Sidney blinked. Then she smiled, amused.

"Are you wearing fangs?" she said.

Then, slowly, her eyes narrowed and she lost the amused look. She leaned forward and stared at my canines, and then she did something dumb. She stuck her finger in my mouth and poked one.

Hot pain shot into my teeth, and I nipped at the finger before I could stop myself. My teeth broke her skin, and I got just a hint of that magical blood before she yanked her hand away and slapped me. Hard. The pain shocked me, and I hurled myself across the middle console and pressed her into the driver's-side door. Her eyes got huge.

Her eyes got huge [https://img.wattpad.com/23f40c358a8e9575ac6796c9bb5c511ba9ca64b1/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f424a6f4a36734138465a487a6b673d3d2d313335393830303332302e313736663439343762336261636463383138313530313435323437342e706e67?s=fit&w=1280&h=1280]

"Nate?" she said. She was breathing hard. Her blood was still on my tongue. I needed more. But a tiny part of my brain was begging me to stop. To get away, before I did to Sidney what I'd done to Emily. And I wasn't too far gone yet to save us both.

I threw open the passenger door and bolted for the house.

Once inside, I locked the door and leaned against it, gasping. I sank to the floor and put my head in my hands.

I had to be stopped. I couldn't wait for the police to do it. I'd told Parva it would be better to die than to kill. Could I follow through with that? Did I have the self-control to hold out, or the courage to end my own life before I got that far? I didn't think so.

There were footsteps on the front walk. Oh, god, no. Sidney. She stepped onto the porch and knocked on the door. No.

"Nate," she said.

"Sidney, help me."

"I'm going to, but you have to open the door."

"I can't," I said, but I was already reaching behind myself and turning the lock. I rolled over onto my knees and opened the door a crack, and then I scuttled back from the door and huddled in a corner. Her scent wafted through the door and gripped me by the throat. I wasn't going to make it.

She stepped inside and stood in the doorway, framed in blinding afternoon sunlight.

"There's a gun," I forced out. "In my mom's closet."

She shut the door and frowned. "A gun?"

"Hurry, okay? I can't hold out much longer, and I don't want to---" I choked. Oh, god, please let her have the sense to hide my body from my mother. "Hurry!"

She got to her knees in front of me. I couldn't back any farther away. I was so close. So close to tearing into her neck and getting what I needed. Fighting was so hard. My body was on fire.

"I'm not going to shoot you," she said.

"You have to."

"I do not. I'm not going to keep you from murdering people by turning into a murderer myself."

"Sid---"

"What do you need, Nate? There's got to be some way to help you that doesn't result in a chalk outline."

My eyes went automatically to the wound on her finger. Two tiny scratches where blood pooled. I could smell it, taste it. She held her finger up in mild surprise.

She held her finger up in mild surprise [https://img.wattpad.com/600626eaf98d8702b5abec5bf2bf8df110e0971f/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f6158576865494279314c4b6d68513d3d2d313335393830303332302e313736663439346662306233326635323434333732373735383530382e706e67?s=fit&w=1280&h=1280]

"This?"

I shook my head.

"You can have a little of this if that's all it is."

I clamped down on my teeth and shook my head again. She didn't understand. I didn't think I could just take a little. Once I got started, I didn't know how to stop.

"Don't be stubborn," she said. "It's just blood. I've had blood drawn before. What do I care how you get it?" She held her finger up right in front of my face, and I sucked air in through my teeth.

"What if I can't stop?" I said.

"You'll stop."

"I didn't stop with Emily."

"Emily's a wimp. I'm not. You don't stop, I go for the balls."

Emily wasn't a wimp, she'd been influenced not to fight. But I didn't correct Sid. I knew there wasn't really any choice. The choice was to accept her offer now, when I still had some semblance of control left, or to wait and attack someone later. It was all wrong but I was out of options.

I was supposed to be fighting but I'd forgotten how.

Blood beaded on her finger, threatening to fall. I grabbed her hand and darted in to catch the blood before it could drip onto the carpet. The wounds were superficial, so even sucking only tormented me with what I wasn't getting. But I could feel her pulse with my fingers. I twisted her arm so I could see her wrist. Those veins. I had to get into them. The best food, the best high was in those veins.

The ones I could see were too small to put my teeth into. I pushed her sleeve up and traced one back with a finger, following the winding path from her wrist to the inside of her elbow. Below where these spidery blue veins forked would be a bigger vein. I couldn't see it, but I trusted my instincts. I put my lips against her skin and felt her pulse with my tongue. And then I bit.

Stolen novel; please report.

She gasped, but she didn't scream. That was good.

My mouth filled with blood. But slowly. Not like with Emily. I had to suck to draw it out. So I bit Sid again, higher on the vein. I liked biting. I liked the pressure of flesh resisting my teeth. I like the way it teased, yielded, and then finally broke with a rush of hot blood.

My mind clouded as I drank, but the fog was joy and comfort and pleasure. After a while, Sidney whispered for me to stop. I ignored her. But when she said it again, more loudly, I could feel my consciousness drawn back to the present. Stop. I couldn't drink her until she was empty. I had to stop.

I pulled back from her arm and licked my lips. Who knew? Who knew that Porter's sister was so nice? She didn't fight at all. She brought her blood to me.

I smiled at her. She drew back at the look on my face.

"Like that, did you?" she said.

I couldn't answer. She had no idea how good it felt to have her blood in me, and I wasn't sure I wanted her to find out. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and tried to control my face. Sid studied the purple bruising on the inside of her elbow. It looked pretty nasty. I doubted I was supposed to be making such a mess of it, but it's not like I knew what I was doing.

"So that's what you did to Emily," she said.

"No. She didn't offer. I just took it."

"But there are holes here. I didn't hear anything about holes on Emily." She cocked an eyebrow at me. "I wasn't prepared for quite so much biting."

"Only twice."

She snorted and pointed to her wound. "Try five times."

She was right. Among the bruises were ten tiny holes that had already scabbed over. I cringed. How could I explain? When it came to blood, I didn't know what to expect from myself any more than she did. I was learning everything as I went, and so far none of it made much sense.

I got to my feet and held out a hand to help her up. She stood up, too, wobbling a little. Then I helped her to the couch and sat down beside her. I liked how it felt to have her close to me. There was just something about these moments after eating. I was grateful and happy and---well, I kind of wanted to curl up in her lap and go to sleep.

"It's true," she said.

"What is?"

"You're a vampire. I saw those teeth and I thought you were messing with me, but then I started to think I was hallucinating. Then I touched one, and . . ."

"I bit you."

"Yeah. But you're not a monster. You're more like a kitten. Pokey and stupid."

I breathed in the scent of her. She was muskier than Emily, but also softer. More natural, because she didn't wear so much perfume and stuff.

"A kitten didn't kill Emily," I said.

"You didn't kill her, either."

"Yes, I did. The way I left her, she would have died." I shuddered. The high was slipping away as easily as it had come. "The only reason she didn't die is because Brick found her."

Sid was quiet for a moment. Then she said, "How many others?"

"Other whats?"

"Victims. Like Emily."

"None," I said. "Emily was the first. You're the second. Some Girl Scout or Jehovah's Witness will be third. And then Emily will wake up and tell the police what I did, and I'll be in a jail cell killing drunk drivers and hookers until they put a bullet in my brain. End of story."

I was rambling, and I'm sure it made little sense to Sid. She needed context, so I told her about Parva, and about waking up as a vampire. It all came out in this great cathartic deluge.

"Killing me is the only way to make this go away. That's basically what I said to Parva. You have to be strong enough to solve the problem yourself." I glanced at Sid. "But I'm a weenie, right?"

"No."

"And you know what the worst part is? There's no one I can ask to help me with this. Where's the friend who's supposed to pull the trigger for me? Someone who cares about my soul enough to get some blood on their hands? If I wasn't writing Porter's story for him he wouldn't care about me one way or the other."

She pulled her legs up under her on the couch. "I've never heard you talk like this. You're usually so quiet and polite."

I shrugged. She was right, I guess.

"I don't think it has to be that way," Sid said. "I gave you some blood, right? And it didn't kill me."

"I still don't know why you did it."

"I know, I'm supposed to be horrified to let you come near me. But I'm not. Maybe it's because I've seen you in your Ninja Turtle boxer shorts, but the point is, you didn't lose control."

"I came so close."

"Because you waited too long. Don't do that next time."

"So, what, I'm supposed to keep drinking your blood forever?"

There was a warning in her eyes. "Once was enough to satisfy my curiosity, thanks. But there are crazier kids at school than me. People who might not mind helping you out if it meant they got to be in on your secret. Validation is a powerful motivation."

"Think they have any people like that in prison?"

"Maybe Emily won't tell." Sid thought about this and her nose wrinkled. "No, she'll tell. She's a bitch."

"Telling on me wouldn't make her a bitch, Sidney. It would make her right."

"Guess so." She stood up and straightened herself. She swayed a little on her feet. "Anyway, I have to go."

"You're going home already?"

"Yeah, I've got plans. Going to the last night of the convention with Garrett and I still have to finish my costume." She wiggled her eyebrows. "I'm trying to see if I can make his eyeballs fall out of his head with vinyl and plastic netting."

Garrett Tyler was Sid's on-again, off-again boyfriend and a total thug. He vaped and cursed too much and that was at school. I had no desire to see what vices he entertained on his own time. I said:

"I didn't know Garrett was a geek."

"He's gonna be one tonight."

"Are you sure you can drive?"

"I'll be fine."

I didn't like it, but it's not like I could control her. I said, "Just be careful, okay? If something happens to you on the way home, I'm gonna---"

"Yeah, I know, you'll blame yourself. That's your problem." She opened the door and steadied herself in the frame. "Look, I bet you're not as alone as you think you are. You have to know one person besides me that wouldn't mind helping you out. Just think about it."

"Sid---"

She kissed two of her fingers and pressed them to my cheek. "See you, Nate. Good luck." Then she left, picking her way carefully to the car.

Good luck. Good-bye, she meant. You're on your own, pal.

Hope you don't murder anybody.

* * *

I was exhausted. When was the last time I'd slept, anyway? Aside from that hour or two this morning, I hadn't slept at all since Parva had changed me. And that wasn't so much a nap as it was clinical death.

I went up to my room and closed my curtains. Then I pulled off my t-shirt and draped it over my face as I lay down on my bed. It helped filter out some of the light but did nothing to block the noise from outside. I tried to imagine going to school tomorrow where thousands of voices would crush me, the lights and patterns and smells all culminating in an insanity-inducing sensory overload. How would I survive it?

And sleeping? How was I going to do that? In my closet, with a towel stuffed under the door? I wanted to laugh at the thought, but the more I thought about it, the more a lot of things started to make sense. Solid wood and thick padding. A lid that closed and kept light out, even during the day. A sensory-deprivation tank. I could see myself getting behind something like that, especially after a couple more sleepless nights.

I could see myself sleeping in a coffin.

Eventually, I was able to fall asleep. I dreamed about Emily. The dreams were hot and translucent red. The smell of her skin. The taste of her blood. Her fingers digging into my chest. Hair pooling on the floor around her. Then I dreamed of the paramedics putting her into the ambulance and taking her away from me. Why did they do that? Didn't they know how much I needed her? How much she needed me?

Why did I stand by and watch it?

I woke up sweating and grasping at my pillows. The sun had gone down and the house was chilly, but my sheets were soaking wet.

What had woken me up? I lay there quietly for a moment, listening. A car door closed two houses down. Then another one. Then I heard the voice that sent sweet, icy shivers down my spine.

"It's okay, Daddy. I can do it."

Emily.