Chapter 4

“Junshin,” Reito said while steepling his hands together. Junshin paid attention.

“Yes?”

“You may feel like a prisoner here, but we’re doing everything that we can to help you. The complication of this Id coming up all of a sudden…one pattern I’ve noticed thus far is that it only manifested once out of the entire time that you’ve been here. Can you think of a reason why that would be possible?”

Junshin considered it. “I’m not sure. When you were testing my powers, I was really stressed out. The pressure of all the memory reconstructions, the psychic surgeries, and testing the limits of my powers—it became too much. I was stressed out.”

“Makes sense,” Reito murmured, considering further. “So when you’re stressed, that’s one of the ways that the Id may materialize. What point, in particular, made you stressed out about the testing?”

“I was…afraid that something bad would happen. And I felt like I would lose control.”

“I see…do you feel like you’re in control most of the time, Junshin?”

“I think so,” Junshin said while frowning. “But sometimes, I think that…I doubt that I have enough power to stop myself. The memory that I witnessed before in the memory construction was something that I probably suppressed. It’s obvious that I hurt someone in that memory. I don’t know who, or why, but that stressed me out. The thought of hurting someone makes me feel…as though I’m some kind of monster without any logic or reason. Just goes with the whims of his own pleasures and self preservation, just doing what he wants. I’m not sure if the Id was the one who hurt someone in that memory, or whether it was actually me. And that’s the part that’s killing me.”

“Junshin,” Reito said. “Our powers can be helpful to other people. But in other times, they can hurt, or even yes, kill other people. It is a double-edged sword, and we must be conscious about our intent and what we are using our powers for. I don’t think your intent is to harm or kill anyone, Junshin, though you’ve created a dangerous entity that is almost like a child…though another thing is…how was the Id created in the first place?”

“I don’t know, Junshin said truthfully.

“One thing that’s bothering me,” Reito said while he looked at Junshin with steel gray eyes. “Is that someone could’ve deliberately cultivated the Id inside of you.”

“Cultivated? What do you mean?”

Reito thought for a moment, before saying. “You were originally implanted with the Mind of God, yes? People who are said to have made contact with the mind of God would ’ve gone insane from all the knowledge and power that came with it. But teh Id is a defensive mechanism that prevents you from going insane, but it seems that it’s developing a personality of its own and it wants to assert itself as the dominant personality.”

“But you also said that it said I was a false personality,” Junshin said while thinking about it further.

“The id isn’t exactly trustworthy and it might be trying to mislead us. Hina’s idea about talking with the Id though…that plan may have some merit, as long as we get some information out of it. We may have a truth serum that we can put the Id under and use psychological tactics to get the answers that we want. Since the Id is influenced by you, I’m sure that being under the effects of a truth serum will affect it too.”

“I think that'll just make it angry though,” Junshin said doubtfully. “We need to get the Id to trust us.”

“And how exactly do we go about that, Junshin?” Reito said.

“I don’t know.”

Junshin shook his head.

“I’ll have to think of something. Though I think the Id’s influence is only going to get stronger, so we gotta do something about it first before it gains control over my body.”

—x—

“Junshin-kun,” Hina said as she watched the redhead carefully. “Do you think that you should rest a little bit. It won’t do to have you push yourself and then collapse.”

Junshin shook his head.

“I have to do this.”

“You have an incredible work ethic, though remember that you’re human and have limitations, too,” Hina said with a smile before she said. “You’re feeling much better, I trust?”

“I suppose so,” Junshin said. “I need something to do, or else I’ll be driven crazy.”

“You will need to recover,” Hina chided him. “Though I suppose I could bring something for you to read in the meantime. Aren’t books wonderful? They’re great for passing the time.”

“I like reading technical manuals and nonfiction rather than reading fiction,” Junshin said, to which Hina smiled at him.

“Do you know? You’re just that type of person, I suppose,” Hina said while restraining laughter. Junshin cocked his head at her. “When I’m not on my Medic duties, I consume tons and tons of fiction in one sitting. Stories, whether it's anime, manga, novels, and everything else in between, I love a good story.”

“I suppose that I’m too busy being the director of my own narrative that I don’t have time to think of made up exploits and adventures,” Junshin said before Hina waggled a finger at him in response.

“Did you know that in fiction there resonates a great truth that if something was accounted factually? You should try reading some books sometime, Junshin. I’m sure that you’ll enjoy the escapades of the imagination if you give it a chance.”

“Maybe,” Junshin said. “But tell me how you join the ANGeLS?”

“Oh? You thinking of fighting alongside us, perhaps?”

Junshin looked down. “Well, I made my choice, and I decided that I would rather work with you guys rather than against you guys.”

Hina laughed. “Well, I think some people are willing to scout you out, Junshin. It depends on what you plan on being in the ANGeLS. How do you wish to serve SeRAPH?”

Junshin clenched his hands into fists. “I want to find my brother. I know he’s out there somewhere…but it was my own cowardice and selfishness that led him to disappear. If he’s alive, I would like to apologize to him for running away, and not having the strength to save him.”

Hina nodded. “I originally took on the ANGeLS position because I was scouted by Reito at a young age for my biokinetic abilities. My family is very important to me, you see, and I wanted to make enough funds so that my sisters can graduate college without debt and my father can live an easy life. It’s very hard, you know, without a mother to take care of everything.”

“I’m sorry,” Junshin said, while Hina smiled at him.

“Don’t be,” Hina said before she handed Junshin a fictional book that she took out of her personal library. I’m always looking forward to the future. It holds so many exciting possibilities. No one can predict what’s going to happen. Not even the most carefully laid of plans can determine what a future holds, and ti can be unraveled at the seams by a slight variable or something else. But when you’re in this business, Junshin, you gotta have a good motivation for becoming a crime fighter like us.”

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

“I see,” Junshin said, before taking a deep breath. “I really want to join the ANGeLS. I decided this of my own volition. No one forced me into it.”

Hina smiled.

“As long as you’re willing, that’s all that matters. Anyway, we’re going to go through a training simulation for you. To help you control your powers.”

“Someone said that there was a special power hidden deep within me,” Junshin noted, to which Hina nodded.

“The problem is, though, we can’t always rely on that power alone. Which is why you need training. But after you’ve been given instruction and direction, I think that you will be a huge asset to the ANGeLS team.”

Junshin nodded.

“I see.”

“From what we’ve determined,” Hina said while she chattered on. “You can activate the Id under certain conditions. We’ve determined that you need to focus your mind on no other thoughts. You probably need a clearly stated goal in your mind to help you activate it. Because the id doesn’t activate out of senselessness or without purpose. Second, and we ’re going off a theory here, but visualization is very important. It’s like imagining what you want into reality. Of course, psionics is about visualization and making something into reality through a person’s desire’s, and the Id Is no different. But what makes the Id so special is that it’s a superpower without the limitations of psionics.”

“Interesting,” Junshin said while contemplating to himself.

“Well, let’s go to the training simulator room,” Hina said with a kind smile. “I’m sure Reito will want to observe you as well behind the glass window.”

“Okay,” Junshin said, as they walked out of the Infirmary and into the training simulation room where his superiors observed from above. “What do you want me to do?”

“Hm,” Hina said, putting a finger to her lip. “First you need to attach to this electrode here and put this helmet full of wires on. We’re going to monitor your brainwave activity and whatnot through this.”

Junshin obediently put the helmet on, awaiting further instructions as he did so. Someone behind the window operated the machinery to activate the helmet and wires, and Hina clasped Junshin’s hand within her own.

“Good luck, Junshin-kun,” Hina whispered. “Remember, I’m here to patch you up if anything happens.”

Junshin nodded. “Got it.”

Reito then activated the machines . Junshin felt a slight buzzing humming across his head through the helmet, and eventually, he relaxed. He needed to concentrate. He needed to think of the time when his Id activated, to make it work. IF his power wasn't’ reliable, then what good was it? He needed to learn how to activate it, at any time or anyplace. Junshin chewed on his lower lip. Concentrate. Ignore the pain of chewing on his lip, he needed to make this work. Or was he getting distracted again?

“Concentrate, Junshin-kun,” Hina said while wringing her hands.

Junshin then decided to focus on Hina. Her words encouraged him, and she had unshakeable faith within him even during the most trying moments. Junshin concentrated again.

Think about Hina, he thought. She has unwavering resolve in you. You must match that resolve. Think about the time that you activated your Id? Why did that happeN? How did it happen? What exactly triggered it?

Junshin thought even harder than he thought before. Back at that time…yes, he was feeling stressed. Under pressure. Wasi t stress that caused him to freak out and react? But there were plenty of other times that Junshin was also stressed, like for schoolwork, and his powers didn’t activate. So it seemed like it needed to be a desperado situation, didn’t it? Someone’s life was endangered? He knew that his friends were in danger and he wanted to save them. That meant he had a clear-cut goal in mind too. So there was a purpose and direction for his powers, and he needed a focal point to sharpen the spear and pinpoint it at an enemy.

He felt…angyr. But why? He wasn’t used to naming his emotions and telling what they are, but when Hina was in danger, Junshin felt a righteous anger and wanted to kill the enemy before him, to make sure the threat no longer endangered Hina’s life. So someone needed to be in danger, a life or death situation that challenged and pushed him? That made sense, but not every situation was going to be a life or death scenario, and there were smaller moments that called for his help. Junshin could help in a pinch when it came to desperado situations, but even then, that wasn’t guaranteed. He needed to make this work 100 percent of the time, not just part of the time or only under certain variables.

Junshin tried to flare his Aura, tried to visualize it as the tip of a sharp point drilling and honing in on that vital point. Yet, his Aura didn’t activate and the machinery hummed and throbbed, before malfunctioning. Junshin probably caused a lot of damage to expensive lab equipment, with no good results.

“I can’t do it,” Junshin said with a sort of heavy despair.

Hina unattached the electrodes and rods to him, before saying cheerfully. “You tried your best, Junsin-kun. Besides, I think we’ve got some important data on what does not work and what does. Thank you for your cooperation.”

Junshin gritted his teeth and pulled his hands into fists.

“I’m just not sure how I will be able to contribute if my power is this unreliable,” Junshin said before Hina laughed.

“Don’t worry about it, Junshin, you will receive a lot more training than just with your Id powers. You need to learn the art of marksmanship, martial arts, combat, and other things to be able to hold your own should your powers are disabled or are unreliable. The ANGeLS are prepared for anything, so they say, and you need these necessary combat skills to fight against the enemy. Well, I guess you’ve done a lot of thinking about it for now. For now, let’s celebrate and eat!”

“Thinking about it, I am rather hungry,” Junshin admitted.

“Using psionics takes up a lot of brainpower,” Hina said. “Which burns up glucose or the brain's energy. I’ll treat you to something good, Junshin. Your meal is all on me. How about it?”

“Sounds good,” Junshin said before Hina and he headed to the cafeteria to have lunch.

Hina paid as promised. A menagerie of delicious food awaited him, and Junshin ordered a lot of meal to satisfy his growling stomach. Hina watched him eat and clapped her hands together when he ate some miso ramen in gulping slurps, before chugging it down with some cola.

“This is very good,” Junshin said while he was munching on his food, before thanking Hina. “Thanks, Hina.”

“ No problem,” Hina said, before she said. “For now, you need to regather your strength. New ANGeLS recruits are coming in, and you will be training with them starting tomorrow.”

“Who are the new recruits?” Junshin asked wonderingly before Hina thought about it for a while.

“Well,” Hina said, “You’ll just have to see for yoruself, why don’t you?”

“Thanks for the meal,” Junshin said as he finished eating everything on the table. “I’ll pay you back once I start earning ANGeLS wages.”

“Oh, think nothing of it, Junshin-kun,” Hina said with a wave of her hand.

“You treated me,” Junshin said while looking her straight in the eyes. “And you said you were saving up money for your family to have your sister’s graduate from college debt free and have your father live an easy life. You didn't have to treat me, but you did out of the goodness of your heart. I really appreciate all that you’ve done for me, Hina…and I find that…the reason why I wanted to join the ANGeLS…was because of you.”

“Because of me?” Hina said with a smile, putting her hands on her cheeks while she looked at him dreamily.

“Yes,” Junshin said. “You inspired me to become the best that I wanted to be. I drifted through life before, not doing anything particularly important, but ever since I saw you fight and try your hardest to save me even when I was deadweight and ragged you down…you helped anyway. So I thank you, Hina…from the bottom of my heart.”

“Oh goodness, you’re going to make me blush,” Hina said while she waved a hand distractedly. “But really, Junshin, it’s just what I do. Being a hero isn’t easy, but it’s a mindset. It’s about decision making. And you choose to save the people important to you or those who need your help, over and over again, just for the reason that they need your help and you’re there to provide it for them. See? The ANGELS rea like, should I say it? The champions of justice.”

“They truly are great, aren’t they?” Junshin said admiringly. “A hero of justice. I like that.”

“Oh look, Reito-sensei is here,” Hina said cheerily before waving the dark-haired male over.

“Hina,” Reito said with a nod, then looked towards Junshin. “And Junshin.”

“What did you think about Junshin-kun’s results?” Hina said while clasping her hands together admiringly towards her elder.

“I think that we can do something with him,” Reito said with a slight grin towards Hina, before looking seriously at Junshin. “However, he’s got to work hard and keep up with his homework and studies and training if he wants to make it into the ANGeLS.”

“Understood,” Junshin said, “I will try my hardest.”

“There’s another matter that I need to discuss in private with Junshin,” Reito said to Hina. Hina nodded in understanding before she stretched her arms in the air.

“Well, Junshin-kun, I’m going to perform my duties in the Inf8irmary!” Hina said. “Make sure that you make your way there if you're hurt or just pop in to say hello if you like? Bye Reito, bye Junshin-kun !”

With that she scurried off, leaving Reito and Junshin alone. Reito guided him to a more private quarter, to his office, before he laced his hands together and looked towards Junshin with seriousness.

“We may have found a lead on your brother,” Reito said, and Junshin’s eyes widened. Eh slammed his palms on the desk, appearing frantic.

“You found him? But how? What is he doing? Do you think…is he okay?”

Reito held up a hand.

“One question at a time, please. Anyway, your brother was found somewhere within Tokyo, just as predicted."