“Well, if you insist! Heres your bag, oh and heres Raulie’s! Don’t forget to carry a lustre stone, it’s already sun fall and you don’t want to get caught in the dark!” Said Carl, shoving their bags over to hurry them on.
“—You’re so insensitive!” Nilly wasn’t having it, she couldn’t believe the carefree attitude of Carl considering the atmosphere and all that was just discussed.
“What do you expect? We can all see she’s in no shape to do shit, you’ve heard whats on our agenda and yet you choose to help this nobody?”
“A nobody, were we not in the same team for a few weeks? How can you even—“
“—YES!” Shouted Carl interjecting before Nilly could say another word. “I SAID, A NOBODY. Thats what she is! So what if I’ve know you a little, it’s meaningless, it don’t mean squat. You’re a fool to think for even a second anyone would join you!”
“HOW DARE YOU!” No one had ever seen Nilly so riled up, this was an expression she hadn’t shown until now. Usually she’s happy go lucky and sees the good in all.
“SHUT IT!” Carl pushed on intensifying the ever so sensitive discussion into an argument. “Not everyone has money to splash on another entrance test; just because you’ve built some bridges you think you can now lay tar? To be honest, you’re the selfish and insensitive one for thinking that even for a second we should all throw our own livelihoods for someone we’re one sleep away from forgetting!”
“You really are the worst. I’ve never met anyone so self centred as yourself… I never said I wanted you or anyone else to join me, but—”
“—THEN WHAT? You want us to congratulate you on your selflessness?—”
“—NO! I DIDN’T—”
“—Give you an award for thinking of others and putting their needs first?”
“LET ME SPEAK!” Bellowed Nilly, exhausted and coming to terms with what she had said herself. Could I really leave? She thought. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to get into a root again, sure I’ve got some money, but it’s still risky. What Carl had thrown at her was a piece of reality, but she wasn’t sure herself that she could back away and not take action for her friend. Was it pride, a need to be accepted? Having some sort of point to prove? Raulie at this point had already given up, she was rolled in a ball on the bench, hiding her face between her knees and slumped over. The yells of Carl and Nilly were muted buy her own thoughts and disbeliefs.
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“Call me mean spirited, but sometimes you just have to not give a damn. I have dreams. BIG DREAMS. I bet you everyone else here has their own dreams and reason for being here too! Why else do you think no ones stopping our discussion? It’s the ghastly grim truth that everyone here is too kind to say, but they’re thinking it too, so they let horrid me say it instead. If you want to leave, than go, but don’t expect us to follow you. Fool.”
Nilly looked around the room embarrassed, everyones heads were down, some were fidgeting and trying their hardest not to give eye contact. Tyle motioned to Azekah to come forward to speak.
“I’m not the best speaker when it comes to sentimental things, I think Az has something to say though…” Said Tyle as he rubbed his neck in response to the sensitive situation.
Azekah looked at Tyle, surprised by the nomination.
“Err, yeah I do have something to say.” Spoke Az moving from Raulie’s side and towards Nilly for an upfront conversation. Ji-Ho and Nia moved to the side giving Azekah way to pass.
“Myself and everyone want to apologise on Carl’s behalf. So, we’re sorry.” His face full of sorrow, eyebrows knitted as he thought of things to say.
“What Carl said however is true, although cruel and he certainly should have articulated it better. Nia wants to own her own Craft shop, everything fully customisable… Thats actually how I met her, at an underground Craftware Fair—”
“Move like the black market!” Joined Nia.
“The facts aren’t important here! Not a lot of people want to buy from a women, even if they’re talented so most people laughed at her dreams. Ji-Ho wants to create a space for people to freely practice their craft, exchange information and skills as well as learn new things; it’s so out there and different considering his whole family are middle class and they expected him to take over their business in gem digging and cutting. They refused to support him and made it difficult for him to join any root by bribing the examiners.”
“I get they didn’t want me to do anything but gem cutting, but I never thought they would go this far…” Said Ji-Ho.
“I could go on and on, but we all have our reasons to be here… What I’m trying to say is that don’t think badly of us. Didn’t you have your own dreams too?”
“Not really, no. People told me I’m a hard worker so I decided to give it a go and take the test. I thought maybe I could be a librarian or gemologist... I couldn’t get into Taproot because they said they couldn’t see me fitting in with their style... And Fibrous didn’t want me because apparently my brother had conned one of their leaders out of money... I didn’t have a place until I was accepted here, I wasn’t even going to join until I met Raulie outside the base. She wanted to see the world and meet new people, I thought maybe just maybe I could also do these things. She inspired me, and gave me the belief that there’s more to life.”
“So what’re you going to do?” Said Azekah.
“I... don’t know anymore.” Replied Nilly