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Lament of the Slave
Chapter 39: Mess up feelings

Chapter 39: Mess up feelings

When I met the old librarian, my impression of him was that he was a native Castianan. Now I knew that wasn't true. It was unlikely that he was from the Sahal either, but I did not intend to inquire, even though I was curious.

"Anything else on your mind?" He asked, his previous enthusiasm gone. I blamed myself for it, but I could change his past as much as my own. So I thought about my next question, and since I couldn't shake the thought of slaves, it led me to my class and classes in general.

"I've been thinking for some time about what the system shows me when I look at someone. What I see is not people's class, is it?"

"It is, and it is not," he said, leaning toward me. "I wonder what you see, miss Grey when you look at me."

I didn't have to think about that, "Librarian."

"Like most people and quite right. I'm the Labyrinth City Librarian," he said.

His answer shocked me, not because of his class, but because I didn't expect him to say the full name of it to me just like that. My overall impression was that people were trying to keep information about their classes and skills hidden. I was no exception. Like them, I didn't want others to know more about me than they did, and they knew a lot already.

"What kind of librarian would I be if I tried to hide information," Mr. Sandoval said and laughed when he saw my gaze. "Besides, you told me about your mutations. It would be rude of me not to return a little of that trust."

"Thank you, I appreciate it," I told him immediately.

The old man nodded and smiled, "It's really refreshing to see someone your age behave politely, given what happened to you. Most people who come to the library are quite rude, especially seekers," he complained, but before I could ask him, why the seekers went to the library, he continued, "Back to your question. What the system shows you is very simplified information about the class. Rather, you could say which category it fits into, as its actual name and even purpose may, sometimes differ significantly from what you see."

"Okay, hmm... what do you see when you look at me?" I asked, wondering what people had actually seen, what the system had told them about me.

"[Slave]," he said.

Well, I can't say I wasn't a little disappointed, but I wasn't really expecting anything else.

"If you wanted to see more, you would have to have skills like [Identify], [Appraisal], [Pry] or similar," the librarian added.

I had doubted what the system was showing me for a long time, and Mr. Sandoval only confirmed it to me. I wasn't crazy, nor was my system glitching, as I thought might be possible because I was from another realm. No, it worked correctly, at least in that regard.

It was good to know that there were skills capable of telling me more about the others, though. But right now, they wouldn't be very useful to me, since I would have to sacrifice another for such a skill.

Still, I was curious, "How can I get them? Or...are they class skills?"

"They can be both class skills and general skills. [Identify] is the most common. People will get it a year or two after they got a class. All you have to do is look at the people around you. [Appraisal] is focused on objects and is difficult to get. You have to have good eyes, to know the quality of the objects, what it is made of, recognize flaws… I mentioned it because at a higher level, it can also be used to appraise people." he explained to me.

As it turned out, both skills were out of my reach for now.

"What about [Pry]?" I asked. If he hadn't mentioned it, I wouldn't have asked.

The librarian smiled, "All I know is that it exists. You have to ask the thieves how to get it."

Oh, I see. It wasn't a career I wanted to pursue, so this skill was out of the question too.

"No thanks, I don't even know where to find them," I laughed.

"Often, they'll find you without you wanting to," he smirked, his mood much better than it had been a moment ago.

"True," I said, and remembered the moment when one of them attacked me on the way from the pub, where I spent the evening with friends. Fortunately, he only took the money and disappeared, but this skinny thief was the reason I took self-defense courses.

"Mr. Sandoval, did you say you looked in the books for the origin of my mutations?" I asked, curious and at the same time worried about what he found on the pages of the books. The old man's eyes lit up. The energy and enthusiasm he had before were back.

"Well," he cleared his throat, rubbed his beard, and straightened up. "The two young ladies from the City Guards interrupted us at the most inopportune moment. So I based my search on what I saw. Ears, horns, tail, wings, and I compared your features with those of terrans."

"Wait, why with terran traits, I got the essence of beasts in the experiments!" I objected and tried to remember if I had mentioned it, hoping his search wasn't pointless.

Mr. Sandoval smiled, "I'm aware of that, but there are so many kinds of beasts that I had no idea where to begin. Terrans, although they hate to hear it, have their roots in beasts. Beastman is a derogatory term for them now, but they have been called that for thousands of years and not just because someone was trying to insult them."

I wonder if they evolved from beasts as humans evolved from apes. Darwin would love it here.

"...and did you find any?" I asked, and for clarification, I added, "I mean terrans like me!"

"Your wings are too generic, there is nothing on them that explicitly distinguishes them from others except for their location, and no terran has them on their lower backs," he said and paused. When I realized he was waiting for my answer, I nodded, unaware of what to say.

He looked at my wings, nodding, "Just how I remember them. No distinctive pattern, just red-ish feather ends. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong," he added, rather mumbling to himself.

His evaluation was correct but somehow unpleasant. Unfortunately, I could only nod. My wings did not stand out. I meant given the terrans with wings I saw in the city. The aviers had really impressive wings, and the one harpie I came across had beautifully colored ones.

"You left before I could ask you for more details. So if you can think of anything that could help…," said the librarian.

He tried not to push me too hard, and I appreciated it.

"I can't promise to share everything with you," I warned him, feeling a little uneasy.

He shook his head, "I don't even want to. Just what you feel comfortable with, miss."

I took a deep breath and thought for a moment, "The goal of this experiment, if I understood it correctly, was to give people the ability or, more precisely, skills that they allowed them to fly. I got [Flight], but I've never been able to rise from the ground. I still need wings for that, and my wings are too small and misplaced. Hmm...that is all."

They were misplaced, but I was grateful for how they looked and their placement. Other slaves had asymmetrical wings and often placed in worse spots than the loins. I shuddered at the thought of how they looked. Those were awful memories.

"Well, there is not much to go on," Mr. Sandoval said, his optimism and enthusiasm still unabated.

He pointed to my ears, "I have found only two terrans races with ears as big as yours. One is jerboa. These terrans have their origin in the rodent species. But your ears are more similar to fennox. They have a lot in common with kitsune, but unlike them, their fur is light fawn to almost white, and their ears are much larger. Just like yours."

"So you found their origin?" I asked cautiously, pointing to my ears, full of expectations and anxiety which gripped my heart.

The old man hesitated for a moment, "Can you tell me more about them first?"

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Why? Why did he want to know that first? I couldn't help but feel suspicious. Still, wanting to know more, I told him.

"My hearing is much better now. I mean, many times better. It's... it's annoying!" I complained and looked around. "That's why I love it here."

"I know," he said warmly, clearing his throat before continuing, "...so they have their origins in fennec foxes. These are most common in the north, in the former Terran Federation. Their levels can vary widely, but there is nothing exceptional about them, besides their hearing."

"Oh" I exhaled, a little disappointed with the amount of information.

"Well, the goal was probably to get a better hearing?" I added, my voice trembling a little.

"I found a mention in one of the books that among these foxes, there are very rare variants respected by fennox. Unfortunately, that's all I managed to find ... my library is modest, and not everything can be found in books," he said.

In my opinion, his library was amazing, that's why I was wondering if he was telling me everything, if he wasn't hiding something from me. I took a deep breath to calm down, and ease my anxiety and distress, thinking about what I had learned. After all, the librarian could be right, and these fennec foxes could have been the origin of my ears.

Well, it was a better option than the rodents.

"Your horns are more common than I thought. Many terrans have horns, deer-like horns have at least five of them, and even more beasts. Excuse me for asking, but is there anything special about them?" he inquired, fixing his eyes above my head, examining my horns. It was very uncomfortable as the look reminded me of that madman's expression when he studied my mutations. I had to remind myself where I was, that I wasn't locked in a cell in the basement.

Before the attack on the barracks, I would have been reluctant to tell him, and even though my regeneration was no secret now, I still hesitated to tell him. That is, until I realized I had told him myself my injured wing was still regenerating.

"The horns...they gave me a regenerative skill," I told him, my voice trembling.

[Unnatural Regeneration] saved my life several times. It brought me back to life after my heart stopped beating, exhausted by the changes my body was going through. It was just a guess, but I think I got [Never-Dying] because of my repeated resurrection.

The librarian thought and then nodded, "I'll look into it. It must have been a beast known for its regenerative abilities. That could be why they chose it."

"Why? Why are you trying so hard to figure out what beasts I'm made of?" I asked, finding his willingness suspicious, hoping the old man wasn't associated with a man behind Morton or someone like that. I dread to think what would happen if he was in contact with Dungreen, my former master.

"I like mysteries, miss. My hobby is solving puzzles found in dungeons and labyrinths recorded in books. Unfortunately, I never had a chance to see the real thing. So, how could I resist when one such mystery stepped right into my library?" He laughed, pointing at me.

So I was like sudoku to him?! I felt wronged and wondered if he thought of me as an object.

"That's what I'm to you, a puzzle?" I asked maybe a little too harshly.

"What? No...of course not!" he said in defense, confused by my tone.

Mr. Sandoval finally noticed there was something wrong with me and asked, "Are you all right, miss?"

I wasn't! My feelings were a mess. Talking about my mutations and their origin made me remember things I wanted to forget. With that, my anxiety, fear, and suspicion of others returned. Knowing what was happening to me, I tried to suppress my upset emotions, but it was hard.

"I'm sorry, it's harder for me to talk about this than I expected," I told the truth.

"We can stop," he suggested, and I considered doing so.

But when will be a better time?! After my emotions calm down? When will it be, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or in a month? No, I wanted to know more about my body! I couldn't run from it just because it brought me terrible memories.

I took a deep breath and shook my head, "No, go ahead."

The librarian nodded silently and looked at my tail which I still held tight in my hands now, "Such a big, bushy tail is something few terrans have. Yours most resembles a kitsune's. It's just a little bigger."

"I wouldn't rule out ratatoskrs, tanukis, or wolfkins either," he added.

Well, when the tail grew above my ass, it reminded me the most of a ferret's. I didn't compare him to other animals since then, so he could be right. Still, did the kitsune have poisonous tails?

I considered mentioning [Tail of Poison Empress]. It could be a huge clue, and it wasn't that big of a secret anymore. At least Roe Blackthorn knew about the poison, and who knows who else in the barracks saw me use it. Still, could I trust this old man?

In the end, my curiosity won.

"It's poisonous," I said, not telling him the exact name of the skill.

"Sorry, miss! What did you say?" The old man asked me, unsure if he had heard me well. I suppressed a smile because I would behave the same if someone told me her tail was poisonous.

"My tail is poisonous. I have a skill that allows me to release a cloud of poisonous gas from my tail. Even now, there is a small amount of it between his hairs." I said, raising my tail so that its tip was at eye level.

When I shook with him a little, I saw the horror in his eyes.

"Don't worry, I haven't poisoned anyone yet. Unintentionally," I added.

My attempt to poison the trio, which wanted to kidnap me directly from the barracks, did not work out, and I did not want to brag about using the poison instead of sleeping pills. It was weird, but his fear helped me get rid of mine, get rid of worries I had. He wasn't some kind of assassin with twice the level of me, just an old man with a passion for his hobby. If I growled at him with [Beast], he'd probably have a heart attack.

It took Mr. Sandoval a moment to calm down, then pointed to my tail, "Isn't it dangerous to touch it? [Poison Resistance]?"

"No, you won't be poisoned by touch. You must inhale the poison!" I explained to him, now much calmer.

He breathed aloud and leaned back in his armchair, relieved and deep in thought.

"Hmm, a cloud of poison released from the tail. I think I once read something like that," he said after a moment.

"Really?" I asked excitedly, leaning over him.

"It's been a few years. I have a good memory, but not that good. You'll have to give me time, miss Grey." he said as he tried to stay as far away from my tail as possible. When I realized that, I leaned back in my armchair, not wanting the librarian to really have a heart attack.

"Oh, okay," I nodded and hid my tail under the table. I didn't even have to think about it, and I knew it would be difficult for me to remember something I read years ago.

"Do you think you might know more tomorrow morning?" I asked, realizing that I was far too eager.

He laughed, "I'm as eager to figure it out as you are, miss. But I must admit you were right."

"About?" I asked.

"I'm tired and need to sleep. I can't be up another night," he added when he saw my confusion.

I couldn't help but be a little disappointed. For more than a year, I had no choice but to watch in horror as my body changed, unaware of what I was changing into. No matter how big madman Dungreen was, he never told me or gave me a chance to find out what essence he injected into my veins. Now there was a chance to figure it out, and I had to wait?!

It was so frustrating!

Disappointed that the old man didn't really find out much, I thought about what I learned from him. Basically, just that my ears can originate in fennec foxes. So I saw no reason to mention my eyes or mane, as they were even less noticeable mutations than others.

Even so, I thanked him, and when I left the library, I hoped that the next time I visited it, Mr. Sandoval would have more answers for me, and I will be more prepared to hear them.

I still had a few hours until my shift at Broken Heart, so the question was how to use this remaining time. Training? I could do that, recall the movements Razso had taught me, or experiment more with my skills, learn to control them more.

But something else came to my mind. Labyrinth. An ancient structure on which stood the whole city, place I wanted to dive into, and I had no idea where the fucking entrance to it was!

If I told anyone, they would laugh at me.

So I came up with a plan.

Hire Timmy. I know, a stupid plan, but he was a guide, and people asked him questions, even stupid ones. I was sure of that. The only downside was that I had to pay him, but the labyrinth entrance was not the only thing I wanted to ask. I had other places in mind.

So I went back to city hall, where my plan immediately failed. Timmy wasn't there, but in the city with another customer. When Enola offered me another guide, I remembered that the little wolfkin mentioned another terran who worked as one.

Her name was Ria.

I was speechless when I saw her, never seen anything so cute. Well, except for kittens and puppies. This little kitsune, who didn't even reach under my chest, looked adorable. Red fur, but white on the nose, under the chin, and on her paws ... I mean hands, big ears, puppy eyes, wagging tail was something I wanted to hug. Wearing something like dark red harem short pants and a light brown tank top, she had a bag slung over her shoulder, which was obviously too big for her.

"My name is Ria, Lady," she introduced herself, offering me her paw.

When I shook it, I had to hold back not to hug her.

"You can call me Korra," I told her.

"Okay," she nodded enthusiastically. Timmy would refuse, saying it's not professional. I almost laughed at the thought.

Taking her aside, I planned to ask her about the labyrinth out of earshot of the majority in the lobby, but I didn't get a chance.

"You have a beautiful tail. Not even my mom's that big," she told me before I could ask her. I was immediately drenched in a cold sweat, realizing what could happen if she hugged him.

"Sorry," I thought to my tail and immediately interrupted the flow of mana into it. I'd rather suffer a little than hurt this bundle of cuteness.

"Oh, thank you, Ria," I smiled and squatted beside her. "You know what, if you're a good girl, I'll let you hug him."

I found it a better solution than to turn her down when she asked me if she could hug him.

Her eyes lit up, and she nodded, "I will. Is it as soft as Lia?"

"Who is Lia?" I asked her, hearing the name for the first time.

"My tail. Mom says it's childish to name my tail, though," she said, and her ears dropped dejectedly.

One of my friends called her boobs The Twins, while my ex-boyfriend called his dick Lil' John. Naming body parts seemed strange to me then, but ever since I had a tail, I've been thinking about it as him.

"Adults do it too, Ria. I call mine Sage," I confided, saying the name out loud for the first time.