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Slam!

“FUCK!”

Sliding in, yes, sliding across the floor into the room, a young woman entered, falling face first in what felt like slow motion before she chose to lay there. It took her a few seconds to get up, throwing herself into a random seat while fixing her hair.

Her jet black hair only extended a couple inches or so past her ears, her striking brown eyes scanning the room. A mess of silver hair clips adorned the left side of her head, with a sunflower clip in the right side. She wore a white shirt with a dark blue ribbon at the neck, along with a fashionable looking sky blue jacket. Her jacked appeared embroidered with intricate patterns: stems and leaf sewn into the sleeves, two daisies trawling around the bottom cut of her torso, and finally two red tulips growing up towards the shoulders with another sunflower clip pinned to the collar for good measure. Her nails were painted a striking red against her white skin, and she wore white ankle warmers, a white and green plaid skirt, and plain brown slip-on shoes.

“Tardy, but the clock didn’t exist when I was your age, so I shall let it pass,” I said. “Sit down. You almost missed the words of wisdom I prepared to depart onto my charges (you). It’s best to situate yourself (in whatever fashion is most comfortable) so I can—“

“(why is she whispering to herself in between sentences),” Dori turned and said to Charya.

“(i dont know but I think we should start doing it too),” she said back.

“(oh we are so fucking smart.)”

“(if you two don’t stop doing that im going to put you both in the corner,)” I said. “Not the same one of course. I’m not stupid.”

“Erna, I can’t believe you ruined it,” Charya said. She clicked her tongue as if she were admonishing me a la a strict teacher. “Raising your voice in these sacred halls? Did you forget your oath?”

My oath? What, no, of course not! Merely my fifth birthday passed before I promised, as any young person should, to dedicate my life to fighting against those who would threaten the lives of civilians. How could she possibly think I forgot?

Unless.

She made a joke. Ha. Funny.

I began rolling onto the floor in wild laughter, and died. The people mourned my death with a powerful, frantic funeral of dismay for my lost potential. They said she never even got to find her own concept to capture within the depths of her soul gem! Died too soon, circa…what year was it again? Six thousand something or other.

Of course, none of that actually happened, other than awkward silence overtaking the room and the new entrant now turning to—oh, pause for a moment.

“Wait!” I grabbed the new entrant’s wrist before she could fully flee, and it went slack in my hand as she turned back around.

“I don’t have the wrong room, do I? This isn’t like…some kinda comedy convention I walked into? Or a weird sad looking panel everyone forgot on the schedule?” Her face pulled into a grimace as she tried to wiggle out of my grip. “Like, sorry no one cares about you, I guess.”

“Absolutely not,” I said and led her back over to an open seat. “Let’s finish up these introductions already so I can go over why I’ve summoned you all. You’ve already shown up late, though I admit you’ve missed little of importance.”

“Errrr…’k,” she grumbled, and pulled her face into a smile, “The name’s Kelsey Lu. That all?”

“Great, good to meet you, we’re bonding already,” I said and clapped my hands together as I went back to my precious whiteboard. Back to business.

“It’s good to meet you, Ms. Lu,” Ale said, but I simply raised my voice to silence him. No time for that, too much justice to be enacted.

“RE-gardless!” I yelled and slapped a hand onto the white board. “I have called upon you all to lend me your inner strength towards a cause that will benefit the Lestaria Empire, and the safety of its citizens everywhere.”

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

“You never said if we were hired,” Dori said, “Feel like that may be the more important point here…?”

If I got paid for every time someone cut me off during an important speech, I’d possess enough fortune to purchase a mid-size company. “Yes,” I forced out with a sigh, and tapped my pointer finger against the white board. “Yes, hired. All of you. You all receive the benefits too, all of them, anything you reasonably want.”

Ale raised a hand. “Dental included?”

“Vision?” Charya added.

“Can you guys cover my car insurance while you’re at it,” Kelsey said.

“Yes to all of that,” I said. “Now let me finish!”

Everyone in the room stared at each other smiling, before looking back at me. Hm, finally! I can’t recall what jobs usually provide people, but whatever makes my precious citizens happy indeed.

“With order established, your mission—no, our mission will be bestowed,” I said. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a marker, drawing a simple star. “Now, how much do you all know about light?”

“Liiiight…liiiiike…” Dori began, and waved his hands in the air. “All of this?”

“Exactly,” I said. “Light, in its simplest state, is the element that is more often than not one of the dominating forces in our lives. Many associate it with knowledge and discovery, due to the illumination it brings even on the darkest and most obscured paths.”

“But!” I said and watched as Charya opened her mouth, snapping it back shut with a nonplussed expression.

“Another association is with divine justice. Fighting for what you believe is right. What we’re dealing with here is a murderous angel, targeting random civilization for unforeseen reasons.”

“Truly…an actual angel?” Ale asked.

“Someone presenting as one,” I said. “Angels are the myths of obscure religions, but that doesn’t mean their iconography can’t be repurposed. Especially when the culprit believes they’re enacting justice.”

Charya yawned, and Kelsey leaned forward to prop her elbows in her lap so she could rest her head in her hands. I could never be more thankful I had attentive and focused assistants, willing to do anything to stay awake for this important strategy—hm, was Dori nodding off? I needed to hurry before someone fell asleep. The price I paid to account for these shorter attention spans.

“We’re looking into a serial killer that’s masquerading as an angel using light magic,” I said and smacked a hand against the white board again. “I looked into two victim reports in advance. Connections are being drawn, but we need to look at more scenes, find a motive, and lure the killer out of hiding before another innocent victim’s life is claimed.”

“Guys,” Kelsey said and raised her hand. “The point. I found it.”

“Congratulations!” Charya clapped.

I wasn’t even pointing, these people. Rather than ponder their odd outbursts, I reached into my pocket and pulled out two pieces of paper, making my way over to and handing one to Ale while keeping one for myself.

“I already have two other crime scenes I need to look at, but I thought it would be better if we were to split up, cover what we can today, and meet here for an consolidating session before nightfall,” I said.

“That has the address of the other scene written upon it. An ally of mine will meet you both there to supervise. I have some theories, but I’d rather get a better picture before rushing to conclusions. This murder occurred two nights ago, while the one I shall be heading to happened last night. We hardly have much time, so let us get to it!”

“Jesus Christ,” Dori muttered and folded his hands together.

“Who?” Charya said. Dori looked to the side and didn’t reply.

Ale shoved the paper into his pocket. “Of course! I’ll take good care of it—I mean, not so good that I don’t even look at the paper since I need to know where I’m going. I’m not the type of person to go out with not even a map to guide me, though in some way aren’t we all charting our own…I.”

Ale closed, then opened his mouth again. “Ah, I can drive.”

“Excellent,” I said and gave him a firm shoulder pat. He dipped his head away from me, but I caught a glimpse of a wobbly smile. Whatever that meant. “You’ll take Dori with you. I’ll be taking Charya and Kelsey.”

“Nice, I got the…interesting guy…” Dori said and pushed himself out of his seat, stifling a yawn.

“I can hear your vague comments, but not whether you mean a bad interesting or a good one,” Ale said, frowning.

“I mean. Interesting’s interesting...?”

“Oh…”

“…Uh—sorry. Didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yippie!” Charya reached over to grab Kelsey’s hand, then skipped out of her seat and grabbed one of mine as well. “We’re the besties! The besties going to do some bestie murder investigations, like super cool—“

“What is a bestie?” I said.

Kelsey stared at me as Charya gasped.

“Oh my gooooods, it’s like I’m back in the Waxing Era,” Charya said. “Like, when’s the wheel coming out?”

“That was before the Waxing Era,” I said and gripped onto her hand tighter. “We need to get going. If we don’t have this taken care of soon, another victim will turn up, and then how could any of us live with ourselves?”

“I could,” Dori said. He got up and gestured for Ale to follow, who shuffled ahead of him and towards the door much faster than expected. Once they were gone, all I could do was hope their investigation became fruitful.

I, on the other hand, had my own burden to bear.

“I totally could too,” Charya piped up.

“I don’t think that’s the point,” Kelsey said. “I’m in favor of getting this corpse watching over with.”

“There will be no corpses there,” I said, directing them towards the door as well. “You’ll see.”