Chapter 10: Part 3
They say history got a nasty habit of repeating itself. Chris frowned at the thought. Should he kill her now? Morphing into an abomination, killing your own friends, denied of eternal rest even though her spirit was lost — he didn’t want her to feel what Lilia felt. Killing her now would be one less evil he had to worry about later.
But her bright, crimson pupils reminded him of her. Chris couldn’t bare to raise his steel against this girl, against this demon. Deciding her life wasn’t his choice to make.
“Awaken?” she snorted. “Whatever you mean by that word?”
“Do not play the fool with me now,” he responded strong and with authority. “Let me see your eyes.” He tapped the space beside him.
“Y-you do not need to concern yourself with me.” Cecilia clutched her bandaged shoulder. “I can handle myself just fine.”
“I will be the judge of that. Now sit.”
“No.”
Christopher rose, brushing the dirt off his pants. “Does your stubbornness knows no end? I know no apology can absolve my sins. But can you give me time to make penance for them? When all that is needed to be done is done, my life is yours. I swear on my name, and whatever is left of my honor.”
“Why? So you can die with redemption in your heart? Never!”
“I do not forget those lives I have taken. Would you like to hear their names one by one? No? I assumed so. I cannot be bound by this guilt. I believe all of those deaths have a purpose. And that purpose must thrive, no matter how minuscule it might be. I will apologize, yes, but no longer will I grieve.”
“It’s too late! Your apology won’t bring back the dead! Your apology won’t bring back my mother!” she exclaimed, swinging her arm in anger.
Those same words again. Several times already, he heard them, coming out from different mouths. But he would not falter now.
“Yes, that is true. But if I let the unrealized dreams of the dead shackle me, how can I move on? I have already lost too much, taken too much. Stopping now would only do the dead injustice.”
Cecilia descended to his eye level. “So? That does not make you any less guilty.”
“I know.” Christopher returned a soft stare. “That is why I want you to look at me carefully. And when the time is right, judge me.”
He didn’t expect to gain her trust and forgiveness that instant, but he wanted her to know that his remorse was sincere.
Cecilia looked away. “You ask much. More than I can give.”
“As you say. But know this: Those who have awakened have no place in Scaldus. What of soon to be others like you? A horrible fate awaits them. Do you not want see a time when a man’s race and beliefs would not discredit him?”
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“You suggest we revolt then? You would guide us to our deaths like shepherd lambs!”
Christopher shook his head. “No. Hatred begets hatred. And violence demands more violence.”
“Then what are you suggesting? You speak in puzzles.”
“Have you not questioned yourself why the Order of the Divine left the labyrinths untouched for so long now? Why they left it in the hands of adventurers?”
Cecilia crossed her arms, turning the other way. “Why?”
“I only realized now, thanks to your explanations, but labyrinths are much like this town. These walls are our bane! Marrieta’s Celestian knights and Exquisitors are powerless inside! And what does that tell you? Yes, the labyrinths were created by your God!”
Uncrossing her arms, she looked back to him with both eyebrows raised. “You speak in nothings.”
“So I do. But pay my ramblings no mind. Soon you will realize what I meant in full.”
Chris turned and stood on the other side of the hallway. Invoking his [Inventory], he brought out a leather canteen and drank, then poured the rest of the water on his face. Fighting that wyrm head on wasn’t the best decision, but he didn’t want to leave it for Cecilia. Though this town mirrors a labyrinth, the monsters do not respawn. It was more like those monsters they encountered had a reason for being there.
“Then I want to know one thing.” Cecilia spoke as he was undressing. “If you knew what you did was wrong, why do it? Answer me honestly. Please.”
First time he had seen her act so meek, and it felt all the more satisfying.
Chris inhaled deeply. “Because it was the mantle given to me.”
“And you played the part like a puppet? You disgust me even more. Have you no pride at all? No, forget it. Just hold your tongue, lest it slip and reveal more of your cowardice. It was my mistake to see you in a better light for a moment.”
He frowned, taken aback by her reaction. Was she just looking for a reason to hate him? Save for his mother, all of the woman in his life had given him nothing but trouble.
Chris included her in that list as he laughed a little inside. His mind was clear now; devoid of the darkness that clouded his thoughts moments ago.
“You know, you can be cute if you want to. Smile more and frown less, remember?”
Let’s not forget those knee-sock. Chris even bought her a pair and saved it in his room for imaginary purposes.
Cecilia didn’t reply, only continued straight upstairs, but he was able to catch a hint of her smile in that darkness. It would take time to mend the wound in her heart. There was much he needed to do.