Fear.

Anxiety.

Those were my first emotions. Despite being seconds old, I was conscious. I was like an adult trapped in a baby's body. However, I was as clueless as one. I knew nothing, not even the overwhelming feelings that wanted to override everything I was.

Then, another emotion came to me, stronger than even than the others. Sadness. Unfortunately, I had little control over my body, unable to resist the drowsiness.

That was my first memory of the world of myself. Despite the passing of over 20 years, I could remember it vividly, like it was practically yesterday. Every other memory, even those hours later, felt dull in comparison.

The emotions that wanted to warp my very being, were gone. I had no idea whether they successfully did anything.

In spite of everything, I lived my life in earnest. I studied all the subjects I had access to and trained my body nearly every day.

Notably, I realized the people around me weren't the same as me. Other humans, firstly, didn't recall their very birth.

That, honestly, didn't matter much to me. After all, I didn't want to live this way. Sure, being knowledgeable was a great boon. Always being in shape was surely good for my health as well.

The only issue in life was the inability to live freely. I didn't strive for a life of wealth or power. I just wanted to... live. Live for myself, and honestly, I didn't even know what I wanted, from the bottom of my heart.

Maybe... I just wanted a chance to live, not for her, but for me.

Azaleah Raven. 

She controlled everything I did. She monitored everything I did, like I would leave this place, at any moment.

Truthfully, I have, although it never turned out well...

Alexander Cromwell. That was my name.

Alexander sighed. He stared at himself, recalling the many times people called him handsome, even by Azaleah.

The person that stared back had black hair and red eyes, notably, their pale white skin, unlike the usual sickly look, seemed awfully well on him.

'At least she knows how much of an eye candy I am.' Alexander smiled. Human interaction besides the maids in the Raven Family's mansion isn't much, if anything, there's none.

Alexander had often overheard of maids of important guests coming and leaving, although, he was never allowed near the areas where they entered, despite Sebastian's constant monitoring.

Azaleah and my personal butler, Sebastian never really hid their involvement in keeping him here, in this stranded place in the world.

"Mister Cromwell,"

He heard three resounding knocks shortly after.

*Knock*

"The mistress has called you, immediately." She bowed.

Alexander gave her a good look, to which she didn't seem to be affected by. She had lustrous brown hair and had beautiful porcelain skin.

Most importantly, he had lived here for 20 years, stuck. Yet, he had no recollection of this maid.

The way she carried herself, he doubted she was a new maid, although he had no care for what Azaleah had planned for him.

After all, she hasn't done anything to harm me intentionally.

"Take me there, please." Alexander spoke, little to no care in my voice.

"Of course, Mister Cromwell."

---

"Miss Azaleah, I have brought him." Rebecca bowed; however, something was different. He could tell just from her voice.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

*Knock* She knocked thrice.

After conversing with her for a bit during our walk, he had come to know her name as Rebecca, and throughout it all, her voice never shook.

'She's scared?' He could understand her, to a certain extent. Sure, she was crazy. Monitoring me wasn't exactly the sanest thing someone could do, moreover, restricting my freedom was something he hated her for.

Alexander often asked himself why he was alive. He questioned God.

'Was there really a need for me to be born?' He would never know.

The door swung open, by his attire, one could guess he was a butler. Alexander immediately recognized him as Oliver.

He nodded at him, signaling for him to enter. Not even a second after Alexander entered, however, he left as he closed the brown door on his way out.

He gulped. He'd been invited to this room many times, but never once has Oliver left prior to anything.

Azaleah didn't spare him a glance, nor a word. She continued to stare outside the windows adorning the left wall.

She had beautiful strands of green hair, and her eyes were like emeralds. Perhaps, even more beautiful than them. Sadly, he couldn't compare them well since my eyes have never laid themselves upon an emerald. 

As he tried to speak, she signaled to Alexander with her hand, inviting him next to her. The saliva in my mouth seemed to turn dry.

'Fucking hell, she always gives me the creeps.'

He didn't hesitate, though, as he went to stand with her. She took the initiative to speak.

"How are you?" She smiled at him. She always did.

Instinctively, he felt like swallowing again. But he didn't.

"Great. Better than ever, honestly." He answered.

She strayed her eyes off the beautiful forest under her. 

The mansion was somewhere elevated, above a forest. Alexander escaped the mansion and ran into the woods, a couple times even.

Although he never made it far. How they always found and caught him, was astounding.

"I'm glad to hear, Alex." She took my hand with a smile. Alexander could never see if she meant it. Her body language did, she always smiled, but her eyes seemed as stale as ever.

She... didn't feel alive to him. But that didn't feel right either. Her eyes were soulless, but even then, they were beautiful.

She seemed happy to see him, yet her eyes told another story. She felt... sad. He could tell, with greater affirmation today.

'She's sad...?' Azaleah was a mystery to me, although she outwardly felt like an open book. If anything, he wished he couldn't tell how much burden her eyes seemed to carry.

However, at the same time, he had no intent to help her. For whatever reason, freedom was always, from birth, not an option for him.

She practically dragged him, revealing a secret compartment behind a specific bookshelf, with a code he couldn't understand.

Her hands pulled on specific books, each time, different. The code, from when she first showed him, wasn't even remotely the same.

Shockingly, it was just a simple room, behind all the mystique the tunnel in between brought.

This room was grand, however. Every item seemed to be golden, and he could only imagine the worth of this spacious chamber.

Without any need to be told, he stripped, down to my shorts, where he sat in the middle.

Every year, he was forced to do this, although he didn't care to resist after the first few times.

He sat there for almost five minutes, ready to stand, as always, nothing happened.

'What is even supposed to happen?' Alexander thought, annoyed by whatever she wanted to do with him.

'She probably just needed an excuse to look at my bare body.' He shivered at the thought, although it was quite ridiculous.

Halfway through standing, as my hands moved to support myself up, an intense heat came from the stomach of my body.

After a few seconds of pain, he realized it was just slightly above that area, specifically, the center of my body.

"Argh..." He groaned, as my body seemed to heat up more than ever.

'Fuck what's happening.' Alexander felt a rejuvenating, warm feeling throughout my body, and although, the pain completely eclipsed that.

Alexander, turning his head noticed the grin on Azaleah's face. However, he froze shortly after.

Her eyes...

He could tell. For whatever reason, his suffering was bringing her happiness. Perhaps, the result of whatever was happening in his body.

Writhing in pain, to the point where he couldn't even let out a word, he clenched his jaw, causing him more pain.

He didn't care though, as the heat coursing through his body was reaching inhumane levels.

Sweat started to drip from his body, faster and faster. His heart started beating at great speeds, to the point that it was the only thing his eardrums could hear.

'Am I dying?' Was he being cooked from the inside, while this sadistic woman did nothing to help him?

Was this her plan all along? But why? He quite literally did nothing to oppose her, besides attempting to leave her grasp.

However, if that was her goal, why was it only working now? All the other times he simply sat; unaffected.

After nearly ten minutes in aggravating pain, it slowly resided. After another minute, he collected his breath, asking quickly.

"What the fuck was that?"

Azaleah's smile seemed to turn sad, at this point, however.

She seemed to have realized something, and magically, conjured a perfect, pristine white sword in her hand.

'What?' That was the only thing that he could ask himself mentally before being stabbed.

'How did she...' The previous anguish somehow felt like a miniscule cut in comparison to what he was feeling now.

There was no way a stab could incur so much pain. It felt like, along with his body, his soul was being sliced apart as well.

Eerily enough, he recalled feeling something similar...

Yes... just when he was born, he felt this inexplicable loss, like he had forgotten something.

Alexander had many questions; however, he stared hatefully at the person holding the pristine white sword.

'Why?' The question he felt most intense, and without having to say anything, Azaleah spoke.

"Forgive me, Azlan, but remember that only light can drive out darkness," Her emerald-like eyes seemed to burn brighter than ever before, dangerously so, as she said those words.

"I love you, Azlan."

Instinctively, I knew... I was about to die. But... who the fuck is Azlan?!