The next day Amanda resigned and told Morgan how she and the crew moved in different directions as to why she walked out. As days rolled past, Shawn felt the weight of her intention about everything; quitting, drugs, and their relationship. As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned to a month, she hadn’t called or mailed anyone. She simply disappeared. When Amanda was high, she’d always call about scoring more cash or sharing her high. Her silence generally kept him up at night, but he still felt miserable about how she ended things.

With Amanda gone, she created a void in Shawn’s life, a sense of right and wrong. He saw her free-spirited-try-anything lifestyle as wrong, whereas the meticulous-bridge-burning-jerk he was as right. Her try-anything lifestyle was what Shawn felt he needed to turn a corner. Shawn attempted to straighten his moral compass by bringing Julie as a focus in his life because she was the only person in the group he could trust. Things had begun to get a little complicated, so Julie committed Shawn to a walk-and-talk in MacArthur Park.

The complexity started once Shawn sobered up after his birthday. He and Julie often chatted, and slowly he broke her down to start a relationship behind Mark’s back. Knowing the risks involved, Shawn pushed her anyway, only thinking of himself.

Alone, Shawn stood on a bridge feeding the ducks with the edges of his turkey sandwich and took another bite, “You want more?” he asked. He threw half a sandwich, directly at the ducks. “Take that, mother-”

“Shawn?” Julie’s light and balanced steps caught Shawn off guard.

“Jules,” he said with a flushed red face. “It’s about time.”

“I see the ugly duckling is feeding his friends.”

“I know how to play my role as the odd man out.”

“No, that was Amanda,” Julie said, and a scowl grew on his face. “You’re the knight in shining armor.”

“I really screwed things up between her and I,” he pressed forward for a hug, but she stepped back.

“Maybe we can talk about it some other time, okay?”

“No,” he said. “I want to get off my chest.”

“Go on.”

“I know she didn’t want to leave, and I practically pushed her out the door,” he said.

“You were confused and drunk,” she said. “Besides, she has an odd way of expressing herself.”

“She’s a jigsaw piece in the wrong puzzle,” he explained. “One day, she’s pop art, and the next she’s the Sistine Chapel.”

“She is a complete mystery,” she said. “I wanted to see you two make it work. But let’s change topics.”

“Good idea.”

Shawn knew the conclusion of their conversation. He’d been through this a million times, and each time it was easier for him to detect the beginning of the end. A month ago, he knew he reached the point of no return when he and Jules began getting physical. She saw it as a one-time thing, besides she was with Mark. Shawn, on the other hand, saw her as his permanent replacement for Amanda. His new dream girl, the angel from heaven.

Stolen story; please report.

Julie’s the only person he knew that didn’t see him as a tool or that didn’t leach off him. With her, he was living in the clouds, Mr. Untouchable. But gravity catches up with everyone.

The two began shuffling off the bridge; he watched a pair of ducks fight over his sandwich and smiled as he tossed the rest in the pond. As the two walked off the bridge, Shawn took a glimpse of a drug deal between a pair of Latinos.

“I can never forget how many Latinos are here,” he said. “I mean, you turn a corner, and there are four or five of them; they’re like roaches.”

“I don’t feel comfortable talking about this,” her face blushed.

“I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about them.”

“What’s the difference?”

“You were adopted, and now you’re Americanized,” he explained. “They bring their gangster lifestyle on our soil. Mainly they are infecting this country, our country, and in my opinion, it means war.”

“You sound just like Mark,” she said in a saddened tone.

“I’m nothing like him,” Shawn firmly said.

“Sure you are,” she said. “Let me draw up a comparison.”

“Oh God,” he said. “The comparison between lover and boyfriend begins.”

“Mark is full of prejudice, where you say similar things, but I don’t know if you believe what you say.”

“Jules, I know what I believe in, and I know who I am,” Shawn said.

“Both of you are defensive,” she said.

“Do you think Mark believes the stuff he says?” Shawn asked.

“A year ago, Mark released two dozen rats into a crack house.”

“I’m sure those guys had that coming,” Shawn said.

“He didn’t do it because it was a crack house,” she said. “He did it because they were black.”

He looked in her eyes and saw the look he had seen on several occasions from Amanda. She was about to break up with him. He wanted to avoid the subject but knew the countdown had begun.

“I’ve meant to ask,” he said as the number five blinked above his head. “What do you see in Mark?” Shawn asked, as five turned to four. There was no stopping the inevitable.

“I ask myself that question every day, and I still have no answer,” Julie said, where he saw past her far shoulder, the number three appeared and disappeared.

“Well, you can pick me over him,” Shawn suggested as the number two appeared and disappeared on the ground.

“That’s the thing,” she said as a breeze blew by creating a one, which switched to a zero only Shawn could see. “We’re going to have to end this thing between us.”

Shawn cleared his voice. Why me? “Jules, I don’t want to fight you, but you knew this days ago, why wait to tell me now?”

“I didn’t come to this decision until an hour ago, but I ask you to respect my choice.”

“Do I have a choice?” he asked.

“You always have a choice,” she smiled. “But you know the right thing to do.”

“The real thing is making me happy. It’s forever been a choice,” Shawn said.

“Pity party?”

“I guess I’m the only one listening,” they smiled. “Since everything else I threw at you air-balled, I figured it was worth a shot.”

“Where are we now?” Julie asked.

“I’m in-bounding the ball, maybe I can draw up a play with you and me,” he said.

“Okay, lover boy. What’s on your mind?” she asked.

“I want to sweep you off your feet,” the two smiled. “Do you have any plans today?”

“Shawn, why so soon? Don’t we need a breakup day?”

“I’ve broken up with Amanda enough times to know the day after a breakup is worse.” Shawn continued, “Let’s do something now.”

“Sorry, but I’m booked.”

“You’re kidding?” he asked.

“Mark has me doing some surveillance gig,” she said. “You know Mark’s always last minute.”

“He always finds a way to keep us apart,” Shawn said.

“Yeah.” She looked at her watch. “Oh, sorry, I gotta run. Hang in there, Shawn.”

“Is this gig green-lit?” he asked.

“No idea,” she said.

“For breaking up with me on short notice,” Shawn said, “How about you owe me one?”

She smiled, “Ciao.”

Nothing unusual happened, just a breakup, with another great girl, all in one month. What now, is my dog back home going to die next week? I need to regroup. I need to go home.