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Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation

After wrapping my finger and disinfecting it liberally with peroxide (thinking back I had no idea how long it had been since I cleaned that knife) I wandered into my room to wake up Ali (wearing oven mitts and a suit of hastily constructed pillow armor for my own protection)and told her to get her toned but bouncy ass out of bed because we were going out to do the most important video game activity of all. Grinding!

Ali got up and managing to pull out the greasy steak knife she had hurled into the wall where my junk had been after my commentary on her ass hopped in the shower as I went to get ready myself. Finding and grinding skills was going to be very important for us, and my biggest priority at the moment was obviously luck based skills. I poked my head into the bathroom while Ali was showering to yell as much to her over the water. She wasn’t the shy type around me and the door was fogged anyway so she had no problem answering me “I’m not sure where can find luck based skills for you, but it shouldn’t be too hard to make some. From what they said doing anything can create a skill.”

I leaned against the door to the bathroom, squinting at the shower to try to get a glimpse through the steamed and beveled glass, to no effect. I wouldn’t have even come in here if I thought I could actually see anything, but a token effort amused me while I waited. “I was thinking we could hit a casino maybe? Or like a bingo parlor?” I heard a snort and some actual giggles from within the steam.

I winced, having known as soon as I said it that I was about to get mercilessly mocked. “A bingo parlor?” Ali’s voice was thick with laughter “Maybe we could go find some odds on a competitive shuffleboard tournament? Or try to hustle some people with how much tapioca pudding we can eat?” I let out a sigh and hung my head, she had one more before she was done, and there was really no stopping her until she was finished. “Or maybe we can make some extra cash suping up motorized wheelchairs.” She burst out in peals of laughter, collapsing against the shower wall and in my opinion, far too pleased with her own jokes.

I glared daggers at the steamy shower as Ali took far too long to stop laughing at her own joke, eventually stepping out to talk through the door when the water shut off. After making a few more jokes at my expense she stepped out of the bathroom dressed and ready and we headed out to look for some trouble. We took a minute to talk to the doorman who told Ali about the club, but didn’t notice anything odd so we decided to put it off for later.

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I also decided to wait on my seal, because if Ali found out about the half pound of gold she would undoubtedly weasel the rest of the story out of me and my useless papercut would become yet another source of mockery. Before heading to look for some games of chance however Ali dragged me to a park to try to grind some physical skills and maybe get a few more for our trouble.

Despite knowing what kind of person she was I couldn’t help glare at her when she told me her plan when we got to the park. “That is without a doubt the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard. And I’ve known you for years. I’m not breaking my legs so you can amuse yourself.” She had dragged me over to a reasonably tall bathroom structure and was insisting we climb it.

She glared at me “Don’t be a little bitch Ethan. It’s a fifteen or twenty foot drop so you wont break anything. Besides I’ve seen tons of videos on youtube, all you have to do is tuck and roll. Just think how awesome a free running skill would be once we level it a bit.” She stated all of this patiently as if not wanting to potentially cripple myself from the waist down was a severe moral failing.

That last part was alarming “Ok, when did this turn into a ‘you’ thing instead of a we thing? And those guys on youtube are pros, people dunk basketballs on youtube too, doesn’t mean I can do that shit. This is not a negotiation, I’m not jumping off this building, tuck and roll or otherwise, and nothing you or anyone else can say or do will change my mind.” Which was of course when the universe decided to chime in.

You have been offered a quest by [Allison Tierney] Be a man!: Jump from the top of the bathroom building and avoid crippling yourself in the process! Due to doubled experience this quest offers you 300XP! Secondary reward, increased favorability with Allison! Do you accept?

My eyes widened at that. Three hundred Xp would level me at least once, probably twice! I scowled at Ali, who seemed to also be reading a prompt. I wondered if she got some kind of quest giver notification? Never mind, didn’t matter. I looked quickly around the park to check if anyone was there to see my potential maiming. The building was in a depression between two grassy hills at the top of which sat trees shading stone picnic tables and those really basic iron post grills they leave in parks for people who want to have a picnic. The whole place looked empty, with only the two of us occupying the park.

I sighed and glared at her before accepting the quest. Getting up onto that building wasn’t exactly easy or dignified. I had to scramble a lot and tore the leg of my pants on a bent door hinge, but I finally got up. I glared down at Ali who was beaming up at me expectantly, and with a deep breath, stepped off the building and plummeted to the ground. I hit the ground hard, letting my legs buckle forward into what I was trying to make a graceful roll. The last thing I saw before my head smacked into a rock did make me smile though. I guess I really did make it to level three.