Snow lifted a pack of junk onto a brahmin that Fairview reserved for its caravans, taking one end of the pack as Sam took the other. The brahmin was young, but strong in a sinewy way. It had built muscle since it began carrying the burden of the caravan’s wares, always bound for Warden City. The other members of the caravan glanced in her direction and Snow pretended she didn’t notice. They were wary of the trouble she might bring and only Renner’s forceful persuasion secured Snow’s place among them.
There were a dozen brahmin in the caravan, each loaded with packs of junk for barter at Warden City. There were also two or three people assigned to each brahmin as guards. They were volunteers mostly, but some had joined the caravan to secure their interests. Mickey and Renner were among them, and were speaking with the head of another scavenging group.
Snow had joined the caravan for similar reasons. Volunteers got paid extra and it was a good excuse to visit the city, there usually weren’t many. And she’d have to join the caravan sooner or later, so she might as well join up now and get some experience.
Sam lifted another pack of junk onto a different brahmin nearby and Snow was impressed with how she could lift such a thing by herself. “It’s been a while since we’ve been to the city. I wonder if the Wardens are still celebrating their victory over the Brotherhood. Maybe they’ll have some food left over for us?”
“Maybe.” She said and checked the pack she had placed onto the brahmin, looking away from her friend to hide her doubt.
Two wardens were nearby, tossing a ball to each other. Out of their uniforms, they were like any other wastelander, but they were among the wardens sent to Fairview to recuperate from their injuries. They were the fittest of the group and recovered quickly, finding the energy for play, despite their lost limbs. One of the wardens had lost both of his legs, amputated just below the knees for fear of a spreading infection. The other lost only one of her feet, for the same reason.
The other wardens sent to Fairview weren’t as lucky. They remained stuck in a residence set aside for their care, which had been secured by the Wardens with a payment of food with promises of recurring payments for every warden that remained living. However, despite their town doctor’s best efforts, Fairview had neither the medical expertise nor the supplies to heal them completely. A handful of stimpacks had to be divided among the injured wardens just to keep them alive. Snow made the mistake of visiting them with Sam and saw the extent of their wounds. Even if they weren’t all cripples, most would be maimed for life.
They were the price the Wardens paid for victory and Snow couldn’t help but wonder, was their victory really worth their sacrifice? There were others like them sheltered around the other Warden settlements. Snow had heard it from a visitor who traveled from Madison on his way to Mariner territory to visit family. From a visiting warden, she also heard that the wounded they brought home from their campaign in the south numbered nearly two hundred in total, which didn’t include the wardens who had died in battle or were left behind.
Snow never learned exactly how many wardens had died in the fighting, the warden didn’t know either, but the warden blamed the coalition. The coalition had apparently abandoned the fight against the Brotherhood and fled home, forcing the Wardens to snatch victory from defeat. Renner had said it was all a part of a great game on a scale that Snow didn’t quite understand, but would determine Seattle’s fate. A continuation of the Chaos that once engulfed the city, now with another gang of raiders to contend with.
“Do you remember the last parade? When the Wardens helped the Castellans with their yao guai problem? I never saw so much roasting meat.”
“Neither did I.”
“And they let us have some. Just gave it away.” Sam threw her arms over the brahmin and buried her face into the pack hanging off the animal’s side. She took a deep breath and sighed sweetly, filled with remembrance. “I’d kill a yao guai myself if I could, then we could have ourselves a little party at the orphanage.”
Snow’s stomach grumbled and her tongue tingled for flavor. She had finished the small meal she bought for breakfast, but that had been hours ago. Unlike the others in the caravan, she couldn’t afford to pack a lunch for the trip. She had spent what little extra she could afford to help feed the children at the orphanage.
“Deathclaws have more meat on them.” Snow said, imagining how many portions could be cut from a fully grown deathclaw. As dangerous as the beasts were, they were meaty creatures. Or so she had heard.
Sam snorted with laughter. “Greedy, greedy Snow.”
Renner hobbled over, having injured her hip some time after their return to Fairview. “Are you girls ready? Check your guns before we leave.” She said, pulling a rusty revolver from her coat. It was something she acquired from an old safe she had found on a scavenging trip, and recently maintained due to recent scares involving dead raiders. Or whoever they were.
“All clear, Miss Renner.” Sam said, unlatching and twirling the cylinder of her revolver.
Renner huffed. “You stop calling me Miss Renner or I will pistol whip you. I haven’t been Miss Renner for decades.”
“Sorry, Renner.” Sam said with a pained smile.
“Better.” Renner nodded.
Snow pulled her revolver from her coat and showed it to Renner. “I’m good to go.” She repeated the spinning action Sam did with her own revolver, but the cylinder fell to the floor.
Sam and Renner helped her collect the bullets that fell out, but Renner grabbed the cylinder from Snow’s hand and placed two extra .32 rounds in the empty slots. “You’ve only got four bullets in your six-shooter. Foolish.”
“Sorry, I misplaced my other bullets.”
“Misplaced! How does someone misplace bullets?” Renner said, shaking her head as she stormed off to talk with Mickey. Shortly after, the southern gates of Fairview opened and the caravan moved towards Warden City.
Snow returned her revolver to the holster inside her coat, but rested her hand on the handle. Deep as they were in Warden territory, the caravan was safe from raiders, but she was still scared. Sam grabbed her free hand and held it as they walked.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine.” Snow said, but Sam knew her too well.
“You’re clearly not fine.”
Snow shook her head, but she couldn’t help but whisper to her friend. “I killed someone.”
Sam’s eyes went wide, but she remained silent as she looked over at anyone who might have overheard Snow’s confession. “Was it Nadya?” Sam whispered back. “How did you hide the body? If you need help, I can-”
“No!” Snow gasped, briefly garnering attention from anyone else who cared to look their way. “I meant during the scavenging trip north. When we were robbed? I shot someone.”
“That was you? Is that where you put your missing bullets?”
“A few of them, I guess.”
“So what’s the problem? They’re dead and you’re not. Happily ever after, the end.”
“I don’t know. The boy who tried to rob us, he was as old as I was. I think. What if he has people who went looking for him? We dumped his body in the lake, but there were witnesses. They must’ve heard the gunshots.”
“You’re already back home, the raiders wouldn’t dare go this far into Seattle.”
“And if they do?”
“Then we’ll gun down some more of them.” Sam said with a laugh. “There aren’t too many of them left, or so I’ve heard. One of the wardens we took in, he said that hundreds of the raiders died. Hundreds of them.”
“Maybe they’ll just stay home and tend to their wounded, like the Wardens are doing.” Snow sighed with relief and noticed a tension in her shoulders, which had begun to ease away.
“About that. The Wardens might start conscripting from among the settlements to make up for their losses. We’d be fine though, we’re too young.”
Snow recalled the glazed, open eyes of the boy she had killed and shuddered. But are we? Snow thought, but avoided saying aloud. Her friend was trying to comfort her, so she might as well play along.
“Mongrels!” Someone shouted near the front of the caravan and the entire column of brahmin stopped in their tracks. Barking resounded and the brahmin became restless, forcing several guards to ease the braying beasts.
“What’s going on?” Sam called out.
“Mongrels, girl.” Someone said, his eyes focused forward. “A pack of wild mongrels. Them fellows up front is gonna let them pass ahead. No need to take the risk.” Shots rang out from several guns, followed by dying mewls. “Or not. We could use the meat for Winter. Looks like someone got bit though.”
The encounter was a quick one, over as it began. Butchering the mongrels for transport took more of the caravan’s time than the actual killing of them. Snow and Sam helped secure the bits and pieces of the mongrels onto the brahmin in such a way that allowed them to drain of blood. It trailed along the road behind them as they continued moving along the long highway that ran throughout the city, staining the muddy snow on the ground with a disgusting pinkish-red.
Renner had been the one to get bit. Despite the pistol in her coat, she resorted to her baseball bat to save bullets. Fortunately, her second swing crushed the mongrels skull before it could take off her foot, having missed the first. The wound had slowed Renner considerably, however, and Snow took it upon herself to carry the old woman.
It was easy enough, Snow had plenty of experience carrying heavy packs, but it meant she wouldn’t be able to react quickly if the caravan encountered another danger on the road. But it was still best if it was Snow. Most of the other members of the caravan, who had the strength to safely carry Renner, also had better aim with their guns. Not that they’d need it.
The distance from Fairview to Warden City’s western gate was shorter than any scavenging trip to the north. Every step the caravan took carried them closer to the safest place in all of Seattle. The caravan stepped into the shadow of the city’s concrete walls and Snow looked up at the guards on top of it. The stink of over a thousand people wafted through the air, but they were all living in safety. If only Fairview could be so well-protected.
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“The smell is as bad as I remember.” Sam said, pulled her scarf over her mouth and nose. As if it could prevent her from breathing in the city’s stink.
“It’s not so bad.” Snow said, wishing she could do the same, but she needed both hands to hold Renner up on her back.
“Please, it’s horrible. All those people farting and shitting? Horrible.”
“Well, there’s safety in numbers aren’t there? That’s why we travel in caravans.”
Renner spoke up. “There’s safety in numbers, but only for the ones who don’t have to do any fighting.”
The caravan stopped at the end of a long line of other caravans. The gates were open, but wardens stood across the road with their weapons ready. The caravan at the very front turned away from the gates and walked off to the side to wait beneath the city’s walls. The next caravan moved forward, taking their place in line, but also moved off the road when a warden pointed to the side.
“They’re being turned away.” Renner said. “We’re not getting in either.”
Once it was Fairview’s turn, the wardens at the gate proved Renner right. Mickey was at the front and argued with a warden, until the warden turned his gun on him. Mickey raised his hands in surrender and led the caravan off to the side, joining the other caravans who were forbidden entry.
“Bring me to Mickey.” Renner asked. Snow trudged towards the man, with Sam following behind. When she got closer, she could see the redness in Mickey’s face, but it was his silence that showed her the depth of his anger.
Renner called out to the man. “Mickey, why did they turn us away?”
Mickey trailed a finger around the collar of his turtleneck sweater and breathed deeply. “Orders, that’s all they said. Turning away traders and not even giving them a reason. He even pointed his gun at me, can you believe that?”
Snow’s stomach growled loudly, audible to everyone nearby, and her cheeks heated as she blushed. “I’m starving.” She said.
“We should risk Mariner territory to get what we need.” The man behind Mickey said as he scratched at the scar on his crooked nose.
“With everything that’s going on? If we’re caught, the Mariners might take everything we have. Before or after they kill us.”
“Did ya tell them about the wardens that need feeding at Fairview?”
“Of course, but they didn’t care to listen. Might have to throw out the wardens we’ve got, can’t afford to feed them from our own stocks.”
“What happened to the food they promised?” Snow asked.
“I guess they’re keeping it for themselves.” Mickey shook his head. “We’ll rest here for a while, then we’ll go back. We’ve got some mongrel meat to bring home, better than nothing.”
The caravan seated themselves beneath the walls of the city, watchful of the other caravans. Snow placed Renner on the ground and seated herself beside the old woman. Sam sat beside Snow on the side opposite Renner.
“So what will happen to the wardens?” Sam asked. “Now that we can’t feed them.”
“Gonna have to drag them back to the city.” Renner said. “If they can’t work, then they’ll just be mouths to feed.”
“Will everyone have to go on hunts? If the city doesn’t open its gates to traders, we’ll have to find another way to get more food.” Snow said.
Sam squirmed beside her. “Maybe the wardens can help with that. They’ve brought their guns. If they can’t shoot, then maybe they can loan them.”
Snow suspected she was making excuses for the wardens, to keep them around at Fairview. She looked at her friend, who was avoiding her eyes. When Sam looked up and met her eyes, she blushed.
“Oh my.” Snow muttered, but didn’t press further. She would save that for another time.
“Please, my brother needs help.” A desperate voice called out.
“We ain’t got no doctors or anything of the sort. Sorry, try the Fairview folks over there. They’ve got themselves a doctor I think.” Someone else said.
Snow leaned forward to look at whoever made mention of her town. There was a man dragging a sledge behind him, which carried what must have been his injured brother. Following behind was a woman carrying a swaddled infant. They made their way over towards the Fairview caravan and Renner waved them over.
“Need a doctor? What happened?” Renner asked.
“It was the Brotherhood. Their metal men pushed us out of our home and did this to my brother.” The man pulled his brother’s shirt up, revealing bruises and a deep purple discoloration leading to his ribs.
“He might be bleeding on the inside.” Renner said. “You can come with us back to Fairview and see the doctor. He’s not actually much of a doctor, but he’ll keep your brother alive. For a price, of course.”
“I have things to trade. Not much, but I can also work.” The man began to say, but Renner raised a hand.
“That’ll be between you and the doctor. Now, I assume you’ll be needing a place to stay. Is that right?” Renner asked and the man nodded. “We’ve got some room to spare, but you’ll have to work for your food.”
“Of course.”
“But with the gates locked, that means no more scavenging. You’ll have to work with the hunters to pick off lakelurks who wander too far from their nests. Sometimes that also means using yourselves as bait to lure them close.” Renner said and Snow’s heart sank at the thought. They’d have to do the same, if there was no more scavenging to be done.
“I understand.” The man said, more resigned to his fate than enthusiastic. “There are others who came with us, the rest of our scavenging group.”
“Yes, same deal for them.”
“Thank you.” The man said, pure relief on his face.
Renner called over Mickey and introduced him to Fairview’s new guests. She told him about her deal, with Snow and Sam echoing their approval, but Mickey wasn’t happy. Regardless, Renner’s deal was a fair one for both the scavengers and for Fairview, and Mickey acknowledged that more hands were always useful in hunting lakelurks. When the caravan returned however, the others weren’t as understanding. Especially when they learned that the caravan returned with only a handful of dead mongrels, scraps compared to what they were expecting.
“We’ve got enough mouths to feed. Get out!” A man exclaimed to the agreements of many others. It took Mickey and several members of the militia on standby to prevent any violence.
Sam left to help the caravan unpack while Snow carried Renner to the clinic on the southside of Fairview, leading a handful of wounded scavengers. Settlers jeered at the wounded scavenger on the sledge. He was not awake for the insults, but they were hurled at him anyway. The brother who dragged him forward could only grimace in silence as a man spat at his feet. Eventually they reached the clinic, where Snow placed Renner on a bed. Beside her on the adjacent bed, was the unconscious brother of the man who introduced himself as Bari.
“And this is my wife, Valerie.” Bari said, placing a hand on Valerie’s back. Then he nodded to the child in her arms. “Our baby Rosie. My brother over there is Trentino.”
“It’s nice meeting you, the name’s Renner.” Snow and Sam also introduced themselves. “Best relax while you can, tomorrow the town will be expecting your folk to put their work in.”
“We’re no strangers to a bit of hard work.” Bari said with a confident smile. “We’ll do what needs doing.”
When the doctor treated the unconscious Trentino with a stimpack, Bari had to trade the last of his belongings. He was grateful, however, and Bari thanked Renner for speaking on his behalf. He also thanked Snow, even if she hardly did anything to convince Mickey.
“What happened to your home? If you don’t mind me asking.” Snow said.
Bari seated himself beside his brother. “Not much to say, the Brotherhood came in and took everything. Other scavenger groups got hit, so we should’ve known we’d be next sooner or later.”
“It’s the calm before the storm.” Renner muttered. “Things will get worse in the city. We best do what we can while we still have the chance.”
Snow agreed and left the clinic to see if she could help the caravan unpack, but stopped when someone yanked on her arm. She turned and was greeted by a familiar face looking up at her.
“You bring trouble wherever you go.” Nadya said, disgust twisting her face. “You skinny, stick-girl. I almost wish your parents didn’t abandon you. You need to be taught a few lessons in responsibility.”
Snow wanted to correct her, but the other girl knew that her parents hadn’t abandoned her. They had been killed by raiders, but Nadya insisted that she was just another abandoned orphan. As if she genuinely enjoyed reminding her of the family she used to have.
“And look at those rags you’re wearing. So baggy, but it can’t hide how awkward and thin your body is. It’s disgusting.”
Nadya placed her hands on Snow's chest and pushed at her. It wasn’t especially forceful, the girl was weak, but a leg tripped Snow from behind and she fell into the wet dirt. Mickey yelled in their direction, but Nadya kicked mud into Snow’s face and ran off before he could grab hold of her. Nadya’s friend and accomplice, Moose, followed close behind her. A lumbering pet brahmin to Nadya’s sly fox.
“What the hell was that about?” Mickey said as he helped Snow to her feet. “I oughta knock some sense into those two.”
“I’m fine.” Snow insisted and she was. Physically, she wasn’t hurt, only embarrassed. Mud clung onto the folds of her coat, a rough patchwork of greens her father had worn. But worse was the wet, slimy feeling soaking through her jeans, which her mother had finely sewn together. Her only change of clothes had been thoroughly soiled and tears threatened to escape her eyes. She’d have to wash them and hope they dried out before morning.
“Go home and get cleaned up. The caravan can unload our packs without us.”
“No, this is nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Snow said as she scraped away the muck from her clothes as best she could.
She walked past Sam, avoiding eye contact as her ears burned with shame, and tried to lift a pack off the brahmin that carried it. She had forgotten how heavy the packs were.
“Let me help.” Sam said and took one side of the pack as Snow took the other. Snow knew her friend could do it all on her own, but she was grateful that Sam humored her whim. She couldn’t do much, but Snow was good as an extra pair of hands at the very least.
Later in the night and with nobody to witness her, after hiding in the tiny shack she called home, Snow snuck through the town. She was careful to not wake anyone living close to the shore, but the extra care she took on account of her natural clumsiness made the hairs on her head stand on end. It felt as though a hundred needles were poking into her scalp. When she stripped and plunged into Lake Union’s waters, frigid from the cold, she couldn’t help but gasp from the sudden shock.
The waters might have been warmer during the day, but Snow couldn’t risk getting caught out if she wanted to bathe in peace. She felt the cold in her bones, enough to stiffen the joints in her fingers as she washed herself. It felt as though she could die from the cold, and who would be there to drag her from the waters? She was alone.
Snow might have cried then, but she was too tired and too cold for tears. She just wanted to go about her day without being harassed, was that too much to ask for? She wrapped her arms around her body and doubled over, almost screaming if not for her clenched jaw. Her teeth clattered in her mouth as she whimpered, but there were footsteps behind her. Snow whirled around, eyes wide and ready to throw a fist, but it wasn’t Nadya who had approached her in the night. It was Sam, waving at her with a bar of soap in her hand.
“Mama Mayhue said you might be needing this after I told her about you getting all muddy.”
Snow stood, front angled away, but she moved the arm that covered her chest to take the soap from her friend. “Thanks.”
Sam bent low to take Snow’s muddy clothes and submerged them into the lake. If the cold bothered her, it didn’t show on her face. She scrubbed the mud away between her hands as she asked, “Was it Nadya again?”
It was such a simple question, but Snow couldn’t help but grimace just from hearing it. “Yeah.” Was all she could say, it was the only answer she could’ve given that wasn’t another excuse.
“So it’s like you said. It was nothing.” Sam was impassive, but her silent rage was more dangerous than any of her outbursts. If Snow wasn’t careful, Sam might do something they might both regret.
“She caught me by surprise and I fell. That’s pretty much everything.” Pretty much. She left out Moose’s role in tripping her from behind as Nadya pushed her, but the memory was starting to make her angry too. It was a useless kind of anger. Maybe it was justified, but what would she do with it? Anything she did to Nadya, she would return her way twice over.
“You can’t let her get away with anything or else she’ll just do the same thing over and over again. You’ve gotta fight back.”
Snow bit back a reply, sudden cold anger sending a chill through her spine. If only she could be as brave and strong as Sam, then she could say the same. Snow took a deep breath in and let go of all of her anger with the next breath out. She would be better off staying away from Nadya and letting the girl forget about her. She noticed Sam frowning at her, unconvinced and looking at her face for any signs of deceit. Snow turned away and washed her face, hoping Sam saw nothing that would give anything away.