People would say that an ability like mine was either a gift from God, or a gift from the Devil. I myself stopped trying to figure that one out. Truthfully, it didn’t matter where my ability came from, it was mine, and I would use it however I saw fit.
All things considered, I wasn’t very special at all. I was a 25-year-old, average-height, light-skinned black guy working a basic 9-5 at my local mental health clinic—trying to convince those who were mentally unwell to live for just one more day. It was a respectable job, although the paperwork sometimes made it unbearable. Other than that, my job was predictable and uneventful.
Except for that day.
Everyone in the building had been called into a meeting room for an urgent announcement, apparently coming from the program director himself.
He walked in the room, wearing a spruced up blue suit contrasted by a gold rolex on his left wrist. His hair neatly parted and gelled. I was half-amazed it was actually him. It had to have been years since he last stepped foot in our clinic.
He tightly fastened his tie and cleared his throat.
“I’m sure you are all wondering why Todd didn’t show up for work today,” he said. “I’m very sorry to inform you all, but…” The director's voice trailed off, he wiped his glossy eyes against his sleeve. “Todd… Todd is no longer with us.”
Quiet murmurs rippled throughout the office as everybody in the room exchanged troubled glances.
“I am sorry to deliver this news to you all. He passed away peacefully yesterday… in his sleep—” The director’s voice cracked and crumbled into incoherent sobs.
“Oh, give me a break…”
Todd was a piece of garbage. He used his power and authority as our manager in order to harass his staff, and manipulate vulnerable clients who came to him for guidance.
The only thing I regretted was not being able to get rid of him sooner. His dream wasn’t difficult to navigate and his Dreamer wasn’t hard at all to defeat. All the prep I did in advance really was for nothing.
As the program director balled his eyes out, no other soul in the building shed a single tear. It would remain that way as well. As I scanned the many faces of my coworkers around the room, I saw confusion, concern, bewilderment. This was to be expected, after all Todd was in perfect health and his death was sudden.
I anxiously waited for the director to finish giving his flimsy speech about Todd and his life. At the end he invited everyone to the funeral and sent us on our way.
But as soon as I twisted the door handle to leave.
“Daymond…”
“Damn!”
I peeked over my shoulder. The program director stared back at me, his eyes still misty from his heartfelt speech. “I know that you served directly under Todd’s management. I know as well as anyone that news like this can shake up even the strongest of men.”
I wanted nothing more than to die at that very moment, and ascend to whatever afterlife awaited me. Anything other than being in that conversation right then. I clenched my jaw and managed a hesitant nod of agreement.
“If you ever need to talk to someone, son. Please, don’t hesitate to let me know. I can arrange something for you.”
I beamed a bright, vibrant smile.
“Thank you, sir. I’ll be sure to.”
—break—
At my desk, I examined the next appointment on my timesheet.
Kate Collins. A petite, brunette, 21-year-old girl who suffered from chronic anxiety. She was recovering from a troublesome relationship with her ex-boyfriend. Due to the effects of that past relationship, her mother claimed she was traumatized and was unable to secure a job. She also would refuse to go out in public in most cases.
I could see why.
My first few sessions with her, I couldn’t get her to say anything more than a few words. For victims like her, trust was crucial before they could properly express themselves.
Her mother described her as being a shy, but happy girl before she became involved with her ex-boyfriend, Tyler. Her mom hardly knew anything about the kid, nothing important anyway. He was just a hothead who she dreaded to be around. Although the relationship ended seven months ago, Tyler would still send death threats to both her and her mother. This had caused Kate to become paranoid and her mother feared she was on the brink of a mental breakdown. Kate was actively pursuing a restraining order against Tyler, but he retaliated by vandalizing their property. The police weren't able to conclusively connect him to the vandalism.
I flipped over to the next page in the file. I usually kept a page open for case notes so I could track progress through our sessions and refresh my memory before I spoke with the client—but in this case, my notes were completely empty.
Empty… and we were going on our third session.
Our past conversations had all been completely one-sided, but even then all I could do was be patient and listen. It was just difficult to listen, when there was nothing to listen to.
I carefully slipped the pages back into the manila envelope, filed it away in my cabinet—and then, with notebook and pen in hand, made my way toward the room.
As I entered, Kate was sitting slumped over in the armchair before me—dejected as always. Her eyes were shadowed by her oversized black hoodie. I took my seat as she scratched nervously at her forearm.
“Good afternoon, Kate,” I said with a cheery tone. “I know that you may think that our meetings can be a bit intimidating. But please, always remember, I am here for you and you only. Now, is there anything you would like to talk about today?”
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Kate clenched her lips together and tilted her head downwards, her chin nearly touching her chest.
“I really am trying to help you, Kate. This is a safe space free of judgment, and nothing between us leaves this room. You can tell me anything.” I leaned back leisurely and pressed my back against my chair, crossing one leg over the other. “How about we start with your day? Did you have a good day today?”
The ceiling fan overhead hummed quietly as Kate softly rubbed her palms against her knees. The tension in her body was visually prominent as she delicately swayed back and forth.
A few minutes of tense silence followed, punctuated only by Kate's hoarse cough.
“Would you like a cup of water?” I asked kindly.
She gently nodded, and in response, I stood up and left the room.
All I needed was a single breakthrough. One little detail to give me a hint on where I could find this guy named Tyler. All I needed to know was his job, or maybe a place where he liked to go in his freetime, his school, anything at all. But she gave me nothing. She refused to speak to me. Getting her some water would help towards building a little bit of a connection, but it surely wouldn’t be enough. Their situation wasn’t going to get any better. If I wanted to find Tyler before he could do more damage, I needed to try something else.
Something with a little more risk. Something sure to get a reaction—although, I wasn’t certain if it would be a good one…
As I returned to the room, she timidly accepted the cup of water.
I dusted off my chair, and sat sternly. Delicately placing my notebook on the stand beside me.
“Did Tyler ever hurt you, Kate?”
Kate jerked back in her seat and immediately stiffened.
I clicked the end of my pen on and off against the arm rest.
“Did you hate him because of it?”
Kate swallowed the rest of the water left in her mouth, and shakily lowered her cup to the table.
“I’m sure that you would hate him after he did something so egregious towards you. I most certainly would. In fact, I bet that you wish he was behind bars right now.” I leaned my body forwards, trying to catch a glimpse of her eyes beneath her hood. “And yet, when asked by detectives, you refused to participate in the investigation… Why is that?”
Kate slowly raised her head to eye level. Her pale blue eyes crawled out from beneath the shadow.
“I couldn’t imagine why anyone in your position would refuse to cooperate.”
“They wouldn’t do anything about it anyways,” she said, coldly.
“Is that something you truly believe?”
Her eyes widened.
“Or is that just an excuse you tell yourself?”
“Why would I lie about something like this?” she said callously.
I had to choose my words very carefully. Depending on her personality, the next few moments would either cause her to completely shut down and never speak to me again, or would cause her to become defensive. Applying psychological pressure is risky. I was definitely taking a gamble, but she wasn’t speaking to me before anyways, so it was worth a shot.
“I really don’t know, Kate. Maybe you just enjoy the attention. Or maybe he wanted to part ways and you weren’t ready for that…”
Kate straightened in her chair, staring at me as if I were some alien creature. “You think I would do this just to get back at Tyler?”
“I’d make no such claim,” I said briskly. “I don’t know anything about you—or him for that matter. All I know is that if I were in your situation, I would tell the cops everything I know without hesitation.”
She clenched her hands tightly around the bottom rung of her hoodie.
“Whatever it is, we can unpack this together, Kate… Like I said before, nothing talked about here leaves this room. It would also make sense if there were financial incentives. It’s alright, I’ve seen it before. A young lady starts to date a wealthy businessman—becomes sour and tired of the relationship. Decides to sue him for everything he’s worth in civil court but doesn’t want to file any criminal charges—”
She snapped forward. Her eyes alert.
“Are you kidding me?” she exclaimed shrilly. “He’s broke!”
“And his occupation?”
“He works as an insurance agent, you asshole!” her words punched through the silent office like a freight train. “Is that what you think? You think I’m a liar!?”
“…So from complete silence to full on shouting. Well, it wasn’t ideal, but it was something.”
Kate buried her face in her trembling palms. “This is what I knew would happen,” She said softly, wiping the tears streaming down her cheeks. “I didn’t speak to the police because I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to explain it to a group of men that I don’t know…” Her voice and body tremored as she smothered her face into the arms of her hoodie. “You don’t understand, nobody ever understands…”
The room fell silent once again, it was clear that she had been holding back those emotions for a very long time.
I rose from my seat and placed my hand delicately on her shoulder. “Forgive me, I know what I said was very harsh. Sometimes it takes a lot to get someone to release the tension that's been accumulating in their mind.”
Kate’s head sank deeper, “What are you talking about? Are you saying that was all some kind of test…? How could you do something like that to someone?”
“It wasn’t a test at all, Kate,” I said softly. “Your mind is fortified with negativity due to the past trauma you have endured. You let it fester inside of you and don’t allow anybody to help you, you have no outlet to release it. I wanted to create a space to show you that you can let out what you’ve been holding onto for so long. I know that I came across as ruthless, for that I am truly sorry. But I need you to know that I believe you, and I am here to support you.”
Kate slowly lifted her head. I sent back a warm smile as I carefully rubbed her shoulder.
“It’s alright,” I said.
She said nothing more, I didn’t need her to.
“We will wrap things up here for today, despite being brief, I understand that was a whole lot to unpack for one day. We will pick up where we left off next week,” I continued to give her a cheerful smile. “Since we were able to get past a major speedbump, I look forward to having a much more uplifting and productive conversation with you at our next session.”
“...Okay…” she whispered.
As she packed up her bookbag, I waited patiently by the door. “Oh—one other thing, Kate.”
She paused.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what was the last name of your ex-boyfriend? I would like to keep it on file for my notes.”
“...Baskins,” she murmured.
It was far too suspicious to ask her what insurance company he worked for. I would have to find a way to figure that out later. But for now I got a first and last name, that was fine by me.
“Thank you…” I said as I scribbled on a piece of my notebook paper.
She heaved the strap of her book bag around her shoulder as she headed out the door that preceded me.
“Miss Kate—” her eyes locked with mine. “You did a great job today, I want you to know that. You aren’t alone in what you’re going through, even if you do feel like it at times. As for Tyler, I know it’s hard, but do your best not to let him have any more control over your thoughts. Please remember, whether you decide to speak up against him or not—these things usually find a way to work themselves out.”
Kate sniffled softly and nodded.
I escorted her through the building to the main exit on the first floor, and gave her one more farewell as she left. Once she disappeared from view, I let out a long sigh. I knew that Kate was likely going to have to deal with the pain that Tyler had caused her for the rest of her life. It was my job to help her manage that pain. She made an appointment with me for next week—an appointment to tell me about all the different ways that Tyler ruined her life. So instead, before her next session, Tyler would be losing his. If it was any consolation, he would finally experience the same fear which he so readily inflicted.