Squirrels are evil, terrible creatures.

It doesn’t matter how cute or cuddly they look. A fat, pudgy gray squirrel can destroy anything and everything you love without even a second thought. Did you know an adult gray squirrel eats its weight in birdseed every single day?

Poor homeowners would go bankrupt if they tried to appease the gluttonous hordes. After they run out of the food you placed out for the kind and gentle birds, the squirrels will try to eat anything in sight. Power lines, security camera cables, trash cans, walls; you name it and they will try to devour it.

The leading cause of power grid failure in Texas is squirrels. What’s worse is that, even after they have had their fill, they will continue to take and take and take. If capitalism was ever manifested in physical form, it would be a gray squirrel.

Believe me, they are evil incarnate.

That’s why I decided, out there by the east fence of the easternmost wheat field, that I would make it my mission to correct the injustices perpetrated upon the farm by those gray furred menaces.

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Thank you, System. At least you understand the menace that the squirrels represent.

I wasn’t stupid enough to dive headfirst into the Dungeon, especially when I wasn’t much bigger than a large squirrel myself, but at least now I had a goal to work towards. Back outside the danger that the Dungeon represented, I put my new [Skills] to the test.

[Track] had proved easy enough to use, at least with a fresh scent. The text mentioned I could also use it on items and objects, but that seemed odd. How would I find an object without a scent to start with? Maybe it only worked on objects that I was familiar with.

There were other skills I had to test out. [Mark Territory] seemed obvious, but there were still questions as to its limits. How large could my territory be? How many territories could I control at once?

[Scan] was even more of a mystery. The only times I’d been able to trigger the skill were when I was up close and personal with the target. That made little sense to me. My sense of smell was so developed that I could sense colors. Why would there be a limitation on distance, despite being able to take in the same information from afar?

The additional aspect of [Bark] was intriguing. Infusing my voice with emotion seemed fairly straightforward. Normally, people did this naturally every time they spoke. I suppose being a dog made the ‘speaking’ part more difficult, but there was nothing else to do but try… after I got away from the death-trap that was the Dungeon.

Pushing myself to the limit, I took off toward the milk-house. Cutting through the wheat field, heading west, I tested the limits of my speed. Fence posts whipped by one after another, leading me to the well-traveled dirt path that was the hub of transit on the farm.

Turning north onto the path, I was met with a new obstacle. There was a pickup truck heading directly at me. While the truck wasn’t traveling at a high speed, I was. With how much I was pushing myself, it became difficult to avoid the dangers of the thoroughfare. A paw caught in a slight depression and I went tumbling head over paws.

The truck came to a stop a fair distance away. The crunching of dirt beneath the wheels and the squeak of the brakes was deafening in the silence. My anxiety spiked, so much so that I could hear the pounding of my heart in my ears.

“You alright, buddy?” a firm, strong voice called out.

The sound of the truck door closing and the crunching of footsteps drew my attention away from the pain radiating through my ribs. Plowing into the hard-packed dirt at full speed was not fun.

“Let’s have a look at you.”

Strong hands lifted me up to eye level with the new arrival, grasping me around the torso. I let out an involuntary whine, my damaged ribs aching.

“Sorry bud.”

His dulcet tones helped to calm the pounding in my chest. Before me stood the spitting image of the owner, if he was 20 years younger. This must be his son.

Atop his head was the same wavy chestnut hair, albeit a bit more unkempt. With less wrinkles and a less pronounced jawline, the owner’s son must have inherited the vast majority of his traits from his father. Clad in the same tee-shirt and jeans combo, the likeness was uncanny.

He smelled of tomato sauce and burned bread, with subtle undertones of fresh cut grass. The aura projecting from my smelling superpower was a brilliant green, like a well-groomed lawn in summer.

Not one to waste an opportunity, I sniffed his face before he could put me down, activating [Scan].

>> Scan Complete

>> Name: James Mercer, Junior

>> Class: Farmer

>> Level: 9

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

>> James is the eldest child of James Mercer, Senior. Lovingly known as ‘JJ,’ James works with his father to keep the farm running and profitable. At 16 years old, James enjoys driving around town, spending time with this girlfriend, and pizza. James may have pizza, unlike Talia.

“Ahh. You’re fine, bud. Got to be more careful racin’ ‘round like that.”

Setting me back on my feet, he patted my head a few times and made his way back to the truck. I let out a [Herding Bark], trying to respond on instinct.

“Thank you!” I yipped.

He had no idea what I said. It was just a bark, and I was still a dog. When he turned back to wave, his lopsided grin told me he understood the intent, at least. I ran off into the closest pasture, letting JJ get back to his business. He must be very busy. He was the owner’s son, after all.

I seemed like my new skills were functioning properly and easy to use, but almost getting hit by a truck and being saved was hardly a conclusive test. Since the name of the skill referred to herding, it was time to find some sheep.

The pasture I was currently running through was sparse, mostly just trimmed grass and a fence in need of repair. This was probably one of the training areas for the horses or just an unused plot for future expansion. Regardless, there were no sheep.

The sun dipped below the distant trees as I passed the barn. Shadows crawled and danced all around, giving the entire farm an odd feeling. Not a bad feeling, just an odd one. It was like the feel you get when someone is staring at you.

Seeing as it was getting dark, I realized the sheep wouldn’t be out and about. My search was futile. Disappointed, I turned around and made my way back to the red walled monstrosity that passed for a barn.

Inside, Apples and my unnamed brother were sleeping. They had changed the hay today, so it was soft and comfortable. I laid down next to my brother and curled up to sleep. But the System had other plans.

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I sprang to my feet, suddenly full of energy. The farm was under attack? I needed to save it!

Dashing out of the barn door, I scanned the immediate area for threats.

The sun was fully down, the moon just cresting the tree line. Shadows danced upon the dark landscape, making it seem like a sea in storm. Nothing jumped out at me, but there was an odd feeling in the air. A sense of… wrongness.

Sniffing the air provided no answers, [Track] not activating without a source to follow. I took off toward the farmhouse, following the simple logic that an attack would target the most important aspect of the farm.

Racing up the path, I focused on my feet. The tumble from earlier was still fresh in my mind, and my aching ribs. Running on four legs was a novel experience, not entirely different from running on two, but not the same. With a tail providing balance, I could reach speeds that were unobtainable in my former life.

As I approached the farmhouse, I saw a pair of blinking gold lights from a compact sedan. It was parked at the front door, with hazard lights flashing. The owner and his family would always park out behind the milk-house, preferring to keep the trucks out of sight.

On the porch was an ominous-looking man. He was dressed in a long overcoat down to the knee, with black slacks and dress shoes peaking out of the bottom. Atop his head was a black bowler cap covering a mop of unruly hair. Beside him sat a large unmarked box which glowed blacker than black to my new senses.

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I hated him. It was a deep, almost instinctual resentment that bubbled and broiled under the skin.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Who was this person who thought he could just waltz into my territory? This was my land, my family. It was time to take your stupid briefcase and over-sized box and leave.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

How dare he even touch the door to the owner’s home? How dare he?!

Thump.

Thump.

Creaaaaaaak.

Light creeped out from the open door, deepening his silhouette even more.

“Do you know what time it is?”

JJ's annoyance was clear. He had school tomorrow and Talia was already sleeping. My anger only grew at the thought of this intruder waking Talia from her slumber.

“Whatever you’re selling, we ain’t interested,” he continued in a clipped manner.

“Sir, if you would just give me five minutes of your time—”

“No. I’m going back to bed.”

In a truly profound act of brilliance, the man stuck his foot in the door. Literally.

“This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, sir. Never again will you have the chance to witness the sucking power of a modern day marvel.”

I had enough. The anger was overwhelming, and I darted forward. [Herding Bark] activated over and over as I raced onto the porch. Tinkling laughter drifted out of the door as JJ spotted my approach.

“Good boy, Charlie. Show him who’s boss.”

My bark echoed off the walls of the farmhouse, infused with all the rage I could muster. The man towered over me, but he was distracted. He was still trying to complete a sale, even with me nipping at his heels?

I was close enough to active [Scan] now.

>> Scan Complete

>> Name: Unknown

>> Class: Vacuum Salesman

>> Level: 14

>>Vacuum Salesman are merchants of death. They profit off the pain and insecurities of puppies everywhere. Teach him a lesson he won’t forget.

My teeth contacted a pant leg, and I pulled with everything I had. Whipping my head back and forth, pulling more and more, he slowly lost his balance.

“What the hell?” he growled.

Time slowed as he fell, giving me a rather fabulous view of his confused expression. I kept biting at exposed flesh while he was vulnerable. Unfortunately, my teeth were small and my bite strength was minimal. I was born just a week ago, after all.

“That’ll show ya,” JJ said before slamming the door.

The salesman stood, allowing me to dash through his legs and reposition at his back. I continued the assault while he removed the ominous box from the porch and headed back to his car.

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The sedan turned around, making its way back down the path and back toward the road. Pride welled up inside, forcing my tail to wag again. The damn thing never stopped. I fell over because of the shaking, but it didn’t matter.

The farm was safe.