As Adrian fell down into the endless abyss, he felt despair. He could see absolutely nothing. The only thing keeping him sane, was oddly enough the stream of air rushing up towards him, causing his scalp to go numb.
I swear, if I get out of here with my brain and innards intact, I will give that old geezer one hell of a payback. This was the only coherent thought he had at the moment, and he kept repeating it to himself, just to remember that this was all just a test. It would pass.
Nonetheless, he did not feel any confidence after the thought. A thousand years in hell? Just to test his mettle? What was the old man thinking? Even a thousand years spent with his nose in the books was a minor thing before endless torment. It was not even worth mentioning in the same sentence. The geezer had claimed he had recreated the mythical hell existing with the bible, the one based on Dante's seven hells'...
"FUCK THIS!! You old pig slobbering fool with pigeon's brain! I won't forget this! I will make you pay so badly for this! Even if you are just an AI, ill take that stick of yours and shove it somewhere the sun never shines!! YOU HEAR ME!?" He was panting hard now. His ability to breathe seemingly returned to him. Not exactly something Adrian appreciated, as he felt a suffocating feeling stretch from his abdomen up into his throat. He felt sick, close to vomiting bile.
Ah... I really, really hope that I can endure this. I don't want to go mad... WHO am I kidding!? Of course, ill go mad! Who wouldn't!?
Alas, this would be his last thought. All he could do now was scream, he could suddenly see a dimly lit floor approaching from below, at terrifying speed. No, it was him approaching it! This was going to hurt, a lot. Probably the worst pain he would ever have the luxury of experiencing.
Adrian just closed his eyes...
"BAM!"
Everything went silent after that. If anyone were to look at the point of impact though, they would only find a mush of blood, broken bones, and scattered human remains. Blood slowly trickled down into the cracks in the floor, "drip, drip, drip..."
Then the sound of footsteps approaching echoed through the chamber. "Thump, thump, thump..." Massive footsteps at that. Soon, a pair of glowing red eyes lit up the dark chamber.
As it stepped inside, the flickering light cast the outline of an enormous shape standing there. A hairy, horned monster. With massive hooves for feet. It must have been nearly 18 feet tall. Its ragged breath sounding like a forge's bellows.
It walked up to the crater in the ground, where all the blood had gathered. Then the creature bent down and prodded the remains with one long-nailed finger. After a while, it snorted and waved its finger twice over the remains.
At that action, the remains did something completely unbelievable. The bloody pulps of flesh and bone started to move towards the center of the crater. Soon they were all just a big pile. The pile did not stir, not until the last bone fragment soared through the air to land with the rest. Then the pile began to move.
First, the bones started clicking together, fixing themselves in their former places, finally, a whole skeleton was standing there. Then came the pulps of flesh, which attached themselves to the frame like glue, and piece by piece the former shape of Adrian became clear.
When the exterior looked as good as new, although, with a pale shade of gray, the blood began to rush back in. The entire body began to flush bright scarlet, before settling on a neutral shade of pink. Then, everything stood still for a moment. Before a thump could be heard, a slow rhythmic beating of "thump, thump, thump..." began.
Adrian opened his eyes. His body was sweaty and felt somewhat itchy. As when you have been lying on your hand for a while, letting the hand fall asleep, only to have it wake up with a fresh rush of blood going into it. He didn't feel all that uncomfortable though. Like he had fallen asleep. What was I doing right now? I, I can't seem to remember? Wait, I was sent to this new world, and the god sent me to hell... Is this hell then?
He closed his eyes and tried to remember what just happened. Something, at the back of his mind, told him it was something important... Then it all came back to him in a rush, sucking all the breath from his lounges like one bad sucker punch.
He had died. Real death, from falling. The thoughts all came crashing down upon him, the fear, the pure terror he felt at the sight of the ground rushing up to meet him. Then there was the split-second pain, the insane, otherworldly sensation of having his entire body smashed to the ground. His very being splitting apart into nothing but fragments and sticky substance.
Thankfully it was brief, but it nonetheless was too agonizing to think about. He didn't think it was possible to feel such pain in such a short period. Such crushing pain, it really was something he could never have imagined. He had braced himself for what he had thought a painless death, this was nothing like that. First, the shattering of his legs, feeling them rush out of their sockets, and soar up through his body like spears. Then everything else they collided with breaking apart, organs, nerves, and other bones. Nothing survived that surreal explosion of force.
Adrian found himself on his knees, leaning on his elbows, retching. He couldn't stop it, but nothing came out, even though he kept going. Shaking like an autumn leaf caught in the winds of winter. He tried to convince himself it was all a nightmare, but unfortunately, it was all too real in his mind. The images would not go away.
As he lay there, panting hard, he finally noticed that in front of him was what looked like a pillar in the darkness. It was an odd one for a pillar, uneven, with odd growths on it. It was hard to tell in the dim light, but Adrian could have sworn it moved.
He stretched out one shaky arm, trying to touch it, but when he did... His hair stood on end. This was fur, greasy, and full of dirt. He did not like where this was going, but he managed to tilt his head up for a look nonetheless. What he saw there, in the dark, made him scream. A terrible, desperate scream on the verge of madness...
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....
"He's pretty good for a human, Bal'zah, you wouldn't think it possible, but he has endured for two hundred and sixty-seven years now. Tough bones too now. I did not think it possible, but he's become completely numb when we try to break them. At first, he begged us every time we did it, now he's just quiet and does not seem to care. The only way to get a reaction out of him is to cut him open or when we humiliate him... Not like the other species at all."
"What did you expect Mald'Dee? He's been chosen by the supreme being for this... This is a small price to pay. Tis only a sack of meet after all... Wait till we start torturing his soul, that will get him going. I'm just worried about the recent trend among the hall of pain. Some of them have begun to chat with him when he's not being put to the test. It's bad for our image y'know? I admit that he's a special case though, being sent through everything we can throw at him continuously, daily, and then brought back to life afterward... It's pretty cool to think of what the end result might be... Alright, keep going. Send him to the imp-lords next. To get rid of this sentimentality trend of late... Off with you."
...
Time passed quickly when you were having fun. At least that's what Adrian thought. What will it be today I wonder? I hope they stop boiling me. I am getting quite bored with that one... He's not interesting at all, only talks about how to best prepare boiled meat... All he wants to hear is that salt is the best thing to add, but I can't really say that I agree... At least add some thyme or garlic powder to the mix, heck even a pinch of chili or two. That will really send you on a trip of various tastes...
"Oi Adrian, guess what? We have a surprise for you today! We won't be doing any more boiling from now on. Brass say's it's important to try some different stuff. They were intending to send you back to the halls of penetrating pleasures, buuuut apparently the guys there say you are no fun. Apparently, they got quite scared the last time you bit the ear of Bandario. Not that I blame them. SO today you will be sent to the hall of mirrors, for your head I mean. See your head later Adrian. Gotta finish discussing the fine art of cuisine with you some other time!"
...
"Oi mirror gramp's, what the heck, why aren't you showing me any mirrors anymore!? I only pointed out that you are just as traumatized as I am, being stuck here all day. You didn't really go and try to reflect on yourself, did you!? What the heck will I be doing from here then? This is boring, I will be going to the hall of shattering, at least there they know how to appreciate some good humor..."
"Sob... Why does he have to be so mean... It's not like I don't know I am nothing but a copy of everyone else image..."
...
"Man... Time passes quickly... How long has Adrian been here now? By the way, the other day he gave me this really great recipe on how to make flesh noodle soup. You should try it with me later Bal'zah, it's wonderful stuff. By the way, he asked me to tell you that your soul stitching technique sucks. That doesn't feel good at all is what he said... Haha, you failed so badly! He was supposed to feel some resemblance of pain while staying alive, not laugh his ass off!"
"..."
"He also said something about meeting your big sister the other day! He said she wanted him to tell you that she loves you and that she misses her little Puniwun! Ahahaha! I nearly dropped Adrian in the soul-stirrer when he said that. So what are you going to do little Puniwun!?"
"Fuck off Trancor!! You know as well as I do that Adrian and my sister can't possibly have a relationship!! THAT IS ALL A LIE!!! If you don't stop it, I really will tell the boss! This is bad for the work environment!! This is bullying!"
"Fine, fine... whatever you say Puniwun!! Aahahaha!"
...
"So Bal'zah, any updates to bring me of late? How are the newest soul arrivals doing, you looking after them? Also, what is the deal with the Imp-lords demands of a workers union? I don't recall us having anything like that before...?"
"Right boss, the new souls are taken care of as you asked. The Imp-lord issue is a touchy one, however. It appears Adrian told them that they should be doing less work, for more salary. Apparently, he was outraged when he learned they did all of it for free... But you know, that's Adrian..."
"Well, it certainly makes sense now... Well, he did write a good book for me to read the last time I talked with him, how is he doing these days anyway? I heard he got into a fight with your sister over who stabbed who in a knife game. Can't be easy for you having that kind of brother-in-law?"
"..."
...
"OI! DEMON PUNK!! YOU THERE!? WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG!? I TAKE ONE NAP, AND WHEN I WAKE UP NEARLY 5 MILLION HELL YEARS HAVE PASSED!? I TOLD YOU TO MAKE HIM TOUGH, NOT ADOPT HIM!! SEND HIM BACK TO ME YOU GOT IT!? I'M SICK OF WAITING FOR THIS... By the way, did he improve?!"
"Lord supreme being!? My deepest apologies sir! Adrian is like family to us now, he has been so nice, that we completely forgot he's an outsider... Yes, he has also quite improved. He does not feel anything when you cause him any sort of pain. He rather seems to enjoy it... Also... Sir... He kind of married now as well..."
"..."
"WHAT!? SAY AGAIN!!??"
"... eh, so here is the thing... he got along so well with the Bloodied Empress... I mean... well... Sorry sir..."
"GOD DAMN IT... FINE SEND HIM UP HERE IN LESS THAN FIVE DAYS!! I AM SICK OF WAITING...."
...
"Goodbye everyone, I am really going to miss you a lot... Especially my beloved... And you dear brother-in-law... Not you though Camadrin, Magdali, Paverio, and certainly not you Emphiro... You always cut my tongue out first... so I had to listen to your gibberish without being able to speak back... This is farewell everyone. I am going to miss all of you, tell your boss I am going to miss him too, the next time you see him.
Not many would have been able to remain standing talking to the group Adrian was talking to. Even fewer would remain sane after seeing them. It was probably the most terror-inducing group you could imagine, except for the cold and beautiful Bloody Empress. She was a pretty flower alright, except that she was quite, quite mad. The rest were what most would describe as monsters, exceptionally terrifying ones at that.
With a last look of sadness, Adrian turned his back on those who he had considered family for so long and headed for the shiny elevator that just popped into existence nearby...
...
When the elevator finally came to a halt. Adrian took a peek outside. He was in a great blindingly bright chamber. With nothing but a sofa as the only furniture, it was a nice looking one too. Sitting right in the middle of the chamber. On it, sat an old man, with a white beard and hair. He had a fancy robe on him and looked rather kind. Or revolting, Adrian thought.
The man looked worried as he gazed at Adrian. Adrian gazed back at him, he seemed familiar. He tilted his head to the side, as he tried to travel back through his immense recollection of memories. Gamma, that was his name. He created hell, no wait... Did he create everything? Cool. Adrian wished he could do that. Then he remembered something else...
"Gamma, it's been too long!" Adrian said with a smile. As he strode towards Gamma with open arms.
Gamma only grimaced.
"You aren't exactly in mint condition, are you boy? I have been thinking a lot lately... I've decided to change the basic tests for the humans who get here someday in the future... The ones I am using right now... Well, they aren't exactly good for your health... Though only a few years have passed here... For you in hell... Time was accelerated beyond what I planned for... I intended to harden you for a thousand years, not five million... That way you would still be you at least... You are quite mad, aren't you? We need to find a way for you to adapt when we put you into the new world..." Gamma sighed... It wasn't easy being a god.
Just as Gamma thought Adrian was about to embrace him, Adrian kicked with all his might towards where the latter's groin should have been.
There was a metallic *Thunk*.
Adrian tilted his head to the side again before answering; "Mad? Me? No, I don't think I am mad. According to earth psychology, I suffer from multiple categories. For example, I think I fit Self-Inflicted Death with Undetermined Intent, pretty well. Though I think having a few of those quite normal ones, my friends down there sure has a lot of them too. Do you have any by the way?"
"..."
"Geezer, I think there is a saying about silence being compliance. You can tell me what it is if you want. We all have some of it... Go for it, I am told I can be a very good listener!"
Then he threw himself at Gamma, put his hands around his neck, before trying to chew the latter's nose off.
"..."
"I guess there is nothing much to hope for here... Let's get you ready for your new life... I just hope we can lock some of that madness of yours down somewhere... I doubt any degree of psychotherapy will be able to fix you any time soon..."
The old man carefully pushed Adrian away, picked him up by the scruff of his neck, and headed towards a door. As he opened it, bright light obscured what was on the other side.
"Silly lad... There is a new world waiting for you beyond this point. I am not sure what kind of person you will turn out to be in a few ages... Maybe you will still be quite mad, but I do hope that we manage to fix you somehow." The old geezer looked rather grim at the moment.
Adrian stopped his attempts at molesting Gamma, looking back up at the geezer. He then began chewing on what remained of one of his fingers...
"Tho Thasty!"
"..."
As Adrian was absorbed in his self-cannibalism, the old man carried them into the bright light... Who knew what would be the result of a neglecting god? Only time would tell...