The boy’s instincts were screaming at him to stay awake, to listen to Nexus as the artificial intelligence continued to criticise him. Deep down, the boy had the feeling that if he allowed himself to slip into the dark maw in his subconscious, something would irrevocably change in his values and mindset. Nexus’ words, as they were now, were preventing that from happening by drawing out his shame, but the rest was up to him himself.
He could now clearly sense another entity within him, egging him on and prodding him to continue down a path of slaughter. But it wasn’t a desirable path for him. Not by a long shot. Now that he was in this state, he could sense another influence in his psyche — but he didn’t know when it had appeared. He didn’t have time to ponder on such a meaningless question, however.
Guided by his instincts, the boy began to relive his memories on Orb, hitting himself with the moments when he ended someone’s life. Willing these memories to be unclouded of emotions and adrenaline, he attempted to reclaim the innate apprehension towards the act of taking a life.
He hit himself with every memory he had, trying to take in the words that Nexus were saying to him at the same time.
The boy didn’t want to be a simple murder machine, driven by an urge to see blood blossom. But if the artificial intelligence hadn’t noticed this subtle change within the boy, such a personality change may have been irreversible…and fatal to the Gaius right now. What would emerge was a machine of slaughter and death, not a person.
But for all his efforts, the whispers continued, unabated.
“Listen to me, fool,” said one of them. “You know you can end this war alone. Embrace your true self, and kill the children of the South. You did it before anyway!”
“Yesss. He’s right. Be the shadow you were meant to be,” said another. “Do unto them as they did to you and yours! Killing is the best way to grow! The path of killing is the fastest!”
“This is the best way to get to that damn Demigod Nox. You’re too weak. He’ll kill you with a single finger snap.” A shrouded figure appeared in front of him, but before the boy could do anything, streams of prismatic light had drowned out his vision, and Gaius couldn’t help but flinch. “Your path is the right one. Don’t turn from it!”
“I…” The boy couldn’t help but think back towards the times he ended lives. Did I grow stronger from killing alone? This…is this the best way? I’m…not wrong? I can continue down like this?
The boy felt the pull from the dark maw, somewhere in the mental landscape of his subconsciousness, intensify. For a moment, he felt that it was right to let it take him, that only by listening to it could he gain strength. An imaginary arm reached out to him, and Gaius instinctively understood that he just needed to grab it.
And things would change. The Demigod Nox would fall before him, and everything would be right again. Gaius’ own arm trembled, and some part of him — the true him, perhaps, hidden in the depths of his mind — could only view this change with alarm and nothing else.
A voice, that of a little girl, cried out his name, and suddenly, the pull was gone. The spell had been abruptly broken, leaving only a monstrous roar echoing inside his head. In that moment of silence, the boy called up one last memory, and immersed himself in it.
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Shadows receded from his vision as Gaius finally felt revulsion well up from inside him. The landscape of darkness shattered to reveal the wooden interiors of the Library, and the boy was suddenly very aware of a wooden floor underneath him, all wet and nasty.
He continued to lie on the ground, shivering and trembling for an untold period of time, before he finally got up from his prone position gingerly. To his side, Nexus was staring at him, clearly concerned for his well-being.
The last whisper had been particularly realistic, and it had taken everything Gaius had to resist its call. He could now taste a metallic sweetness in his mouth, an absolute fatigue throughout his body…and an utter certainty that his mind was his own.
“Master Gaius…” The artificial intelligence whispered. “Are you…?”
“Feels like a bunch of horses trampling over me, but I’ll live,” said Gaius. He looked around at the Library of Ancients, his eyes misted over with unused tears, and sighed slowly. “Did you know? There’s something wrong with Orb, specifically with the act of killing other people. A compulsion to resort to killing, to solve your problems by killing if that’s possible.”
The boy’s breath was ragged, as he continued to speak, forcing out his words like his life depended on it. “There’s more to this too. There’s another… another existence in this world. I felt it just now. A being who promises power to those without sympathy. It resides in the subconscious mind. Perhaps, everybody’s subconscious. It claimed that the act of killing grants one power, and that only by killing as much as possible could I rival the Demigod Nox.”
Gaius swayed lightly as he forced out these words, and he slumped onto a chair. His body continued to twitch slightly, and blood continued to dribble out of his mouth. Something like thunder rumbled across Heritage, and the boy couldn’t help but tremble.
“This might explain the unusually high degrees of aggression in Orb,” Nexus said quietly. “I’ve been puzzled by wars that abruptly occur in long periods of peace, as well as the sudden outbreak of war between the Five Lands in recent years.”
“War begets war,” Gaius said, his voice heavy and tired. “Death begets death. A self-fulfilling cycle that drives people aggressive and belligerent.”
The boy couldn’t help but think back to his time in Heritage, at Ark City. The beastfolk soldiers who had defended against the Second Extermination…where were they now? Were they all now devoid of sympathy and mercy? Machines of death and war, like the human forces who took part in the Second Extermination?
The boy didn’t know what to think. Gaius couldn’t confirm the existence of such a compulsion. Perhaps it affected people like him, someone from another world. Maybe it didn’t. There were too many factors to consider, but at least he now knew about its existence.
And the existence behind this compulsion, whatever it may be. It was a being that stood on opposite ends to Gaius, one that most likely revelled in full scale slaughter and murder. Now that the boy was once again aware of himself, Gaius couldn’t help but tremble slightly at the being who had nearly twisted his values and norms.
He took a deep breath. “Thank you, Nexus.”
The artificial intelligence nodded its wooden head. “You had seemed somewhat different after you woke up. I was beginning to get worried too.”
“Thank you. If you weren’t there…things might have gone south. For now, I’ll kill those that I need to, and nothing else,” said Gaius. “I think that’s the most suitable path for me right now. If they’re not my enemy, and if I can’t find a good reason to kill them, I won’t.”
“That’s the core of an assassin, isn’t it?” said Nexus. “Killing for something, not for nothing.”
‘Yes.” The boy’s hand trembled. “I’m not a butcher. Power must have a purpose. Killing too must have a purpose. To forgo them both isn’t what an assassin should do. I can’t believe… that I forgot the principles I used to preach.”
Gaius froze. “…the principles I used to preach?”
His vision warped as these words echoed in his mind, and the world around him changed.