Elora was reminded of the moment when she first met Tessa.
Orin had been in her arms, barely holding onto consciousness, something the Princess was sure he did for her sake. She was crying, weak and useless. Panic was at the forefront of her mind and it was all she could do to drag the bleeding body of her Knight towards the orphanage, towards aid. The first face she had seen upon those doors opening had been Tessa. She had been waiting there. The doors swung open before Elora could touch them and the elation on the young mercenary's face had quickly turned to anger and hate. Tessa had snatched Orin from her arms and held him close, tenderly. Elora hadn't noticed it at the time, too focused on the cutting words that emerged from Tessa's mouth. They slashed her deep, highlighting her ineptitude and idiocy. The worst of it was that Elora couldn't disagree with her. Orin wouldn't have been hurt so badly had she just stayed in the palace, had she known her place. She stood there and accepted the berating, tears pouring down her cheeks and hands clenched by her side as the Sister and Boldrin helped Tessa carry the young man further inside. It was in that moment that Elora first learned of the extent of Tessa's feelings towards Orin. Her Knight didn't see it, or refused to, but they were there nonetheless, bubbling beneath a turbulent surface and ready to break free at any moment.
Later, during their fight it had been made all the more clear to Elora what Tessa's position was. She would do anything for Orin, that much had been made clear to her, time and time again. The Princess didn't know how to react to it at first and after Orin brushed off her concerns she had kept quiet, not saying anything else on the matter. If she was being truthful with herself she was glad that Orin hadn't seen through Tessa's fragile mask. Elora's own feelings for her Knight were fairly new at the time and something she had never experienced before, but the idea of him being with Tessa in a more... romantic sense, filled her with fear and jealousy. She had never felt that before. Cellus had many who wished to catch his eye, despite him already being spoken for, but Elora never felt threatened, nor did she feel like she needed to defend her place at his side. She realised this was because she hadn't loved Cellus, not in the same way that she loved Orin.
Elora blinked as that thought crossed her mind. The realisation was so easy to accept, so simple, but undeniably true. She loved Orin. She had for quite some time. She looked back, combing through her sparse memories to try and figure out when it had happened. She came up empty on a specific moment but after a certain point the very sight of him would cause a warmth to blossom in her chest. The Princess found herself watching him more and had noticed his eyes on her. She liked that. Liked when he looked at her just for the sake of it, as she did for him. They had yet to say the words to each other, but they were there, barely hidden and ready to be spoken. She had told Cellus that she loved him. It had been easy to say and was easily returned, but this was different. Those three words now had a weight that had been absent before, filled with promise and the potential of two lives intertwined. Yet the thought of saying it didn't fill the Princess with trepidation or fear. No, it filled her with excitement and longing. He was hers, as she was his. Now and forever.
That was why, she realised, that Tessa troubled her so. Why she had felt so uncertain and clumsy around the elegant and primal mercenary. The simple explanation was that Tessa was everything that Elora was not. She was confident, where Elora was meek. She was brave, where Elora was cowardly. In many ways Tessa was far more suited for Orin that she herself could be. In truth, the Princess and her Knight couldn't be more different. They were from different worlds. His was one of blood and toil, filled with hardship. Hers was one of privilege and prestige. Elora felt threatened by Tessa, because of her past with Orin, because of the feelings that were so obvious to her but oblivious to her Knight.
After what happened in Paldrum, Elora had thought of little else but her inevitable confrontation with Tessa, and it would be a confrontation. In each of the Princess' imagined scenarios, she and Tessa had been at each others throats. Elora would always emerge the victor in these fantastical situations, of course. If she couldn't win in her own mind then what was the point of fantasy in the first place? Some she won with sound reasoning and logic, stating how Tessa had been wrong to do what she did in such a way that it would leave the mercenary a blubbering wreck. Others had Elora win a battle of arms as she showed Orin just how useful she could be by beating Tessa in combat. Even Elora had to admit that she had been stretching the bounds of reality when she had thought up that particular scenario. If the Princess and Tessa were to fight again it would end much the same way as it did last time: Elora running away while Tessa hounded her.
Elora had thought up a thousand different ways for their next meeting to play itself out. The Princess prided herself on her ability to problem solve. It was where she believed she shined, after all. But never, not in the most wild of her imaginings, did she foresee a situation like this.
“So, how is this going to work?”
Tessa's question was a good one and Elora opened her mouth to respond before closing it dumbly. How would they begin? How were they supposed to proceed?
Upon seeing Tessa at the door to the kitchens, Elora had felt her still simmering anger flare and eyes flash as she readied herself to tear the girl apart. Words already forming on her tongue as she prepared to pepper the woman with insults that were far removed from the calm and concise way she had wanted to defeat her new enemy. But the more Tessa spoke, the more the anger faded away. What stood before her in that moment was not the prideful and confident mercenary, but a young woman begging to be loved, begging for affection that she had never received. The longer she spoke, the worse Elora felt about herself.
Tessa was broken in more ways than one. Every sentence spoken pulled at Elora's heart and the Princess could only stare, dumbstruck, as Tessa fell apart before her very eyes. She tried to reconcile this Tessa with the one that she had known up to that point but couldn't. It shouldn't have come as a surprise to her, in truth. She had known that Tessa had feelings for Orin but this was something else, something that was concerning in its intensity.
The way Tessa looked at Orin was possessive. Obsessive. Elora believed everything that Tessa was saying because to see the look in her eyes was a confirmation all its own. The Princess' Knight truly was Tessa's whole world, the only thing that was keeping her rooted. It was disturbing and even thinking about the look that Tessa give Orin was enough to send shivers down Elora's spine. But much like her love for her Knight, Elora could not deny Tessa's emotions anymore than she could her own.
Her wrathful thoughts evaporated. Tessa's honesty and openness had disarmed her completely. Elora had always thought of herself as kind, or at least as wanting to be. Tessa knew what she had done was wrong, Elora could see that as clear as day. It didn't change what had happened, didn't change the fact that Tessa had tried to Bond with Orin without her knowledge or consent. But berating and belittling her would do little more than cause the walls around her to rise once again. That bulwark, Tessa's armour, was down now for the first time since Elora had known her. This was the time to talk, if there ever was one. The two young women could be honest with each other, could state their intentions and their concerns.
Orin had left. He had seen Tessa for the first time, the real her that lay hidden behind the insults and dismissive comments. He had turned back to the Princess after hugging Tessa and, in his eye, Elora saw something that gave her hope.
Orin had been different after Paldrum. The loss of his eye, the secrets revealed by Tessa and, of course, the Severance itself had caused him to miss a step. He had been more unsure of himself. He wasn't the confident and experienced mercenary that marched with her towards Dunwellen. Elora had kept an eye on him, trying to help him through this new obstacle he found himself up against but she quickly realised there was nothing she could do to help him, despite her best efforts to make sure he remembered who he was. His identity was being challenged, the very ideals that he had built his life around were beginning to crumble and her young Knight didn't know what to do with the new weight that had been piling on his shoulders. Elora had tried to help him shoulder the burden but she didn't want him to think that she was coddling him, that would only serve to push him away from her, something she very much wanted to avoid.
But the way he looked after hearing what Tessa said... A spark had ignited, a fire about to rage. Her Orin, the one who had challenged a Knight with nothing but a sword in his hand and courage in his heart, was coming back to her. He had smiled at her as he left, a hand on her shoulder. She had smiled back, strangely calm with the strange situation that was unfolding. In his grin, she could see the confidence that had been missing over the last few days. It had returned in full. Tessa was the cause, but the why of it was still an unknown to the Princess. She was just glad it was back.
“I don't know, Tessa,” Elora answered honestly, “I don't know how this all works.”
“I know. That's my fault. If we are going to talk, then I should start with this: I'm sorry, Elora,” Tessa said, still nervous and with clenched hands. “I know you're angry with me. Honestly, if I was in your place I'd be angry as well. I should have talked with you and Orin together, but I...”
“You didn't want to be alone?” Elora prodded gently, her eyes softening as Tessa flinched from the word as though it was some kind of poison.
“Yes,” Tessa muttered quietly, her eyes downcast and expression following, “It was selfish. Foolish.”
“But understandable,” Elora replied, her eyes trying to meet Tessa's but failing in the attempt. “I don't know your whole story, Tessa. I don't know what you've been through, what you're going through right now, but I know loneliness.”
Tessa's raised an eyebrow, doubt evident on her face, “You do?”
Elora quickly waved her hands through the air, “Nothing like what you've experienced. I was always surrounded by people. They told me what to do, what to wear, when to wake up and when to sleep. My whole life has been one long series of instructions and, before I met Orin, I was almost grateful for it. A ruler has no friends, or so the saying goes. Of course, I had Cellus, I had the ladies at court, my maids, but none of them were with me for me. Every relationship I've ever had has been conditional. I was more alone in a room full of people than I ever was by myself. Orin was the first person I had ever felt truly close to. There was no conditions, no secrets, no ulterior motive.”
Tessa shook her head, “It's not the same.”
“No, I doubt that it is,” Elora replied, “But I see how lonely you are, having carried what you have since you were small. Orin sees it too.”
Tessa looked at her then, her eyes gleaming and that possessive look returning in full as she fixed Elora with a crippling stare. “He does? Is that why he left?”
“I don't know why he left,” Elora said, getting a grip on her fragile nerves, “But hearing that someone you've known for years has been living for the sole purpose of keeping you safe is a lot for anyone to hear.”
Tessa deflated after Elora said that, the intensity in her eyes dimming, causing the Princess to sigh in relief. That relief became all the greater with the return of Sister Erin, a heavily laden tray in her hands. The Sister smiled at the two girls as she placed the tray down and gave them all a cup, her hands moving deftly as she poured the honeyed Ragoran blend. Elora had never been fond of tea, but after that brief first foray unto the breach, she felt she needed something to calm her nerves.
Talking with Tessa was difficult and not just because of the subject matter. The young mercenary was clearly not good with people and that shone through with every word she spoke. She was abrasive without meaning to be and that could definitely cause complications going forward. Having Sister Erin here would help with that, she did have a habit of cutting to the heart of an issue.
As Elora watched the Sister serve, she thought over what she and Orin had just learned. Of the trials and tribulations that the good Sister had gone through, had experienced. It occurred to Elora that all three of them had suffered from crippling loneliness, in their own way. In Erin's case, she had watched out for Orin by herself for nearly eight years, taking on the sole burden of his care because she could trust no one with the secret of his origin. Elora couldn't even imagine what that was like, to constantly be looking over your shoulder, to be responsible for a helpless infant that relied on you for everything. Elora had told Orin to remember that Erin was still his mother, no matter what they learned. The Princess herself had been just as afraid that whatever truths were revealed would lower her opinion of the good Sister. If anything, the opposite was true. Erin had reached a new plateau of respect in Elora's estimations, one she herself didn't even know existed. The strength of this wife of the Great Spirit was beyond any Knight she herself had ever met and that included her own.
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“Now then,” Erin took a seat and raised a cup to her lips, taking a sip and smiling. “Have you two decided where to begin?”
“You're staying?” Tessa replied, her cup sat steaming in front of her but she didn't even glance at it, her eyes narrowed at the Sister.
“Of course, I'm staying. This is my orphanage, Tessa, and I think it would be wise to have some kind of third party present.”
“Why?” The mercenary asked.
Elora was glad the Sister had decided to stay and felt a little of the tension leave her body. Talking to Tessa by herself was something that filled her with no small amount of anxiety. Having someone who could fill in the blanks and speak through the silences would help tremendously. That being said, she was curious to here the answer to Tessa's question.
“You are not good with people, dear.” Erin's bluntness caused Tessa to freeze in place. “It is through no fault of your own, but you know it to be true as well as I. When speaking to anyone, including Orin, you tend to be rather aggressive. Usually throwing quite a few insults in for good measure.”
Elora found herself nodding along with the Sister's assessment. Thinking back, the only time that Tessa had really openly conversed with someone it had been Boldrin or Orin. She didn't count herself as Tessa had been shouting at her both times they had spoken without Orin present, one such instance ending in their rather poor brawl.
“And you, Princess, have a lot invested in Orin,” Erin said, turning her brutal stare onto Elora next. “You love him, yes?”
Elora swayed and felt her vision swim. She had only recently come to the realisation that she loved Orin herself, saying it out loud, so soon, would somehow diminish it in her eyes. Instead of responding vocally, the Princess merely nodded her head once.
“Love tends to make us think with our hearts instead of our heads. I saw the way you reacted when I spoke about Tessa. You are angry with her, I can understand that and I'm sure she can as well. But we mustn't let our emotions take a hold of us now. You two need to talk, that much is clear, but we must speak without it devolving into a fight. No one wants that.”
Both girls tensed when the Sister said that and the wife of the Great Spirit's eyes narrowed in response, “You two have fought before? Physically?”
“Hardly what I'd call physical,” Tessa muttered, “It was a little fist fight, nothing worth mentioning.”
Erin's gaze turned to Elora who smiled back at her weakly in response, causing the Sister to roll her eyes, “Then me being present is the best for everyone, wouldn't you agree?”
“Agreed.” Elora said quickly, her eyes meeting Tessa's who nodded after a moment's hesitation.
“Excellent,” The Sister said. “So, where should we begin?”
Tessa's stare fell once more, the armour that had wrapped around her as Erin arrived slipping off and revealing the vulnerable young woman beneath. “I want to Bond with Orin.”
Erin nodded and Elora looked on, her thoughts muddled. She knew that was what Tessa wanted, she'd known since Paldrum, but hearing it said out loud was completely different than hearing it from Orin.
“What would it mean for my Bond?” Elora asked carefully. The mercenary had reignited the angry fire inside the Princess but she was careful to keep it contained within.
“Nothing,” Tessa replied, just as carefully. “Your Bond with Orin would be completely separate from mine. We would connect at his soul but there would be no overlap in emotion.”
Elora nodded, somewhat relieved to hear it. At least if this does go ahead then it would mean that her own Bond was safe. There was a whisper in her head, a treacherous murmur that said Tessa could be lying but Elora quickly put an end to that. If there was anything that the Princess could be certain of, it was that Tessa would protect Orin against all forms of harm. Tessa herself had even confirmed to Orin that the reason they had come with them to Dunwellen in the first place was to make sure the Bond would be permanent, to prevent Orin from succumbing to the wound in his soul.
The thought of Vera and Annabelle's lies made Elora bristle in disgust but she didn't allow it to show on her face. She hadn't seen the two since Orin had told her what Vera had told him and she hoped she didn't see them anytime soon. She blamed herself for that mistake as much as she blamed the First Knight and Smith. Something about the door in Orin's soul had rubbed her wrong from the moment she had first seen it, yet she had taken their assurances at face value. She wouldn't be making a mistake like that again. Trust was easily lost and sorely won. Vera and Annabelle had both been knocked from her confidence by keeping such a secret from her for so long.
“Why does he need a second Bond?” Elora asked. Perhaps the answer was obvious, but not to her. The Princess and her Knight were getting by without the need for more power. In fact, they were well beyond other pairs their own age. Why the need to add more? It would hurt Tessa to ask but it needed to be answered. Orin had said that Tessa told him something vague about more threats but that wasn't enough for Elora to join her life to another. Perhaps a small part of the Princess had asked the question just to get a rise out of the sharp-eyed mercenary. It may have been a larger part than she was willing to admit.
“Take your pick, Princess, “ Tessa snapped, the shadow of her former self rising to the surface once more, “You have murderous Knights out to steal you and him away, your own mother and father can't be trusted and the Hall itself. Chances are Tyra knows what happened in Paldrum, or it's only a matter of time until they do. They'll send one of their Masters along to fetch him, one that makes your mother and Vera look like children in comparison. There will be no stopping them if that's the case.”
Elora didn't like Tessa's tone but accepted it for what it was. The mercenary was nervous, scared and lashing out. Elora could be understanding about her circumstances, but that only went up to point. She may be intimidated by Tessa but she wasn't scared of her, not anymore.
“Would they send the Heir after us?” Elora asked calmly, not averting her eyes and seeing a twitch develop in Tessa's right eyebrow, “The one already at the Hall?”
Tessa frowned and then shook her head, “Not a chance. Orin would win that fight.”
“How do you know?” This time it was Erin who asked the question, looking just as confused as the Princess.
“Heirs are precious,” Tessa responded, the mention of the other Heir causing her to tense for some reason. “The one at the Hall is Princess Alice, seventh in line to the Imperial Throne of Ingemar. She'll have been trained since birth by the greatest Knights and Smiths Ouros has available and will already have all five of her Smiths. Still, it's an uneven match-up. As powerful as she surely is, she'll have no experience at all. The Hall is very protective of their Heirs, at least until they have full access to their powers. Neither she nor her Smiths will have ever seen actual combat. Orin is trained in war, has been pushed to his limits and beyond since he joined the band. He may not have known he was an Heir, but Boldrin's training ensured he'd be ready for anything. She'll be better than him in almost every way, but she's never been in an actual fight. He'll come out of it worse than he went in, but Orin would win and the Hall would be down an Heir. No way they take that risk. They don't need to when they can just send a Master and scoop Orin up like he's a kitten.”
The confidence that Tessa felt in Orin was palpable. If anyone knew the extent of what he was capable of, then it would be her. After all, Tessa had been watching him for years and knew his capabilities better than anyone. The Princess had no reason to doubt her assessment.
What left Elora reeling the most was that the Imperial Princess of Ingemar was the other Heir. Elora knew little of the workings of the Empire, but she did know that the Emperor had eight children. The Imperial Princess was said to have been poorly from birth and that's why she didn't make any public appearances. Another lie, orchestrated by the Hall to protect their Heir. That was a dangerous adversary. The Empire was leagues above Venos in terms of fighting strength and influence across the continent. Elora could only hope that if it did come down to a fight between them and Alice, the Imperial Princess wouldn't be able to call upon her father's army. Venos wouldn't survive that war.
“Then I have another question. This one is more important.” Elora placed Alice to the back of her mind for the moment. They were getting distracted by things that were unimportant, or at least, they were problems for another day.
Tessa sank into her chair. She almost seemed to know what Elora was going to ask. Her eyes nearly closed completely in resignation as her hands fell to her lap.
“I know why Orin needs more strength. But why do you want the Bond, Tessa?”
The silence that followed was pregnant with terrible foreboding. Tessa didn't answer straight away, one of her hands fiddling with her dagger's hilt as the other came up to tap against the side of her face. Her expression flittered between obsessiveness and something else entirely. Elora could only interpret as being lost, helpless.
“I know there is something wrong with me,” Tessa whispered slowly, her voice so quiet that Elora strained to hear. “I know that... feeling what I feel is wrong. His touch, Orin's touch, it's like fire to me, Elora. It makes me feel safe, comfortable and complete. I told myself that it was our connection that was doing it, but now I'm doubting even that. I don't know what's in my head and what's real anymore. Everyday I would wake up to the thought of him. He is the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. I can take a step back, look at myself from the outside and realise that I shouldn't feel this way. That I shouldn't be fixated on one person so intensely, to the expense of everything else. But knowing and believing are two different things entirely. Thinking about it does nothing to help me and, honestly, I don't think I want to be helped. He truly is all I want, Elora. I want the Bond to be closer to Orin.”
Elora fought to keep the hammering of her heart within her chest at bay. Her instincts were screaming at her to protect her Bond, her relationship with Orin. Tessa's words had a wrongness to them that caused Elora to suddenly become wary. Yet, even then, pity filled the Princess' soul. What happens to a child when they're told, since they were very young, that they had only one purpose? One goal in life? Was Tessa the result?
“Do you love him, Tessa?” Elora asked, her voice just as quiet as the young mercenary's.
Tessa's eyes widened and then became distant, “I'm not sure I know what that word means anymore. I loved my family, my friends, but even that has faded. All I have left is Orin. I know you love him, Elora. I've seen the way you look at him and the way he looks at you. I realise that my actions up to now won't really reassure you, but I'm not trying to come between you two. Since I was seven years old, all I've wanted is a companion. Someone who would be there for me when everyone else had fallen away. As soon as I touched Orin for the first time, I knew. I knew it had to be him. I think I do love him, Princess. But I don't know if it's in the same way that you do or something else. I just... I don't know.”
Frustration appeared on Tessa again. Her face turned red and tears formed at the edges of her eyes. “That's all the answers I have, Elora. I can't tell you what I don't know myself. I can tell you that I'll never betray him, never hurt him. I'd never hurt you either. You'd become a part of my life. Through Orin we'd be joined together, forever.”
Hesitation filled Tessa's expression as she jerkily leaned forward, her hand sliding across the table as she grabbed one of Elora's hands tightly in one of her own. The touch seemed to almost pain the young mercenary, whose eyes clenched shut. Elora could only watch, the idea of pulling away or moving not even occurring to her.
“I know that you're angry with me. I know that you probably hate me for doing what I did. But I'm willing to do anything you want to make up for it. I need both of you for this to work. You are the First Throne, Elora. You lead, I follow.”
“The First Throne?” Elora asked, her eyes fixed on the trembling hand in her own, “What's-”
The Bond screamed and Elora jumped to her feet, causing Tessa to tumble backwards as though burned by some kind of invisible fire.
The Princess immediately went down into her void space and saw the screaming golden thread that whipped wildly through the empty air. Feelings of pain and hate passed over the Bond, as well as anger, a deep rage that clawed at Elora's soul. Worry rose in her throat. Orin was in danger. The Bond wasn't pushing her to act, only giving her Orin's emotional state so he couldn't be in much of a bind. After their experience with Severance, the Bond had little to no influence over the pair, but it's alarms as to the other's state of being were just as poignant and intense.
“Orin's in trouble!” Elora snapped at the young woman and Tessa's tears cleared, as did her expression of dismay. She must have seen the Princess pulling her hand away as some kind of rejection. Whatever Tessa had been feeling had faded in the next instant as the possessiveness returned in full force. Tessa's eyes burned with a disturbing steel-coloured fire.
“Elora, should I get help?” Sister Erin was on her feet now, her words barely reaching the troubled Princess and mercenary as they made to leave. Erin's eyes were wide and panicked.
“No need, Sister. We'll find him soon,” Elora cried over her shoulder, surprised at the confidence that resonated in her voice. She felt strong and ready. Maybe part of it was not wanting to appear weak in front of Tessa, or perhaps the lack of a hold the Bond had on her current emotional state. But Elora believed the reason was that she simply couldn't allow herself to give into despair. Not like before, when she had begged Orin to give into Craven's demands and let her go. She had hated herself after thinking those things, saying those things. Orin had been fighting for his life and all she could do was tell him it was hopeless. Wherever her Knight was, he was in trouble and that was enough. She pulled her dagger free from her belt. It wasn't Rionna, but it was enough. She'd killed before and, to protect Orin, she would do so again without the barest hint of hesitation.
Tessa ripped the doors open and Elora darted out ahead of her, briefly checking to make sure the young woman was following her before they made for the doors of the orphanage. Elora looked inside of her, tracing the Bond towards Orin's location even as her anger rose inside her chest to match the rage that was pouring over the Bond. He had left the orphanage, he was somewhere near the market. Idiot! What had possessed him to go so far away!
“I know where he is, stay close.” Elora shouted behind her as she picked up speed.
“You lead,” Tessa stated, “I follow.