It was a usual day for me. I was training the three girls to become guild receptionists. Yes, three. One had dropped out due to her family circumstances. Apparently, her father didn’t want her working here due to the presence of “too many men”. There was nothing we could do, so she dropped out. Out of three, I could tell that only one was going to make it at this point although it was still a bit too early to make the final call. Besides, it wasn’t entirely up to me. I, as an instructor, had a say, but Brian was the one who would make the final calls. He was the boss after all. Even if the other two couldn’t make it as receptionists, there were other roles they could fulfill. I was observing the trainees talking to guild members at the counter until I recognized a very familiar face.
“Umm…, Roseline? Is that you?”
What a fool, I was. At one point, I tried to measure who lost the most among us three. What a dumbfuck, I was.
“Faro, it’s been a while,” she said with a stoic face. Her hair … was white. She used to have pitch black hair but it all turned white… Just … what kind of stress had she gone through to turn all of her hair into white?
image [https://imagizer.imageshack.com/img924/4605/ZSa1vG.png]
“R, Roseline, just what…” I wasn’t able to finish what I wanted to say because she turned around and left after reporting her mission. She wasn’t interested in talking. Now, this wasn’t the first time I’ve met her since coming back from the dragon hunt, but she wasn’t like this. It wasn’t that bad. I was afraid of asking others. It just didn’t feel right. Something was terribly amiss, and I needed more information before confronting her. Alas, there weren’t many people I could ask. In fact, Brian and Duman were the only ones.
“What happened to her?” I asked the guildmaster who took quite a moment to answer after falling into thoughts. He looked troubled.
“She used to be somewhat fine until she began writing a chronicle. Her book is titled ‘the lost heroes’.”
“A chronicle?” I had no idea what it meant actually.
“A story of some sort. It’s about the three who perished,” he replied as if he read my mind. He probably read my face. “Ever since she started that book of hers, it has become worse for her.”
I could certainly see why. If the book was about the three, Amanda, Ayaan, and Meizei, she would need to recall her past memories with them. It would have been like reopening wounds. A bigger question was …
“Why? Why would she begin writing such a book?”
He crossed his fingers on his desk with a long sigh. “It was apparently Amanda’s last wish before … she cast the spell, sacrifice.”
My heart sank the moment I heard that. He went on to tell me that Amanda wanted to be remembered as a woman with “the perfect skin”. Tears began forming in my eyes inadvertently. She was very kind and warm to me. She was like my second mother who always looked after me at the guild. Her unusual habit was … resting breasts on the top of my head while hugging me from behind. That was possible because her boobs were at least twice larger than my mom’s. To be honest, I missed her the most. She was the closest to me out of the five.
“Damn it…” I wiped off my tears with my sleeve.
“You know…,” He hesitated before continuing with his eyes downcast. “I sometimes think that I shouldn’t have sent the group. Often I cannot help but feel that this was ultimately my fault.”
I didn’t deny. Even if he didn’t send us, I do think that the king would have ended up defeating the dragon at one point. It might have taken a bit longer, but he would have done it. In brutal honesty, I did think that Brian sent us to our doom. However, I wasn’t naive enough not to have understood the reason we went. It was to save the world, and it was never, ever, going to be easy. The five of them and me, we all knew what we were walking into. What we weren’t aware of was the price of survival. Death may have been better … or cleaner.
“Perhaps you should talk to her,” Brian told me. “I cannot ask Duman, for he is dealing with his own issues. I am sure that you’ve had your own issues as well. Given the fact that tears welled up in your eyes…, I am sure that you are carrying the burden. But I fear that Roseline might take her own life if left alone after she is done writing the chronicle of hers. That white hair of hers…, I feel it’s a sign that she has given up on life.”
She cannot die. She just can’t. If she departs this world, Duman would probably follow. Both had little attachments to this world apparently. But what could I possibly do? What am I supposed to do…? How could I give her a meaning to live on? What …
I left the guildmaster’s room, feeling numb. Really, what am I supposed to do? I am just a fifteen year-old boy who just came of age. I am not smart, not wise, not even that strong probably. What could I possibly do here? I walked to a corner of the hall and leaned my back against it, looking up with my eyes closed. Taking a deep breath, I fell into thoughts.
A reason to live… It was something I was somewhat familiar with… I was “useless” after all. Everyone needs to have at least a reason to live on. Without it, life has no meaning. I didn’t realize until very recently but I was desperately looking for a reason to live. Trying to find my place in society was exactly the same as looking for a reason to live.
“Having nothing in your life…, I know that feeling a little too well…,” I chuckled while covering my eyes with my hand. It was self-pity. No talent, no real prospect for a career, being called “useless” … I had nothing in my life until I woke up. Perhaps, I didn’t come back alive from the mission. This body was not what I used to have. It was stronger and faster. It was exactly why I’ve been able to shake off the loss of my left arm easily because I’ve been given something I dearly wanted in return.
“But for them? What have they gotten?”
I was sure that they received the gold coins. But, like me, they probably couldn’t care less about the money right now. I am sure that they wanted the money in the beginning, but they’ve lost things that were worth more than money.
“What do they need? What do they want?”
This was something only Duman and Roseline could answer because each of them would have different answers. But it wasn’t hard to imagine what Duman wanted. For him, he would have wanted his wife back. The two talked about starting a family and settling down a lot before departing. I wasn’t entirely sure about what Roseline wanted, however. We weren’t that close, and I perceived her as a rational and silent woman. To make it worse, we rarely talked. I really didn’t know much about her. In reality, I was close to Amanda and Duman only.
“Faro, do you have a moment?” Jane approached and told me in an almost whispering tone, which dragged me out of my swirling thoughts.
“Sure, what’s up?” I acted as normally as I could.
“Let’s go somewhere quiet. It’s sort of … sensitive.”
We went out of the guild and went a short distance away from the building. She took a deep breath and told me with a troubled face.
“Father wants me to get married. But I don’t want to, not yet at least. At the same time, I cannot disobey father for too long. The only way out of it is if I tell him that I have someone.”
I was confused for a moment. Why would she ask such a question? Then my heart sank because I realized that she wasn’t seeing me as a serious boyfriend. Gulping silently, I asked her.
“So? Why are you telling me this?”
Was it because I was two years younger? Was it because of my arm? But she knew the mission I partook in. I am a hero… or am I?
“Do me a favor please. Lie about your age and tell my dad that you are my boyfriend. That will delay his decision to marry me off. I will find someon-”
FUCK!
Grabbing her right shoulder, I pushed her into a wall, and she winced in response.
“I AM A MAN!” I shouted at her. “I’VE COME OF AGE!”
“What?” She sounded very confused but she seemed to have realized what I meant quickly enough. “I do know that, Faro, but you are …”
“I am two years younger than you, so what?! I am still a man!”
She didn’t seem to know how to respond to my statement. I mean, I get it. No woman married a man who was younger than her. But the king married two older women … Then I realized. Of course, he did. I mean the king …, my brother, was an exceptional person, wasn’t he? Mom told me that much. She told me about how exceptional he was with proud eyes. He was so exceptional that women older than him were willing to bow down. That was apparently how good he was. Would she tell my brothers about how exceptional I was? OF COURSE, NOT! I WAS A FAILURE! Tears welled up in my eyes, and I fell onto her.
“God damn it…,” I said to no one. “No one takes me seriously…” My head eventually slid down to her breasts which felt rather … lackluster. I could feel her arms wrapping around my head.
“I, I am sorry, Faro. I didn’t think you were seeing me as your potential wife because … I am older than you.”
Esther, my first crush, was older than me. I didn’t mind the age gap because she was fucking hot. Her flaming hair and refined facial features…, she was a beauty. If such a woman would become mine, no one would scoff at me or so I thought. Jane … was really nothing in comparison but we got along well … or at least I thought. I’ve come to realize that I want a woman who is compatible with me. I did feel she was the one.
“I don’t fucking care about the age! It’s not like you are a decade older than me!”
At this point, people were coming out to see what the commotion was. Some were opening their windows to look down. I’d be really ashamed under normal circumstances but couldn’t care less.
“Are you serious about me then?” She asked as she embraced me tighter.
“I am,” I told her firmly, and she chuckled.
“Then tell my dad.”
“I am not going to lie about my age.”
“That’s fine if you are serious.”
The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.
And I was.
“I want you to be my woman,” I declared and I meant it. “I may not have an arm but I have money.”
“How much?” She asked, and I could tell that she wasn’t taking it seriously.
“I have got 15 gold coins, it was the reward from the mission.”
She immediately pushed me away from her chest and looked into my eyes.
“You are not joking,” she said eventually.
“Why would I lie about that? I was also given a title, so I am actually a lord. You can confirm from Brian if you want.”
Her eyes went wide. It probably made her see me as a man from a boy instantly. I didn’t like the fact that it took money and a title for her to see me as a valid candidate for a marriage, but nobody was going to take me seriously unless I declared my wealth. This was partially due to my appearance as well. Mom told me that I was cute, which was certainly not a desirable treat for women who were seeking a husband. I was basically not masculine enough. But, if I was rich enough, that would be a different story.
“You’d become a lady,” I added. That was true although in name only. Without a land to call home, I wasn’t really going to become a full-fledged lord. Nobody would really respect me as a lord unless I had a stable income and had the wealth to employ servants.
“I … don’t know what to say,” she said after blinking her eyes a few times. Taking a deep breath, she let me go and folded her arms. “I feel like … it’s too much.”
Fifteen gold coins wasn’t obviously enough to live our lives comfortably, but that didn’t change the fact that it was an inconceivable amount for both of us. Jane never held a gold coin in her hands for absolutely sure. A hundred iron coins made a silver coin, and a hundred silver coins made a gold coin. A silver coin was enough for me to feed myself for a month as long as it was bread and veggie soups, so that meant 12 silver coins a year. I’d end up spending a bit over a gold coin over a decade. With her, I’d be spending two gold coins per a decade. Actually, doing the math, I realized that 15 gold coins was just enough for the both of us to live without ever working as long as we lived frugally. Of course, I or both of us would be working, enabling us to afford a higher level of luxury than just an ordinary commoner couple. I realized that I was pretty much set for life as long as I didn’t waste the gold coins. Jane was thinking similarly also because she had her arms folded and was in deep thoughts. A marriage was rarely about love, mom told me. It was a mutual agreement to live together as long as it was beneficial for both of them.
“We … could move into our own home right away,” she said in an almost whisper tone. She probably meant to speak to herself. I found it somewhat amusing that she was thinking so far beyond the marriage itself. It was almost as if it was a done deal. I had to remind her.
“You know, we are not yet married.”
She turned her head toward me. “You said you wanted me. Isn’t that a done deal?”
“What about your father’s approval?”
“There is no way he’d refuse at this point. He might even ask you for a handout.”
I started to wonder whether she was the right woman for me at this point. Her attitude change was so sudden upon hearing my wealth. As if reading my mind, she told me.
“Faro, don’t mistake me. I am simply thinking about the future. We are not kids anymore. I didn’t join the guild just to die an old hag. I joined the guild to get away from my family. I hate farming and I do not want to marry a farmer. I was hoping to find someone to marry within the guild and, if possible, go on an adventure.”
“You? An adventure?”
Why did you become a guild receptionist then? I wanted to ask. Either way, marrying me would certainly get her far away from farming of any sort. But I was starting to have second thoughts after her sudden change in attitude. I wanted a second opinion and the only person I could ask was my mom because she was literally the only other woman I knew in my life. She beamed a smile at me after listening to what I had to say.
“Faro, the difference between a girl and a woman is paper thin,” she told me. “A girl exists to attract men and, once she finds one, the girl will switch to be a woman.”
I had no idea what that meant.
“What I am saying is that her behavior is normal. She switched from a girl to a woman. I would like to meet her, though. I assume her background is a farmer.”
I nodded.
“Will you let me see her?”
I had no reason to refuse mom’s request, so I did. I went back to the guild to bring her home. It was her day off anyway.
“W, wait. Hang on a sec,” she stopped me by grabbing my wrist. “T, that is your home?! You are the son of the tea farmer?!”
“Yeah?” And I saw her jaw drop. Apparently, my dad was a well-known man among farmers in Ceres. He was essentially the king of all farmers in the city because of how well he was off. He was considered a noble even, which was in fact true. My dad was the king’s father. He was a royalty. His farm was isolated with tall hedges, and there was a pair of guards at the only way in. They recognized me and allowed us in. Jane looked shell-shocked as she was led inside.
“You must be Jane,” said my mom who greeted her in a magnificent dress. Jane did not know how to react. Yeah, well, my mom doesn’t look like a farmer’s wife for sure. In fact, she had this aura of refinement. She eventually bowed deeply with both of her hands in front.
“N, nice to meet you, ma’am!”
She thought me meeting her dad was going to be an ordeal. She never saw this coming. I had to grin. She and mom talked for a moment. Mom asked her about her childhood and how she came to work at the guild. She gradually loosened up and became more comfortable.
“Son, have dinner with us,” mom told me, which I duly agreed. Of course, the dinner was luxurious because a roasted boar came out. We weren’t allowed to touch them with bare hands, and a butler was standing by with a knife. He sliced off the boar skillfully and placed them on plates. Father, Taro, and Abel were present as well. Their presences made Jane extra nervous, but it was apparent that her desire to consume the roasted boar was on a higher priority because she couldn’t stop drooling. If no one else was here, she could have grabbed that juicy leg of the boar and would have devoured it.
“Bro, who is she?” Abel asked gleefully. He looked almost exactly like me while Taro looked more like dad.
“She’s my girl,” I told him proudly. Meanwhile, the butler placed a juicy file of boar meat onto dad’s plate who casually started eating. Mom never forced too much etiquette onto him although he did teach him basics. Then it was mom’s turn to receive her share. And then it was me and Jane. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked down on her plate with a big slice of boar meat on it.
“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you,” she said. When she placed a small piece into her mouth, a single tear fell through her cheek.
“Big sis, it’s so good, right?!” Abel said gleefully.
“Abel, tone down,” Taro said. “Eat.” I glanced at him. Taro was becoming more and more like dad while I and Abel took after mom. He was to inherit the farm, so he might as well take after dad.
“It’s … so good,” she agreed. I understood where she was coming from. Until she came to the guild, all she had eaten was veggie soup and bread. Even after coming to the guild, until very recently, all she had eaten was bread and very occasionally expired jerky. She was by no means poor but she had to save money if she were to find a husband on her own. She would be defying her father in doing so, meaning she wouldn’t get any support from her family. In the end, she ate more than I did. She ate six big pieces of the boar, which was more than anyone and twice more than I ate.
“I feel alive!” She exclaimed merrily as we were walking toward the guild. It was starting to get darker, and the sky was drenched with twilight color. “Never have I eaten such a good meal!”
“I treated you to the shrimps a few days ago, remember?”
“I do love shrimps but I love juicy meat better to be honest.”
No argument there. Nothing beats the roasted boar.
“Faro.” Her face was becoming serious. “You are not someone I thought you were. Are you sure that you want me? I am pretty sure that you can find someone far better.”
“Why do you downgrade yourself?” I retorted.
“Isn’t it the truth, though? I am just a farmer’s daughter.”
“So am I. I am a farmer’s son. Well, a tea farmer’s son if you want to nippick.”
“You do know what I am saying, don’t you?”
Well, true. I myself wasn’t impressive, but everything around me was. She didn’t know, but the king was my own brother. He was my full brother, sharing the same parents. My mom was a proud lady of the Fenchel. My dad may not be a true-born noble but the guy was healthy as a wild boar. I’ve never seen him skip a workday. The results were us: The king, me, Taro, and Abel. Then I realized … Four sons. My mom gave birth to four sons. That was the perfect score for a married woman. Damn…, both of my parents are mighty impressive.
“I don’t intend to live as a noble in spite of my title,” I told her. “We will live as a commoner couple.”
“I don’t mind that as long as I get to eat better than the crap that we call food.”
Just like how my parents live. They were essentially nobles but without the actual title. Their living standards were well above average. They had maids and butlers. My goal was to live like them. Jane and I won’t be able to live exactly like them; our living standards will be far lower but it should be somewhat above average. At the least, she will eat better than just bread and water. That much I could guarantee, and it looked like that was all she desired.
“Why did you become a guild receptionist when you said you wanted to become an adventurer?”
Was it because she wanted to find a husband? Was that more important?
“I’ve gone adventuring before but as a support member.”
An adventuring group sometimes had a support member if the group was large enough. I, too, went on adventuring as a support member before. My job was to collect loot and keep them safe. This was when I realized that we were going to need at least one support member if Duman was to depart on an adventuring trip with the Fat Lady. Somebody had to look after the airship as well as do the basic maintenance inside. Duman, Jane, I and … Roseline.
I asked her, “Hey, I have a question.”
“Yeah? What is it?” She was a bit ahead of me.
“How would you help someone when she lost everything?”
It took her a short moment to answer. “Are you talking about Roseline?”
My eyes went wide. “How…?”
“Easy to figure it out because she has had this ‘I want to end everything’ aura for a while now.”
“I … want to save her. I don’t want to lose her. If she goes…, then …”
“Duman will follow,” she finished my sentence for me. “Faro, tell me.”
“Huh?”
“What was it like to face the dragon?”
I paused walking, and she turned around to face me.
Clenching my fists, I replied, “It was … an impossible task. We had no chance.”
“Is that how you lost your arm?”
………… I had no other choice.
“I had no other choice. I made a decision to ram the dragon with the Fat Lady.”
To earn a moment of reprieve so that they could catch a breath and think things out. I was looking down on the ground and didn’t notice her approaching. The next thing I knew, she was hugging me and caressing the stump of my left shoulder that was covered by my half cloak.
“I don’t know how to save Roseline from darkness to be honest with you,” she said softly to my ear. "But I do think Duman knows how.”
“He does…?”
“Didn’t he say he wanted to travel the world with the airship? Won’t Roseline go as well?”
“I am going, too. You can tag along if you like.”
“Really? That’s good. I am more than willing.”
She let go of me and walked around casually, looking up. “Traveling the world casually at your leisure… Who knows? It just might give Roseline the lifeline she desperately needs.”
Yeah…., yeah…, it just might…
“Heh…” I looked at her. She was strictly average in appearance but she was cute in her own way and she was very considerate. She was … a bit too conscious about money and food, but I understood why she was like that, because almost every adventurer I’ve met, they were all crazy about money and food. They’d treat themselves to the best food and drink they could get during their breaks as long as money allowed. That was due to their impoverished backgrounds. Jane was the same. If I grew up eating crap, I would have ended up like her most likely. Looking up at the twilight sky, I said to myself with a sigh and my shoulders sagged.
“Everyone and their circumstances…”
It made me realize how important childhood was. If you grew up with something lacking, you’d go after it after you become an adult. By that logic, I could tell how good my parents were because I didn’t desire anything. I had the luxury of trying to find my place in society. I was sure that, for most people out there, trying to find their place wasn’t on their list of to-do. Like Jane, they had to earn money and feed themselves first and foremost.
“Nothing ever easy in life, eh,” I said to myself as I walked faster to catch up to Jane. I needed to take smaller steps first. The same applied to Roseline probably. She won’t be saved in an instant. We needed to take it slowly and progressively for her. I felt that getting her on the journey with us was the first small step we needed to take. I felt that we needed to take her mind off to something else. We needed to make her realize that there was more than just darkness in this world.