Cresselia are probably the least likely to accidentally kill us all, they have their own problems.
If we were born two thousand years ago, we’d be praying to Thundurus for rain. Then, we learned the gods didn't always have our best interests in mind. But now? Now, we know better! We have begun to pray to Kyogre for rain instead!
Idiots, the lot of us. I hope Kyogre washes us off the map.
— Lyra, Opelucid University PhD student, Kanto and Johto ex-champion
~~~
With Bonk’s help after breakfast, my silk had rapidly restored, and we finished the last pieces of my new armor, to the detriment of the trees we slept on. Lanky opened the door, and all ten of us leaf-bugs went outside. Krokorok and Scraggy came too, Skorupi and Venipede were happy to stay in the shade and cover of the trees. The atrium doors were held open by doorstops which dug ever-so-slightly into the dirt.
Soaking in the morning sun, the seven remaining swaddles flitted about. I would need to come up with names for the last girls and boys. I clicked in distaste. They’d have to prove their worth for names. I promise it’s not just because I’m lazy, pinky-swear!
A few purple blobs like balloons floated in the sunny morning sky, crossing to the northeast.
"Leah!" Lanky called, soft smells of potassium wafted my way as I did. He stood near the outdoor ring. Sundress-girl on the other side, this time wearing shorts and a tank top. She called out, and her krokorok came to her side, facing me. Bonk, Leaf, and the rest of the swaddles watched.
Ugh, I bet they’re expecting some kind of spectacle again, aren’t they?
The girl spoke, and immediately her krokorok rushed at me. "Return!" Lanky shouted.
Wait, what?
"Return!" the girl shouted, just as her krokorok plowed into me, knocking me down onto the dirt. Immediately, krokorok turned around, fleeing to its owner.
Oh! Oh. I walked to Lanky. He pulled out a piece of dried banana from a bag, and gave it to me. I get it.
We repeated that exercise a few times, letting each ‘fight’ take longer and longer, until the krokorok started actually pushing me out of the ring. Eventually, the food started disappearing. I knew this trick. On the one hand, I was losing to a stupid crocodile ripoff. On the other hand, this exercise was just stupid. I can’t read your mind, Lanky.
But I can taste the sweet scents of anticipation in this dense air.
From the city came some shouts, followed by horns. More purples floated, heading the same direction as earlier. Intermingling among them, pink and blue dots floated in the sky, birds staying well clear. Krokorok stood directly across from me. Sundresser spoke. Her and Krok, well, my entire sight line both shimmered, shifting slightly back. The air felt thick, almost soupy. But no one stopped our battle.
I adjusted my stance. Sundresser shook her head. Shadows had grown a bit deeper. She was too far, the shadow extending down her face, too dark for my eyes to see her expression. Krokorok rushed at me once more. All it had been this whole exercise session were tackles. I was ready to win! I pulled, activating my energy stores.
Krokorok approached. "Slash!" Lanky sang. I sidestepped. Krokorok adjusted. I dashed to the side, lowering my blades, turning them blade-side up. Krokorok rushed into me, I braced for impact, digging the tarsi on my legs into the dirt as the croc threatened to flatten me into the ground. The slam I’d felt ten times before hit me just as hard as before, but that time I just skid back. Without the boost in speed from the sun, it was the best I could do.
Before the krok could dash back after its failed attack, I lifted up my blades, the damn thing had to be twice my weight. Unfortunately for it. I threw the krok over my head, blades cutting into its leathery, scaly skin, tossing it to the edge of the ring. I dashed. The air wobbled again, scents had turned slow. Not letting the krok recover, I launched one good kick to push it that last step out.
Sirens in the city roared right as I impacted my opponent, forcing them out of our challenge circle. My head rang at the shill vibrations in the air, falling to the ground. Before I could recover, a Celebi was in my face, and the world around us was frozen gray.
"W-W-Whew!" they said into my mind. "You k-k-know how hard i-it was to find you!?! Cebi told m-me where y-you were, but n-never w-when!"
Something was off about them, but I couldn't place exactly what it was.
H-Hello, I said over our link. I was mildly excited to see a celebi again, after being, well, ghosted, but they had chosen a rather peculiar time to show up again. Who are you, and where is Cebi?
"S-Silly, it’s not where! It’s w-when! When is C-C-Cebi! And right now, she’s outside. And my name’s Lebi! Anyway, I’m in a bit of a hurry. C-Cebi t-told me to t-tell you-" They paused. "Cebi t-told me to t-tell y-you. U-u-um." Lebi's eyes were wet.
Did you forget what she wanted you to tell me?
"N-N-No!"
It can’t be that important, can it? A Celebi in a hurry? They had less control over time than I thought. But it was a nice diversion. These fights I had been doing with Krokorok felt… empty? Sure, they were fine as exercises, and I was re-learning a few words here and there, but…
"K-K-Kinda?"
No. I’m not that important. I’m just a bug, and if you can’t see, I was training. Training! Important pokemon don’t train! They don’t have trainers! And why is Cebi "outside" of when? You don’t make any sense.
"Y-Y-Yes t-they a-a-all do too t-train! A-a-nd it’s hard to explain! And I-I don’t have time!"
Rushing me isn't going to work. Celebi could freeze time, I already knew that, and could see that by seeing the world around us was colored gray—and I knew from looking up YouTube videos when playing HeartGold that they could also take passengers—had Cebi taken me to a different time? But Lanky had been there too, and he didn't seem to remember anything that had happened. Not that I was the best at reading faces.
Time travelers shouldn't be in a rush. I wouldn't say I was the most genre-savvy, but…
Regardless, this had been what I was waiting for? Okay, that was kind of a lie. Well, half-truth. I didn't really start thinking of leaving the nest until I. It was instinctual, really. Getting tired of waiting for a call to action back in the nest. I had made my own call to action instead. Why then? Why did Lebi choose that particular moment to show up?
"C-C-Cebi says she’s sorry." Drops of water fell from their face. Tears. Faking tears would be a Dark Type thing… Lebi did not manage to hit a single empathy-center. Did bugs have an advantage against Dark moves? Or Lebi was being honest and I just couldn't trust my instinctual interpretation of emotions.
"C-Cuz s-s-she made Dialga mad a-and c-c-can’t come see you. She’s in t-the time o-out-s-side."
Oh God, I threw my arms up. Should I be swapping that for Arceus?
"S-S-She w-was s-s-supposed to h-help P-P-Palkia. N-N-Now s-s-she n-needs y-your help."
Yeah, this had technically been what I had been looking for this whole time. That goddamn call to adventure. And right away it deals with gods that could just delete me with half a glance. Maybe less. See, Dialga was the pokemon god of time. Palkia, their counterpart, the god of space. Member of the creation trio. Diamond and Pearl games, respectively. I never played them, but that was what was on their cases. Seeing a celebi's power in person, and knowing that Dialga was probably ten times as powerful?
Being a pokemon and being not-deleted is pretty great, you know. I was at the start of my story, and someone wanted me to jump in at the end of theirs.
"Look! Y-you don't have to actually fight Dialga or Palkia! I just n-need you to go into the mountain and h-h-help the g-g-guy with the absol."
It would be a good diversion from the training, at least. And it sounded like it would be a relatively short diversion…
"I-I'll g-get you t-that cherry c-conditioner s-sauce." Lebi said.
Of course I’ll help her. What does she want me to do? Wait. No. Not that—
Lebi sworled in the air around me, clapping their tiny little hands. "Ooh! T-That’s great! C-Cebi said she knew she could count on y-you!" Lebi's eyes immediately dried the moment I'd agreed. Fuck.
Okay, so what do I need to do?
"W-Well, a-about the f-forgetti s-spaghetti."
I buried my face in my leaf-blades at Lebi’s response. They were fake tears. There was something off about the whole thing.
Is it related to these sirens?
"Yes!" Lebi silently said, the little forest sprite, about the size of my head, smiled and nodded. It wouldn’t be the last thing I’d wing. The view was mountainous, the very air thick, soupy and moving strangely, yet I wasn't panicking or trying to breathe through my mouth.
And? I asked. A girl in a pink skirt and white hat dashed past me, not even glancing at me. A plethora of ghost-type pokemon lay on the ground. The girl shouted, throwing a pokeball out, before everything froze, the world turned gray again, the shape of a giant penguin forming in front of her, facing down two guards in white and gray outfits, with crests of gold. They looked like your typical evil pokemon team, though I couldn't place which one.
Everyone knew Team Rocket. And I knew Team Plasma's dorky knight uniforms from Black and White 2. But I didn't know these peeps.
"It’s now! And here!" Lebi shouted into my head.
You’re not timeline-hopping to try and find different versions of me until one succeeds for this are you?
"W-what-t!?! N-N-No! Our powers don’t work like that!" Lebi said.
Well, I guess here goes nothing, I guess, I silently say, rubbing my blades and clicking. Walking to the edge of our little time chamber. The air really was thick, and the number of ghosts around were far, far too high.
You’re going to be here when I get back, right? Oh, and what is in this air?
"Y-Yes! Of course! I have some other things I need to do, but I’ll be back! And that stuff blasting out the entrance? It’s distortion! Anyway, I can’t stay in this place for l-long, it’s t-too t-thick for me. I’ll be t-there when and where you get out though!" Lebi said, disappearing.
A shadow in the gray sky drifted above, as that girl’s penguin plowed through the guards of the entrance they surrendered practically immediately to her emperor penguin’s brute force. Without even a glance, the girl was already gone.
~~~
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Believe it or not, there are a few people who interact with Darkrai regularly enough that his speech is up-to-date. He and Cresselia have a pretty good relationship with Cresselia.
~~~
No yeah, seriously though. So here I am, standing right outside the entrance of this thick fucky shit spewing out of the side of a mountain.
What. the. actual. fuck.
I stepped out from under the shadow to see a purple balloon dip, phasing into the ground. More than one large, green lizard-like pokemon with heads the shape of stealth bombers skimmed the ground, presumably eating the things that distorted the air. The two guards at the front of the entrance hadn’t quite noticed me, breaking themselves free of the ice, then their red-and-black fox-type pokemon as well. They looked at each other.
God, this place is crawling with ghosts.
Was I special? Probably not, to be honest. One of the guards pulled out a pokeball, and a pressure passed over my mind. The pokemon pulled out had a purple and yellow-dotted midsection, standing on two white flippers, its main body in a kind of bulbous v-shape. It looked like an upside-down squid, purple, semi-transparent tentacles coming out the top like hair.
"Ah know yur there, darlin’," it spoke into my head. I hopped back, hiding behind a small bush as a tree-stump-like ghost passed by.
"Come out and show yurself hon, we got bigger problams than hurtin’ a bitty bug." One of the trainers shouted, a beam of dark shot past, nailing the stump, pushing it away. I stepped forward.
They had let that girl in with only a bit of resistance, just so they could keep the entrance clear.
I drew closer, stepping out of the brush, walking toward the squid.
These pokemon.
"That’s a good girl. Hon, yur doin’ fahn." That disarming, classic southern drawl. "Now I aint no bugscent smeller nor no buggie psychawlo-gest, so ah cant tell what chur thinkin’ but ah reckon you ain’t from ‘round these parts," she said to me before launching a wave of black water at one of the ghostly lizards that had drawn too close. "Nahther me nor fawxy here are neither." The trainers glanced at me, a waft of high-density sweets in the air, rolled from inside, beckoning me in. I stepped closer, into the view of the trainers, who paused, in matching white and gray uniforms. They looked at each other, speaking a few words.
"We’re in what the humies call a mass oatbreak. Lotsa pokes drawn to the same place and eventchally somethin’ stupid happens," she said. The trainers held out their thumbs at each other, speaking and then playing some kind of game, rolling them in various directions, only matching ‘up’ and ‘down’, before stopping.
I stepped closer to the upside-down squid. What sun there was still felt pretty good, rhythmic chanting and occasional roars from inside the mountain aside.
"Don’ worry gal, they can all tell ya ain’t wild, ya ain’t runnin’ off the mountin like the smart’uns prolly did."
I took a breath, the air full of this thick substance they had called distortion. It flowed through and around everything, our only saving grace being it flowed down the mountain, following the grooves in the earth. It distorted light as it rolled past, like a magnifying glass causing light to shift and bend.
I stepped forward. I wasn’t being attacked by the ghosts. Why would I attack them? The fox walked up to me, sniffing me, wearing a black domino-style mask that jutted off its sides. I knew these pokemon. The trainers eyed me, before one spoke, commanding the fox to do something. The fox puffed on me, a slight metallic on my antennae. It was not a curious smell or sniff. The metallic stuck around, slight bits of pheromone mixed with the smelltaste of copper. It was marking me. It then ignored me, and ran back, pushing a balloon out and away from the entrance.
The ghosts barely paid us or the trainers any mind, as they drifted into the mountain. An earth-shattering roar emanated from the mountain top, covered in snow and ice, surrounded in clouds, up above, far above, great details blurring off into smudges of black, white, and grey of the mountain top. I rubbed my blades together, my abdomen vibrating in anticipation. Was I really supposed to be one to go inside? Follow after that girl? I looked at the southern squid, who paid me no mind as I paused right near the entrance, standing out of the bulk of the spewing distortion.
"Ah reckon’ some god’s challenge ya’ ta go into that stuff, huh?" she asked.
Is it that obvious? How else would a leavanny end up on a mountain, right as something big, probably related to one of the games I never played, went down?
"Now babe, don’t be gettin’ all tangled up in them tentacruel games. Thay show up outta nowhere, tell ya ta do somethin’ impossible, then laugh ta’ themselfs as ya spill all your ink just ta do it. Yu’ll be wonderin’ if it’s a big ol’ joke or if big ol’ deer askd ya ta turn all topsy-turvy tah save the world," she said, shoving an approaching pack of the floating tree-stump pokemon to the side.
She had a point. And I knew Lebi for less time than this squid lady…
I paused. Why did I leave the nest originally? Because you wanted to do something important. This stuff isn’t supposed to happen unless you’re important! I remember playing the games. I know these pokemon. What was my name? My name is L-Leah. I stared at the purple squid, blasting with water another purple balloon. I. Know. These. Pokemon. I looked at the fox. I knew their faces. I knew their smells.
"Before ya go in there and get yaself killed and poisoned, us darks, ghosts, and psychics don’t get the jeebs like you do, little squib," her eyes glowed, "but if ya see a floatin’ punkin’, trickin' and treatin'" — they were a jacko-lantern with pink leaves for hair and a long head, with a pair of brown bat-like plants beside it, on smaller gourds, with two glowing gold-ish orange eyes — "join ‘em in their dance and won’t have nothin’ to worry ‘bout the distortion, but whatever’s makin’ 'm angry. We’ll be in after ya, show’s ‘bout over."
I paused at the entryway, the two trainers had pulled out two more pokemon and pulled the fox back to take a break.
"Go on now, git," she said, spraying me right in my armored thorax with a small stream of water, pushing me into the dark doorway. The air immediately turned crisp and chill. The little bit of daylight had been nice, but nowhere near enough.
"Eeeaaaa," I moaned, clicking, hopping into the waves of distortion. Visually, the first hall was twisted, shifting unevenly. Wires ran along the walls, the lights had gone out, water and ice marring the ancient carved stone. The packs of pokemon seemed to have recovered. I rubbed my blades together. I looked up above, lights of litwick dancing, marks of little pieces of wax and fire telling a sordid tale.
I entered a large, fractured room, with multiple chandelure. Pieces of gray void filling the fracturous gaps. I followed the wire of the lights, as they told the tale I probably needed to follow. A stump floated through the wall, grasping at my battle-skirt with a wandering vine. I skipped forward a bit faster, not sure what I was expected to do. My grip on the solid, carved floors wasn’t the best. I groaned.
If only I had thought to bring my purple shoes. Am I really supposed to be helping a god of spacetime? If pokemon gods were more like children with reality-altering powers…
I wondered, hopping up and across the warped and fractured walls, somehow always slipping past the dark voids below.
Then I’m pretty much fucked. I had half a mind to stop and turn around and just wait for Lebi to return. Fuck, do any of the gods actually listen to prayers? Hello? A little help? Arceus, maybe?
No response came. How about you, Cresselia? Darkrai? No, they would only talk in dreams. At least, that’s what I knew.
"How do you know that?"
Sleeping here probably wouldn’t be the best either. My dress insulated me from the chill, and the soft lights generated some bits of energy, but it wasn’t nearly enough. As I walked, I’d close my eyes if I could, but my senses knew which way was down, even as I moved from one large, fractured chamber into a hall, using the wires as my guide. I ascended some stairs under the dim glowing light of the etchings of the ruins.
Trusting my senses I ascended, the stairs split in two, one going left, the other turning straight up, inverting on itself. I followed the wires, slipping on a small bit of moisture left over from the girl. I made it to a landing, where the stairs ended. A sweet earthy aroma entering the air, I continued my crossing.
More of the etchings and markings along the walls ahead let out a bright flash, and multiple pokemon whimpered, spasming in the light, a chandelure lying on the ground emitting a circular wave of fire in anger, torching the ground around it, singeing a wet shuppet, the rest of the flames buffeted only by the remains of ice and water. The flash had provided a burst of energy that invigorated my leaves.
The mountain rumbled. The bodies of fainted ghosts told quite the tale. This had been going on for some time. A sticky, wet chill rolled up the back of my head, purple hands glowed, I took a step away and slipped, the haunter’s smile, another glow of haunting, eerie purple, I scrambled on my legs, slipping as I ran away, barely dodging their follow-up attack. This was no place to stop, no place to rest.
I navigated the broken floors, running through packs of disorienting and angry ghosts, dodging flames and random lashes, the lights glowing and flashing, the rhythmic vibrations turning atonal every time the light decided to hit, each wave accompanied by some kind of pain. This monstrous labyrinthe. Running and slipping and sliding and looping and jumping and twisting and skidding, up and down crests and across bridges I ran as fast as I could, leaving the long string of dim wires and lights behind.
Why am I even here?
The world around me twisted, and I was upside down. I twisted my blade up and as it went down, I heard shouts, even amidst ghosts.
What am I even supposed to do? This is all so stupid!
The world around me spinned, I entered a large room, strangely held together in this fading shifting void. Shouting and battles shattered crystals along the wall, with each break in the lights everything faded, and the opponents shifted a million miles away as the room lost its cohesion in the endless distortion.
I walked forward, spinning around. I was tiring, but I pursued them in the broken dark, slipping, sliding, tripping and stumbling. Pausing only when I entered into the orange light of dancing gourgeist, the pokemon that I knew. Together we stumbled and fell, and they observed me with curiosity. The cold mountain air had a hint of sugar and wax, one entered my lap, staring into my face. They beckoned me to join their dance.
And so I did. Together through the room, we danced, and I consumed and tasted the nectar in the air. In circles we ran down the halls and up stairwells, time stood still for our few fleeting moments. I knew these pokemon. I no longer slipped, I no longer fell, down was down and up was up, and together the ghosts saved my life. We swam together dancing in the food which pervaded the air, the angry white light had finally dimmed, each reducing from the fight between the absol and the penguin, all the while the mountain tearing and groaning from within.
I tasted the red metallic anger of gods in the air. The mountain rumbled, once more, and there I stood, breathing in distortion like food, slight drips of orange and purple fading off my body, orange light following where I floated.
This whole thing’s supremely stupid.
Through the vents in my abdomen and through the airway in my mouth, I breathed, sucking in the surprising energy that came, replacing what had been lost to the chill of the upper mountain air. Our dance passed, the gourds lost interest in me, resuming their own passing, halloween fun. The southern squid had been right.
I left the room, and wandered about, following bodies of knocked out or otherwise gored ghosts. These weren’t random lashings. I glided past the body of a kid, later a pair of women, and finally an older teen. Bodies, all in the same white and gray uniform, a sneasel and weavile clearly were overwhelmed by the ghosts that had been lashing out by the angry light. The rooms were broken, but the distortion still followed the rooms and halls of the walls. I passed a downed pawniard, following the sound of silent screaming and crying that tore through the discordant echoes of the chanting mismagius and misdreavus.
On the ground was a small ghost, they had three legs and half a tail, broken wings, covered in pieces and dashes of yellow, silently screaming and motionlessly writhing, calling out in pain, blocked by the barriers which made up the labyrinthe, seemingly designed explicitly to torture the ghosts it lured inside. On the ground it was surrounded by empty and torn pieces of cloth, covered in slashes and bitemarks, purple, black and yellow.
Small as a swadly, the pokemon needed healing. Being here had felt kind of right. I floated down, gingerly picking them up. Quietly cooing to them, I carried them out and through the halls, past the devastation of the floor and down. I passed the squid as she and her cohorts eyed me and the creature in my care. The fox growled at me, holding the ghostly child. The squid stared silently. I paid them no heed, dodging past a stray blast of dark energy that haphazardly flung my way. Either their trainers didn’t see me or they decided I wasn’t worth the effort.
My little partner wouldn’t leave me. Pulling them outside, I found some oran berries from foraging and fed them to the child, no ghosts gave us trouble. I waited with the child, sewing them a satchel of leaves I could carry the kid within.
"Hey! You made it out! Good Job!" Lebi said, resting on top of a thick bush, "but, uh, what’s that? You weren’t supposed to bring anyone back out."
I eyed the little shit, looking back down at the kid, which had morphed, their shape exactly like a sleeping sewaddle.
It’s my kid, I said, trying to drip as much sarcasm into it as I could.
"Oh my goodness! I didn’t realize how much time it would take!"
You knew what was going to happen, didn’t you, I accused, feeding the child some more berries, their heart going silent without the ghosts.
And you even know who this is, don’t you? I know these pokemon. Cebi can read my mind, and you can too.
Lebi fidgeted a bit on the branch.
"W-Well I, I, uh. I—Maybe I l-l-left out a c-couple d-details."
Yeah, you did. You ARE going to take us back to the gym, right?
"Of course! We always keep our promises! We just didn’t expect you to come out wi—"
Take us back there now, please, I interrupted.
And right back to the moments before you picked us up. I don’t want that girl or anyone to know anything even happened.
"Y-Yes, ma’am."
In a blink, we were back at the gym, the world was gray, everyone but us and Lebi stalled out. The sun was rising, and ghosts were in the air. I tapped the sleeping eldritch-sewaddle-child on the nose, setting them on a tree, out of everyone’s view, letting the child sleep. Lebi blinked, and then dropped a bottle of cherry conditioner on the ground. Its scent stopped its wafting, stalled with time.
I’d be stupid not to know it’s Giratina’s kid. But that labyrinthe was no place for childcare. It had been a prison.
"You know, Palkia and Dialga aren’t gonna be happy about this," Lebi said, sighing.
Lebi, I’m a fucking bug, and you sent me into that labyrinthe, to do what? Egg on some grudge between three gods that can, as I said earlier, delete me? And, what, did Palkia not actually need my help?
"N-N-No, you were s-s-supposed to s-s-stop the g-g-girl."
What kid!?! This one!?! I’m not going to be some assassin or patsy for you and the other gods! Look at me I’m just a leavanny!
"For Arceus’ sake no, you weren’t supposed to—you know what, n-n-never mind. I don’t have to listen to this! Bye!" Lebi disappeared. The world turns back to color, the krokorok stumbles out of the ring.
Lebi reappeared, "A-A-And b-b-by the way, C-Cebi doesn’t a-actually l-like y-y-you. S-She just f-f-felt b-bad f-f-for y-you," Lebi disappeared again, the world around me went from gray, to full color and full scent, the roar of the sirens starting from a deep pitch and increasing to their normal frequencies.
I couldn't help but feel like I'd done the right thing—the squid lady was right. I just wanted to live my life and be happy. If that meant taking my own path? So be it—Lebi could pound sand.