Rehearsals for interviews weren’t like typical rehearsals. Walter handed his notes over to Brenda for her to familiarize herself with them, and talked through his speaking points. She nodded along, writing a few things down for herself, and asking questions as they came to her. Walter had been on this end a few times, but he thought he’d never quite get used to it. They discussed what they could and couldn’t talk about, since his story was still in development, and the 9am time slot had stricter standards. Walter had expected to have to lead her questions for her, but Brenda knew exactly what she was doing, and got to the points before he needed to guide her there. She was wasted in the bored housewife demo, shilling bad science and worse advice.
As soon as they finished their rehearsal, Walter got up and rushed to get out of the crew’s way. He waited in the wings, watching as everything came together and Brenda took her mark. He was third on the call sheet, giving Brenda enough time to hype him up between segments with a gymnast and a tabby cat with vomit-green protein shakes. Walter watched the whole thing, fascinated at how well she pretended to have any interest in what these people were talking about. And then it was his turn. During a break, he rushed out to the set to take his spot back on the sofa, letting one of the makeup techs fluff him up just right for camera. While Walter endured being needlessly preened, he and Brenda had a few moments to discuss their highlights. Then, everyone rushed off, and it was just the two of them as the producer counted down the commercial break. By the time he was at ‘one’ Brenda’s entire demeanor had changed back toward slightly vapid and a bit over-excited for everything.
“Welcome back to Good Morning Cascadia,” she started, straight to the camera. “Have you ever wondered just what your children might be watching when they go to YouTube, and what trends they might be trying to follow along with their friends? Are you concerned with how these trends might affect the health or safety of not just your kids, but your friends, neighbors, or even yourself? Our next guest was the victim of one of the latest ‘pranks’ being shared around the internet, and has uncovered a dangerous, and even deadly side to what kids are watching these days. With me today is Walter Jung, from CBN’s own Friday Night with Walter Jung, to talk about a new wave of internet pranks being spread around social media. Thank you for joining us today, Walter.”
Walter nodded. “Thank you,” he said, forcing himself to sit back and let her guide the interview. He tried to lean into the awkwardness of the whole thing, almost uncomfortable with being in the passenger seat. He slid easily into his TV persona, making his Mid-Atlantic accent just a little thicker and out of place than it already was. “I’ve been looking at this couch for three years, and I’ve never sat in it before.” Looking at it, he hadn’t realized just how soft it was, and how much he’d sink into it. His chair was hard as a rock, which let them both seem like they were on the same level while still elevating the host above the guest.
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Brenda laughed openly. “That’s right. We share this set, for people at home who might have thought they were seeing things. But neither of us are here on Saturdays, and that’s when you, I understand, stumbled into this whole thing.”
Walter put on a show of thinking about his answer for a few seconds. “That’s one way of putting it, yes,” he said, stopping himself from just going forward with his story. It wasn’t his show, and he needed to remember that.
“So, you were a victim of one of these ‘internet pranks,’ weren’t you?” Brenda asked. “Tell us what that means. What actually happened?”
“Yeah,” Walter said. He shifted and turned in his seat, showing the other side of his face to the camera. “I was in Northeast, trying to do some shopping, minding my own business. And I was sucker punched by this kid while his friend filmed it. I didn’t know what was happening, so I fought back. I thought I was being mugged or something.” He settled back in his seat, letting the squishy couch try to swallow him whole. “I had no idea it was a prank until after I called Nick, my producer. She was going to get the video taken down if it showed up online anywhere, and that’s when we realized what we were looking at.”
“A prank?” Brenda said.
Walter nodded. “For lack of a better word. This is a popular one, it turns out. These kids run up and sucker punch random people, and then run away. I’ll be honest, I’ve been watching the videos all week and I’m still not sure what the point is.”
“Now, you were able to get the video, because it was uploaded to YouTube, I understand,” Brenda said, leading all of his points perfectly.
“That’s right. One of the kids uploaded it, we found it, and the police were able to identify both of boys involved,” Walter said. “And you do have that video, I believe.”
Brenda nodded. “We do. And I will warn those of you at home, this video is rather shocking to see. If you have young kids in the room, now would be a good time to send them out. This is the video recorded by one of the attackers on Saturday. Again, this is shocking to see.”
A television above the fake hearth on the other side of the set showed the video, which had been blurred to obscure the boys’ faces, as well as conveniently cut between Walter throwing his punch and the boys starting to run. It wasn’t the clip they’d pulled from YouTube, but the 9am demo was a little more squeamish, and less friendly to even bleeped expletives than the 7pm one.