Kana POV:
I pulled the sheathed katana closer to my chest as I sat cross-legged in the middle of the tatami mat. I clenched my teeth, unable to concentrate on my meditation while the memories of that day floated back into my mind.
My body, half stripped and exposed, humiliated beyond comprehension and then shoved into... His disciple’s face. The disgrace ate away at me every night, reminding me of just how low I had fallen, reminding me of my inability to do anything.
‘To be treated like that by a mere monster...’
I bit my lip hard enough to puncture the soft folds of flesh, causing drops of blood to run down my chin. My bloodshot eyes flashed open while my eyebrows furrowed deep enough to form valleys between one another. My hands trembled with pure rage; it was simply unforgivable.
I had avoided my grandmother to the best of my ability once I returned home. How could I dare show my face in front of her after such a shameful experience? It was made much worse when I recalled that interrogator’s words.
“Lady Kana, it would be in both our best interests to keep what happened in that dungeon a secret. It’s a rather delicate situation that may be bad for the Hojo Clan if word got out.”
He stared at me with those black soulless eyes while I noticed a slight smirk form on his lips. I had no choice but to grit my teeth and take it on the chin, just like everything else in my life.
“Watch your mouth, Donovan.”
“I apologize, Lady Kana.”
He bowed his head deeply, and I rose from the desk. I couldn’t let anyone know of the defeat I suffered in that dungeon and he knew that too, yet he’d dare mock me in front of my face?!
No one...
No one respected me truly... I was a disappointment and a failure, but I had no choice but to continue on. As a result, everything just got worse and worse...
“Master Kana, a guest has arrived.”
My descent into the darkness was cut short by the sound of one of the Hojo Clan’s housemaids calling out to me. Based on her voice, it was Yuriko: the maid who had been with me since the day I was born.
“Send them away.”
I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. Once enough time had passed, I’d be able to make an appearance again.
“I cannot. The guest is Master Zane.”
My eyes widened as beads of cold sweat ran down my neck. I shot to my feet and raised my voice at Yuriko.
“Refuse him. Tell him I don’t want to see him.”
“Kana...”
“Do it!”
My messy hair clung to the sweat on my forehead as my breathing became erratic. No matter what, I couldn’t let Zane see me like this. I looked ugly, weak, and pathetic. I just...
Wanted to be left alone.
‘!’
I saw the shadows move, converging in the middle of the small room. I watched Zane step out of them; his feet lightly dropping to the floor as I stumbled backwards.
“Kana, it’s nice to finally see you again.”
My gaze shifted to the floor. I couldn’t make eye contact with him. I gripped my arm tight, wanting him to leave just as quick as he had come.
“...Why are you here?”
“The time has come for you to break through your situation.”
I stared at the matted floor hard enough to burn holes through it. Zane had constantly asked to see me ever since I fell behind all those years ago, but I always refused him. I knew he wanted to help me... But I couldn’t accept it.
I hated that Zane had now seen me in this lowly state. Even though we were always compared to one another while growing up, I held no animosity towards him.
I loved him.
It wasn’t romantic love, but just pure admiration and respect for taking on those expectations, shattering them and even obtaining an epithet just like my grandmother.
To me, he was amazing. I wanted to train with him just like when we were children. I wanted to spend time with him again, but my pride...
Wouldn’t allow it.
I was scared that he would look at me differently, that he would no longer see me as someone worthy enough to be relied on, and as the gap between us grew, I sank deeper into the darkness of my own mind.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
I tried harder and harder, but the barrier only became thicker and thicker. It taunted me daily, reminding me of how much of a disappointment I was to the Hojo Clan. My family treated me just the same, but I knew... I could see it in their eyes that they had given up on me!
My grandmother had passed down the family heirloom to me, weakening her own position because she saw the potential I held, yet... As my progress stopped, I even pushed her away too, refusing to see her whenever she visited.
“Please leave...”
I whimpered. The weight of my reality crushed my fragile heart further; I needed to be alone right now.
“Kana.”
I saw him take a step forward as I ignored the familiar warmth in his voice. I dropped to my knees and pressed my forehead against the hard mat, prostrating myself in front of him.
“Please... Please leave... I beg of you...”
Tears pooled at the sides of my eyes while I struggled to maintain what little composure I had left. I knew I was breaking apart, but this time... I wasn’t sure if I could piece myself back together at all.
“Draw your blade, Kana.”
My forehead pressed even harder against the mat. I... I could no longer use the katana my grandmother had given me. Zane would leave soon, and I would tell Yuriko to return it to its rightful owner.
“Zane... Can’t you see how pitiful I am...? Won’t you leave me be this once?... Please... Don’t make me suffer anymore than I already am...”
Pride? Talent? I had nothing anymore. I observed Zane’s feet take a few steps back, and a sigh of relief was about to leave my mouth when a flash of golden brown light enveloped the entire space.
‘!’
A colourless light replaced the hues of the surrounding area with grey and black. The world turned into a still frame, and I got to my feet in shock at what was happening.
‘T-Territory? But why?’
My gaze shifted to Zane. There was no smile on his face as he folded his arms, staring into my eyes. His lips parted, and his voice drifted into my ears.
“Draw your blade, Kana.”
I clenched my teeth while I saw him lower his level all the way down to mine. Zane intended to spar with me, but I didn’t want to. It hurt.
It hurt so much.
“I refuse.”
I turned around to leave, only to spin to the side, dodging Zane’s fist. He forced me into the spar as we traded blows in the middle of the room. I slipped past his fist and threw an upward palm towards his chin. He knocked it away, pushing me back in the same motion as I slid across the tatami mat.
Despite placing dozens of limiters on himself, Zane outclassed me as I tried my best to at least touch him. My attempts became more and more desperate when his attack pattern changed.
‘!’
My vision distorted, and Zane’s appearance changed to that of when he was a child. I felt a change within myself too when I noticed his lips curve upward.
I envisioned the grassy scenery that had a large sakura tree on a small hill within the Hojo Clan’s residence. My heart thumped as I saw Zane’s cute smile on the opposite side.
He kicked off the ground and dashed towards me.
We retraced the hundreds of competitive spars we used to have as children. Zane performed every motion, every strike, and every mistake he made... Proving that he had never forgotten the time, the many years we spent together.
I slipped past his fist and palmed his chest before I beckoned him to come on. He obliged, and we continued to move as our hearts connected with one another.
‘Zane...’
Tears rolled down my cheeks while my foot crashed into his chest. He somersaulted back to his feet, and we locked eyes with one another.
“Throw away the expectations you’re clinging to, Kana. The only person you need to prove yourself to is you.”
My eyes widened at his words, and my body stiffened. He hadn’t said anything complicated, but I felt enlightened. The one thing I clung to the most was the main thing holding me back. It consumed me, yet I only chased after it more, unable to see any other way to go forward.
I watched Zane’s appearance return to normal as my fingers gripped the sheathed katana. My hand trembled while sweat poured down my forehead; I still... Couldn’t draw it.
“Stop fighting it, Kana. You can’t force your way through everything.”
“Ugh...”
My head throbbed as the world around me went pitch black. Zane vanished, and I stood alone in the sea of darkness.
‘Where...?’
I shifted my gaze up, only to notice a mammoth-sized wall looming over me, lined with several dents and scratches littered across its surface.
I placed my hand against the solid wall as several younger versions of myself stood on either side of me. Some of them cried while striking the blockade in front of them. Some stared at it with lightless eyes, and others desperately tried to look for a way around it; only to despair when they realized there was no end to the wall.
My heart ached as I saw the accumulated years that surpassed a decade, trying to chip away at the wall without rest.
“Tell me who you are.”
“!”
Zane’s voice appeared right next to my ear as a whisper. I spun around, but no one was there, just the empty void staring back at me. My grip tightened around the sheathed katana before loosening.
‘...This is my reality.’
A solemn expression dropped over my face while I smiled wryly. All these years, failing again and again, and now I stood in front of the wall once more.
Prodigy? Talent? Pride? Expectations? There was no need to cling to such things any longer when, even after reminding myself every day about it, no change occurred within myself.
I wanted everyone to respect and fear the Hojo Clan, but... What did they want? My grandmother, my parents, Yuriko, Terra, Zane, Lyon and everyone else within my circle...
The burdens and expectations placed on me were exemplified by myself. The size of the wall in front of me only served to prove that.
It was time for me to let go.
A deep, long breath exited my mouth, and the several other Kana’s around me vanished. I crouched down in front of the wall head-on, gripping the hilt of the family heirloom passed down to me from my grandmother. My lips parted and a soft, powerful voice entered the atmosphere.
“I am who I am. A Hojo; nothing more and nothing less.”
“Then draw your blade, Kana Hojo.”
A thin smile spread across my mouth as I felt a powerful connection with the blade. My lips parted once more in order to confirm it, in order to awaken it.
“Light the way, Suzaku!”
I unsheathed the katana. Red flames scattered around the revealed blade while my hand moved in a single motion, forming a wide vertical arc in front of me.
My Ki detonated, and a flash of fiery red light ran along the gargantuan wall. Cracks spread out from the straight line, followed by a loud explosion.
The wall split apart, and I saw a figure standing in the far, far distance. He was so small that even with my heightened senses, I could barely make out a faint outline of his back.
But that was enough for me.
A deep smile spread across my face. The katana shone scarlet before the light peeled itself away, revealing detailed inscriptions that ran along the blade's surface.
My eyes left a trail of black and red behind it as I stepped through the broken wall. The scenery returned to normal; the colour restored to the surroundings, and Zane stood in front of me with a content smile on his face.
“I’m sorry I made you wait so long, Zane.”