Stepping into the gateway, we found ourselves in a faithful reproduction of the arena I was first summoned into. Torches lined the columns, but behind the columns was just the usual stone walls. Up on the raised stage, a single large kobold stood holding a hatchet in one hand, and had a buckler strapped to the other. There was no slime to be seen.

  It is hiding somewhere? Well, whatever, slimes are throwaway monsters anyway. We’ve literally just been kicking them into walls once and killing them.

“Lola, keep on the lookout for the slime. Kyuu, since we have the space, both you and Lola should stand behind the kobold. Let’s take down this kobold quick and then hunt the slime.”

Nodding in agreement, the three of us rush towards the lizardman, two of us flanking wide around the creature. By time I had noticed I was stepping on the slime mimicking a block, it was too late. My foot stopped moving suddenly and I fell face first into the stone floor at the speed of sprinting. Trying to put my hands out to break my fall, my right hand holding the gladius collided awkwardly against the floor, breaking two fingers. The sword clattered pointlessly a few feet away from me. Desperately, I started kicking my feet against the slime, but either my strength was too low, or its sliminess was too potent. I couldn’t break free. Still holding my left foot, it grabs the kicking right foot and locks it in place as well. I look down at it in a panic.

This thing is the size of a barrel! The ones in the tunnels were smaller than a soccer ball!

“Oi! Lola! I’m caught by this thing! I need an assist!” Turning my head in her direction, I hear a scream. Reena is spurting blood out of where her left arm used to be. Turning pale, she is backing away from the kobold which has it’s hatch raised above her.

“Lola! Forget what I said, help Reena!”

At the end of the day, watching some girl get murdered seems more like a nightmare than a dream. Furthermore, I’ll beat the slime myself. All is good in the world. Reena and Lola will finish off the lizardman, I’ll beat the slime, and Lola will heal Reena’s arm. Good plan great plan.

I tried stretching my arm to get to the gladius, but it was too far away to reach. I tried rolling over so I could sit up to punch at the slime, but it kept my feet locked in place, so I couldn’t roll over either. I tried doing a pushup and kicking back with both of my legs, but it didn’t do anything except hurt my broken fingers. The slime continued pulling my body into its gelatinous mass, covering up to my waist. I struggled a little more in vain to get to my gladius. Apparently, I really will need help to get free. I turned back towards the kobold fight in time to see Lola cast her healing magic on Reena, but all it did was stop the blood flow. Lola then took a hatchet to her forehead. She dropped to the floor like a ragdoll and Reena screamed in rage. Standing up suddenly, she rushed the kobold and sidestepped a swinging hatchet. She plunged her dagger into it’s chest, twisting sharply as she pulled it out and stabbed it back into into the kobolds throat. It dropped the hatchet and disappeared in a glowing light. Without pausing for breathe, Reena kicked the hatchet towards me, heaved Lola’s lifeless body over her remaining shoulder, and hurried to the opposite side of the arena towards a stone transfer gate. She ran through without a word.

The slime had covered my body up to above my stomach. My legs and hips could bend inside the slime, but I couldn’t kick my way out. The hatchet slide over to me, and nearly hit me in the face, so I grabbed it and tried hacking behind my back at the slime. The hatchet just bounced off of the slimes body. Realizing the hatchet wasn’t working outside the slimes body, I tucked my arms to my chest, and had them absorbed into the slime before my head. At the last possible moment I took a deep breathe, and my head was submerged into the slime.

So you can move inside enormous slimes. Not very well, of course. Their consistency inside their bodies is a little thicker than water, so if you’ve ever tried to do an underwater kung fu fight reenactment, you can sort of grasp what it is like. Every time I tried to use my legs to position myself for leverage, the slime would shift its shape and knock me out of stance. Despite that, I held the hatchet in both hands and started hammering away at the inside wall of the slime. Outside the slime, the room was tinted with a hazy green color. Standing around five feet away was a boy with a chili bowl cut cheering me on. I could hear him, but it was muffled like I was underwater. I kept struggling, but exerting yourself without oxygen quickly forces your body to shut down. Chili bowl was starting to frown as my movements slowed.

This dream kind of sucks. Suffocation is a horrible way to die.

Getting fed up with my weakening attempts, Chili bowl pulls a sword out of nowhere and stabs gently into the slimes body. It explodes in a flash of light and I crumple to the ground.

“BOOOORRRRIIIINNNGGG!!! Kyuu! You’re too pathetic! Done in by a slime? Are you kidding me? You’re supposed to be my Hero, you know? How could you not know that hatchet was a gift from the Slime General to the Kobold General for their continued coexistence? Representing that bond of friendship, that hatchet couldn’t possibly ever be used to damage a slime! It says so right there on its description!”

I just coughed some mucus out in response. How the hell was I supposed to read the status of the damn thing? And what kind of logic is that? If the status didn’t say “does not work against slimes”, how would I have known anyway? At any rate, I was already being eaten alive when it fell into my hands.

“I’m sure its difficult for you god-like figures to understand, but us mere mortals don’t possess such convenient abilities. I can’t read the status of anything but myself.” I only said this because of the convenient mapping skill Chili bowl already gave me. I might get lucky.

“Ehhh?!? You don’t!? Being an ant among gods must sure be exhausting. Very well, I’ll let you do that too. But this is seriously the last time I help you. If I make you too strong, it won’t be fun to watch you struggle.”

With that, another bright orb of light shot out of his mouth and hit me directly in the forehead. I was struggling to stand up at the time, so it just knocked me off my feet again.

Here goes… Analyze!

Instantly, I felt the magic leave me as everything in the room had little tool tips appear over top of them. I immediately look at Chili bowl in the hopes of figuring out a more convenient name for him.

[Name: //?????

Class: //?????

EXP : //?????

Age: //?????

HP: ??? MP: ??? STR: ??? AGI: ??? VIT: ??? INT: ??? MND: ???

Spells: //???

Equipment: Godsword (Instant death attack/Instant death magic/MP battery/Unbreaking Edge/MP Recharge/100% Loot Table Drop/Dimensional Blade)]

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

What a broken sword. I wonder if GMs in online games have weapons like this?

“Since your name is a bunch of question marks, I’m going to call you Enigma. Does that sound good?” At my comment, Enigma just started laughing. Admittedly, speaking so informally with a god is almost certainly an existence erasing degree of impertinence.

“Whatever you want. Try not to be such a loser. I won’t be saving you again.”

With that, he was gone. I looked down at my clothes and tried to flick away some of the sludgy residue still stuck to me when I noticed a small pile of status windows at my feet.

[Slime ball: A sticky ball of slime.]

[Slime core: A monster core useful for Monster Breeders and Tamers. Contains the soul and body of an obedient Slime”.]

[Slime stone: A solidified chunk of slime residue. When ignited, it can burn for several hours without extinguishing.]

[Slime crystal: A crystal that is extremely conductive for both heat and electricity.]

[Slime battery: MP battery. A magical construct that can be used to store magic for later use. Anyone can charge the MP, but only //Unset can use the stored magic. 0/5000 MP stored.]

This battery! I can use it to cast my time magic! And what is up with this loot drop? That is way too much stuff for one boss!

I pick up the Slime battery, and //Unset became ‘Kyuu’. The slime core was heavy, but it seemed like it might be worth some money, so I carried It too. Realizing I was leaving my Gladius and Hatchet, I look around for the sword. I quickly find the status window, and see it was only a few feet from me.

Eh, so close but so far, eh gladius?

Eh? Across the arena, there is another status window.

[Leather bag: A small messenger bag for carrying sweet loot from a dungeon. Currently owned by //Deceased.]

Damn… Lola’s messenger bag. I’m not necessarily surprised she didn’t survive taking an ax to the head, but she was a sweet girl and deserved better than that dog’s death. My dream is pretty twisted.

Thinking Reena might want the bag, I grabbed it, and then used it to carry all my ‘sweet loot’ to the stone Gateway. When I passed through it, I was in another tunnel similar to the first time I passed through the Gateway.

This must be the second floor? How do I get back to town? Is the Gateway behind me connected to the town, or the boss room?

I stepped through the Gateway and I found myself standing back in the town plaza. Looking out at the people running around and the vendors at their stalls, the overwhelming number of status windows barraged me before blinking out. I checked my own status and found I was out of MP.

Oh, I leveled to 4 with that fight. No new skills, but higher MP, INT, and MND. They seem to raise pretty consistently. Regardless, I need to start storing MP in my battery. Not like I need it for anything other than mapping or analyze anyway. If I fully recover my MP every hour, and I have a maximum of 40, I’ll need to charge the battery how many times to get 3000 MP? If 100 hours would get me 4000, then 50 hours would get me 2000… right in the middle of both would be 75. So 75 full hours of MP recovery to cast one spell. That’s rough. I’ll just have to get started as soon as I can.

“You!!! What are you doing outside the Labyrinth?! You need to be in there earning me money to pay off your debt!”

Great, this guy again.

“After Reena, Lola, and I finished off the first boss, we got separated. Have you seen them? I will certainly need their help.”

“What? You’re such a weakling you need THEIR help? Well, no matter. The useless bitch died and I just sold the other one to a brothel. It was pathetic, how she begged me to pay for a resurrection. As if I’d waste 5,000 leet for that weakling.”

“You sold Reena? Why?”

“After combining her leet with the bitch, she almost had enough to buy off her own debt. So to make some extra leet myself, I sold her for her virginity. She won’t get paid until the morning to finish off her debt, but the brothel will get to sell her as a special product all night. If she survives, maybe she’ll want to join your party again in a few days!”

Wow… I think I might kill this bastard. Did I dream this guy up so I could have someone to hate?

“How clever…. If the girls aren’t coming back, then I really need to get back to fighting in the dungeon. The Kobold General dropped this hatchet. I’m going to continue using it, but I’ll leave it in the warehouse when I’m done with it.”

“You idiot. Don’t talk to me like I don’t own you and everything you’ll ever find! If I ordered you to kill yourself, you’d do it! Now shut up and go!”

With that, the Owner stormed off. I quickly activate Analyze and his name and class flash for an instant before vanishing.

His name is Ian, and he is a level 8 Brawler. So I just need to be higher than that for next time.

Once he was gone, I went down into the vendors and looked for a place to sell off the drops from the slime. The Slime ball was almost worthless, but the Slime Stone was useful for a long-lasting torch for some of the darker floors of the labyrinth. The Slime Crystal was surprisingly expensive, since it can be used in magic devices as a conductor. 5 leet for the ball, 100 leet for the hatchet, 300 leet for the stone, and 6,000 leet for the crystal. Combined with the 850 leet that I had from the first floor, I had obtained 7,255 leet. I opted to keep the Core on the off chance I could learn how to use it and have a slime companion.

Finally, checking my status, I saw I was still in Reena’s party, so I used my party sense to track her down. When I found her, she was ugly crying while begging her new master to resurrect Lola. The new master was a middle aged portly woman with a sympathetic look on her face.

“Please Adell! I don’t care how much debt I have to take on! Please!”

“Reena… it doesn’t matter how much debt you take on. With only one arm you’ll never pay it off. Your first time is pretty much all anyone will pay for with a skinny little girl like you.”

“How much for her slave contract?”

“Big brother! You survived! I’m so gla…” Reena was cut off by the portly woman.

“She owes 800 leet still, and I paid an additional 500. You want her?”

“Yes. How do I transfer money to you?”

“If both parties agree to the terms, it happens automatically.”

Ah… the merchants didn’t seem to do anything either. Convenient.

“I’ll buy out Reena’s contract for 1300 leet.”

“Done.”

“I release Reena from slavery.”

“Wa… what!? Thank you!” She cried as she ripped the metal collar from her throat. It came off easily.

“Now where is Lola? I have another 6955 leet. Is that enough to save her?”

Reena quickly hugged me and started running into town at a full sprint. When I didn’t immediately follow, she turned around and started yelling.

“Kyuu! This way! Get your ass in gear!” I followed her to a huge building with stained glass and vaulted ceilings. She zigzagged down some hallways and to a room in the very back of the building. On a raised alter laid Lola, the blood wiped clean from her face.

“She was level 5 before the boss fight and died before either of them were beaten, so the fee should be 5000 leet. Pay the alter!”

So I did. What a game-like feature! There wasn’t a cleric or anything, you just paid money to an alter and it resurrected your party-mate. She sat up and breathed in deeply almost immediately. She looked around and found Reena’s eyes.

“The Owner actually paid!? I can’t believe it!”

“Of course not, sis. He’s a stingy bastard. Apparently our big brother made a bit of money from the boss slime, because he bought my freedom and brought you back to me.”

“How much do you have left to pay on your contract?

“Let me check… um… 1525? Strange, I don’t have any of my reserve leet.”

“Ah… sorry. That’s my fault. I borrowed it all in an attempt to pay off my contract so I could form a new one to save you. But the bastard sold me to a brothel.”

“I can’t go back to him… he’s awful.”

“I agree to give 1525 leet to Lola to free her from her slavery contract.” I said as I willed the money to her.

“Eh!? I accept!” Immediately, she tore the collar from her throat like an animal.

“Good, now that you can both do whatever you want, would you mind doing me a favor?”

“Of course!”

“I need to keep leveling up in the labyrinth, and I need your help charging this Slime battery. How much MP can you regenerate an hour?”

“30.”

“20.”

“3000 divided by 90 is… 300 divided by 9 is… 100 divided by 3. 33 and a third. Okay, assuming we level up more, sometime in the next two days, or 33 hours from now. Let’s get back to the second floor tomorrow morning.”

[Name: Kyuu of Reena’s Party

Class: Level 4 Time Wizard

EXP : 125/200

Age: 15 (29)

HP: 10 MP: 40 STR: 10 AGI: 10 VIT: 10 INT: 13 MND: 13

Spells: Anchor Moment (10 MP), Recall Moment (3000 MP)

Equipment: Chipped Gladius (+4 stabbing/slashing), Slime Battery (0/5000 MP)

Leet: 330

Debt: 2,000,000]