### Chapter 5: When the Universe Says, 'Hold My Beer'

The Sovereign's perfect composure shattered like glass. "You dare... you dare treat divine authority as a mild curiosity?"

Kasian slurped another noodle. "Mm. The texture is improving as it cools."

"BEHOLD MY TRUE FORM!"

Golden light erupted from The Sovereign's body, his figure growing to tower over the marketplace. Wings of pure energy spread across the sky, each feather blazing with divine script. The very air hummed with power.

"First Divine Authority: Celestial Emperor's Dominion!"

Kasian picked out a mushroom from his bowl. "Nice light show."

The Sovereign's eye twitched. His form shifted again, reality warping around him as multiple arms of golden energy manifested, each wielding weapons of pure divine power.

"Second Divine Authority: Arsenal of the Heavens!"

"Could use more garlic though." Kasian tilted the bowl, examining the broth.

"THIRD DIVINE AUTHORITY: JUDGMENT OF THE COSMIC ORDER!"

The Sovereign's form became almost abstract, a being of pure divine energy that cracked the sky itself. Golden tears in reality revealed glimpses of other dimensions, each rippling with untold power.

Lei Ming, Aria, and Jin Wei stood transfixed, their earlier bravery dwarfed by this display of genuine divine might. Even their newfound strength in basics seemed insignificant before such power.

"Is he..." Lei Ming swallowed hard, "is he actually a god?"

Aria's grip tightened on her sword. "Seems that way."

"Fascinating," Jin Wei mused, then caught himself. "I mean, concerning. Definitely concerning."

The Sovereign's voice echoed from everywhere and nowhere. "WITNESS MY ULTIMATE DIVINE AUTHORITY! THE VERY FABRIC OF REALITY BENDS TO MY—"

"Are you done?" Kasian asked, scraping the bottom of his now-empty bowl. "The broth was getting cold."

The Sovereign's cosmic form actually stuttered. "What?"

"The noodles," Kasian explained patiently, "they're best at exactly 82 degrees. All this talking lets them cool too much." He looked genuinely disappointed. "I expected more from divine authority. At least some proper temperature control."

"YOU INSIGNIFICANT—"

"Though I suppose," Kasian continued, setting his bowl aside with careful precision, "I should thank you for the entertainment while I ate."

The Sovereign's power surged, reality itself groaning under the pressure. "DIE!"

Every divine weapon, every manifestation of cosmic power, every reality-shearing blast of energy converged on Kasian's position. The air itself seemed to scream as space and time buckled under the assault.

Certainly! Here’s a revised segment to include that moment of seriousness from Kasian, showing a brief hint of anticipation before he ends up disappointed:

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Every divine weapon, every manifestation of cosmic power, every reality-shearing blast of energy converged on Kasian's position. The air itself seemed to scream as space and time buckled under the assault.

Kasian’s usual laid-back expression shifted, his eyes sharpening as he let out a faint exhale, steadying himself in a rare, almost calculated stance. His fingers flexed, one hand rising in front of him, and for the first time, he leaned forward, grounding his feet firmly as though he anticipated something that might actually require effort.

"Finally," he muttered, a glint of something close to excitement crossing his eyes. "Maybe this might be worth my time."

As the wave of divine power crashed down, he moved—just a hair faster, a shade more precise than usual, and his arm flicked forward, cutting through the surge like a knife through water. But just as the clash should have reached its peak, the entirety of The Sovereign's divine arsenal dissolved like morning mist. Kasian’s heightened stance relaxed as quickly as it had formed, his gaze cooling in a flash of disappointment.

The entirety of The Sovereign's divine arsenal dissolved like morning mist. His cosmic form flickered and faded, divine authority scattering like leaves in the wind. In seconds, he stood in the crater-marked square, once again human-sized and looking thoroughly confused.

Kasian sighed, dusting off his sleeve as if nothing at all had happened. "That’s it?" he asked, his tone filled with an unmistakable disappointment. "I thought divine meant something special."

"But... but I am a god!" The Sovereign's voice cracked. "My power transcends mortal understanding! I am beyond—"

"Boring." Kasian flicked a finger, and The Sovereign went flying through several buildings before landing in the town fountain. "Now, about dessert..."

The crowd that had been cowering behind overturned market stalls slowly emerged, blinking in confusion.

"What happened to the divine power?" someone asked.

"Must have been a pressure system," a scholarly-looking man explained. "The rapid heating and cooling of air masses can create unusual atmospheric phenomena."

"Yes, yes!" Another chimed in. "And the alignment of celestial bodies clearly caused some sort of natural energy dispersion!"

Lei Ming, Aria, and Jin Wei exchanged glances.

"Did he just..." Lei Ming started.

"Beat a god while critiquing noodles?" Aria finished. "Yes. Yes he did."

Jin Wei opened his mouth, clearly ready to make a grand declaration, then stopped himself. "You know what? I'm not even surprised anymore."

As the town celebrated their "heroic defense" against the "unusual weather phenomenon," the trio found themselves surrounded by grateful citizens and fellow warriors.

"Such bravery!"

"The way you three held off the divine assault!"

"True heroes of the Association!"

Aria accepted the praise with a slight nod, no longer bothered by unearned recognition. Lei Ming smiled and directed attention to his fellow defenders. Even Jin Wei managed to accept congratulations without a single dramatic pose.

"Speaking of the Association," Lei Ming looked around, "where did Kasian go?"

Aria pointed to a distant sign advertising a dessert competition. "Three guesses."

"I demand a rematch!" Jin Wei declared, then caught himself. "I mean, I would appreciate the opportunity to demonstrate my improved basics. If he's not too busy judging pastries."

In the days that followed, life in the town settled into a new rhythm. Lei Ming found himself teaching basics to eager students who had witnessed the battle. Aria's reputation grew, but now for her actual skills rather than mistaken attribution. Jin Wei made a ceremony of burning his old elaborate costumes, though he did save one. "For special occasions," he insisted.

The Warriors' Association scrambled to explain the events, eventually publishing a thirty-page report on "Atmospheric Anomalies and Their Effects on Martial Techniques." Three entire pages were dedicated to explaining how barometric pressure could create the illusion of divine authority.

And Kasian? He became an honored judge at local food festivals, his critiques feared more than any divine authority. His only comment on The Sovereign incident was to note that the fountain water had actually improved the texture of his opponent's robes.

Some said The Sovereign had been humbled into becoming a chef, endlessly seeking to create a bowl of noodles that would impress his defeater. Others claimed he had ascended to a higher plane of existence. The truth was probably somewhere in between, though the Association's official position remained firmly on the side of unusual weather patterns.

In the end, the town had its heroes: three warriors who had found strength in simplicity and unity. They had faced divine authority with nothing but basics and teamwork, and while they might not have landed the final blow, they had earned something more valuable than victory.

They had earned the right to roll their eyes every time someone blamed Kasian's actions on the weather.

"You know," Jin Wei mused one evening as they shared a meal, "I think I finally understand what true strength means."

"Let me guess," Aria smirked, "it's not about fancy techniques or divine authority?"

"Actually," he replied with dignity, "I was going to say it's about having proper form while performing basic techniques." He straightened his posture. "Which I do better than both of you, naturally."

Lei Ming and Aria shared a look, then threw their napkins at him.

Somewhere in the distance, Kasian's voice drifted through the evening air: "Who adds cinnamon to ramen? Amateur mistake."

Some things, at least, would never change.