From what Souhait had seen in Ras’s memories, Ras had spent most of his childhood in a basement where he had lived with his father. The basement was dark and very dimly lit, similar to how his Realm of Desires looked. The violet fireball helped illuminate the scenery in the memory. From what it showed him, he only saw boxes. Some boxes were closed, some were empty and flattened to make makeshift beds and some were opened. It definitely looked like they had lived in someone’s storage room. The only way out was through a steel door up a flight of stairs. He placed a hand to his chest. The air did not feel clean, yet it was still breathable for comfort.
The light then illuminated a young Ras, a pure and optimistic child–the total opposite of his current self; he looked to be around eight or nine years old. He was holding a lantern while staring at the door above him with curiosity.
Dad says that the door leads to a world far different than the dark one here. He says it is full of danger and sorrow and that it’s best for me to stay right here where it’s safe. Just what lies beyond this dark world full of boxes?
Souhait looked at the adult Ras. There was no need for him to touch him to let him hear his past thoughts–he didn’t want to touch him either.
A voice called out to him. “Ras, what did I say about looking at that door?”
The violet light floated towards the left and circled around a frail looking man with the same shade of blond that Ras had, but had green eyes. He looked as if he was going to collapse had he taken one more step forward.
“Sorry, Dad! I’ll go over there!” The young Ras scurried towards his haggard father to help him sit down on a closed box they use as a makeshift chair.
Overall, the sight in front of Souhait was not a pleasant one. He didn’t like how someone could live like this.
“It must have been tough living in a basement throughout your childhood.”
“It wasn’t. The darkness and the dim lights had been a part of the earliest parts of my life. Despite that, I still had food, clothes, shelter and a father who loved me dearly.”
Hearing that last word furrowed Souhait’s brows. “If your father loved you dearly, he would have known that this was no lifestyle to raise a child.”
“I know. I know more than anyone that this was an abusive household, but I still accepted it and my father.”
Souhait was about to say something, but stopped and had his eyes back onto the memories, resuming it; he just wanted to focus on it.
Once his father was settled down, he started coughing furiously; he covered his mouth with his fist, to not let germs fly off onto his young son. The young Ras sat down next to him with worry. “Are you okay, Dad?
When he stopped coughing, his father pulled his son into an embrace. “Ras, the world that lies beyond the steel door is dangerous.”
The young Ras returned the embrace. “You’ve told me this a hundred times already. I was only curious about the door because it only opens to give us food. If the world beyond the door is so dangerous, why does it give us food? We eat food to survive, then that means the world outside isn’t all that dangerous because it wants us to live.”
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Souhait was surprised to hear something rather philosophical from a child of around eight, especially one who only lived in a basement since his birth. He noticed his father was as surprised as he was. He then let out a small chuckle that was cut off by a light cough.
“Perhaps, you’re right…” He whispered. “But, it’s still dangerous and cruel. You’ll understand someday, when you leave this place.”
The young Ras perked up from his words. “Will I be able to leave this place? When?”
“The day you leave this place is when I am no longer alive. How does that make you feel now?”
Perhaps, it was his father’s way of implementing a scare tactic into gaslighting his own son to stay by his side, but Souhait found it foul for him to say such words to a child. As he expected, the young Ras started becoming scared as he clung onto his father’s arm. “I’ll stay here if it means you’ll stay alive!”
They both laid down on the cardboard bed. Ras seemed to have an idea as he sat up. “Dad, can we look at the stars today?”
His father reached a hand out to caress his cheek. “Go ahead.”
Ras went to a nearby box and took out a projector that he set up by himself. When he turned it on, an image of a starry sky illuminated the darkness above them. When he went to lay down next to his dad, he could only stare at the sky with marvel.
“Dad, there are stars out in the outside world, right?”
“Yes.”
“Stars are so beautiful, so how can they be dangerous?”
“Everything in the outside world is dangerous. However, do you know what the most dangerous thing is?”
Ras then turned to look at his father with a confused expression. “What is it?”
His father sighed. His eyes were glued to his. “Ras, the most dangerous thing in this world are people. People create but they also destroy. People come into your life and use you however they please. A parent would use their child to fulfill the things they couldn’t accomplish. Men and women use each other in hopes of learning about love. People destroy, but they also love. The same happened to me. I love someone, but it caused me to live in this basement with you.”
The young Ras looked a little confused, but he did his best to soak in what his father was telling him. His father turned to look at him as he caressed his cheek. “One day, you’ll fall in love with someone. They will become your everything. They’ll love you but also hurt you at the same time. When that day comes, I want you to keep loving that person, no matter how bad they become.”
“Why should I love someone if they hurt me?”
“It’s a complicated feeling, honestly…”
They stopped talking as they observed the star projector. Suddenly, a shooting star showed up, which excited the young boy. “A shooting star!” He clasped his hands together and closed his eyes to make a wish.
Dear Shooting Star, I wish to see the outside world. Dad says that it’s dangerous, so I hope that he and I can go outside together.
Once he was finished making his wish, he turned to see his father asleep. He decided to grab a blanket from the box where he had gotten the projector and tucked him in. Once he also burrowed into the space next to him, he fell asleep.
That was where the memory ended. Souhait turned to Ras who had a conflicted visage. He could tell he wasn’t expecting a trip down memory lane and that he didn’t expect there to be a first destination. It was an expression that clients always had; even Arcturus had it when he experienced the Realm of Desires.
All Ras did was whisper, “Dad…”
“Did you have the illness he had?”
“Yes, apparently, it’s common on my father’s side of the family.” He paused.
Souhait, knowing that he didn’t want to talk about his father anymore, changed the subject. “Since your wish of wanting to go to the outside world did eventually happen, how did you feel when you first stepped foot outside?”
Ras did not respond. Souhait wasn’t used to the silent treatment, but he didn’t mind. He then got out the medicinal tablets; there were four left, so he took the second one and bit it.