She entered her small rooms in her sisters aircraft that was now part of the northern wing of the tower. Yordana looked up from her wounded leg as she entered. Her sister was always eager to fight and ready for a fight at any moment. She always made fun of Alexa's unwillingness to fight without a cause.

"Hey." Yordana winced as she continued to clean the wound . "Damn shrapnel almost cut off my leg. I was lucky I didn't go further down the slope. You should have seen some of the others." 

Surely she knew that Alexa did not want to see what happened to the others. Yordana looked up at Alexa. 

"What's up? Sad to see these marvelous legs getting damaged?" Her smile disappeared when Alexa didn't respond, but simply sagged down onto the bed.

"But seriously... what's up? Dimitar stormed past here as if he had a machine on his heels."

She cried while she told the story of her mission, the discussion she had with the High Council and her demotion. Between sniggers, Alexa realized she was unable to let go of the concept of peace. Of the possibility, that somewhere, somewhere, peace could be found without resorting to violence. That her race could be saved, without fighting till the last of them. It struck her that fighting no longer held the same purpose for her. Fighting, evacuating and dodging only delayed the inevitable. The machines made their purpose very clear; to wipe the Scav of the face of the planet. She no longer wanted to protect everyone by fighting a pointless battle, no longer wanted to lose her friends and family. No, she longed for peace, longed to build meaningful relationships that would not be torn apart for no reason. 

"I'll ask Tamarov to put you in my squad." Yordana interrupted her train of thought, she had obviously been waiting to share the news with her. "You can be my second in command. We will call ourselves the Dimitrova-squad and we will defeat the machines with ease." 

"I.. Thank you." Alexa stammered. She and her sister shared blood, but that was about the full extent of their sisterhood. Her sister puzzled her most of the time; how could she be happy to fight, look forward to it even? Did she have a deathwish?

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"Don't mention it.. It'll be so much fun!" Yordana said.

Alexa didn't respond, but laid down on the bed on the other side of the room and pressed her damp cheeks in the pillow. Thinking of the future of the Scav made her feel powerless and sad, but she couldn't let it go. Shelter at the Mumy Pact would not help. She would bet on it, that the Mumy Pact agreed cause they were pressed into a corner as well. That the Pact hoped that the Scav would prove useful in their own fight against the machines. Except the Pact itself, which were two races allied, none of the other races had ever protected or sheltered another race. The High Council should be sceptical towards the offer of the the Murn and Myln, not rush into it blindly cause of Victor.

What would happen if she would refuse to fight? The High Council had always been clear. Those who do not provide food or perform necessary functions were required to do military work. What would happen to her if she refused to report tomorrow to the Captain? It was unheard of, everyone knew that the armed forces were the only reason the Scav still existed. There was a fair chance that they would punish her, treat her like a paria and make an example of her for the others to see. She really didn't want to report, didn't want to be engaged in yet another pointless fight. 

She'd rather abandon her people, then deal with the desperation that was part of the life in the tower. She'd rather lose the people she loved at the moment she chose. She'd rather live her life trying to achieve something, than to be unhappy while delaying the inevitable. She'd rather leave to find an alternative, than to try the same thing that didn't work for decades. She decided she would leave before the tower was evacuated.