Eternity begins and ends with silence.
A drifting, twisting, all-consuming silence, a void of all things and all nothings, where possibility is impossible and time loses meaning. Words echo out forever here, bouncing off of nothing, circulating in the enclosed space of infinity.
Eternity begins and ends with silence.
Levi watched the stars pop out of existence, fading away. Entropy ripped them apart in beautiful violent explosions and then they simply ceased to be.
His neck itched.
Levi stood. The ground underneath him was a perfectly reflective surface, a mirror pond stretching off forever with no waves to break the image of the stars cast on it. He let out a sigh, the sound of which was swallowed by the void. He could feel the thing behind him, the beast. It was snoring, asleep, but fitfully. Normally the thing was trapped inside of him, tearing away at his soul in order to rend its way free. A lizard, tearing at the shell of its egg to be born.
Now he was trapped inside of it.
Sleep had been like this more and more frequently as of late. Less an actual loss of consciousness, more a disconnection from the world as he knew it. A kind of total disassociation that took place when he went to bed. The real world, the one out there, was still turning. If the beast was awake, he may have been able to touch things, feel things, see things through its eyes.
But it slept. And so, Levi was alone in his mind.
Mostly.
Somewhere inside that place was Arthur, drifting, trapped, just like him.
Levi began to walk.
His footsteps made no sound, not even the gentle noise of a bare foot against glass. The stars had always fascinated and entranced Levi. Their shimmering, twinkling forms pinpricks in the great black tapestry of the sky. He remembered standing on the roof of his dad’s pickup truck as a child, peeling paint feeling odd and scratchy under the soles of his feet, and looking up in wonder at the night sky.
The stars were dancing, his father had said.
Everything was dancing. A ballet of careful choreography and infinite randomness at once. Nothing was planned but everything was exactly where it needed to be. The man had never been religious, but he wore a cross around his neck all the same. Levi’s grandmother had given it to the old man on her death bed, and he had only taken it off to bathe ever since. He slept with it, that slim golden chain wound around his throat.
Levi hated that necklace.
He hated his father.
A man of reason, of science, or so he claimed. He thought, if he fought hard enough, he could build meaning out of mathematics, out of physics, out of molecules and atoms and quarks and gluons. He thought that the human mind could comprehend everything, that it was the greatest thing in the universe, and that reason would one day banish all uncertainty, all pain, all suffering.
But oh, the suffering that way of thinking could cause. Had caused.
The bodies burned, the men and women shot, the starvation, the poverty, the misery.
Progress.
Levi wasn’t a religious man either, but he knew the devil.
Some can deny the truth of good, of a higher moral value, but no one can deny the existence of evil.
He remembered his grandmother’s lectures on the bible, on the way she thought the universe was constructed. He remembered the way she would beat him with a spoon when he didn’t act, in her eyes, like a good Christian boy ought to.
He remembered her arguing with his father, screaming, demanding that he be enrolled in a catholic school.
And he remembered the devil.
El diablo.
Lucifer.
Be a good boy or the devil will cut out your tongue.
Be a good boy or the devil will steal your eyes.
Be a good boy or the devil will burn you for eternity.
The fear he had felt, four years old, head swimming with hellfire.
And Lucifer, Lucifer the Lightbringer. Lucifer, a spirit of wisdom and logic, possessed by pride in his own intellect. Pride in his reason, his mind. It had been his fall, the greatest fault, the failure of the first of God’s angels.
Didn’t his father understand the irony?
Didn’t he see how meaningless the universe he constructed for himself was?
The last star twinkled away, and the sky was dark once again. The surface he was on began to shift, to undulate, gently at first but with increasing ferocity. Levi sunk into the waves, bit by bit. He smelled salt in the air, felt the breeze against his skin. Over the horizon he could just make out the twinkling of a Ferris wheel.
Didn’t he see how meaningless the universe he constructed for his son was?
How much it had torn Levi apart to have all of the fear and none of the salvation.
Levi loosed a growl at the starless sky. The moon hung above now, drawing the tide in. It was a spotlight overhead, casting light only on Levi as he pushed through the surf, waded through the sea towards the distant lights.
Levi had fought so hard to love what his father had built him into. Studying, screaming, pleading. But it was all soulless. The dead matter of the universe. And Levi saw the nothing, and he saw hellfire.
The waves had grown more intense, but they didn’t impede his progress. They pressed at his back, the water up to his waist now and pushing him onwards towards those twinkling lights. Those tiny specks on the black void of the starless sky called to him, the only landmark in this empty space. An anchor to cling to.
He felt the beast stir behind him, ever just at his heels no matter how fast he moved.
The waves swallowed him whole.
A great black maw swept him into the inky darkness of the water. Frothing peaks, stolen gasps of wet breath, the taste of salt across his tongue. His eyes and lungs burned as he struggled for purchase in the sand. His body was hauled around mercilessly as the sea tried to swallow him whole.
The sea receded.
Levi laid on the beach taking deep, heaving breaths. He gulped down the air as fast as he could, forcing himself to flop onto his back. There were still no stars, but clouds now drifted overhead, grey in the darkness, reflecting the light of the boardwalk behind and above him.
Fingers digging into the sand, Levi let out a raw, animalistic scream of frustration. After that, drained, exhausted, he stared at those clouds for several minutes.
A familiar voice eventually interrupted his contemplation of the futility of his own struggle. How stupid, to be exhausted in one’s own mind...
“C’mon Levi, that’s enough moping,” Arthur mused dryly, holding out a hand. When Levi failed to take the hand, Arthur cocked a brow. He heaved Levi involuntarily to his feet, forcing the man to stand.
“... You suck,” huffed Levi.
“Don’t be lazy,” Arthur countered.
Levi grumbled and tried to dust the damp sand from his clothes and hair. It was not particularly effective and eventually he was forced to give up. He was sandy Levi now. That was simply his reality.
Once he was finished with his futile attempt at cleaning himself, he looked to Arthur and then up, to follow Arthur’s eyeline. The Ferris wheel glittered above.
“They took it down a few years ago,” Arthur mused.
“They took what down?”
“The Ferris wheel. They took it down. Safety concern or something. It was old, they took it down, have plans to replace it, but it’s still here.”
Levi studied it. It wasn’t a particularly tall Ferris wheel. Old steel with simple benches on the outstretched spokes. But the lights still shone as bright as they ever had, blues and reds and oranges and greens. A tiny spinning galaxy, suspended over the sand on tall wooden struts. A boardwalk.
There was something a touch ominous about the structure above him. Not the wheel specifically but the entire carnival scene. A roller coaster made of wood. Game stands, food stands, rides for the kids. On his left, a tall building proclaiming itself to be an arcade. It took him a moment to place why it was odd to look at, but once he settled on it, it was clear.
The boardwalk was, of course, empty. Devoid of people, just the sound of music drifting across empty, deserted space. The afterimage of a place, stripped of its context and its inhabitants.
“Still here, in me,” Arthur chuckled. “In me, in you... I wonder how many other places you can see that Ferris wheel. Outside of photos that is. How many people’s heads... Mm, that’s a question and a half, and one that probably doesn’t need an answer.”
Arthur began walking towards a set of wooden steps that led up from the beach. Sand covered everything, and Levi briefly considered using the beach-side shower station to clean himself off. Ultimately, he decided that would be idiotic. What was the point of washing mind-sand off of your mind-body at a mind-shower?
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
Plus, the water would probably be cold.
The tide was coming in and the reflection of the Ferris wheel twinkled on its sloshing surface. They climbed the steps, each one sturdy and firm under their feet. The boardwalk stretched out in either direction, but Arthur walked right, down the lines of carnival games and towards the other rides twinkling in the foggy distance. Arthur paused and glanced at one of the games, then walked up to it. A little metal BB gun sat on the edge of the counter. Across from the counter was a series of little slips of paper, a red star in their centers. The objective of the game was to shoot the entire star out of the circle of paper to win a prize. Of course, the game was rigged. The first shots would punch right through the paper card, but once enough had been shorn away the paper wouldn’t be stiff enough to be torn by the following shots. It didn’t matter how good of a shot you were, you simply wouldn’t be able to cut the star out before the paper card was floppy ribbon.
Arthur scowled disapprovingly at the paper card and picked up the little fake rifle from the table in front of himself. He raised the weapon to his shoulder, then looked expectantly at Levi.
“... What?” Levi pouted, crossing his arms.
“Are you seriously gonna make me play by myself?” Arthur asked disapprovingly. “That’s just cold, Levi.”
With a huff Levi snatched up a rifle of his own. He had a strong distaste for this game. Actually, he had a strong distaste for carnival games in general. From the basketball hoops that are an inch too high to the bottles that are too hard to-
Arthur nudged him with an elbow.
“Hey. Lighten up. You’ve been making the same face since we got here.”
“We’re trapped inside-”
“Your head?” Arthur questioned, a brow cocked. “Yeah, well aware. So what? Being pissed about it isn’t going to get you out, and it’s certainly not going to get me out. So why not have a little bit of fun?”
Levi let out a prolonged sigh, closing his eyes. He nodded anyways. Arthur was right, much as Levi hated to admit it. And besides, Levi wasn’t really in a position to complain. Compared to his friend, he barely spent any time locked in here at all.
“Does this,” Levi asked as he raised the toy rifle to his shoulder, “even count as fun?”
Arthur gave an amused chuff. “It’s fun when you actually win.”
A small buzzer went off and they began sending pellets down the little range to those paper stars. Levi did his best to trace a circle around the thing, he wasn’t the best shot in the world but this game was designed with children in mind. Little holes appeared around the star, red and white confetti popping out the back as the paper shredded under the onslaught of firepower. Airpower?
A second buzzer and Levi set his rifle down. He frowned at his paper card. The star hung halfway on by a few tenuous strands of paper, flapping in the breeze from the sea. When he looked over to see how Arthur had done, his mouth quite literally fell open. The star was gone. Arthur had won! How had he-
“I cheated,” the man admitted with a shrug.
“You cheated? How?”
“It’s a weird metaphysical dream game, I can do whatever I want to the laws of physics. I just made the paper stiffer.”
“With... your mind.”
“I mean,” Arthur hummed, “technically with your mind, since we’re in your head. But if you need to think about it as with my mind, you can.”
Levi paused, studying him.
“I hate you,” he decided.
“You love me,” Arthur teased.
“I hate your face too. That’s a cheating face.”
“I’ve been perfectly loyal! I’m trapped in your head, who am I gonna cheat on you- Ow!”
Levi wiped his hand off on his shirt, as if smacking Arthur in the back of the head had gotten it dirty.
“This is domestic abuse, I’m calling the police,” Arthur declared.
“We are not domestic partners of any sort, that was just smacking sense into you. You could maybe have an assault charge pressed against me. Maybe.”
“I live in your brain, this is the smallest apartment we could possibly share,” the man replied, climbing over the counter to grab himself one of the oversized plushies on the wall. He grabbed one that looked like a panda bear, an animal he considered cute and ultimately useless.
“Onwards!” Arthur proclaimed. “To the log flume!”
“How are we gonna ride the log flume? There’s no one to hit the button.”
Arthur gave him a long, intense stare.
“... We’re in my brain, right,” Levi eventually mumbled.
Arthur nodded. “You got there. Eventually.”
“... shuddup.”
They proceeded down the boardwalk. The wooden slats under them were old but firm, worn smooth by decades of foot traffic creating an odd sensation under Levi’s feet. Raised but smooth wood knotting swirled around the surface, off towards the edges of the boardwalk. He found himself stopping every now and then to rub his foot across the planks, expecting splinters or something else of the sort, but none came.
Arthur turned sharply towards the railing and Levi scowled, following. They walked up to a stand that, judging by the sign, was just a deep frier. Funnel cake, deep fried twinkies, deep fried Oreos, deep fried... deep fried pickles? What? That sounded like a war crime.
Arthur hummed and tossed a basket in with some funnel cake batter inside.
“Do you know how to make a funnel cake?” Levi asked, cocking a brow at the bubbling oil.
Arthur, in reply, gave him that same dead look from before.
“Right, in my br-”
“If you could stop questioning the logic of a place that is essentially a giant metaphor dreamscape, I would really appreciate it,” Arthur grunted.
“Sorry, sorry,” Levi huffed. Arthur was right, again, but that didn’t mean Levi had to be pleased about that fact. Man, Arthur was always right, wasn’t he? That wasn’t fair, Levi wanted to be right sometimes too.
The funnel cake was scooped out of the oil, though it didn’t resemble a funnel cake as much as it did a big ball of yarn that had been deep-fried. He dusted it with an excessive amount of powdered sugar, swirled chocolate sauce all over it, and then stabbed it with a plastic fork. Perfection.
“Okay, now we can go,” Arthur nodded.
They walked down the boardwalk, passing flickering lights on each side advertising games and rides to them and them alone. An old wooden roller coaster, the Big Dipper it was called, loomed to their left. Levi didn’t know if he would trust himself to that wooden goliath, but he supposed it must be safe enough if it had stood for so long. It shone with glittering lights along the biggest of the drops and a covered queue out front had a distinctly 1950s flavor to its design. They also passed by one which resembled a massive pendulum with branching seats on the bottom, known as the Fireball. Another, intended for smaller children by the looks of things, was a series of bright, shining miniature cars on a track. They were purple, blue, gold, silver, and every other glittery disco color imaginable, the whole ride set to a 70s motif, music and all. Only trouble was that it looped the same two songs, casting their guitar riffs out into the silent hunger of the fog.
The log flume was at the far end of the park, heavily elevated, a big green track filled with rushing water. Arthur chomped on his funnel cake the whole way down. What was the point of eating funnel cake in a dreamscape? Well, Levi wasn't about to be told off for questioning the logic of things in here again, so he kept walking.
The queue for the log ride was, of course, empty. There was no one to wait in line, which meant that Levi and Arthur had the privilege of strolling straight up the wooden steps and hopping directly into one of the big plastic tubes meant to look like a log. Arthur cradled the last of his funnel cake, stubbornly eating away at it even as the ride began to move.
Their car followed the gentle current in the tube. The ride was slow here, just after the exit. Levi sat back in his seat as their plastic log was pulled onto the conveyer belt. The air was cool and crisp, blowing across his face and through his messy mop of hair, filled with the mist billowing off of the attraction’s waves.
Levi thought for a moment. Then, water spray tickling his face, he closed his eyes and smiled. The ride track followed a large, elevated loop before arriving at its drop, the boat rocking as it came off the conveyor belt and sloshed into the water-filled section of the ride.
He cracked open his eyes, gazing up at those grey clouds, truly relaxed for the first time in... well, he didn’t really know how long. Arthur chuckled next to him and relaxed himself, kicking a leg precariously out of the ride and letting it dangle. Why not? It wasn’t as if it was a safety hazard in here.
Levi could see most of the park from this high up, and it seemed, at least to Levi, like this section of the ride was taking much longer than it usually would have to go by. He didn’t mind, not at all.
“You never let any of the stars survive, poor things,” Arthur mused.
Levi suppressed a snort of laughter.
“You overestimate how much control I have over this place,” he replied.
“It’s your head,” complained Arthur.
“And yet you can make an impossible game beatable, and I can’t. I don’t think anyone has much control over what goes on in the deeper areas of their mind, myself especially. Have you seen this place?”
“It’s like the world’s saddest Walmart,” sighed Arthur.
“Exactly! It’s ninety-percent chaos in here.”
“Ninety-percent chaos, seven-percent bad jokes, and about three-percent you imagining Rosa’s t-”
“That’s enough out of you!” Levi grunted, smacking the back of Arthur’s head for the second time that evening. The pair laughed together, enjoying that familiar feeling of comradery. It didn’t matter how odd the circumstances, how long it had been, Levi and Arthur would always be friends.
Even here. Even now.
He recalled long days in the heat, walking the riverside outside of town. He remembered raucous drives with blasted Celtic rock music, an odd fusion that Levi had introduced Arthur to, and that time Arthur had dragged him out duck hunting, where they had proceeded to bag absolutely nothing because they spent the whole time chattering.
The track began to curve around, headed towards the drop. The little plastic log rocked as it bumped against the side. Ahead of them, Levi could see where the tube plunged down, down into that drop. He buzzed a tiny bit in his seat, properly excited.
The tip of the log climbed out over the void...
And they dropped.
Straight down, a bullet down the barrel of a gun, water everywhere, eyes watering from the speed.
Levi cheered and whooped as they splashed down into the basin at the bottom, immediately getting soaked. Sopping wet, Levi and Arthur climbed out of the log as it came back into the loading area of the ride. They stopped, looking at their photo.
Arthur chuckled softly at their expressions in the still shot. “I’d print it out but... well, I don’t know how much good a hard copy would do me,” the man grinned.
“Oh please,” Levi said, shaking his head. “No one else needs to see that picture, I look like a moron.”
“Yeah, but a happy one. That’s the Levi I’ve always known. A bit of a moron, but still happy. Doesn’t seem like he’s around much anymore.”
Levi didn’t know how to reply to that. How did he explain that everything, everything, was falling apart in the most dramatic and catastrophic fashion imaginable, and it was all his fault?
Especially when Arthur knew that already, the jackass.
“Just... not as much to be happy about these days I guess,” Levi sighed.
They walked out of the ride, allowing themselves to drip dry. Not that Levi had been very dry in the first place, considering his oceanic dip. They walked to the exit gate, Levi following just a few footsteps behind Arthur.
Just outside the park, Levi looked down and was dismayed. Train tracks. Of all things, train tracks. He sighed, combing a hand through his damp hair.
Arthur followed his gaze and sighed at the steel tracks, rusted, unused. Levi didn’t enjoy seeing the man look gloomy, Arthur was always so happy...
“These are actually here,” Arthur consoled him. “There’s a set of tracks outside the gate.”
“... Arthur I’m-”
“Save it, Levi,” the man said quietly, putting a hand on Levi’s shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Levi looked away from Arthur to avoid his gaze, but stopped as his eyes caught a shimmering golden disk coming down the tracks. Arthur shook his head.
“This line is out of service. It would crash straight into the boardwalk if they ran a train down it.”
Levi cocked a brow at that, though he kept his eye fixed on that widening, shining eye. A steel goliath pushed in, eating the tracks, rushing forward towards them. Blisteringly fast...
He didn’t feel any fear, this had already happened. At least this time they were both on the tracks together.
“What was it you said earlier,” Levi questioned softly, “about questioning the logic of a ‘giant metaphor dreamscape’.”
“How dare you force me to follow my own dictates?” Arthur said bitterly.
“... We could step off the tracks,” Levi provided. “We could get out of its way, save ourselves the nightmares.”
“Ah,” Arthur hummed. “Maybe we could. But we won’t.”
And Arthur was right.