Talent didn’t believe Three-sixteen about what he’d seen, but that didn’t stop Three-sixteen from exploring further. Talent was insistent on the idea that he couldn’t use magic and that his senses were far too dull to feel it. Three-sixteen was certain of what he’d felt and seen though. He only needed some insight on how to manipulate it.

Three-sixteen lost the feeling when the twister dropped him and he hadn’t been able to feel or see mana in the same way ever since. He tried recalling the moment, but he couldn’t get a clear enough grasp of what it had felt like to sense mana.

He tried to come up with other ideas, but he’d never even seen someone practice magic. He’d probably seen them cast spells but he couldn’t say for sure, and he didn’t know what they did in the process to make them work.

After a few minutes of thinking, he came to the conclusion that he needed a teacher, but he didn’t think Talent would be much help. He’d seen magistrates use magic before, so maybe he could find someone to teach him. At least that way he might have a chance to learn something, maybe even a new spell or two.

Mikala came to mind, however he felt almost certain she’d attach her help to sexual favors. Daren was definitely experienced, but he was probably less likely than Talent to actually offer any assistance.

“What are you doing up already?” Mila asked as she entered the room. “You have to train with Talent again don’t you?”

Her sweet voice and kind eyes brought a smile to his lips. “I was just thinking about my lessons. Talent is…a bit rough, but I feel like I can manage. I’m not sure he’ll be a great teacher though. I was trying to think of someone else I could ask if I have questions.”

Mila smiled. “You could ask anyone, probably. Not to be rude or insulting, but I imagine most anyone in the manor could offer you useful insight into magic.”

Three-sixteen nodded. That was the impression he’d gotten. Talent was a brat, but he did seem to know a bit about magic.

Mila giggled. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face then proceeded to draw the curtains.

She didn’t have a tray of food with her, which Three-sixteen found disappointing. He was used to being fed by Mila, but he could hardly complain. He was given a name, and he was free, or as close to free as he could hope to be. The world was different than he imagined and he was still struggling to figure out his place in it.

As he finished processing what Mila said, he realized that she might be able to help him. “Do you know how to sense mana?” he asked.

Mila stopped what she was doing, turning to Three-sixteen, her brow raised and her lips pursed. “I do, but it isn’t something I can explain. I mean, I could try, but I doubt it’d be very helpful to you.”

“Anything you say is bound to be more helpful than chasing my own thoughts in circles.” Three-sixteen insisted. His mind was reeling with the possibilities and he wanted to test each and every one of them. “Just tell me what it feels like, maybe that’ll be enough to point me in the right direction.”

Mila breathed out a heavy sigh, her expression a mixture of confusion, curiosity, and amusement. She took a seat beside him, then said, “Well… each kind of mana is a little different, and most people can only comprehend a few types. For me, it’s easiest to feel ice and darkness mana. They both have a sort of loneliness to them, but also chill and bite. Ice bitter while dark is more hollow.”

Three-sixteen listened with rapt attention, his mind trying to picture what she was describing, but the images that formed weren’t very clear. He was having a hard time imagining what she meant. He’d felt ice mana, but he would never have considered it lonely or bitter. Cold and bitting definitely fit, but beyond that he couldn’t connect with Mila’s description.

“Okay,” he said after a moment. “What about wind or light?”

Mila chuckled, shaking her head. “Why are you so eager to understand this?”

Three-sixteen shrugged. He didn’t think that, ‘Because it’s cool,’ was a good enough answer, so he didn’t answer. Besides, she probably wouldn’t believe him. She seemed to understand that he wasn’t going to tell her though, because she didn’t wait for an answer.

Instead, Mila smiled and continued, “I’m not really sure about light. It’s one of the ones I can’t really sense. Wind is a bit complex though and I don’t know if I’d say I understand it at all. It’s one you have to just…feel?” She shook her head. “Feel isn’t the right word, but it’s something like that. Like another sense that combines smell and touch and adds another dimension to your perception of reality—if you can actually understand it that is. People who have a good grasp of wind mana can even fly or breath underwater.” She shrugged, then added, “But don’t expect Talent to teach you anything like that. He’s not much for teaching and he’s too arrogant to share his knowledge with an…what was it he called you, an ant, right?”

Three-sixteen glowered. He didn’t need to be reminded of his past or how Talent viewed him. He had a proper name now, even if it didn’t quite feel like his name. The high lord had even chosen it himself and Dominant wasn’t the sort of name you give to someone incapable. At least he didn’t think so.

He was just about to say so when Mila laughed again, “Relax, I’m only teasing. I’m sure you’ll figure out mana and magic all on your own.” She patted his leg, then stood. “Unfortunately, I have to get back to my duties, but feel free to ask me anything you need. I’ll answer as best I can and if I can’t help, I’m sure I can point you toward someone who can.”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

Three-sixteen smiled and thanked her, then he watched her go and laid back down to think. He was no closer to figuring out how to sense magic, but at least he had a few clues to work with. As she was leaving, Mila chirped. “Have you tried meditating?”

Three-sixteen had never heard the term. Mila explained the concept to him briefly then promised to walk him through it once when they both had free time. It was several days before that time actually came and he was over eager by then, but he managed to keep his mind focused and his thoughts calm, or at least that’s how he imagined it should feel.

He sat with his legs crossed, his hands resting on his knees, and his eyes closed. Mila sat with her back pressed against his, the feel of her hair on his neck and her sweet scent on the breeze aggravated his focus, but he did his best to ignore the distraction and followed her breathing.

“Just focus on the sound of your heartbeat and the feel of your breath as it enters and leaves your body. Try not to think of anything else or allow your mind to drift.” She spoke in a soft, whispering tone, so quiet that he could barely make out her words. The sound of her breath in his ear sent shivers down his spine, but he did his best to focus on his own breath and his own body and the feel of the mana around him. The sound of his heartbeat and the feel of the air in his lungs, and the gentle pull of the world on his flesh and the way his body pressed against the floor.

It was hard at first, and he felt the urge to fidget, but after some time he was able to let go and focus on the sensations in and around him. He could feel the heat of the sun and the chill of the wind. He could hear the sound of the leaves as they rustled and he could smell the faint scent of flowers on the breeze.

He could even hear the faint murmur of the city below, and he could feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was a part of the world and the world was a part of him.

But there was more, he felt the energy in the air, and the power that was all around him, and he could feel the mana that was within him. He could feel the way it moved and the way it flowed. He couldn’t see it like the first time he’d noticed mana, but each type felt like a different color. There were too many shades to name or even count and he couldn’t tell them apart without focusing on one at a time. It was confusing, and overwhelming but he was able to pick out a few that seemed brighter than the others, easier to understand and connect with.

There was a blazing crimson, hot like fire but somehow solid and sharp. There was a deep blue that felt a little like water and tasted a little like salt. There was a pale yellow that smelled of ozone and crackled with electricity. There was a deep purple that tasted of iron and felt like a cool mist on his skin.

Then there two he barely understood, but they felt like a part of him. The first was dark and haunting, drawing feelings of terror from his heart. The second was almost transparent and felt like an illusion or something he’d imagined.

Three-sixteen focused on the colors, trying to feel them all and understand what they meant, but there were so many, it was hard to keep track of them all. He wanted to ask Mila what they were and how they worked, but he was afraid to open his eyes or speak. He was afraid of losing this feeling and the understanding that came with it. He knew that if he lost it now, he’d lose it forever.

Three-sixteen was afraid he was getting lost in his own mind, so he tried to focus on his breathing and on the world around him, on the sound of the leaves and the feel of the breeze, and on the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the shadows.

His mind opened to the world until he couldn’t tell the difference from his own thoughts and the sensations around him, his thoughts might even have ceased completely.

The colors of mana became more clear even as they twisted and blended together to form bursts of air, or in response to the movement of ants. As a petal fell from a flower the blues and greens filling it with life began to filter out like water dripping through a sieve as gray decay slipped in to replace them.

It was a lot to take in and it was hard to focus on, but he didn’t want to let it go. He wanted to understand this, he wanted to see more, and he wanted to know everything.

As he watched, he noticed something odd. Black, red, and the transparent motes that he’d noticed at first began to gather. They swarmed together weaving themselves into some form. The form took the shape of a small cat, a familiar one.

Even as a mana manifestation, she looked the same as ever. Solid black with piercing red eyes that made his blood run cold.

The cat seemed to smile as she licked her lips and flicked her tail. “Your thirst for magic is pleasing, but there’s something important you’re missing.”

As soon as she spoke, Three-sixteen was crippled with pain. His body ached as pressure built at six points in his body.

“You’re broken and no amount of magic can fix it. You need to—”

“Dominant! … Dominant, open your eyes!” Mila Yelled, her voice covering the cats words. He felt his connection to the mana slipping as the pain intensified.

She slapped his face, which caused him to gasp for air as the pain subsided.

“What happened? Are you alright?” she asked, concern evident on her face.

“I don’t know. I was just thinking…” he trailed off as he saw the cat behind her, watching him intently. Her red eyes were filled with curiosity and her tail swayed lazily as she watched. With a blink, the kitten faded away.

Mila was still staring at him, concern written across her face as she studied him. She must have seen the confusion in his eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re not making any sense.”

He nodded, trying to shake the confusion. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just… a bit tired.” He forced a smile, hoping she wouldn’t notice the lie. “I think I need some rest.”

Three-sixteen was relieved when Mila said she’d let him sleep and left the room. Once she was gone, he fell back onto his bed. The cat’s words echoing through his mind. “You’re broken and no amount of magic can fix it. You need to—”

What did she mean by that? What did he need to do to fix whatever was broken? How could he be broken and not know?

The questions raced through his mind, but he couldn’t find any answers. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with him. He didn’t feel broken, but maybe that was the problem. Maybe he was broken, but he didn’t know it. It made sense though. He knew there was no way for a number to gain the abilities he had. Only a judge could order others with an authority that could not be ignored, but a judge would never be mistaken for a number and Three-sixteen didn’t always possess that ability.

Perhaps something really was wrong with him. If he was truly a number, he thought Darren was probably right. He’d be dead soon from the strain of his growing powers. If he had actually been born a judge, then how did he become a number?

He had no answers and no idea where to start looking, so he decided to sleep on it.