Lady Melei's followers gathered up all the maginite left behind by the Engulfer. It was a substantial amount, and according to Hiero, more than enough to see them safely through the Scarred Lands. They began making the final preparations the next morning, resupplying in Bloodlorn and making sure their animals were healthy enough to make the journey.

Though he was very tired, Arai didn't sleep very well that night; he kept thinking about Lillandra and what she had kept saying to him.

Why are you doing this to me?

He didn't know what she meant, but he was beginning to suspect.

He went looking for her first thing in the morning, but was waylaid several times, first by Damon, and then by Lady Melei, and then by Shell.

He realized, belatedly, that he had never bothered to thank Damon for saving his life -- it was the sorcerer's immobilization spell that had frozen the Engulfer, and allowed him to kill it -- so he made sure to shake the man's hand and express his gratitude when he saw him. Damon, however, was an unassuming fellow, and he played down his role: "You were the one who killed it," he said. "If not for you, and Sir Estil and the others, it probably would've destroyed the whole camp." He lowered his eyes. "But alas, Sir Brack."

Sir Brack was the knight who had been chewed to pieces by the Engulfer -- the only casualty of the creature's unexpected attack. "Did you know him well?"

"I only met him a few months ago, but we had become friends. He often joined me on these desert hunts." He shook his head. "He will be missed. I suppose he won't be the only one of us who perishes on this expedition, though. Tell me, do you really think we stand a chance of making it across the desert, to these western lands of yours?"

"I think we have a very good leader," he said, glancing at Lady Melei, who at that moment was consulting with Hiero. "And I think she chose very well by hiring you to be her sorcerer."

He snorted. "You flatter me. But thank you."

Lady Melei called him over next. "Arai," she greeted. "Are you ready to go? We're leaving soon."

"I'm ready."

"We'll take the southern approach into Panner's Canyon," she said. "It shouldn't take more than a few days to get the wagons up to the other side. I'd like your party to scout ahead for us. You seem to have a knack for killing these monsters."

"We can do that."

"And I think it would be helpful if Lillandra were to enchant myself and a few others with that Stone of Many Tongues. We're going to need all the translators we can get, when we reach this...Elent?"

"The Queendom of Elent," he affirmed.

"A queendom. How interesting." She stopped for a moment, studying him. "Are you all right? You seem a little preoccupied."

"I'm fine. I've...just been doing a lot of thinking, lately."

She smiled a little. "About Lillandra?"

He nodded reluctantly.

"You're in love with her."

He started to protest, but then stopped himself, and after a moment's reflection, said, "Yes, I am."

"I thought so. Is she in love with you?"

"I don't know."

"Then maybe you should ask her."

"It's not that simple."

"Love is never simple." She gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. "You chose her over me. If you don't tell her how you feel, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take it personally." And she gave him a rather menacing grin.

Shell caught up with him next; he asked her where he could find Lillandra. "She's on the other side of the camp," she said. "We just ate breakfast."

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"I see."

"She was very quiet."

"I see."

"I think it's about time you two had a talk. A nice, long talk."

"About what?"

"You know what." She shook her head, exasperated. "I don't know why you humans are always delaying, procrastinating, putting things off. How can you afford to? You don't live very long."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said dryly, although he knew in his heart that she was right. He couldn't put this off any longer; he had to face it.

He left Shell and, after spending a few minutes searching around, found Lillandra, who was sitting quietly in the back of a wagon, looking at her lap. The breeze touched her hair, she brushed a bit of it behind her ear.

"Mind if I join you?" Arai asked.

She looked up at him. "As you please."

He hopped up on the wagon as well, and for a moment the two of them simply sat there, side by side, their feet dangling off the edge. Lillandra spoke first.

"I should learn how to fight," she said.

Arai blinked. "What?"

"I felt so helpless earlier," she said. "When you were fighting the Engulfer. I have my magic, but it's only good for making zemi; I can't cast spells on the fly like Damon can. I'm not much good against monsters, or soldiers, or men with swords. I can't even use a bow and arrows, like Lady Melei. I'm not useful. And I hate it that everyone is always having to come to my rescue."

"Because you don't like feeling indebted to people?"

"That's part of it, yes."

He thought about it. "Lady Melei might be willing to teach you how to use a bow. Or I could teach you how to use a sword--"

"No."

He blinked. "Lill...there's something we should talk about..."

"I don't want to talk."

"But..."

"Maybe I should find my own way back to Velon," she said suddenly. "I could wait for another expedition to come along. I could make a new Eagle's Wing, or a Harpy's Feather, to float myself over the mountains. It would only take a few years--"

"What in the world are you talking about?"

"I can't be around you."

"Why not?"

"Because you're making me forget."

He frowned. "Forget what?" he asked, although he already had a pretty good idea.

"I've spent the last hundred years trying to bring him back to life. I can't abandon him. I can't forget him. I can't...I can't fall in love with someone else." She looked at him plaintively. "Why are you doing this to me?"

It took him a moment to absorb all that. "You're saying you've fallen in love with me."

"I told you this before -- all those years I spent sleeping at the Nightfall, and even my life before that, my life in the village, my life with Julien...it was so long ago, it's starting to feel like a dream to me. I'm forgetting. I'm forgetting my mission. I can't let it all be for nothing. I can't let myself fall in love with you."

"You're going to deny your feelings."

"I have to, for his sake."

Arai let out a long sigh. "I'm in love with you, too."

She looked up at him -- surprised, if not exactly shocked. "I...I don't..."

"And do you think it's any easier for me? You're the Night Queen. I swore to kill you, after Lord Pierce betrayed my father. For two years, it was the only thing on my mind, the only thing driving me. And you turned Odo and Maya to stone. Did you think I'd forgotten that? But now I've fallen in love with you, in spite of it all. You think you're betraying Julien by falling for me; I feel like I'm betraying my friends, and all those who fought and died to free Velon." He sighed again. "But Sir Estil was right. The heart wants it wants, and you can't talk yourself out of falling in love with someone. You're the most fascinating woman I've ever met, strong and brave and beautiful, and more talented than I--"

"Stop it."

"It's true."

She looked at him helplessly. "This is exactly what I'm talking about. If you keep saying these things..."

"I'm not trying to make you forget. I'm just telling you what's in my heart."

She closed her eyes. "It may not be worth anything," she said after a moment, "but I like you, too. You're sweet and kind, and unlike me, you always try to do the right thing, even when it's none of your business, and even when it's inconvenient to you. You didn't take advantage of me when I was drunk on that love philtre. I...I like being with you. And I was jealous, when I saw you with Lady Melei. I've never felt anything like that before."

"I told you, Melei and I--"

"I know. I believe you."

They both went quiet then, for a long, awkward moment. "Well," Arai said at last, "it's out in the open now, at least. But where do we go from here?"

"I can't abandon Julien," she said.

"Lillandra," Arai said gently, "Julien's dead."

"I'll bring him back."

Was there any talking her out of this? He was beginning to doubt it. Lillandra was totally dedicated to bringing Julien back to life; it had been her singular ambition for the last hundred years. And she had only known Arai for a few months. How could he possibly compete with that?

But if there was no talking her out of it, if her devotion to Julien was absolutely unshakable...

No, he decided. How many warnings had he received from villagers and mountain men, warning him not to cross the Frozen Mountains? How many people had told him that Silus was lost forever, that the sword would never be found? How many people had told him that the Night Queen and her armies were invincible?

No. It wasn't in his nature to give up.

"I'm not going to apologize," he said, hopping off the wagon and facing her directly. "For making you forget. If you want me to stay away from you, I will, but I'm not going to give up my feelings for you. And I hope...I hope that you won't give up on me, either." He put a hand on her shoulder, drew her towards him just a bit, and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

And he left her there, with her thoughts. Eventually he found Shell, who was packing her meager belongings into another one of the wagons. "Did you talk with her?" the elf girl asked.

"Yes."

"Well? What happened?"

He smiled faintly. "She wants to learn how to fight."

"What? That's it?"

"That's it."

Shell rolled her eyes. "This is taking forever," she sighed.