Teresa slowly moved the meatball on her plate from side to side, keeping her eyes lowered and mouth shut, the knot in her stomach only tightening with every second. Slowly, she began cutting the meatball up with her fork just so she had something else to focus on.
“And can you believe it?” her mother said, giving a light laugh. “The next thing I know, she’s running to the couch, soaked from head to toe and writing in her little book. She was always such a literal child, but she never could think things through. I do hope she’s gotten better.”
William just laughed, shaking his head. “Sometimes. I do worry about her, though. There’s been more than a few times she’ll start something and then run off, leaving it half done.” He reached out and gently scratched her between the shoulder blades, making her jump. She turned and gave a soft, weak smile to him. “But she tries her hardest and that’s all that matters. Right, honey?”
“Thanks,” Teresa said sheepishly, her eyes lowering again. “And I was seven, mom. I’ve gotten a lot better at remembering my ideas and getting them down without making a mess.”
Her mother only laughed, shaking her head. “Oh honey, we’re just joking with you.” Teresa sighed and wished they could ‘joke’ with her without bringing up all her humiliating mistakes. “You always were such a creative sort, running around with your little books and getting lost in all your little games. Did I ever tell you the story of when she tried to make her first virtual reality game? What did you call it, dear?”
“Dragons and goats,” Teresa said before sinking into her chair as much as she could, wishing it would eat her to get her out of this mess. “I was eight, it was a silly idea.”
“Oh yes. Dragons and goats. Save the dragon from the big scary goat, right?” her mother asked, giving another light laugh. “It happened right after that goat at the petting zoo bit you.”
William laughed as well, shaking his head. “You should be thankful, Helen. I had to actually test it for her. I can still remember the ‘scary’ bahing of the goat when it got closer to you.”
Teresa only felt her cheeks getting redder and quickly returned to cutting up her meatball. “I’ve gotten a lot better at coding since then too.”
“Oh, right. You’re still doing that designing thing of yours, aren’t you? Making models for games?” Helen asked, before taking a small bite of her salad.
“No. I design virtual reality resort locations for people. Islands, theme parks, things like that. It’s--”
“Yes, yes, you make pretend worlds for people. You know, you’ve always been so smart, Teresa. You could get a real job if you really applied yourself, maybe become an architect,” her mother said, cutting her off.
“I do that pretty much now,” she said, keeping her eyes lowered and rolling up a noodle on her fork. “I just--”
“I mean a real architect. Not just doing these occasional jobs, but real, honest work. No more pretend things, but making real things for real people,” Her mother said.
Teresa’s cheeks just burned more. “I create things people really like. In fact, tight now I’m designing a virtual island. I’ve actually almost finished.”
“Mmmm hmm. And how much do you get paid?” her mother asked.
Her cheeks couldn’t get any redder. She really hated talking about how much she made, she never did make quite enough to justify the amount of time and effort she put into it. But it made her happy, wasn’t that important?
“You’re so lucky that William is generous enough to take care of the two of you. It’s such a relief knowing that at least someone is taking care of our little girl,” Helen said. “How has work been for you, Will?”
“Pretty good, actually. My team just managed to land a really big job setting up the wiring for that stadium downtown,” William said. “We’re expecting a pretty hefty bonus from it.”
“That’s delightful. See, Teresa? You’re so lucky you get to stay home all day and play your games. I couldn’t do anything like that when I was your age,” Helen said before nudging her husband. “Isn’t that right, Russel?”
Russel just grunted before giving a shrug.
“I don’t play that many games,” Teresa said softly.
“Oh, don’t listen to her,” William said. “All last week she was playing this new online game with a bunch of her friends.”
“Oh dear, is that safe? A whole week?” Helen asked. “I’ve been hearing all about that illness that’s been spreading amongst gamers. VMS?”
“VNS,” Teresa said. “Virtual nerve syndrome. And it’s not that dangerous unless you play high intensity games with your touch sensations put on too high. I don’t do that. Most of my time in virtual reality is spent on work, though. I only play a few hours a day at most. No more than most people spend watching television.”
“Surrrrrre you do,” Helen said with a light chuckle. “William, you truly are a saint taking care of her like that.”
William just shrugged and smiled. “Oh, it’s fine. Those games make her happy, I don’t care if she wastes all her time on them. I’d love my baby no matter what she spent her time on, so long as she kept out of trouble.”
Teresa squirmed a little, giving another soft sigh. She knew that sometimes money was tight because of the nature of her job. That and she had never really been good with money to begin with, that’s why William always handled the finances, paying the bills, rent and everything else. The influxes of her commissions helped, but she doubted they did much in comparison to what he spent on her. She took another small bite of her food, keeping her eyes lowered while William started talking about his job and his new project.
Teresa felt small and pathetic. She’d often weighed the idea of getting a ‘real job’ one day, but it had just never felt right. She’d worked in a few different places, but she’d always felt emotionally and mentally drained at the end, like her mind was being turned to mush. When she’d gotten her first commission a few years back, William had offered to let her move in with him. She’d been eager to get away from her parent’s home and set off on her own.
Now Teresa wasn’t so sure. She wondered if she was just a drain on him, devouring his resources and having nothing to show for it. While she did give him all of the money from her commissions, they could be fairly sporadic. He never let her see the bills, either, since he said he didn’t want her to worry about them. She wondered if, maybe, she should just try and get a real job. She took another bite of her food and sighed, glancing towards William.
She really was lucky he took care of her.
------
This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.
Teresa was lost in her thoughts on the drive home, her gaze focused on the ground. “Why were you being so rude?” William asked, glancing towards her.
“Huh?” Teresa asked. “I’m sorry, I was rude?”
“Yeah. You barely talked to your parents tonight. I kept having to continue the conversation,” William said.
“Sorry. I just didn’t have the mind for it tonight. Wasn’t feeling well,” Teresa said.
“Are you sick?” William asked, the tension rising in his voice.
“I don’t know. Just focusing a lot on the project, I guess. Besides it was just the same stories over and over,” Teresa said, trying to keep the depression out of her voice. “I was a kid, it was a stupid game. It’s not like I was planning to create some great massive game series. I was just angry at the goat and thought dragons were cool.”
William sighed and shook his head. “Honey, if you’re not feeling good, you should just tell your mom. Better than making us waste an evening doing it.”
Teresa cringed and her hands gripped themselves tightly. “I’m sorry.”
“I only go to these things as a favor to you. It’s not like I want to waste my evening hanging out with them all the time,” William said, his tone flat and annoyed.
Teresa nodded slowly. She honestly hated going to these hang outs as well, but if she didn’t her mother always threw a big fit. “Sorry. If you like, I can go alone next time.”
“No way. I wouldn’t make you do that alone. Besides what would they think about me if I just let you off on your own like that? How would you even get there?” William asked, lightly chuckling at the notion. “What if something came up and I needed that car?”
“I could take the bus,” Teresa said.
William only laughed harder at that. “Right, the bus. And get lost again? Remember last time?”
Teresa gave a soft sigh when she remembered that disaster. “That was a lot further. And I got confused by all the maps. If I just got a bus pass I--”
“Are we going to have to go over that again?” William asked. “Bus passes are expensive. Besides, I can drive. What would you even need a bus pass for? Where would you go? And I can’t drop everything if you get lost again.”
“I could go grocery shopping,” Teresa said.
“For short trips, sure. But it’s cheaper to just have them delivered now,”
Teresa nodded, keeping her eyes lowered. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” She stared at the dashboard, trying to keep her frustration from showing.
William glanced over and took one of his hands off the wheel once they stopped at a light. He reached out and gently stroked her hair. “Hey. Come on. Don’t be sad. You know how precious you are to me. I couldn’t bear to have anything happen to you. It’s why you should just stay home where it’s safe and play your games.”
“You’re right. Thank you. I’m sorry. You know how my mom always makes me feel...” Teresa struggled to find the right words. Small. Helpless. Insecure. Her mother had always been so much stronger and more capable than she was. She’d been a hard worker, getting a job and moving out the moment she was able. Teresa, on the other hand, had lived with her parents most of her life before moving in with William. She couldn’t support herself, let alone live on her own. Every visit with her parents just made her feel more and more useless. As much as she would love to just stop having them, the weeks of guilt from her mother just wasn’t worth it.
“You could always just tell her you don’t want to come,” William said.
“I know, I know,” Teresa said gently, wishing it was really that simple.
William sighed and started driving again once the light turned green. “When we get home, do you want to work on your games some more?”
“They’re not games,” Teresa said softly. “I’ve barely even played any games the last few weeks, I’ve been working on the island.”
“Of course you have,” William said in a tone that told her he obviously didn’t believe her.
“I have been!” She hadn’t even touched Landasy Reality in weeks, aside from a few messages to the other players. The island was a big project and she wanted to make sure it was perfect. Most days she started after William went to work and didn’t stop except to get dinner ready before he got home.
Though he couldn’t see that. As much as she wished she could show him just how hard she was working, he almost never went into the virtual world except at work and a very few other occasions. For all he knew she was playing games all day. She couldn’t wait for the project to be finished, though. Once it was, she could start looking for her next project and see what she could get going.
She wondered if maybe it was time she got a real job. William couldn’t take care of her forever.
“Of course. Honey, it’s fine. If this makes you happy, I don’t mind letting you do it,” William said in a soothing tone that only made her feel worse.
Teresa sighed again and gave a nod, staring out the window at the buildings passing by. “Thank you.”
------
Teresa hummed and slowly adjusted the palm tree again, altering the curve just a bit more so it gave more shade, though still managed to look natural. Satisfied, she turned and made her way back along the beach.
The island was almost ready. The sand dunes, the palm trees, the hot tub, the pool, the waterfall, everything was gorgeous. Were it a real island, it would have been a resort all its own.
Of course, she still had a bit more work to do, the final polishing, adding minor features such as teleporting from item to item. Then there was setting up the privileges so only the buyer had the admin rights to adjust things, as well as reverting them if anything was altered or damaged. Setting up the communication system rights, applying proper filters and invisible walls so people couldn’t cause themselves any trouble.
But that was all the boring busy work that came at the end, and would only take her an hour or so to get right. She could do most of it in her sleep. So while she started adjusting the settings, she let her mind wander to the prior evening.
Maybe her mother was right. Maybe it was time she found a proper job. But this made her happy. She loved designing these islands, all of these different locations. Not to mention she’d spent so much money on all the different graphics and tools she used.
His money, she reminded herself. While her commissions had been more than enough to reimburse him for the investment, he was still the one who’d given her the initial money to purchase them. That was when her commission rates had increased dramatically. People were willing to spend a lot more on designers who supplied their own assets, rather than had to have them supplied by the company.
But in the end, she was just a designer. William used to joke she ‘worked for tips’ and sometimes she really felt like it was true. People were constantly trying to underpay her and there had been dozens of times where people had demanded she lower her rates since she charged too much. Plenty of times she had relented. It still hurt to know her time wasn’t that valuable.
Teresa had gotten far, far better at estimating how long each job would normally take her over the years, so was better at setting up the correct time frames and guessing how expensive it would be. Who knew? Perhaps in a few years she’d be getting even more clients and she could raise her rates. She’d finally be able to help support both of them.
Or she could get a job now, a real job. The pay per hour would be better as well as consistent. Her hands stopped while she stared at a small list of commands in front of her.
Was it worth giving up her happiness, her enjoyment, in order to bring in a consistent paycheck? She knew, in most cases, it was what people did. What they HAD to do. She’d met more than a few people online who were in that kind of situation, who had to put everything on the back burner so they could afford to keep surviving. Who’d ended up giving it all up in the end because they couldn’t do both. It was thanks to William that she didn’t have to do that. That she was able to keep working on something that made her happy. She would never not be grateful for it.
But maybe she should stop just being grateful and start actually trying to be useful. Her fingers wavered over the menu, slowly pulling back. Finally, she shook her head and started typing again.
Even if, for the time being, she was completely useless, she couldn’t give up this opportunity. There were thousands, possibly millions of people who would kill for this opportunity. A chance to do what makes them really happy. Even if work was a bit lacking at times, for now they could afford it. If she ever had to stop, William would let her know and then she would find a different job.
Until then, she’d keep trying her hardest and pushing forward. She would not let this opportunity go to waste.
Bubbling with new found dedication, Teresa focused entirely on the task at hand, tapping away on the menu. If she kept pushing her all forward and never gave up, things would get better. She hoped.