Stephen:

Well fuck me sideways. If not for this food pack I would have already shit my pants. And the water in the so-called kitchen tap better be drinkable or I am still dead. Well I boiled it anyway but who knows where this water comes from.

This food pack is a lifesaver but I don't have enough of it.

Traps are the only way to go it seems but how do I even make one? Oh...what if I tie the dagger to a stick and make a spear out of it.

Well the knife would fall off with the thrust you idiot. Damn these pigs, I used to eat them like anything before...oh sweet mama bacon. Look at me now, how the turn tables. I can’t kill a single pig even when my life depends on it. Well, pigs with huge tusks. Why is food protecting itself? It should come straight into my mouth saying Yes sir! Yes sir! But No sir no, I have to kill them first and a fuckton at that. Just how many future bacons are there!

Who said guns would suck in a fantasy setting. If only I had taken one gun. ONE! But no, Mr Magician has to pull a dick out of a hat.

Now time for Stephen's attempt number three. This time the plan is to hide in the bushes, draw a single pig out and surprise attack it. I’ll go for a sucker punch, if you find it less than noble, well sue me.

And after a whole hour of crouching and hiding in bushes this is where I am now. Hiding in a bush behind a pig. Life goals, I guess. Hmm...is that what a pig’s asshole looks like. Should I shove my dagger up its ass? Would it do the job? No. Let’s go with the plan.

Let’s throw a rock there and call it at that location first.

Oh it looked there, yes piggy piggy, come to the location.

What? It looked away like nothing happened! Why?

Here goes another rock.

Ah, its ears twitched but it didn’t even turn back. Wait, it's going away!

The pig is ignoring me!? It doesn’t care where the sound came from! Seriously, last time I broke a stick accidentally your whole family was after me, you dumb fuck!

What do I do now?

I can only wait for another one or change my location.

This will be tough and very time consuming.

Robert:

Bob was standing on the ground near a tree holding his hammer with both hands. His concealed palm claw was on his right and the one hand crossbow was holstered at his waist.

His face was twisted in anger and looked lost. ‘Is this my life now? Does this Veera guy not know we have our own issues and problems to deal with. How many cases would go to my competitors because I was fucking kidnapped and thrown in a dungeon. They must be laughing to their banks right now. Hell!’

Robert Barone was a corporate lawyer, top of his class and a state level wrestler during college. After graduation he constantly climbed the ladder of success and even became one of the youngest vice presidents in his company at the age of thirty eight. He had an extremely busy schedule so he worked out very occasionally or played squash with his lawyer buddies. But his job involved sitting in one place for long hours and so also accumulated a lot of weight.

Standing at six feet three, he was a huge bulky man with muscular undertones on his arms and legs but also a belly protruding out of his armor. This look was only ever useful in a psychological sense standing next to shorter lawyers, or so he believed. But now the body could be put to use.

Bob came out of his daze as he looked ahead at a herd of boars roaming around. The boars haven't seen him standing behind the tree yet.

Bob has made up his mind. He was angry and frustrated. He had no intention of dealing with pigs in a long drawn out battle. ‘I have a hammer and I am pretty sure I can wrestle with a single boar and still kill it with the claw. The crossbow seems weak, I would need to target the eyes to deal any damage.’

This one hand crossbow was more like a bolt gun with string action. The top of the crossbow was covered with a circular metal encasing along its length, this was the string pull mechanism. It made taking proper aim almost impossible. With the magazine going in front of the trigger the whole crossbow looked more like an unwanted child of a pistol and a snail.

Five bolts could be loaded in a magazine and he had two magazines.

The bolts were only as big as the middle finger which Bob thought he promptly received from the voice.

With that thought in mind Bob came out from behind the tree and walked smoothly behind a boar.

He wasn’t hiding at all.

He was going all out.

‘I ate some food and slept well. Now it's time to get to work.’

He tightened his grip, raised his hammer above his head and swung down hard. Crushing sounds of bones breaking was followed by a loud squeal. The spine was broken; the pig dead. It attracted the attention of many other boars in the area. Some were startled, some prepared to dash in his direction.

A boar came from his right. He put his right foot in the incoming boar’s direction and swung his hammer from the ground arching up towards the boar’s chin. The hammer connected with the neck. The boar was sent sliding along the ground. It died somewhere in between the slide.

Three boars approached from front. Bob took out the crossbow and shot two bolts at two boars. The bolts didn’t penetrate enough but slowed them down. Bob raised his hammer again. The third boar had his head crushed. He didn’t give the other two any chance as he dashed forward.

He raised his hammer. One hit, one kill.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

He was walking forward and killing pigs.

Bob felt the crushing of skulls and bones through his hammer. He began to like the feeling of it.

‘Huh...even if I was given a bad hand at this, I Robert Barone will never go down without a fight. I will come out a winner here too.’

He was in a different mental state right now. The pigs were stupid and disorganised. Crowd control was easy. He killed all the boars that came charging towards him.

Once there was no boar in sight, he calmed down. He dropped down on the ground with heavy breathing. He was almost wheezing. But somehow he felt refreshed, rejuvenated from this experience. His body felt light, as if his anger was a physical thing and he had let it all out.

‘Time to collect these...dios...it seems.’ he thought.

After collecting all the crystals he strolled back casually to his cave. He walked back as if he already owned the place.

‘Now how do these crystals work? I suppose I put them in the computer here.’

“Twenty eight Dios received. Converted to twenty eight credits. Upgrade available. Put a weapon in the cylinder to upgrade or choose an option from the screen.

1. Upgrade soul abode.(locked)

2. Upgrade armor.

3. Upgrade self(locked)

4. Market.”

“What's in the market section?” Bob curiously rubbed his chin and asked

“Market

1. System market

2. Trade.(locked)

“

“Show me the system market.”

“System market:

1. Food pack:1:: Five credits.

2. Cooking Pot:1:: Three credits.

3. Soap:5:: one credit..

4. candle…

5. ….

“

‘So a lot of common things are available here. Some look useful too. But I won’t waste these credits on such things now. The best course of action would be to upgrade my weapons.’

Bob put his hammer in the cylinder.

“War hammer- Basic

Bludgeon: 11

Hook: 2

Endurance: 9

AP: 14.

Evaluation: A weapon that excels in powerful bludgeon attacks at the cost of versatility.

“

‘ It seems that two credits convert to one upgrade point but is it the same for all weapons?’

He then took out his claw and put it in the cylinder.

“Bagh Naka- Basic

Claw: 5

Endurance: 7

AP :14

“

‘The AP is the same. So I have to manage my AP like I managed my money and invest it in the right places it seems. Let’s save it for now.’

Bob decided to rest after his little adventure and prepare to wipe out the remaining pigs. His main issue now was how to deal with the bear.

The crossbow suffers from small dick syndrome, a bolt is too small to matter in a fight. Pitting his claw against the bear claw was like bringing a pistol in a bazooka fight. Range of the hammer would also not be enough to deal with a bear.

‘Ugh...I’ll deal with the bear after I am done with all these pigs.’ He thought as he went to rest for the day.

The next ‘day’ Bob was more than excited to begin his pig slaughter. He had a few crackers from the meal pack and a coffee that ended up tasting like ground beef because he made it in the tin can. He felt okay, probably.

He was now ready. He picked up his hammer, fixed his claw, and holstered his crossbow.

He slapped his face with both hands. ‘Let’s go then.’

He was, as again, not hiding in the slightest. He strolled ahead, hammer resting on his shoulder, all that was missing he thought was some early spring sunshine. ‘On that note, why is there light in this closed off cave?’

He soon reached near another horde of pigs, he whistled to attract their attention.

Heads were raised, so was a hammer. The pigs rushed forward. The leading pig that rushed right in the swing became an example no other pigs took. They were rushing madly towards Bob.

This time Bob already knew how to deal with them. He moved behind a tree and between bushes until one unlucky pig came close alone.

If there ever was a recording of this pig’s expressions, it would become the next best surprise face.

One hit, one kill and Bob moved on.

He felt that emotion again, a joy, a relief from all other issues of life. At this moment, he felt alive. He felt alive by killing pigs.

He took his time, managed his stamina, moved around and swung his hammer when he saw fit.

Until, the last pig remained. This was the biggest pig Bob has seen so far. ‘Is it the leader or something?’ Bob thought.

This last pig also walked casually towards him, it looked as if it considered Bob as beneath him and could take him out with a flick of its tusk.

He walked challengingly towards Bob.

They were both standing in an open area now. On one side was Bob with his hammer and on the other side was an arrogant bacon.

But Bob may actually have been beneath the pig as he took it personally.

‘You think you are the biggest pig in town huh?’

Bob held his hammer tight and this time he was the one who dashed towards the pig first and it was the pig who started to run away. The roles were reversed.

‘Come here you little shit.’

The pig used trees to dodge his hammer and hid somewhere in the bushes after creating some distance.

“Here piggy piggy, come to papa piggy piggy.”

Bob was strolling around as the pig searched for the perfect chance to strike.

Once the pig saw Bob’s back facing him, he charged forward.

“Ah there you are.”

Bob saw the pig coming and dodged to his side, but his leg was still grazed by the pig and he lost balance. As he fell down, he tried to grab the pig’s hind leg with his claw. The pig’s leg was injured, he rolled along the ground.

Bob got up as he moved towards the pig while dragging his hammer along the ground.

“You think you are the biggest pig in town, huh.”

“You think you are the real manly pig here, huh.”

He raised his hammer high.

“Know this you little shit. It's me.” he said as he swung his hammer down and continued talking in the heat of the moment

“I AM THE BIGGEST PIG IN THIS CAVE!!.”

“Wait!...what!...no!”

Bob looked around in embarrassment but calmed down as he realised no one heard him. The last pig was dead.