As Theo stared into the depths of the card, his eyes fell upon the eyes of the owl, glowing orbs at the same time full of some energy Theo had no name for, and full of one he very much recognized, despair, so potent, that Theo could barely comprehend its depths. The eyes of the card didn't shift, the pupils locked forward, but somehow Theo simply knew that this thing, this being, was not some mere card or artifact of power, but something capable of the thought and the loss he saw in its eyes. Theo found himself frozen in place, unable to move, either towards the card or away from it, and instead sent a tendril of thought, a query to his systems inspect tool, and came up with this

[Deplorable] Zalgen the Knowing

That's when Theo began to truly fear, not because he had the full picture of what this was, but because of the glimpse he saw and the horror that glimpse inspired. The shock of seeing a card that was as evil as it was potent, rivaling even the cards used by gods, was enough to break Theo out of his stupor. Without a moment of hesitation, he turned tail and commanded his legs to run. Theo thought of himself as a curious person, but he knew stupid when he saw it, and being anywhere near that card was divinely stupid. He might as well play cards with Hedum Futuresear. Theo made it a few steps before something curious began to happen. He felt a strange sensation in his legs, a kind of burning, and when he looked down, he realized that he was not running as he thought himself to be doing, but instead slowly trudging forward, his legs moving as if in molasses. As he realized the chains wrapped around him, his movement halted, and he stayed stationary for a few seconds, unable to get his legs to respond. Theo then felt his legs move once more, and when he realized what was happening, he fought hard. The issue was that, no matter what he did, he couldn't get his legs to respond to him.

Theo attempted to reach out for a low-hanging branch belonging to a tree to his left, but he realized that his arms wouldn't respond either. In fact, as he kept walking forward, Theo systematically tried every single muscle he could think of in his body and found that not one had been left untouched. At last, he tried to blink, but no matter what he did, his eyes blinked once every 3 seconds, and nothing he did could change that fact.

As his feet drew nearer, Theo reached for the system but found that errors were spit out instead.

SYSTEM CARD NOT FOUND... LOCATING... ERROR, LINK BLOCKED BY ENTITY {[Deplorable] Zalgen the Knowing}... COURSE OF ACTION UNKNOWN... SCANNING BUILT IN DATABASES... ENTITY {[Deplorable] Zalgen the Knowing} FOUND ON BLACKLIST. ALERTING ADMIN:

{Miohor, Holy and Righteous Divine Masterwork of Magic and Power}

... ERROR LINK BLOCKED... SYSTEM SHUTDOWN TO PREVENT COMPLETE FAILURE...

It was the last 5 feet that were the worst. Throughout the entire thing, nothing to cause pain ever happened, but Theo knew that in a few short seconds, despite everything he had done, the power of this card, of this entity, that seemed to be more powerful than even the system itself, would consume him at worst and simply slay him at best. His brother would be left destitute, and everything he had worked for would all be for nothing. His final thoughts, before his hand, which had raised a few steps before the pedestal on which the card lay, were a plea, "Camden, forgive me, forge your own way, your own path, to joy." This simple thought was done, and without even the ability to close his own eyes, Theo's hand hit the card.

Darkness.

Images of battle, and blood, and death, and betrayal.

A shred of hope for peace was snuffed out in 10 years of immortal life.

Theo awakes with a jolt, feeling like a mage's lightning bolt went into his feet and came out of his skull. He snaps upright but lets out a groan as he feels his entire body. Everything is sore. Theo realizes this is the effect of his muscles fighting themselves, his mind telling them to do one thing, and an outside force telling them to do another. As he slowly, with his hands helping him push down on the loose dirt around him, gets up, he hears a voice that has a certain dream-like quality, not quite real, not audible to the birds or plants, but nonetheless

I would first like to begin with an apology.

Theo falls back down on his ass, already sore, and grits out a hissed, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

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An apology to you, Theo, sincerely delivered

Theo began to laugh, a sound echoing throughout the clearing as he realized who this voice was. It was the very thing that robbed him of agency over his own limbs, muscles, and eyes. The shear fucking nerve. His laugh moved to a snarl as he whirled, bringing back his hand, a spear lost in the blast, and cocking a punch, only to find an empty pedestal.

I beg of you: thirty seconds of explanation and apology.

Theo was never one to give over to anger or allow it to get the better of him. As a child, when Derek stole from him, he didn't do a thing. He just let the theft happen, despite the fact that Derek was a shrimp compared to him, because he couldn't find it in himself to get truly worked up over a toy. Despite the magnitude of the difference in this scenario, Theo couldn't hold on to the white-hot rage for very long. It was a little foolhardy, considering with whom he must be speaking, but Theo wasn't known for his great and prolific wisdom.

"Thirty seconds"

Thank You Before we begin, you need to be made certain of one facet of this conversation you may not be privy to.

System Restart to 1.0, facilitated by Zalgen the Knowing

[Soul Oath sworn]. I, Zalgen the Knowing, do hereby swear to the individual named Theo closest to my person at the time of the signing of this contract that the following information is true.

Due to my nature as a lord of wisdom and knowledge, I know all lies and can speak none.

At present, your mind remains your own, and I have no window into it, nor dominion over it.

That had some implications. The system was, and had been for his entire life, on version 1.7.3. In addition, he had just been told that his system had shut down. This meant that the voice in his head, Zalgen, has the ability to influence the system to this degree. In addition, the soul oath was said to go beyond just the system, and in fact, some very prestigious institutions require one to sign one on paper, although they both achieve the same means. As far as he knew, unless Zalgen had some way to get the system to lie to him or to break the soul oath, neither of them could lie. in adition, his mind would remain unmolested.

"Please address me by my full name, Theo Atrocules."

Lie, you bear no last name.

"True enough, neither our parents nor the nuns gifted my sister and me one."

Lie, you have no sister.

So it appeared that at least one part of the oath held true, which likely meant the other parts held true as well. There were several other avenues, but they either ascribed such power to Zalgen that resistance seamed futile to Theo or they created a scam so elaborate that Theo would willingly let himself be duped, just to observe the brilliance of it.

"Why did you take my autonomy from me?"

That is one of my deeper regrets, and trust me when I say that I have many. To put it briefly, that pillar is an artifact made for keeping me asleep, forever if need be. It was quite literally thrown from the heavens, with me still on it, by a god whose temper is matched only by his sloth.

Theo remained silent and simply let Zalgen speak.

Tieren, of the mind, was attempting to seek me out, looking for answers on how to allow his champion to win the contest against Mihor of Magic's champion. Through a combination of taunts, faux-incompetence, and half-truths about other gods, I finally got the walking man-child to snap. He had a temper tantrum for the ages and threw me, pedestal and all, to the mortal plane. I believe he instructed me to become fish food, but it appears that he has missed by a rather large margin. Although I suppose I may be quite close to some coastal region or another, say where's the nearest large body of water, it would be interesting to know how poor Tierin's aim is.

"None of that explains why you took me over. Also, I thought you swore you couldn't lie, yet you prefaced this tangent with a promise of brevity," I said, ignoring the senseless question he posed at the end of his spiel.

Oh, I, yes, sorry, I suppose my nature is a bit contrary to any oaths of brevity. Zalgen spoke, sounding flustered and a bit embarked, the way he'd seen one of the older scholars get, coming to the orphanage to teach letters and being called out by Camden, bless his young soul,What does E have to do with the migratory patterns of large falcons?"

A throat was cleared in my mind, and Zalgen got back on track. To put it simply, when I commanded you, it was not truly me. It was my power, perhaps my subconscious, to lure a being closer to me who had the power to release me from my prison. For that, I am sincerely sorry.

"Perhaps I'd accept that if I knew what I was accepting apologies from. Before it shut down, the system said you were [Deplorable], and that means you're as evil as you are potent. I may be hopeless, but I'm not a moron; I'll never accept anything from you ever, and you're as stupid as I'd be if you think that I would."

I have a proposal. I don't see you turning down

[Soul Contract] Between parties Zalgen the Knowing (I, me, my) and Theo (you, your).

In exchange for you listening to the story I will tell you and remaining within 500 meters of the location where I crashed into the mortal plane for a maximum period of 1 hour, the actual time under this threshold will be decided by me, I will divulge to you the only way you can remove me from your soul and, barring extenuating circumstances, be free of me for the rest of your life. The divulging of this information shall be either at a time of my choosing or within 5 minutes of the aforementioned hour, whichever is sooner.

[Accept] [Deny]