Sunny stared at him with his singular eye, contempt clear on his distasteful expression. His gaze was accusatory, angry, and disappointed all in one sharp glare. In a way, Basil was almost touched that Sunny cared about him at all, even negatively. At the same time, he almost wished that he didn’t care. He doubted that he was really worth the emotional baggage and worry that came with him. Really, his sole remaining purpose in life was to ensure that no one knew about what happened that day, about what happened to Mari. Sunny had done his part already, taking the secret to the grave. So why couldn’t Basil do the same? The guilt of his inaction ripped through his heart, and it only intensified whenever he thought about Sunny.
He understood, of course, why Sunny had done it. No matter how much it hurt to think about, or how much he wanted to deny it, Sunny had done the right thing. He should have done it a long time ago. Basil should have done it a long time ago. But now, here he was, stuck in a different world from Sunny, and left alone with the sole task of keeping the secret buried. The only thing was, how long could he hold up that weight? For how long would he act as a metaphorical Atlas, just barely keeping that impossibly heavy truth from crushing him altogether?
How much longer would he live like this, he wondered. Constantly searching for a way to die, but never finding the courage to go through with it. He needed Sunny. He needed Sunny. The sheer, crushing desire overwhelmed him to the point of suffocation. But he was dead, and Basil was not. Not yet, anyway. Shame flushed in his face as he remembered what he had done at the lake. Sunny had appeared and given him a chance. A chance to escape, to finally be with him again. To leave the life he had ruined behind and start over again with no secrets to weigh him down. But that didn’t happen, did it? No, he hesitated. He got scared. Allowed himself to be saved by Aubrey. He didn’t know whether to be mad at himself, or Aubrey, or both.
Sunny scowled at that. Wincing, Basil nodded his head in agreement. Aubrey didn’t know any better. He couldn’t get mad at her. He only wondered why she would even bother saving him. Did she just feel guilty about bullying him for all of these years? Why? All of those things she said about him being a creep was true anyway. If only, if only he could tell her the truth. Then, perhaps she would understand. Hell, she would encourage him. Cheer him on as he dragged himself to the finish line, maybe even jumping in to give him the shove that he needed.
The scene formed beautifully in his head, like a time-lapse of an artist at work. He’d tell her to follow him to somewhere secluded, somewhere in the middle of the woods. Not the hangout spot or the treehouse, but rather this one spot that he sometimes visited that was full of spiders and beetles, where the sunlight couldn’t quite reach through the thick leaves of the trees that somehow grew together, branches and stems intertwined with each other and forming a singular entity. This one spot that he never showed anyone, not because he didn’t want to, but because he knew how uncomfortable everyone else was with insects.
Aubrey would follow him there, no doubt. Then she would see all of the insects and want to leave. But first, he would tell her. Tell her about how Something pushed Mari down the stairs and tried to frame Sunny for it. Tell her about how he convinced him to hang Mari outside. Tell her about how he constructed the noose with a jump rope and left her there to rot and never told anyone and left Sunny alone as he stewed in his guilt all alone in his room and even when he finally left couldn’t do anything and just made everything horrible again and cut his eye, god he stabbed his eye with shears, fucking stabbed his best friend’s eye because he was scared of Something.
There would be a moment of disbelief. “Basil, what are you talking about?”
“This… This is some sick joke, Basil.”
“What’s wrong with you, Basil?”
But it wasn’t a joke! It was the truth. It was the truth that ate away at him for all of these years, the truth that Sunny escaped from. Maybe he would exaggerate a little. Perhaps, take Something out of the story altogether? It couldn't be so easily understood anyway. No, he could be the one to push Mari down the stairs. Then convinced poor, confused Sunny to help him in hanging the body. The pure, unadulterated rage on Aubrey’s face as he retold his story made him smile. She would forget about the spiders, forget about everything except for him. The one behind Mari’s death. The one behind their friend group breaking away from each other.
The reason why Sunny jumped off that hospital rooftop as soon as he woke up.
She would kill him. Club him over the head with her bat, on the side with all of the nails.
She would leave, though not after spitting on his carcass. Then he would quickly decompose as all of the spiders and flies and beetles and worms ate his corpse. He would feed the ecosystem around him.
He smiled weakly at that. Yes, but then that would defeat the whole purpose, wouldn’t it? Then she would know it wasn’t a suicide that took Mari away from everyone. Alas, it was okay to dream every once in a while. No, no one could help him with this. Not even Sunny, from wherever he’s at right now. This was something that he needed to do himself. He had relied on others for his entire life, it was time for him to just suck it up and do something right by himself for a change.
Sunny vanished, and his heart dropped. Squeezing his eyes shut, he told himself that it was okay. Everything was okay. Everything will be okay. Maybe they would be able to meet again after all? Even if Sunny hated him, that would be wonderful. He smiled in spite of himself. He looked at where Sunny used to be and said that it was okay. He just wanted to let him know that everything was okay. Even if he hated him, that would be fine.
Basil would always follow him. He owed that much to him, didn’t he? Even if Aubrey tried to stop him, even if she tried to talk him out of it… He wouldn’t be swayed. Hopefully.
----------------------------------------
“What the fuck just happened?” Aubrey found herself completely speechless as Basil walked out of the restroom and closed the door behind him without a second thought. One minute, he was having a complete and utter meltdown, screaming nonsensically and tearing his hair out. She could see the small tufts of hair on the ground where he was sitting. Then, he just… stopped. Stopped struggling and looked at her with an unsettlingly empty look in his eyes, completely glazed over.
Thirty seconds passed, and Aubrey had begun to wonder if he was having a stroke. She had almost gotten her phone out and called 911 when he just got up. Told her he was fine, and then left.
Blinking, Basil looked around him. He was still in the restroom, sitting on the floor with nothing but a towel wrapped around his body. Coughing awkwardly, he stood up and brushed past Aubrey who stared at him uncomprehendingly. “Basil? Are… uh… you alright?”
Basil slowly turned and looked at her with what he hoped was a reassuring grin. “Yeah, I’m fine! Sorry, I think I’m just a little tired. I don’t know why I got so worked up anyway. I’m gonna go get dressed, it’s getting a little chilly. We can talk after, ‘kay?”
Aubrey stared at Basil with an extremely concerned look on her face. The way she looked at him, it was like he was a fragile and expensive vase in the middle of an indoor soccer game. And could anyone blame her? She didn’t want to admit it, but Basil seemed kind of… unhinged. It reminded her of a horror movie she had once watched after Kel dared her. It was a few weeks before Halloween, and they - Aubrey, Kel, and Hero - were hanging out at his house, discussing costume ideas while Sunny and Mari practiced for their recital. Kel got the idea of dressing up as some crazy serial killer he had seen in a horror movie he rented out.
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“It’s gonna be, like, the scariest costume ever! I bet I can even get one of those fake blood thingies too!” Kel laughed. When he noticed Aubrey staying silent, a mischievous grin snuck up on his face. “What’s wrong, Aubrey? Scared?”
“H-Huh?!” Aubrey pouted. “No way! You can’t be scary Kel, I bet that even if you dress up like a huge spider, not even Hero would be scared. What’s so creepy about some old guy in a movie anyway? He’s just an actor, it’s not like he actually kills people.”
“Oh yeah?” Kel retorted. “If you’re so confident, then why not watch the movie? All by yourself with the lights off at night! Bet you won’t, scaredy cat.”
“AM NOT!” She yelled back.
“Scaredy cat! Scaredy cat!”
“Guys, guys. No need to get so worked up.” Hero sighed tiredly. “Kel, stop it with the name-calling. It’s rude. And Aubrey, keep your voice down. It’s late, I don’t want you to wake up our neighbors.”
They had stopped after that, of course. They knew better than to continue fighting with Hero around. But then Kel leaned over while Hero wasn’t paying attention and sneakily handed a VHS tape to her, eyes lighting up in a silent challenge. So of course, she snatched it from him and later that night, she had plucked the tape in, turned on the TV, and got comfortable next to her Mom, who had fallen asleep with the remote still in her hands.
The serial killer Kel wanted to dress up as… well, he definitely lived up to his title. There was a lot of blood, and she had almost thrown up multiple times at all of the gory scenes. And the worst part, whenever the killer was slaughtering his victims, there was this deranged, manic look on his face. Like he was both having the time of his life and suffering at the same time. In other words, acting completely insane. But when all of the killing was said and done, he just turned back to normal. Happy, outgoing, kind… Basically, a regular person.
It was one of the worst nights of her life. She only watched about half of it before turning off the TV and running to her room, turning on the lights and locking the entrance. She never admitted it to Kel, but she didn’t sleep at all that night. She only sat there in her bed hugging Mr. Plantegg and jumping at every slightest noise.
Of course, it doesn’t scare her these days. In fact, she had even rewatched it last year; she stopped watching halfway through again, not because it was scary, but rather because it was so mind-numbingly awful that it physically hurt to watch. With thick, gooey blood that was most definitely literal kitchup, and cringy acting coming from people who clearly never been in a movie before, it was the very definition of a 0/10.
Still though, she had to admit. The way that the serial killer was able to switch moods so completely and easily in the blink of an eye… It unnerved her, just a bit.
“Aubrey?” She blinked as the mention of her name brought her out of her thoughts.
“Aubrey? Hellloooo?” Basil frowned and waved a hand in front of her face. Frowning, she backed away and instinctively swatted at the hand. “Oh, you’re awake. You were spacing out pretty hard there, just staring at me for like a full three minutes. Everything okay?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m fine…” Aubrey paused and deepened her frown. “Wait, that’s what I should be asking you. What happened there? You had, like, a complete breakdown and now you’re suddenly all better? You know, you don’t need to pretend like you’re okay. I understand if-”
“Pffffft, don’t worry about that .” Basil scoffed. In lieu of his usual outfit, he was dressed in a soft pair of oversized plaid pants and a basic white t-shirt. He backed off and plopped down on his bed, putting his hands behind his head. All in all, he was the splitting image of someone without a care in the world. “I think my brain was just messed up from the near-death experience I had at the lake. Thanks for pulling me out of there, by the way. I’ve always been a poor swimmer.”
“Nuh uh. Hold on, time out.” Aubrey shook her head. “We’ve done this before, come on Basil. Remember when we went shopping together with Polly? You acted all happy back then but you were just trying to hide your feelings, weren’t you? You don’t need to do that Basil, really. I’m here because I want to help you.”
Basil smiled brightly at that. It was the kind of smile that reminded her of those good years, back when they were still a group together. It was the kind of smile that told her that he felt lucky to have such good friends, that he was glad that they were being nice to him. “Aw, that’s so sweet Aubrey! But I’m fine, really. I’m definitely feeling a lot better now, so don’t worry about a thing.”
“But you’re not.” Aubrey insisted. If she looked closer, she could see through his mask. His hands still had that anxious tremor, as if he was nervous that something was about to happen. His frame, which was always skinny and frail, had shrunken even further, giving him the appearance of a walking stick. “Basil, you don’t have to act like this! We can… we can help each other out, you know? Sunny-”
Shockingly, Basil rolled his eyes, smile dropping in an instant. Out of all of the years Aubrey has known him, she hasn’t seen him do that once. He had always been too polite, too mild-mannered. “Act? You’re the one acting here. Why are you even here? Just leave. You act like I’m trying to hide my feelings, and that you care about me, but you’re just doing all of this because you feel bad about bullying me, aren’t you? Well, nothing you do is gonna change that. So instead of trying to make it up to me by being annoying, why not do something like community service? Or donating to homeless people? You know that old hobo guy out there who always hangs out at the park? Why not do some actual good?”
“...”
Sighing, Basil sat up on his bed. “Look, I’m thankful and all that you helped me out at the Lake, but you don’t have to feel obligated to hang around. And you especially don't have to feel obligated to just stand outside my shower like some weirdo. We can still hang out or whatever, but don’t keep pretending you’re trying to save my life.”
“Do you think I’m stupid?” Aubrey crossed her arms. “You almost drowned yourself Basil. I saw you just fall forward into the lake. And before that, you had a complete nervous breakdown in your garden.” She pointed at his hands, which had tattered strips of gauze wrapped around his palms. “Are you telling me that it’s normal for someone to just cut their own palms like that with their nails?”
Basil flinched and looked down, hiding his hands beneath his blanket. “That… I was just…”
“And that’s not to even mention what just happened! You were ripping out your own hair, and I was shouting at you to stop, but you just kept going and going and… It was horrible, Basil.” Aubrey sniffed, blinking back unshed tears. “I don’t want to see you like that ever again.”
“So, what? What are you gonna do? Just hover around me for the whole day? Hang out and act all friendly and pretend like we want to even be with each other?” He asked. “We can’t go back to the way things were, Aubrey. It’s too late for that. Hero’s trying to work himself to death, Kel keeps hiding behind his happy-go-lucky attitude, and both Mari and Sunny are dead .”
He stood up from his bed and gave her a miserable glare. Trying to be angry, but not quite having enough energy to pull it off convincingly. “So here I am, trying to be a better person, trying to move on, and then you show up as if you hadn’t been antagonizing me for all of these years, and think that we can just be friends again? Just like that?”
“... Heh. You know, I never thought that I’d see you arguing back like this.” Aubrey said quietly. “What even happened? Just yesterday, you were acting like a nervous wreck, like you normally do. But now, all of the sudden, you’re like this .”
He looked away from her, the slightest tint of red showing up on his pale cheeks. A few moments in silence came, and when it became clear that Basil wasn’t going to say anything, she sighed.
“Back when we were kids, you would try to avoid any disagreements with anyone. Hell, you avoided any type of confrontation at all costs. You just wanted everyone to be happy, didn’t you?”
“...”
“You’re right. Things can’t go back to the way things were… But that’s not what I’m trying to do here. Basil, you’re not fooling me. I… I know you’re hurting inside. I’ve done some pretty shitty things to you, I know. So won’t you let me try to make it up with you? Even after everything, Basil. I still want to be friends.” Aubrey rubbed her arm awkwardly, avoiding eye contact as he turned back to look at her.
“Why?” Basil muttered. “W-Why are you… Why are you trying so hard to make me feel better? What’s the point?”
“I don’t want to lose you too.” Aubrey said. “So come on. Let me help you out here.”
“...Do whatever you want.”
She exhaled, finally. She was so relieved that she didn't notice the contempt in his eyes as he stared at her.