"Sure y’all are good?” Janine asked, flipping a braid over her shoulder while checking her lipstick in the mirror.
“Yeah we’re good, right Baby A?” her sister replied, waving her away before Ainsley pounced on her.
“She’s gonna be up all night you keep playing with her like that,” Janine said, pointing at the pair rolling on the ground in a tickle fight. “Remember to lock up when you go,” she chuckled, walking out the door. A small beat up hatch back sat in front of her driveway and almost on queue, she heard shrieks coming from Ikher's house.
“God damn it,” Janine pinched her nose between her eyes. This was supposed be a fun relaxing night. She contemplated calling for a ride but sighed again when she heard more shrill cries from Ikher’s house.
“I’m going to regret this,” she said aloud as she walked over. Knocking on the door caused more yelling.
“This is exactly what I’m talking about! Who the fuck is that?!” Janine took a deep breath as Ikher walked to the door and opened it. He did a double take before he realized it was her.
“Hey, your friend’s car is-“ she started before the little girl cut her off.
“Why is that fat bitch here again?!” Candace yelled. Janine’s jaw tightened and she could feel herself getting hot.
“Oh shit,” Ikher managed before she pushed him aside, storming into the house.
“Look here motherfucker,” Janine pointed at Candace. ”I was just asking you to move your car, but you want to be a little asshole, so let’s do this. Yeah I'm fat, but I’d rather be fat than look like a used abortion coat hanger with a man jaw and that unwashed rat’s nest you call hair.”
“Fuck you!” Candace yelled.
“Naw little girl. If I’m eating pussy, I’d get someone who didn’t look like they were made of pipe cleaners. Second, you need to stop all this god damn yelling. Everyone on the block knows when you’re here with these preschool temper tantrums. My daughter’s four,” she pointed back to her house. “And she behaves better than your spoiled ass.”
“Fuck you,” Candace yelled again, stomping over and stopped in front of Janine. She put her finger in Janine's face. “You’re not my mother. You don’t tell me what to do.” Janine’s eyebrows went up looking at the finger in her face.
“You’re right. I’m not.” Janine sighed, reaching under her braids and pulling out her earrings. “But, I’m gonna give you the ass whipping your mother should have.” She set them on the kitchen counter and took her rings off. Ikher walked around to stand next to them.
“Hey, hey, why don’t we all just take a breath or two,” he said with a big forced smile as he glanced between them.
“I think we’re past that point, aren’t we?” Janine said, stretching her neck as she stared down at Candace. “Make your move little girl. See what happens.” Candace blinked, the realization of what was happening sinking in.
“Why are you even here?” she asked, backing up few steps.
“You’re parked in front of my driveway.” Janine sighed, pointing back to her house. “I can’t get out. I tried to tell you that before you got stank with me.”
“Oh fuck off.” Candace spat, making Janine throw her hands up and look back at Ikher.
“How do you deal with this dumb bitch all the time?” she asked and then turned back to Candace. “You know what?” she said, snapping her fingers before pointing at Candace. “I’m gonna solve this problem. I lied, I am here for him.” Janine jerked a thumb at Ikher behind her. “We’re going to the club, we’re gonna get live, and then I’m gonna fuck the shit out of him. Is that what you wanted to hear?” She spread her hands with an enormous grin.
“Oh my fucking god! I fucking knew it!” she stomped, turning to Ikher. “You god damn liar! Fuck you! And fuck your stupid black bitch!” she screamed, pointing at Janine whose brows furrowed as she reeled back a bit.
“Oooh, you know what?” Janine sighed, shaking her head. “I can tolerate you being a bitch. I’m a bitch, I get it,” she said, putting her hand into the side of her corset, feeling around. “But I can’t abide a racist,” she said, pulling out a small ivory handle. “Now I’ve gotta cut you,” she frowned, flicking her wrist, which popped out the straight razor blade.
“Oh my god,” Candace squeaked, her eyes growing huge, as she reeled back and tripped over the small coffee table. She backed away on her hands and butt as Janine stalked her around the table until Ikher jumped between them.
“Whoa! Hey! Let’s everybody calm down okay?” he pleaded, holding his hands up to Janine. She peeked around him to see Candace backing into the kitchen and standing up.
“I’m calm,” Janine replied, pointing the razor at Candace over Ikher’s shoulder before glancing back at him. “I don’t look calm to you?” she asked in a measured tone.
“You’re fucking crazy!” Candace yelled. Janine laughed, looking back at her.
“Little girl, you don’t know the half of it,” Janine smiled. “You was talking big shit a second ago. Got anything else to say? Hmmm?” Ikher put his hands up and lowered Janine’s arm.
“Please don’t do this,” Ikher begged her. She glanced at him and winked before turning her attention back to Candace.
“Don’t do what?!” she yelled. “Cut this little bitch into pieces and feed her to the fish in the stream behind the house?!” she screamed, snapping her head side to side, her eyes wide. Candace glanced at the door and Janine saw her opening.
Pushing Ikher out of the way, she raised the razor above her head and took a large step toward Candace. Candace ripped the door open, ran outside and tripped down the steps, falling onto the walkway. Scrambling up, she bolted for her car.
“Come back!” Janine yelled, walking toward the door. She glanced back at Ikher and smiled. “We were just getting to know each other!”
“You’re fucking crazy!” Candace yelled as she reached her car, jumped in, and peeled her tires trying to get away as fast as possible. Janine stopped at the walkway and watched Candace drive away. She turned around, folding the razor back in its handle and walked back up the steps.
“Well,” she sighed, fighting her cleavage to get the razor back in. “That’s one problem you won’t have to deal with again.” Ikher’s jaw hung looking at her. She glanced to him, laughing at his concerned look. “What?” He raised his hand to point at the razor she was tucking. “I wasn’t actually going to cut her! Girls like that wanna litigate,” she shrugged, walking back into his house and dropping on his couch.
Ikher came in and closed the door. He stood there for a second, blinking as he tried to comprehend what happened before he looked at Janine, reclining on his couch, one arm across the back.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he sighed, shoulders dropping.
“Yes I did,” Janine said, letting her head drop to the side as she looked at him. “Do you like fighting with her all the time about nothing?”
“No.”
“Okay, so I just did you a favor. We’ll call that your one ‘get out of crazy free’ card. If she comes back, then I’ll stay out of it and you can suffer. Deal?”
“You didn’t have to be so mean though.”
“Yes, I did,” Janine laughed. “Anyway! Go get dressed,” she waved him to his bedroom. Ikher looked down at himself and back to her.
“I am dressed,” he replied, making her chuckle.
“For the club, dummy!” she laughed. “I was gonna go to Newfield but after that bullshit, I want something more low key. We can hit Velvet up the road.”
“You’re really going to a club?” he asked making Janine cock her head to the side to stare at him.
“Guy, I know I’m fabulous. But do you think I’d have all this titty out for a night at home?” she asked, gesturing to herself. “I’m overdressed for Velvet but whatever. Go put something nice on.”
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
Several wardrobe revisions later, they decided on black dress shoes, a pair of his nicer dark jeans, and a black and silver button up shirt. Walking out of his house and over to Janine’s, she tossed him a set of keys.
“I’m driving?” Janine shook her head.
“Hell no. Pull that one out to the curb for me,” she pointed to her minivan. She walked around to her garage, unlocked and rolled the door up. Ikher got out of the minivan as Janine pulled off a drop cloth revealing a sleek silver two door sedan with tinted windows and steel rims.
“Daaamn.”
“This is Sergio, my baby.” Janine turned back with a sly grin as she patted the hood.
“How much did this cost?” he asked, jaw hanging as he traced a finger along the car walking to the passenger door. Janine laughed.
“Not as much as you’d think. Got it at a police auction from a drug bust,” she winked as she got in. “Let’s hit it. I want to get a parking spot,” she said, turning the key eliciting a smooth low rumble as the engine sprang to life. Ikher jumped in and marveled at the plush leather seats and fancy display.
“Wow, this is nice.”
“Thanks. I don’t take Sergio out much, but he’s due for a spin.” She pulling out of the garage and onto the street. "Can I be nosey?" Janine asked while waiting to turn onto the main road.
"Uhh... sure."
“What kind of name is Ikher?”
“Oh, it's Spanish. My dad named me.”
“You don’t look Spanish,” she said. glancing over causing him to laugh.
“Yeah. I know. I look like my mom except for the nose and ears. Those were from my dad.”
“Where’s mom from?”
“Thailand.”
“The hell did your parents meet if they’re Spainish and Thai?”
“Dad was a radio tech for the government. He’d get deployed to a site for a couple years at a time before they’d move him somewhere else. He was stationed in Thailand when my mom was there visiting relatives. Mom said he followed her around and pestered her like a lost puppy until she gave in and went on a date with him. Figured she had nothing to lose since she was going back to the states.”
“And he was so dashing that they stayed in contact?” Janine said, waving her free hand dramatically.
“Nope!” Ikher laughed. “Mom’s super private. She was pissed when he showed up. She told him to go away and closed the door on him."
“I like the sound of your mom.”
“Yeah, Dad was relentless though. Took him a couple months to wear her down, but she finally gave in. She says she considered a restraining order at one point.”
“Here we are,” Janine announced, pulling into the lot behind the club. “And let me guess, you’re an only child?” she asked with a raised eyebrow as she put the car in park
“Yeah, how’d you know?"
“Cause you’re way too laid back to have ever fought with a sibling over anything,” she pointed at him over the top of the car. He laughed, following her and the piano-heavy jazz music as they rounded the corner to the front door.
“Heeey Roy,” Janine called to the very tall, very skinny doorman with long grey flecked dreadlocks as they climbed the short stairs
“J wah gwan? Everyting up? Una body looking maaad good.” Chatting up Janine, Roy gave Ikher’s id a passing glance before he stamped their hands and waved them in. Janine winked to Roy, then motioned for Ikher to follow.
They wove their way through the room, passing the stage lit with pulsing blues and purples as a three-piece band played on the stage. Janine lead them to a smaller side bar where she hoped up onto a stool.
“You drink?” she asked and Ikher nodded, pulling out his wallet out as he sat down but Janine held her hand up. “I’ve got your first one. Past that it’s on you.”
“Bet,” he smiled as the bartender came over to get their orders.
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“Come on guy. You can make it,” Janine said, one arm around Ikher’s waist helping him out of the club toward the stairs.
“Duuude, I’m good. I don’t help,” he replied, his foot slipping off the first step.
“Yeah, your balance disagrees.”
“You just wanted to hug me. I’m onto you pretty lady,” Ikher grinned at her.
“Oh damn it, you caught me,” she said, laughing and shaking her head.
“Yuh waah me tuh help wid ‘im?” Roy called from the door. Janine looked over her shoulder and lowered Ikher onto the steps.
“Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back,” she pointed at Ikher who tried to bite her finger. She rolled her eyes as she walked back to Roy. “What time you get done?” she asked him, hands on her hips. Roy checked his watch and smiled.
“Ena ah lickkle bit mi dun. Langa if dem aks me fu lock up.”
“Tell them you have a date,” Janine said with a devilish grin as she tugged on his belt.
“Ya.”
“By the time you get out I should have the baby tucked into his bed,” she said, jerking a thumb at Ikher.
“Yuh sure everting criss?” Roy asked, looking over her shoulder at Ikher who was swaying back and forth on the step. Janine followed his gaze, shook her head and turned back to him.
“Yeah, he’s a light weight,” she said, grabbing the back of Roy’s head and pulling him down to bite his cheek. “I’m gonna tuck him into bed. Then you’re gonna tuck me in,” she whispered, grabbing his crotch.
“Maaad,” he replied, grabbing for her hips but she pulled away. She winked again and turned, going back down the steps, holding her hands out to Ikher.
“Come on guy. Let’s get you home,” she said, helping him up and around to the back. When they reached her car, she propped him up against the passenger side, examining him.
“Okay, I can’t have you throwing up in Sergio. You feel sick at all?”
“Nooooo, I’m good,” Ikher answered, waving both hands before giving her a double thumbs up. Janine squinted at him and took a deep breath.
“Yeah, I cant take that chance,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry about this.” She slammed her fist into his gut, doubling him over. Ikher coughed and gasped for air as he fell to his knees groaning. Janine waited but he just rolled onto his side, still groaning.
“Well shit, now I feel bad.” She helped him back up and propped him back on the car.
“How do you feel now?”
“My stomach hurts,” he winced at her holding his gut.
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Janine sighed, opening the passenger door and helping him in.
“You hit like a dude,” Ikher said as Janine got in and started the car.
“Thanks buddy. Flattery will get you everywhere.” She laughed and pulled out of the club’s parking lot.
“Really?” he asked, his head falling back against the head rest with a big smile. “If I said you looked really sexy tonight, where would that get me?” Janine chuckled and shook her head.
“You’re bold when you’re drunk.” Ikher leaned over and wagged his eyebrows at her.
“Is bold working?” he asked, struggling to keep his head up.
“Not tonight,” she said with a laugh, pushing his face until he was back in his seat.
Pulling up to his house, Janine helped him out and up his steps with an arm around his waist. His hand slid down from her shoulder and grabbed her butt as they were going up the steps. She removed it when they got to his door.
“No more grab ass,” she ordered her finger on his nose. His eyes crossed looking at her finger. He backed up almost losing his balance and blinked.
“I’m sorry,” he nodded with his bottom lip out. “Won’t do it again.” Janine sighed and held out her hand.
“Keys?” she asked, waiting while he patted his pockets before fishing them out. Janine opened the door and lead him down the hallway into his bedroom.
“Take your shoes off,” she said, putting his keys on his dresser. There was a loud thump making her turn around only to see him on the floor on his side trying to pull his shoes off.
“Oh for fucks sake. Here let me,” she saidlaughing as she knelt next to him and untying his shoes so he could get them off. Once he did that, she helped him into bed.
“Janine?” he moaned as she was tucking him in.
“Yeah buddy?”
“I’m sorry for hitting on you,” he said, looking up with puppy eyes.
“It’s okay. Good to know I’ve still got it,” she said, patting his forehead. “Get some rest. I’ll check on you in the morning.”
Janine was locking Sergio in the garage when Roy’s truck pulled up. She met him at the top of the stairs where she was as tall as him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
“You gonna break me off something tonight?”
“Mi ah gon break yah off someting serious yuh know,” he grinned as she pressed herself against him.
“That’s what I wanted to hear,” she purred.
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Ikher cracked his eyes, only to snap them shut to keep the searing light from stabbing his brain. The was a loud buzzing in his skull. Squinting his eyes closed hurt. Turning hurt his head. His mouth felt thick and fuzzy, like a worn gym sock. Memories from last night floated in: Janine running off Candace, going to the club, and alcohol. Lots of Alcohol.
“Ugh,” he groaned, sat up, and squinted at the floor while he waited for his head to stop thumping. He was still dressed from last night. Not sure if that was a good or bad, he managed to stand up and get to the bathroom using the wall for support. No puke anywhere was a good sign.
He ran some warm water and splashed his face. The mirror showed he was not the fairest of them all, with dark circles around bloodshot eyes. A sudden booming at the front of his house caused him to tense up, making the headache spike.
Covering his eyes, he used the hallway for support again and shambled into the kitchen to open the door. It was Janine, dressed much more casual than last night: a simple t-shirt and jeans, dull pink lipstick and eye shadow, and her braids tied on one side by a ribbon. She looked him over with an amused smile.
“Hey buddy!” she said, her voice echoing off the walls before going down his ear and bouncing around his skull. Ikher made the motion for turning a volume knob down.
“Little lower please,” he whispered, causing Janine to laugh as she walked in.
“Yeah, I kinda figured you be in this condition.” She giggled as she dropped on his couch. He shuffled over and lowered himself next to her, laying his head on the back of the couch but only opening one eye at her.
“How bad was I?” he asked. She pursed her lips in thought for a moment.
"Not the worst I’ve seen. You’re pretty functional.” She put her elbow on the back of the couch and rested her head in her hand. “You’re also a very flirty drunk."
“Oh no. Did we...” he trailed off as looked at her.
“Did we what?” she squinted at him and he pointed back to his bedroom. “Have sex? No. Though not for lack of trying on your part. You were very…” she paused, considering her wording. “...complimentary. The more booze you got in you the more charming you tried to become.” Ikher covered his face with his hand.
“Aww man."
“You’re fine. You got a little handsy as I helped you up the stairs here, but you backed off when I shot you down.”
“Aww man. I’m so sorry,” he moaned again causing her to laugh even more. She patted him on the arm as she got up.
“Don’t sweat it. I just figured I’d check to make sure you didn’t die before I went to work.”
“Kinda wish I had,” he moaned into the couch.
“Embarrassment doesn’t count,” she chuckled, opening his door. “Eat something and drink some water. When I get back, if you’re up for it, we’ll hit your friends in Newfield.”
“Huh?” he squinted up at her.
“You asked if I could run you to Newfield to pick something up. Don’t remember that either huh?” she grinned. He stared at her for a second before it clicked that at some point last night, he must have asked her to take him to get more weed.
“Oh, yes! Thank you! You’re awesome.”
“I know,” she said, laughing. “Rest up. I’ll be back later.”