And now, how do I get out of this mess?

The hateful alarm rang, and I had barely slept. Naturally, I wasn’t feeling my best. I felt terrible both mentally and physically, and there was an important mission planned for today. Although, I feared it might not happen at all anymore.

I wonder, is Neight really mad? Maybe I overdid it a little yesterday and acted, to put it mildly, inappropriately... But he’s no better! Secretly dealing with all sorts of things, and now I’m the one at fault for accidentally noticing. Ridiculous!

Though I felt like he was just as guilty, I couldn’t deny that I had lashed out at him. I was terrified to look him in the eyes and see his cold, angry gaze. And just when I thought I was finally starting to understand him, even if just a little. But look how it turned out.

Maybe I shouldn’t have followed him at night... I scolded myself. But then again, how was I supposed to know he wasn’t up to something dangerous?

I remembered my accusations about trust. But maybe the problem was that I couldn’t trust him either?..

Still, there was one thing I felt most ashamed of.

Damn it, I really almost hit him... Raised my hand against a sick person... These thoughts made me want to sink through the floor. After that, he definitely won’t let me hold a weapon. I wouldn’t let myself if I were in his place.

It seemed I could lie there forever, wallowing in self-reproach, but I still had some sense of responsibility left. Breakfast wasn’t going to make itself, and I didn’t want to show Neight that I was completely unreliable. Reluctantly, I crawled out of my bunk, fighting the urge to just give up, and started getting ready.

I’ll have to apologize to him. Again...

----------------------------------------

When Neight, as usual, walked into the kitchen right on schedule, I involuntarily flinched but didn’t look in his direction. I was incredibly nervous, though I knew that sooner or later we’d have to cross paths.

"Good morning. I see you made breakfast."

His voice was calm and almost completely devoid of emotion, confirming my worst fears.

"Yeah, good morning," I replied just as coldly, despite my plans to be more friendly and try to smooth things over. It just came out that way. Reflexively. And that only made me angrier at myself.

I heard his footsteps as he went to sit at the table, and I finally looked at him. Surprisingly, he didn’t look too bad. Better than yesterday. His face wasn’t as pale, and the bags under his eyes were gone. And while his right arm was still immobilized, overall, he seemed much more energetic. Apparently, unlike me, he had gotten a good night’s sleep. Or was it the capsule? He clearly spent the night in the lab again...

What worried me, though, was his tense, unnatural smile. It was exactly like the one he had in the early days, right after I had first woken up here.

This is bad. He’s definitely holding a deep grudge against me.

"Enjoy your meal."

We started eating, but neither of us spoke. I glanced at him from time to time to gauge the situation and find the right moment, but I couldn’t bring myself to start. Neight didn’t look at me even once. It seemed like he didn’t want to talk. But things couldn’t go on like this…

"Neight, I…"

"About today's plans," he said sternly. "I think we need to reconsider them."

His words hit me like a bolt of lightning. I felt a pulse course through my entire body. Fear. The way he spoke, his tone, his intonation—it made it clear that the decision had already been made. And it wasn’t in my favor. Besides, he hadn’t even looked at me, which was another bad sign. I’d even call it terrible.

"But what about…"

"Let me finish."

He finally lifted his gaze to me, and I felt an incredible pressure. His face was devoid of any smile, and his furrowed brows gave him a severe look. It felt like the scales of control and power had tipped entirely back in his favor. A sense of dread made my breath catch. All I could do was listen in silence.

"Looking at your current condition, I don’t think you’re ready for the mission we discussed."

"But…"

"Please don’t interrupt. Maybe you're wondering what options we have left? Yes, we’re in a dire situation. Fortunately, I had time to think of an alternative plan."

Each new word hit me harder. Why did I have the feeling that I wouldn’t like his plan at all?

"The LSS is fully functional, and the ship has enough resources for temporary hibernation…"

"No…" I managed to choke out with trembling lips, completely shocked by what I’d just heard. My whole body started shaking from the overwhelming sense of indescribable terror. I was ready to fall to my knees and beg him not to go through with this plan.

Anything but that. Please…

I was terrified. Images of the cryo-capsule and people in white lab coats flashed before my eyes. I pictured the hiss of the gas filling the chamber, surrounding me, clouding my mind, and slowly submerging me into an endless, boundless, impenetrable darkness. The thought that this darkness could stay with me forever, that I might never wake up again, consumed my mind.

"I understand you don’t like it, but we have no other options."

Neight was unyielding. I had been right to think he’d already made up his mind. And now, as he was feeling better and I was weakened from two almost sleepless nights and still suffering from pain, I no longer had the strength to oppose him.

What if he never intended to stick to my plan in the first place?

Dark thoughts crept in—what if the only reason he’d agreed with me was to buy time? Now that he was back on his feet, I wouldn’t be surprised if he took away my access to the main control panels. The time when the advantage had been on my side was gone. I had been completely outplayed.

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

Checkmate, Emma…

But I wasn’t ready to give up just yet. No matter what, I had to find a way out of this. I couldn’t let him put me to sleep. No, I couldn’t allow it.

"Neight, give me a chance! Please! If you're mad at me because of what happened last night, then I..."

"It’s not about that," he said firmly. "As I’ve already said, you're not ready, neither mentally nor physically. If only you could see yourself. Pale, exhausted, and worn out. Sometimes it seems like you're barely standing and could collapse at any moment. Even I have a better chance of success, and I can’t even hold a weapon right now."

He was scolding me like a parent reprimands a disobedient child. His words were unyielding, no matter how much I tried to appeal to his sympathy.

"You didn't think this was going to be a walk in the park, did you? No, even just taking a water sample is only the first and easiest step. If it turns out that the water is drinkable—which, by the way, isn’t guaranteed—then we’ll need to gather it in large quantities. That means hauling water containers, and we’ll be lucky if the rain lasts long enough to fill them. Otherwise, we’ll have to search for places where the water has pooled and collect it by hand. Oh, and by the way, all this has to be done by the end of the current full day, because if not, we won’t even be able to go into hibernation later. No, there are already too many risk factors. And I’m not willing to gamble with our lives."

As I listened to his reasoning, the taste of defeat grew stronger. Hope became more and more elusive with each word he spoke. But the saddest and most frustrating part was that what he said made sense. I was already starting to lose faith in myself and was almost ready to give up, but a voice inside me said:

No, Emma, don’t you dare give up! You have to fight until the end! Otherwise, who knows, will you ever wake up again? Will you ever see your parents, your friends, again?

"You're right..." I began, catching my breath and gathering my thoughts. "As always, you're absolutely right. But please, at least let me take a water sample. Even if nothing works out now, this knowledge will come in handy later."

As I said this, I was mostly grasping at straws. After all, if I succeeded, if it worked out, I might be able to persuade Neight. At the very least, I could buy time and maybe think of something. I looked into his eyes, trying to show him just how serious I was.

Come on, agree. It costs nothing. Even in my pitiful state, I can handle it, and you know it.

"I'm sorry, but I don’t see the point in wasting time and energy on this," he replied, but I could hear his voice soften a little. Maybe my desperate attempts to delay the inevitable had sparked a bit of pity in him. "Besides, knowing you, I’m afraid you might act impulsively, stray from the plan. That could lead to irreversible consequences, and I wouldn’t be able to help you."

This is the end...

Despair washed over me. I understood that convincing him was practically impossible. But there was still one plan left in my head. A plan I didn’t even like. One that, under other circumstances, I would never agree to. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I tried my best to hold them back. Because if I cried, it would be an absolute failure and his undeniable victory.

"Yes... And once again, you’re right... But can I ask just one question?" I whispered, almost submissively.

At that moment, his stern look softened, becoming more sympathetic. He nodded in approval.

"If... If right now I weren’t so weak... If my condition allowed it, would you agree to my plan?"

I froze, waiting for his answer, too scared to move. Time seemed to either stop or flow so slowly that its passage couldn’t be perceived. The air was heavy with silence. I noticed the astonishment on Neight’s face—he clearly hadn’t expected that question.

Why are you silent?

I thought anxiously. His silence was worse than any words. It tormented me, tearing me apart.

If you refuse to answer now, it means you never intended to listen to me. It means you never took my plan seriously in the first place; you just used this opportunity to recover and then regain full control and power.

But if… If you say you were truly sincere when you agreed with me, that you genuinely planned to follow my idea, and only decided to change course because of the current circumstances, then… then I’ll still have hope. A tiny hope, but it will remain.

Finally, he let out a weary sigh, squinting in dissatisfaction as if realizing that his answer would determine a great deal. From his expression, I could almost imagine what he was thinking at that moment.

Why is it so hard with you? No, not even that. Why do you stubbornly persist in these desperate, yet pointless attempts? Why don’t you just give up?

"Yes," he finally forced out. "Yes, it’s possible your plan might have worked."

There it is! A glimmer of hope! Not all is lost. There's still a chance.

Deep inside, I was already celebrating this small victory, though it was only a tiny, minuscule step that could potentially lead to salvation. And Neight, it seemed, noticed my internal triumph, which is why he added:

"But we could discuss at length what might have happened under different circumstances. Unfortunately, it doesn’t change what we’re facing right now. The fact is, neither of us is in a condition to handle this mission."

I knew he would say something like that. It was predictable, so, in a way, I was ready for it.

"Right, that's true. But tell me, if I..."

Oh God! I can't believe I’m saying this! In any other situation, I would never suggest it, but there’s just no choice left...

"If I use the capsule and the LSS, will I be able to recover at least a little by the end of this half of the day?"

Saying that felt particularly difficult, as though someone was forcing me to speak against my will. And yet I did it. I offered to get into that damn capsule myself, even though I would’ve had to do it anyway under Neight’s plan, which I didn’t like at all.

In the meantime, Neight looked at me with slight disbelief. But I was 100% sure he already understood where I was leading. He furrowed his brow again and thought for a moment.

"You know, it’s quite possible. Most likely, you could recover fairly well faster since your condition overall isn't that critical. A good rest and therapy could get you back on your feet rather quickly..."

At that moment, Neight abruptly stopped, as if realizing that he was beginning to seriously consider this scenario, and so he switched to a more serious and strict tone.

"But that doesn't cancel out the other risks I mentioned to you. My plan is more reliable, and so..."

"Neight, please!" I interrupted him, jumping up from the table and leaning on it with both hands. I looked straight into Neight’s eyes, trying to remain firm and confident to convince him. "Let’s try it, okay? We could benefit from this. First of all, I’ll be able to recover and feel better..."

"You'll recover while you're in hibernation anyway..." he objected, but I wasn’t about to stop, pretending not to hear.

"Secondly, as I’ve already said, we can check the composition of the rainwater now while we have a good opportunity. Who knows what will happen when we wake up? And if it turns out the water isn’t drinkable or some other risk comes up, we’ll go with your plan. So, what do you say?"

I continued to stare at him intently and noticed doubt in his eyes. That was already a good sign. It meant he hadn’t immediately rejected my proposal.

Please, just agree. I’m even ready to voluntarily get into that damn capsule. You literally just said you’d consider my plan if I were feeling better, so what's the problem? You’re not backing out now, are you? Believe in me!

Finally, Neight let out a heavy sigh, and I already knew what that meant—it was my victory, and I rejoiced inside.

"Alright. You win."

Yes!

"But I have conditions," he said seriously. "You will strictly follow the plan, which we will, of course, discuss in detail before you head out. No. Any. Deviations. And if at any moment we realize something is going wrong, we’ll immediately switch to my more reliable plan."

"Agreed!" I exclaimed without hesitation or second thoughts. There was no way I could let this chance slip away.

Nevertheless, it was clear that Neight was displeased. Perhaps he only agreed because I had cornered him? He couldn't refuse without going back on his word, which clearly didn’t align with his principles. At least, that’s how it seemed to me.

"Fine. In that case, you’d better hurry. If you don’t manage to recover by lunch, the plan is off," he stated firmly, putting an end to the discussion.

And just like that, my burst of positivity quickly faded as I realized what I had just signed up for.