I watched with a smile on my face as George rolled down the track and came to a stop behind the subway car.

“An unauthorized search is being conducted on Cross-Cavern Tour property, and is delaying the Tour schedule.” George said and extended two of his large actuator arms, then deployed two restraining coils from each of the three hands on those arms. “Please cease and desist, or you will be forcefully restrained.”

“Screw you, you old bucket of bolts!” Crush the cyborg said, deployed a low power laser from his cybernetic arm, and shot it at George. “We're protecting a valuable client!”

George laughed at the pitiful laser, and wrapped a coil around Crush.

“AhhHH!” Crush yelled as the coil squeezed him, and he fired the laser at one of George's reinforced optical cameras. The rest of the squad came out of the subway car to help their captured squad mate, and I calmly walked out through the door to stand on the platform.

“What's going on?” Sandra asked me, and I looked at her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a large crane pick up the subway car and turn it around.

“I'm going to my father's old vacation house on the edge of the cavern to pick up an old server.” I said as the subway car was placed on another set of tracks to head back across the cavern on a different route. “The System apparently sent a squad of bozos to bodyguard me.”

Sandra shook her head. “You shouldn't call them that.”

I laughed and pointed. “Look at them.”

Four of the cyborgs had already been caught, and Alyssa was the only one that was still free. She was fast, and avoided the coils easily; but, she didn't have anywhere near the strength or the resources to free the other members of her squad.

“Rather than talk to George, or better yet, stop what they were doing and let you get on with your job, they attacked an AI-controlled industrial maintenance tank.” I laughed again. “With hand lasers!”

“Okay, even I have to admit that's pretty stupid.” Sandra said and laughed. We watched the scuffle for another minute, until the announcement for the return trip came over the loudspeakers.

“I have to go.” Sandra said. “Have fun playing with your new friends.”

“I will.” I said, then surprised her with a quick kiss. “You have fun, too.”

“Bye, Jack.” Sandra said and walked across the platform to the waiting subway car. I waved to her, then walked over to the edge of the platform near George.

“Hi, George.” I said. “How are you?”

“I'm being tickled.” George said, and I smiled.

“Thanks for coming to my rescue.” I said.

“You're welcome.” George said. “Can you do something about the thing on my back? She's hard to catch.”

“I'm always glad to help out.” I said, and walked around to look at George's back. “Alyssa? Can you stop that, please?”

“What?” She looked up from what she was trying to do; pry her way inside George's cockpit with her combat knife.

Boy, is her info out of date! I thought. The Mark 6 hasn't had an actual cockpit for almost a year. I smiled at her. “George is getting a little annoyed at you for tickling him.”

“Wh-what?” Alyssa said, shocked. “I'm t-t-tickling him?!?”

I chuckled. “He says tickle, but I'm pretty sure he means it's more like... you know how you sometimes get an itch on your back and you can't quite scratch it?”

Alyssa nodded.

“It's like that. He can swing his arms around to dislodge you, but he runs the risk of hurting you if he does.”

“He... he's trying not to hurt me?”

I pointed to her squad mates. “They're only being detained.”

“But Crush screamed...”

“MmmMM!” Crush tried to saw with a coil around his mouth.

“He claims he yelled and didn't scream.” I translated for her, and she smiled.

“He over-reacted again.” Alyssa said.

“So did all of you.” I said. “Look, I have a problem with you guys coming with me; but, the System says you should come. I get that.” I looked at her sternly. “I will not be ordered around, manhandled, or impeded in my tasks.”

“But our job...”

“Is to guard me. You are bodyguards. You're supposed to protect me, not cause trouble that I need to be protected from.”

Alyssa sighed, then jumped down from George's back. “We've really screwed this up by the numbers.”

“On a scale from One to Ten, with One being the worst and Ten being the best, you're squad is about a Negative Three on the Competency Scale.” I said and smiled at her. “I'm being conservative, too.”

Alyssa shook her head as she climbed up onto the platform. “Our sergeant was right.” She said. “We are out of practice dealing with norms.”

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

“Negative Four.” I said to her, and she put a hand over her mouth.

“Ah, dammit.”

“You guys must be a ball at the common parties.”

“We're not allowed to attend.” Alyssa said. “Not even the ones designed for cyborgs.”

“What? Why?” I asked, surprised.

“Military classes aren't allowed to mix with civilians.” Alyssa said, then turned away from me. “Even if we wanted to.”

I turned and looked at George. “George? Am I a civilian?”

George laughed. “No civilian I've ever known was allowed to remote pilot a Mark 6 Industrial Tank.”

“WHAT?!?” Alyssa exclaimed, and her entire squad stopped struggling to get free; which they were never going to do anyways.

“I told you that you haven't been briefed properly.” I said to her and looked back at George. “So, do you think they're suffering an Eye-Dee-Ten-Tee error?”

“I'm pretty sure this one is.” George said and shook Crush. “It's almost recall worthy.”

I laughed. “I don't think it's that bad.”

“Are you sure?” George asked. “The Reclamation Compactor is right there.”

I looked at Alyssa. “What do you say? Do you think your squad can ease off the testosterone and do their jobs properly?”

Alyssa looked at me with her cybernetic eyes, but I couldn't tell what she was thinking. It was one of the downsides of replacing body parts with tech. You lose your ability to express yourself. After a moment, she nodded.

“Okay, George.” I said. “You can let them go.”

George extended his arms and placed three of the cyborgs on the platform; but when he went to put Crush down, the coil opened prematurely and dropped Crush about five feet. His metal feet hit the platform with a loud clang, and Crush almost lost his balance.

“Oops.” George said. “I think that actuator arm is acting up.” He laughed. “Jack, can you check it out when you get back?”

“Sure thing, buddy.” I said. “Anything for a friend.”

There was a loud klaxon sound, then George started to roll off the track.

“I have to go. The next Cross-Cavern Tour car is coming.” George said. “See you later.”

“Bye, George!” I said and waved as the three tons of metal and tank tracks rolled away.

“He dropped me on purpose!” Crush said, and checked his feet. “I can't believe you're friends with that thing.”

“Being friends with George comes in handy sometimes.” I said. “I probably could have asked him for a ride.”

“There's no suspension on that thing.” One of the male cyborgs said. “You'd be bruised and battered by the time you reached wherever it is that you're going.”

“It doesn't matter now.” I said and shrugged as I closed Rusty's access panel and put him down. “I'm going this way.” I said and started to walk away from them.

“Hey, wait!” Alyssa said and caught up to me easily. “Where are you going?”

“I guess you were too busy losing your fight to hear me talking to Sandra.” I smiled as I kept walking. I went down the stairs at the edge of the platform and started to walk down the street. “I'm heading to my father's vacation house at the edge of the Cavern.”

“It's dangerous to go there.” Alyssa said. “That's a Selected Combat Zone.”

“Wait, what?” I said, surprised. I stopped walking and the cyborgs around me stopped, too. Rusty barked at me once so I would look at him, and he nodded. “When did that happen?”

“Last week.” One of the male cyborgs said. “We had a skirmish there a few days ago.”

“Kicked their metal asses, too!” The other female cyborg said. “That was a good battle!”

“Only because you got the kill shot.” Crush said.

“You're just mad that a woman beat you to it!”

Crush clamped his metal jaw shut and didn't respond. The female cyborg slapped his shoulder playfully and laughed.

“That's probably why we were picked for this mission.” Alyssa said. “We have previous experience in the area.”

I nodded and started walking again. I thought having 5 metal babysitters was a bad idea at first; but, if it's a designated combat zone for skirmishes, I would have to be careful that I don't get caught up in anything.

“Jack.” Alyssa said. “When we get to the designated area, will you listen to us?” She asked. “I know you don't like that we're your bodyguards, but we do know what we're doing when it comes to combat.”

I sighed. I know she means well, but we both know they're protecting me for their own self-interest and not because they want to. “If something comes up, I'll listen to what you have to say; but, I'll make the decisions that concern my life.”

“You're really full of yourself.” The other female cyborg said, then smiled. “Did your arrogance come pre-loaded, or did you install it yourself?”

The other cyborgs laughed, and Alyssa turned away so I wouldn't see her smile.

“It's installed.” I said. “I did it myself right after my mother died; when my dad said he couldn't take care of me anymore.”

The cyborgs stopped laughing and Alyssa looked at me with wide eyes.

“Yeah.” I said and kept walking. We were almost at the transport rental place. “I was a Port Kid, too.”

“Then... why didn't you...” Alyssa didn't finish the sentence, but she did reach up and touch her cybernetic ear.

“I couldn't do it.” I said, and glanced at her. “No matter how many times I tried to convince myself that I was making myself better by cutting parts off...” I shivered slightly. “I just... I couldn't do it.”

“So, you weren't lying when you said you had a prejudice against us.” Alyssa said.

I nodded. “I also said you show your courage and bravery.” I said and looked at her. “I see it every time I look at you.”

Alyssa's face flushed red, and I smiled slightly as I looked forward again.

“Jack.” Alyssa said. “I have a question.”

“Go ahead.” I said, with an inkling of what it was she wanted to ask.

“What's an Eye-Dee-Ten-Tee error?” Alyssa asked.

Yeah, I knew she'd ask that. I thought. “I'll tell you after I rent a buggy.”

“Those old rovers suck.” One of the male cyborgs said. “If we knew we'd be travelling, I'd have brought the combat sled.”

I stopped walking before going in the door of the transport rental place, and turned to him.

“I booked a Cross-Cavern Tour, and you didn't know you'd be travelling?” I asked him. “Are your processors aligned properly?”

He looked like he was getting angry, and I looked at the other cyborgs.

“None of you thought we'd be travelling?” I asked, surprised. “You're joking with me, right?”

None of the others would look at me, and I sighed.

Maybe having these metal babysitters might not be a good thing after all. I thought and went into the shop. I rented a heavy duty one with extra batteries and a core line tap, and went back out front to the waiting cyborgs.

“They're assembling it now and will bring it out in a few minutes.” I said, then glanced back at the storefront. “I'm a little surprised this business is still so small after all these years.”

“Not a lot of crazy people rent things to go out exploring.” Crush said. “You're the first one I've met.”

I snorted a laugh. “I'm the crazy one?” I asked him. “I didn't attack an industrial maintenance tank for talking to me.”

“He's got you there.” One of the other male cyborgs said. “That was pretty crazy.”

The flesh side of Crush's face curved up in a smile.

“Here's your vehicle.” The sales girl said as the side of the building opened up and the vehicle was pushed out. It had six large and bulbous wheels with thick treads, a large seating area, and a cargo spot in the back.

“Alyssa and I are taking the front seat.” I said and motioned to the middle seats. “You'll have to argue over who has to sit in the cargo area in the back.”

I watched as there was a mad scramble for the vehicle's comfortable seats. Several punches were thrown, a kick barely missed someone's head, and then someone was picked up by the other three cyborgs and dumped into the back.

It was Crush.

“You enjoyed that, didn't you?” Alyssa asked me, and I winked at her.

“Not at all.” I said and waved her to the front seat. “After you.”

She nodded to me and climbed into the passenger side, and I sat in the driver's seat. I hit the gas pedal, and the ground rover rolled down the street.