And then it was Christmas Eve.
In the rush of last minute preparations, details overlooked or not thought of, and the general bustle of putting Operation North Pole, as it had become known, into action, Paul found he hadn’t had the time, or the inclination really, to talk to Inari about Kate. He’d barely even had time to mention the neglected graveyard and it’s sole occupant. Who, Inari informed him, was Lady Norita, a former flower arranger and miko of noble birth and uncertain temperament, who’d been sent to the temple by her family after punching her would-be suitor hard enough he’d broken off their arranged marriage once he regained consciousness. Inari had chuckled when regaling him with the tale, despite the centuries past. Paul got the definite impression she’d liked Lady Norita. He forbore from mentioning exactly what sort of ghost she’d been.
Paul had checked on the little Ginkgo tree during the day, and found it in a ring of melted snow, looking positively glowing with health. So he decided to leave it well enough alone, although he resolved to mention it to the cat girl, or neko, Aki-san who worked at the local plant nursery. He figured she’d be able to tell if it truly was doing alright. Gardening really wasn’t his strong suit.
Major Yagi and the cadre of JSDF volunteers who’d helped wrap the presents, were filing into the courtyard when Paul returned. Dusk was already falling, despite it only being mid-afternoon technically, and as the last of the young men and women bowed respectfully at the Torii gate, the foxfire lanterns lit themselves without fuss, filling the whole place with multicoloured light, and a chorus of murmured soft sounds of appreciation and awe.
Aimi-chan appeared from one of the shadows, and slipped through the crowd to Paul, clinging to his arm with a smile on her face. Paul looked down and patted her arm.
“It’s pretty isn’t it?”
“It is Paul-san. Everyone here is so happy! I can feel it, like hot chocolate warming me from inside.”
“Mm.. that’s a good idea… I’ll just go put a pan on...”
“No need, Shoko’s already got one set up.”
“Oh.. perhaps I should go see if she..”
“Paul-san, maybe you should rest and enjoy it. You’ve worked so hard after all.”
“But..”
“If you start cooking, what with all the people here, you won’t get out of the kitchen until everything is over and everyone has gone home.”
Paul gave Aimi-chan a hard look, making her squirm.
“Ok, did Inari put you up to this?”
“Mayyyybe… she might have mentioned to me that you should take it easy and enjoy the evening.”
“Riiight. Ok then, if she wants me to take it easy, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“Good! Whatever you want, I’ll fetch it, as long as you promise not to stir from that bench over there by the brazier.”
Paul raised an eyebrow at the very specific location, which gave the perfect view of the courtyard… and the ‘coincidence’ that ‘someone’ had lit a brazier by the bench, so a person sitting there wouldn’t even need to move because of the cold.
Clearly Inari was up to something. However, Paul decided to go along with it for now.
As he sat, watching the proceedings, Major Yagi gathered the men and women who’d volunteered to spend their off-duty hours helping, around the base of the tree and the heap of presents underneath it.
The carefully stacked pile of colourfully wrapped presents, each with an origami fox-mask and thumb-sized silver cylindrical mana generator attached, was almost high enough to reach the lower branches of the tree, which were high enough that Paul could walk underneath without fear of snagging.
From out of the main hall strode Inari and Kiko, both clad in long cloaks of grey wool, and both unmistakably wearing the aura of a Goddess. Paul wondered if any of Kiko’s friends would recognise the shy, hesitantly introverted, shrine maiden she had been, in the confident and self-assured young Goddess she had become.
Certainly her cousin, Masami Kobe, who ran the P.R campaign, seemed to be bewildered by the transformation, and she’d been here for most of it.
Paul shook his head, shaking out the wool gathering, and paid attention to what was going on. Inari and Kiko had paced around the perimeter of the heap, marking a faintly glowing circle in the snow, and had now taken up position either side of the tree and the presents. Paul frowned in thought, realising that they were using a modified version of the same containment spell they’d used on the beach weeks ago to turn Katsu back.
He supposed it made sense, they were going to be channelling a lot of power to invoke all of the masks at once. It probably would be a good idea to contain any spill over and not accidentally invoke anything else.
The gathered throng fell silent as Inari and Kiko raised their arms and chanted in some archaic language that Paul rather thought was probably proto-Japanese, or possibly no earthly tongue at all.
Abruptly they brought their arms down in unison, despite not being able to see each other, and the circle around them and the tree flared brightly. For a moment nothing happened, and then, like smoke rising from a just-lit bonfire, the blueish transparently smoke-like forms of the messenger foxes began to rise.
Through the branches of the tree they rose, twisting and twining, wraith-like, with the presents securely held in their mouths hardly even seeming to brush against the pine needles. Faster and faster, thicker and thicker the column of ghostly figures rose and grew, until it seemed to be one solid tornado-like mass of translucent blueness studded with brightly wrapped boxes...
Then, from the top, around the golden glowing beacon star, the messenger foxes spread outwards like an inverted stream of water being poured onto the ground, individual foxes scattering in all directions, shooting like comets across the sky to every compass point.
For long minutes, the mass of presents and foxes poured upwards and outwards across the sky, until the last few at the bottom trickled up through the tree and were gone on their way to where ever the spell took them. Delivering presents to whichever yokai children throughout the prefecture best suited whatever they carried.
Paul still had no idea how that spell worked, as it seemed to require a degree of omniscience. Which is why Inari, who did know, was the one doing the invoking with Kiko’s help. Paul rather suspected that it was all to do with the difference between mere magic, or techno-magic, and actual genuine Divine Power. The raw power was about the same, but it operated on a whole different plane of reality, one he knew nothing about.
As the last messenger fox and it’s precious cargo vanished into the distance, Inari and Kiko took a step back, as one, and broke the circle. Spontaneously a cheer went up from the crowd, and as Kiko blushed, Inari turned and bowed at the laughing, cheering soldiers. Paul couldn’t hear what she said, but he could read her saying ‘thank you’ at least in part.
Thinking the show to be over, he started to rise, only to stop as Kiko approached him. He sat back down as she stopped in front of him, suddenly noticing that the self-effacing quiet young researcher and miko was nowhere in evidence, replaced by the commanding presence of the Goddess in front of him, as she spoke in ringing tones.
“Paul Holmes… in my research of English Christmas traditions, I have come across one I had not heard of before. Namely, the Lord of Misrule. Have you heard of it?”
Paul raised an eyebrow, and raised his voice so that the waiting circle of soldiers could also hear him.
“I have, somewhat...”
“It appears that in this tradition, one person is appointed by popular acclaim to be crowned ‘King of Christmas’ and to rule over the festivities.”
Kiko held out her hand, and someone from within the circle handed her a wreath of ivy, decorated with golden stars and tiny jewel-like baubles.
“Paul Holmes, by popular vote, you are anointed as King of Christmas… three cheers!”
The waiting soldiers, who were evidently in on the scheme, cheered as Kiko ‘crowned’ Paul, and then four rather beefy fellows laid hands on him, and hoisted him laughing onto their shoulders, carrying him off as they followed Kiko.
From his vantage point, Paul looked around for Inari, but didn’t see her as they headed for the main hall, and then around it...and there in the covered courtyard behind it, was laid out a feast that would have had Dickens reaching for his quill and Bacchus biting his knuckles in envy.
Although the covered area wasn’t technically a hall, it was most definitely decked with boughs of holly, among many, many other decorations… a fire-pit ran down the middle of the stone flagged space, upon which three whole hogs were roasting, and that was the least of the feast, as the robust looking army-issue tables almost groaned under the weight of food.
By the tables and benches stood what seemed like everyone Paul knew, or had met. At a glance he could see Tatsuo and Katsu, with Katsumi beside her looking confused. At another table stood Suzue and Moeka, along with the rest of their band. Paul hadn’t even known they were in town!
Jiao and Shoko came running up, dressed in matching holiday finery of red kimonos trimmed in white faux-fur and patterned with white and silver snowflakes. Laughing they grabbed his hands, as the soldiers lowered him down, and gabbing away about who knew what, they urged him forward, leading him up to the dais, upon which was placed what could only be described as a throne, fit for Santa-san himself… and next to that stood Inari, dressed in a modest maids uniform in Christmas colours, not unlike the girls’ kimonos.
Paul raised an eyebrow at that. Inari bowed her head, and as the crowd hushed, spoke.
“It is this one’s understanding that during the Feast of Misrule, the highest shall serve the King as lowest. Is that not so?”
“I.. believe it’s something like that, yes.”
“Then, how may this one serve you, master...”
Paul’s lips twitched as about a dozen different answers sprang to mind… and then grinning he turned and spoke.
“How may you serve me? Why.. how better than by being yourself!!! Screw old Traditions, today we make new ones!”
The laughter was uproarious, although he rather fancied he saw a look of mingled relief and exasperation on Inari’s face…
Paul held up his hands, getting the throngs attention and making a patting gesture, as he lowered them, requesting silence.
Once it was quiet, he spoke, projecting his voice so those at the back could hear.
“Friends, my good friends, family and loved ones… I admit, you fooled me. I had no inkling of what you were about. And I am deeply touched… but then most of you have probably thought I wasn’t quite right in the head from time to time anyway.”
Paul paused as the laughter rolled around the space.
“Truthfully, I am deeply moved by this, more than you probably guessed I would be. I am so very glad you are all here and cared enough to go to all this effort.”
From beside him, Inari spoke up.
“It’s our way of saying thank you for all the efforts you have gone to Paul-san… without which, this would be a very different time indeed.”
Paul shrugged.
“I think we all worked equally hard to bring about that change… and on that note, I have but one more proclamation to make as King of Christmas and Lord of Misrule. As ancient Tradition dictates, let us all eat, drink and be merry!!”
The cheer threatened to raise the rafters, and rattled the boughs of holly.
Paul grinned, and sat on the utterly Christmas-y throne, finding it surprisingly comfortable. He snagged Inari by the wrist, and gently pulled her down, so she ended up sitting on his knee with a giggle.
“You know I’m supposed to be serving you, right?”
“Oh hang that a nonsense for a minute… thank you Inari. Whatever clouds of depression were hanging around me have been completely blown away by this. I haven’t felt this cheered in… well a long while.”
“Just spreading a little of that Kurisumasu spirit!”
“Well, I think I like it better than Christmas… I wasn’t kidding though when I said I was completely blind-sided. I didn’t have a clue you were up to something even. Well done.”
Inari wriggled with pleasure at Paul’s praise.
“You have no idea what lengths everyone went to to do this. Everyone was in on it, and worked to keep you distracted and busy enough you wouldn’t notice the preparations. The last few days there were dozens of families all over the town cooking dishes for this feast. Which the army smuggled in along with the presents as Kiko and I kept a highly specific ‘go somewhere else’ spell running to hide it all as everyone pitched in to get it all ready”
“I’m impressed all over again… that sounds like a lot of work for everyone, all to say thank you to me?”
“Yes, well, and to party after all our work.”
“Hmm, I bet it had more to do with the latter than the former.”
Inari frowned at him slightly.
“People are truly grateful towards you Paul. You’ve changed everyone's lives immeasurably for the better, why would they not be grateful for that?”
“Oh, I’m not saying… well, what I am saying is that I don’t think I did that much. Just… I dunno, started the ball rolling.”
“A ball that had been stuck for centuries, that no-one even had any idea could be moved. You did the impossible… and then went on to show everyone else how to do it too. Of course they are thankful for your efforts Paul.”
Paul opened his mouth, and then reconsidered his reply, and finally shrugged.
“Ok… when you put it that way I guess you’re right. Certainly, enough people seem to agree with you too. So.. about this serving me thing?”
Inari laughed, hopping off his knee and bobbing a small bow.
“As the master wishes!”
Paul awoke slowly and lazily, they had indeed eaten, drunk and been merry the night before. But not so much that he felt hung-over… although that might also have had something to do with the dried celestial peach pills that Inari had given him.
Paul smiled to himself, this was by far the oddest, and perhaps the best, Christmas morning he could remember… if it was still morning, which he had his doubts about.
He could feel the by-now familiar warmth of Inari curled against his side. Paul smiled, last night had been memorable for more reasons than just the party. Inari had presented her portrait to Kiko. Paul hadn’t been able to wrap it, as he’d been working on it up until the last moment, so the paint had been still been wet.
Although the original reason for the painting no longer pertained, as Kiko had no intention of going anywhere soon and was taking Goddess lessons from Inari, she had nonetheless been appreciative of the painting. So much so that Paul had quietly removed himself to give the two some privacy.
The workshop had been quiet, and dimly lit by the red glow of the banked forge fire that Paul had left burning to keep the cold at bay. Paul hadn’t bothered with the lights, but had sat himself down on the blanket he’d left by the fire.
He’d been pleased, but not surprised, when he’d felt a familiar hand trailing across his shoulders, and heard Kate’s voice saying.
“Merry Christmas lover.”
She’d walked around from behind him, sitting herself on the edge of the bench in front of him, smiling at him seductively, seeming very much alive and real... and wearing a rather small wispy red baby-doll nightie, a Santa-hat and sprig of mistletoe on the waistband of her tiny red panties.
It had been quite a few hours later, near dawn, that Paul had finally sought his own bed. He’d been mildly surprised to find Inari in his bed, in her nine-tailed silvery-white fox form. He’d smoothed a thumb over the red kami markings in the fur of her brow, smiling at her sleeping face, murmuring.
“Love you Inari. Whatever shape you’re in, you’re cute.”
He’d briefly wondered why she’d transformed herself, but at least he didn’t feel like he was cheating on Kate with another woman, as he settled down to sleep with Inari curled in the crook of his arm.
Now, in the grey light of day, Paul stretched and yawned, warmed as much by his recollections as the quilt and the soft, gently curvaceous body next to him. Inari had relaxed at some point in her sleep, transforming into mostly human, or kitsune shape, retaining the fox ears, tails and silky white hair alone.
Paul quietly got dressed, and went to salvage breakfast from the wreckage of last night’s feast. There was plenty to choose from, despite many of the celebrants departing with cloth wrapped boxes of left-overs. The soldiers in particular had been grateful for that, barracks food in the JSDF was good, so he was told, but nothing beat a home-cooked meal, or even reheated left-overs.
Inari slowly emerged nose-first from the covers after Paul placed the tray of food by the bed. She sat, nude as usual, and groomed her ears fox-like as she smiled sleepily at him.
“Morning Inari, sleep well?”
“I did, and good morning to you..”
Inari paused, sniffing, and then frowned slightly at him.
“Paul-san.. may I ask an indelicate question?”
“You can ask...”
“Who is she?”
“Who is what?”
“I smell another woman’s scent on you. A rather unmistakable and… intimate.. scent.”
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
“Oh! Ahh…. I’ve been meaning to tell you about it since yesterday, but there wasn’t time for private conversation.”
“Paul.. my Herald.. I’m glad you’ve found someone to..”
“It’s Kate.”
Inari blinked at him, momentarily struck dumb. Paul took the opportunity to press a cup of tea into her hands, and continued.
“She… appeared.. the night before last. Just as real and alive seeming as when she actually was. Ok, her emotions seemed a little… off. She was colder towards other people than I remembered her being, but apart from that, she was much the same.”
“Oh, Paul… you know she’s not real?”
“I know, but everything about her seems it… very real… um. Even she says she feels the same. Anyway I… well suffice it to say I arranged a Christmas present for her. Well, for both of us, really.”
Inari made a circle with her thumb and forefinger, and peered at Paul though it. After a moment she sighed, and lowered her hand.
“As I thought, she’s draining you of life force Paul. It’s not critical… yet.”
“I know, I knew what she was doing. But I can spare it and… well it might not be all of Kate, but it is still some of her… quite a lot of her in fact.”
“You can’t keep doing that Paul! She can’t be allowed to feed on you.”
“I know… and more importantly, she knows. I’ve already figured out how to feed her another way, without draining me. I prototyped a design with Lady Norita actually. It won’t be as intimately pleasurable… but it’ll keep Kate fulfilled without doing any harm, and then hopefully she won’t be tempted to snack on me. Well, maybe a nibble, now and again...”
Inari sighed and shook her head.
“No good can come of keeping her here Paul.”
“Maybe not...and I know you mean emotionally, for me. But she’s not ready to let go yet, and I’m not yet ready to let her go either.”
Inari nodded slowly.
“Very well… if you can prevent her from harming you, then we’ll do nothing about this. For now.”
Paul nodded.
“Thank you for understanding Inari...”
“I should be the last person to take someone to task for an ill-advised love affair.”
“Fair point I suppose. From what I gather, your track record isn’t exactly stellar.”
“Paul! You...”
Paul grinned at her, dropping his mock serious expression. Inari huffed in exasperation.
“Tease.. although you are somewhat right my Herald. I have not always been wise in matters of the heart.”
“Maybe not, although Kiko is good for you, and vice versa. I was thinking last night she’s hardly recognisable now, she’s gained so much in confidence. Not all of which is because she’s a Goddess either.”
Inari nodded.
“I know! She talks of planning a future together, the three of us.”
“Three of us?! Inari, I am still mortal.”
“Maybe so, and technically so is Kiko… but death when it comes for either of you, won’t be more than a momentary pause due to a minor inconvenience.”
Paul stared at Inari for moment, then closed his mouth.
“Huh… well. Heck of a benefits package, but do I get a choice?”
Inari stared at him, wide eyed in surprise.
“You...you’d want to die?”
“In the fullness of time, yeah, maybe. I have someone waiting for me you see...”
“Oh! Oh Paul… I.. hadn’t considered that aspect. Yes, of course you have a choice. When the time comes… although I might have to bring you back just a little in order to ask you first, should it happen accidentally.”
Paul grinned.
“Like if I blow myself up a bit too successfully? Yeah, no need to ask. Of course if I’m not done living then by all means haul me back. Kate said to live a long life and have plenty of adventures to tell her about when we meet again. I’ll tell you when I’m ready. Although, probably not for a very long time I’d imagine. Apart from anything else...now that I think of it, I’ve got to figure out how to tell Kate I cheated on her, with herself...”
Inari frowned,
“Um.. I don’t think that’s how it works.. I don’t think that’s cheating… exactly. Although, if it is, then technically it’s necrophilia.”
“Ew, no!”
“Well, you did just spend all night making love to your dead wife, before climbing into bed saying you loved me!”
“Eww Inari it’s not like…. Wait a minute! You heard that?!”
Inari blushed, every visible inch of her going pink.
“Ah, oops..yes...more than once actually. I sleep like a fox after all.”
Paul felt his own cheeks flaming, as he drew in several deep breaths.
“Okayyy… why did you never say anything?”
“Because you obviously thought I was asleep still, and never hinted at it when you knew I was awake.”
“Oh. I… don’t know what to say, for once. Well, except, yes. I do love you...”
Heedless of her nudity, or anything else, Inari threw herself into Paul’s lap, flinging her arms around him and holding him tight.
“Oof! Inari! And Merry Christmas to you too.”
“Oh Paul!”
“Hang on Inari.. before you get too carried away, this isn’t going to change things between us.”
Inari leaned back, looking hurt at him.
“Paul? Why not? Is it something I..”
Paul shook his head, and leaned forward to kiss away the frown on Inari’s brow.
“No, it’s nothing about you. It’s me… inside I’m a mess in case you haven’t noticed, and this business with Kate.. Kate’s ghost… has stirred stuff up for me. Until I sort that out, I can’t really commit to taking things further, can I? It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“Umm… no? I mean, I’m sure I could...”
“Inari, no. If I can’t give my heart fully, and I wouldn’t be able to, then it could poison our relationship. Which, given that we could be together for a very long time, isn’t a risk we should take.”
Inari sighed, resting her head against Paul’s shoulder.
“Sometimes, I wish you weren’t so sensible… but yes, alright. Although part of me very much wishes otherwise.”
Paul chuckled.
“Yeah, I’d noticed… me too.”
“I had noticed that!”
Paul coloured and shifted position.
“Ah, Inari..”
Inari grinned wickedly…
“I could help you with that, call it an extra present maybe…?”
Paul shook his head, chuckling despite his discomfort.
“No Inari, I think not. Although I appreciate the offer... and the view.”
Inari’s cheeks flamed red once again, as she buried her face against his neck, laughing.
While Inari showered and dressed, Paul went for a walk to cool off and to give the matter some serious thought. He hadn’t intended to confess his feelings to Inari, reasoning that it would make matters a whole lot more complicated. But now the cat was out of the bag, and among the pigeons so to speak, he had to figure what to do next… which was all very well, but his brain was rattling like a pinball machine in an earthquake and just coming up tilt.
Rounding the corner of the temple he stopped dead in his tracks; just inside the Torii gate was a small crowd of people. He immediately recognised Rin, the Mayor and Ms Mitashi, more or less surrounded by a half dozen other adults and children.
He slowly started to back-track, but had managed no more than a half step back towards the corner, when Rin called out.
“Hoi! Paul-san… we have a problem!”
Paul sighed, just when he thought he could get some peace and quiet…
“Ok, coming...”
Coming up he saw that there were three, perhaps four families, all with children looking upset and parents at various levels of irateness. Paul frowned.
“What seems to be the problem?”
Ms Mitashi opened her mouth, but before she could say anything a somewhat rotund and balding father jumped in.
“I’ll tell what the problem is! YOU got your presents mixed up, that’s what! We were promised presents that would suit our children, and look at this.. this.. stuff!”
The man waved a half unwrapped present, which appeared to be a makeup set and a dress-up princess costume.
Paul tilted his head quizzically.
“I don’t see what’s wrong...”
The man pushed a small boy forward.
“Is this your idea of what’s suitable for my SON!”
Paul blinked, dismayed. But before he or anyone else could say something, a pinched faced woman pushed a tearful looking girl forward, who was clutching a toy pirate sword to her chest as if she feared it would be snatched away.
“Or my daughter! I mean really! It’s bad enough she gets into scrapes all the time, but encouraging her to act like a boy!”
The rest of the parents joined in, as more people started filing through the Torii gate, adding their complaints. The Mayor and Ms Mitashi started to look alarmed as they slowly backed up in front of what was rapidly becoming a small mob of angry parents, letting loose a tirade of narrow minded pettiness.
Paul glanced to one side, and saw that Rin had backed up until Rin was almost hiding behind Paul, covering their ears.
Something seemed to seethe inside of Paul.. his voice was quiet, dangerously quiet and his English accent was cuttingly precise, each constant honed to a razor’s edge, as he spoke.
“That’s enough.”
Those closest to Paul started to fall silent, allowing the more strident voices at the back to be heard.
Paul’s temper boiled over.
“I said enough! SILENCE!”
Paul’s voiced echoed around the courtyard, as a mob of crows took flight from the trees raucously, their cries fading into the distance in the sudden, ringing absence of voices.
The balding father with the distraught young boy gripped by one thin shoulder started to open his mouth, and Paul held up a single fore-finger to hush him.
As Paul did so, the ground seemed to kick at his feet, and a low rumble, more felt than heard, shuddered through the air. Paul automatically braced himself, his face impassive despite not knowing what was happening at first. The trees rustled, shaking as if a breeze was in them, even though the air was still.
After split-seconds thought, Paul realised it was a minor earthquake. The sort of trembler that could strike anywhere in Japan on an almost monthly basis, and was usually so minor as not to be worth mentioning.
Paul was struck by a sudden whimsical thought, and smiled slightly.
“Do NOT make me lose my temper any further, or you really won’t like the consequences. Understood?”
The man looked baffled at Paul for a moment, then, as a faint after-shock set the ground under everyone’s feet trembling again, his eyes widened. He glanced downwards, as a small stone bounced across the flag stones, and swallowed nervously.
“Ah, no.. Lord Herald-san! I..I apologise!”
Paul sighed, and shook his head.
“Alright everyone… adults over there, children over here. I want to have small chat with the recipients first, and this way everyone can see what’s going on… without interrupting. Understood?”
There was a quiet chorus of agreement and nods. Ms Mitashi without saying anything rounded up the children, leading them to the far side of the courtyard, while the Mayor did the same with adults.
While Paul waited for them to sort themselves out, Rin sidled up behind him and murmured.
“Bit of luck with that earthquake, you’ve got them convinced you did that.”
Paul couldn’t resist. Smiling inwardly he asked in an off-hand voice.
“Oh? What makes you think I didn’t?”
“What? No, you didn’t...you couldn’t.. could you? Oh! Um.. wow. Ok.”
Paul half turned to look at Rin sideways, and winked slyly. Rin’s eyes widened, and as realisation sunk in, Rin had to work hard not to laugh at themselves.
While Rin struggled to contain their amusement at being fooled, Paul strode across to the small group of children. He knelt down in front of them, and held up his hand.
“I promise, I won’t shout, and I won’t take your toys away. No matter what anyone else has said. You have my word on it.”
The small band of boys and girls looked among each other, and the girl clutching the pirate sword stepped forward.
“You won’t let our mummies and daddies take them away either?”
“I will try to make sure that won’t happen. I think I understand. Inari gave each of you the one toy you’ve all been secretly longing for, but didn’t dare ask for. Am I right?”
There were a number of glances across the courtyard, and a few nods. Paul sighed.
“They can’t hear you, it’s safe to talk. So, I’ll ask you again.. are these toys those that you secretly wanted, and thought you’d never get?”
The pirate girl spoke up.
“Mummy only ever buys me dolls and other girls stuff and those are no fun at all!”
Paul glanced at the young boy, still holding the half unwrapped and somewhat battered looking make-up set.
“I think some here might disagree, but I understand that you don’t find them fun.”
The young lad spoke, shyly.
“It.. it’s not right though. Boys have to play with boys toys, and girls with girls toys. So Daddy says.”
The sturdy looking girl nodded, putting her arm around the frail shoulders of the young boy.
“That’s what they say.”
Paul glanced up at Rin, and raised an eyebrow. Rin shrugged.
“That’s the countryside for you… even among Yokai, the old gender stereotypes linger on.”
“Like a bad smell… Ok kids, listen up. You do know who I am, right? So you know I speak for Inari. Now, She believes that people should be free to be whoever they are, that’s the whole point about Yokai now being able to go out in public and be seen as they really are.”
The children glanced among themselves, and then the young girl with the pirate sword took out her hair pin, and suddenly she had a pair of long brown rabbit ears, and a cute button nose that twitched.
“Mummy says it’s still rude to be seen in public like this.”
“Uh-huh.. well, kids, here’s a quick lesson for you. Grown-ups aren’t always right. Inari says it’s ok to be who, or what you are. Because she’s lived thousands of years and has seen and knows everything! That means you don’t have to hide the fact you are Yokai, or that you’re a girl who likes to play rough and tumble, and dreams of being pirate, or a boy who likes pretty dresses and make-up, or whatever it is that makes you, uniquely you. This world is full of people who are afraid of things they don’t understand and want to make everything and everyone simple and all the same, like they’ve been stamped out of cookie cutters. You do NOT have to listen to those people. You can be brave, and you can be free, and different. You can be what you want to be. Because you can tell those people to shut up and leave you alone, politely, and you will have the law on your side...as well as people like Inari and me.”
Rin added from behind Paul.
“And me too.”
There was a soft Fa-woosh! sound, as Rin conjured a ball of fire into their hand, and the children Ooo’ed in amazement and delight.
Paul grinned.
“Right, and Rin… who never listens to what anyone tells them. There’s also the Goddess Kiko, Inari’s girlfriend, and the Goddess of Storms Suzue, who will happily kick anyone’s ass, and so on… plus the police and the Mayor. So, yes.. you can be who you are, and like what you like and most importantly, play with the toys you love. Do you understand now?”
The children all nodded enthusiastically. Paul slowly stood up, and glanced at Ms Mitashi.
“So, did I leave anything out Ms Principal?”
“No Herald-san, I think you said everything that needed saying… except perhaps to add that some rules are there to keep children safe. Common sense ones like looking both ways when you cross the streets, and less so ones like coming home when it starts to go dark or telling your parents where you are going when you are playing outside. And if you’re not sure, then you should wait and ask a teacher or another grown-up. Do you all understand now?”
The children chorused “Yes, Miss Mitashi!”
Paul nodded at Ms Mitashi.
“Right, easy part over. Now I’ll go talk to the parents.”
Paul walked across the courtyard, saying to Rin as they went.
“You know.. some people just do not deserve the kids they have… oh well. I guess I need to remind them that they need to be the parents their kids deserve.”
“Good luck with that. I say we get rid of the lot of them and let Inari adopt the kids.”
“Hmmph, don’t tempt me, Little Fox.”
Paul couldn’t help thinking that the group of parents looked more mulish and ill-behaved than the children. He stood in front of them, hands behind his back, legs apart just in case there were any more after-quakes, and regarded the mutinous looking crew. Paul frowned… they were, logically, all Yokai, and yet not one of them showed it.
“What a cowardly lot you are.”
There was a muttering chorus of disagreement, and some angry looks, which Paul ignored.
“Here we are, standing in the sanctuary of Inari’s temple, and you shivering bunch of spineless lily-livered cowards are still hiding your true natures!”
“You can’t insult us like that!”
Paul turned to glare at the balding man in the front.
“Oh can’t I? And just who is going to stop me? You?”
Paul took a step towards the man, who squawked in fright and moved to stand half behind the mayor.
“Mayor Namora! Are you going to let him bully us like that?!”
“I rather think I am Hikigaeru, it makes a change from you trying to bully people.”
Paul had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing. He scowled at the group.
“You’re a pathetic bunch of fools who are an insult to Inari and myself. We risked our lives to win the right for all Yokai to be free to live without hiding what they are.. and you throw it back in our faces.”
Judging by the shocked, and then shame-faced expressions, nobody in the group had quite thought of it that way. Paul plunged on…
“But not only do you insult Inari by still hiding what you are, but THEN you have the nerve to try and force your children to be the same as you. You, who are so terrified that you cower like rabbits still, teaching your children they have to conform, to be like everyone else...”
Finally someone got up the nerve to answer Paul back.
“But..what about the toys?”
“What about them?! The spell on the messenger foxes did exactly what it was supposed to. It directed them to deliver the present to a child who would best appreciate it, who most wanted what the messenger was carrying. Is it our fault that what your children want, isn’t what you expected them to? That what you thought would be ‘appropriate’ for them… isn’t what they wanted? You, Hikigaeru, have a son who likes pretty dresses and make up.. So what?! Maybe he’ll grow up to be a fashion designer, or maybe he’ll grow up to be a daughter instead of a son. That is his right, to be free to be what he is. And you, Mrs rabbit, have a daughter who’s rough and tumble… you want to go tell the Yamato family that girls can’t fight? Maybe Katsu should hide her kendo trophies away perhaps? No? I thought not…”
Paul paused to draw breath, and then shook his head, looking away from them.
“You are all disappointments, failures, the lot of you. You don’t deserve those kids, if this is your idea of how to be parents.”
Out of the band someone spoke.
“Hoi, you can’t say that!”
Paul growled out.
“Oh can’t I?! It’s my job to speak the truth to kami, you think I’m going to do less with you worms?!”
“You can’t tell us how to raise our children! You have no right..”
“Oh don’t I? And what about their rights? Like the right not to be screwed up by your lousy parenting, because you are still so terrified at standing out, that you force them to conform to stereotypes that were out-dated when Inari was young! What about their right to grow up to be healthy and happy adults, who accept what they are. Hmm? Have you thought at all about that?!”
There was silence, as Paul stood, glaring at the crowd. Eventually he shook his head.
“As Inari’s Herald, and magistrate pro-tem for yokai, I am making a ruling here. Inari’s spell worked. The children received gifts that were exactly what they wanted, whether or not they admitted that to you, and regardless of what you think of that. They can keep and play with them as they wish and it is NOT your concern, as that is between Inari and them.”
Paul scowled at the adults.
“I am also telling you, you will take your children home, and you will think long and hard about your actions as parents. You WILL read up on how to be a parent, because quite frankly, if there was such a thing as a parenting licence or test, I’d fail the lot of you right now for this! And you may thank your lucky stars that Inari isn’t here, because she wouldn’t be nearly as lenient.”
Paul could see out of the corner of his eye Rin nodding empathic agreement.
“Now, go and say sorry to your kids for your appalling behaviour, go home, and try to make sure you don’t ruin the rest of Christmas for them.”
One by one the silent adults filed past Paul, eyes downcast, shamefaced and contrite. Here and there, without comment, they shed their disguises and stood as yokai. Those ones murmured their thanks, or apologies, as they passed him.
Eventually, Paul stood alone in the courtyard with Rin, Ms Mitashi and Mayor Namora having left with the last of the chastised parents. Paul heaved a sigh, and hung his head.
“Did I do the right thing, Rin?”
“Huh? Of course!”
“I was pretty much telling those people how to raise their kids.. practically ordering them even.”
“Yeah, but they were screwing it up.”
“Still doesn’t feel right though...it feels like...how I wished someone had spoken to my father actually. Maybe I was just, I dunno, projecting my own problems, or something.”
Rin snorted.
“No. Well, maybe yes.. but you were right too.”
“Maybe… shitty thing to happen at Christmas though, Rin.”
Rin shook their head.
“No, it was the perfect gift.”
Surprised Paul turned to look at Rin, taking in their earnest expression. Paul raised an eyebrow, inviting an explanation. Rin grinned at him.
“Think about it, you just told those kids they can be whatever they want, that they have a guaranteed right to be how and what they are… and perhaps, you just gave them somewhat less shitty parents as well. I’d say that’s a pretty good gift!”
Paul snorted.
“Yeah, I guess so...and I shouldn’t be surprised you’d see that. How does that Gloria Gaynor song go? ‘I am what I am, and what I am needs no excuses’...something like that?”
Rin giggled.
“Yeah, something like that!”
Rin started to sing, their voice surprisingly deep but somehow still feminine sounding.
“I am what I am
I don't want praise, I don't want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty
And so what if I love each sparkle and each bangle
Why not try to see things from a different angle
Your life is a sham
Till you can shout out
I am what I am!”
Paul laughed as Rin sang, joining in on the last line, shouting out the lyrics.
“Life's not worth a damn till you can shout out, I am what I am!”
Rin collapsed against Paul, giggling so much that they could hardly breath, not that Paul was much better off. As the pair of them leaned on each other, Inari and Kiko walked into the courtyard arm-in-arm, and stopped at the sight. Inari blinked in surprise and raised an eyebrow at them. Paul grinning and still somewhat breathless, carolled out.
“Merii Kurisumasu!!”