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Lingering Thoughts
Chapter 1: Undue Guilt

Chapter 1: Undue Guilt

I couldn't see it, but there was no mistaking, the Old Man spirit had been lifted, a smile curling up from his lips hidden away from the never-ending light. - "New-born, Reborn, Reincarnation, and Transfer. Those are the options presented to you in regards of beginning anew, or you could find your eternal rest in this Realm."

The woman at my side moved ahead, turning her heels to face me as she gave a quick bow, pressing her right hand just above her bust upon the left side where her heart would be. - "If you decide to remain here, you can also work for my Lord here. He is powerful, but he always welcomes any and all aid."

"Now Miria, you and I know that while that is true, you mostly do it to be praised for a job well done."

A blush and a nervous fidget were her answers at being brought to the spotlight. It didn’t last long, however, as Miria pulled back her work face as she glanced back to me.

“Joking aside, there’s also the option of taking your time, there are plenty of souls who require some erasure. And we are talking about billions of souls so, there’s a surplus of time.”

I grew quiet after taking in all of the information in, and while it’s tempting to answer right away, there was an issue, I couldn’t bring myself to give it. It's too much to take in a single moment.

Unconsciously, I brought my hand up to my face, the index fingernail being bitten as I focused on what would be the best course of action.

Feeling my anxiety, Miria reached her hand down to take a hold of my own, facing God with a faint smile. – “My Lord, I’m going to help our friend here to ease her mind. Besides, it’s not like I’m the only angel around, right?”

Understanding the situation and with a sound nod, God replies. – “Do take care of her, we’ll do what we can. And you, young one, take the time you need. Within reason, of course.”

I couldn’t answer to him, once that out of the way, both Miria and I drifted downwards through the clouds. Even inside them, light-filled every nook and cranny, forcing me to squint my eyes.

It took a while but, we finally managed to come out the seemingly endless clouds that wrapped us. What awaited us once outside was a sight that shouldn’t even exist in a place that promises eternal rest, something that would make an ordinary person faint just to have a glimpse of this horrid scene.

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The ambient felt heavy all around as grief, anguish, depression and overall, pain invaded the area. The reason was simple to understand as well, a sea of people with screeching cries of pain and foul cursing hoping to ease the pain were all lined up in a bloody and charred mess as they pleaded the other angels to get to them as quick as possible to tend to their wounds and demanding why are they in such deplorable state. Everyone whom I spotted was with burned flesh from head to toe, enough to confuse them with a walking corpse, or gaping wounds that would most likely kill just about anyone in an instant, yet it was the same for everyone, they were in complete pain as their wounds were still fresh and present even after their deaths.

Slapping my hand up to my mouth, I contain the urge of vomiting by a mere ounce of willpower, but that didn’t stop my tears from flowing and running freely down my cheeks. As the ‘how’s’ and ‘whys’ began to form, I recall God saying about the fall of the world, being the cause of our demise. The reason behind it eludes me as to what happened so I turned around to see Miria in hopes to get an answer, but I’m immediately halted after seeing her clouded expression, only managing to bring out a whisper as we continued our descent.

“This is the only thing I never get used to.”

Between the cries, a man pointed at our direction and shouted. – “Oi, look ever there!”

What was supposed to be just a voice in the crowd soon became a pressing muttering and the eyes pointed towards us, more specifically at me, as a portion of the yells died down, only to be replaced by muttering. Somehow, the words spoken were hammering the very back of my mind, pressure swelling up inside of me as I clenched my fists almost defenceless.

“So that’s the one. – The damned failure. – Yes, look the results of her meddling now. – She shouldn’t have been brought here, hell is more fitting. – Death was too good for her. – She should’ve stayed behind to burn on the land that consumed us. – Better yet, let her be that blob of rotten meat once again, that was a fitting sight to see.”

Their hatred towards me made me feel worried, even scared for my own safety. I didn’t know what was going on, I just felt my heart sinking to the depths of fear. I wanted to run away, hide somewhere, heck even turning away would’ve been enough, but I was paralyzed and my body wouldn’t listen to me.

A pair of hands gripped both my shoulders, and panic dominated my every senses, already believing to be trapped by just about anyone who wanted to bring me harm. Seconds felt like aeons, I felt faint and my lips and throat dried up as my vision became blurry from the still running tears, I’m going to be punished without knowing why.

However, to my surprise, I was pulled into an embrace, shaking me away from everyone and everything else. Looking up, I see Miria glaring to those who dared to speak ill of me, returning to look at me with an apologetic smile whilst saying. – “You don’t have to stay here, I’d be a hypocrite to ask you after this experience.”

Silently, I pressed my head against Miria’s chest once again, shutting myself away from the hatred behind me as it began to dissipate once we reached the next set of clouds.

I never felt it, but among the crowd were a handful of people proud of me despite their battered bodies.

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