Roach started out life as an orphan, he did not recall parents all he has known are the streets. An old woman pulling a cart had found a basket, in the basket a baby sleeps. The woman, not knowing what to do, brings it with her. Maybe someone would give her some coins for it.
“Whatcha got there May?”
“Something special, I think.” She had no clue, but maybe if she said that she may get more copper out of the deal. To be honest she does not care about this thing in the basket. She found it and she was gonna sell it.
“Let have a gander then.”
Removing the cover, she shows the man what’s inside. Blue eyes stare back at the man and old woman; it looks like a year-old baby. Neither of them knows it’s age.
“Where you get that?”
“I aint telling.”
“Alright well how about I take it off your hands?”
“How much?”
The man and woman start to haggle back and forth for a price. Eventually the woman settles on an amount and hands the basket over. She leaves muttering that she has been robbed, but it is just an act.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twelve years have passed since that night, Roach for that is what he calls himself has been on the streets his whole life. He may be twelve or thirteen he is not sure because he does not really know numbers. An existence of a person on the streets the only numbers they care about are what does it cost?
Life on the streets is not easy, sleeping out in the open on hard ground is horrible. The winters are worse, Roach recalls two winters ago his friend and other urchin going to sleep on the hard ground next to him. The following morning trying to wake his friend, but he felt very cold, felt breathless, but he was gone, the skin blue from the cold. This is not the first death that Roach has seen, this is the way of life for people on the street.
The beatings are almost a daily thing, either other older kids or adults on the street will beat you for no other reason than they are also down on their luck. They blame you for their misfortunes as well, Roach is careful where he sleeps as you may be intruding on another’s territory. Or you may not be intruding but they are bigger, and they want that spot you are on.
You beg and you steal it in daily life, Roach looks at other kids and sees himself reflected in them. Again, he is small for his age, and you don’t want to be small not in this situation. But Roach is far from stupid he may not talk much but he can see how things work.
He has been able to survive because he is not stupid. Roach moves from place to place not staying put very long, staying in the same place can be dangerous. He looks and observes everything, is that group big, are the older kids beating on the younger? Do they stay safe and now do they do it? Are there any adults involved in the group? If there are will, they beat you and if so, how much?
One of the groups he was part of had a lot of kids his age, he waits for a smaller group because it is safer if he approaches when there are not so many. He makes an offer to them; it does not matter what it is. And he makes friends with them or at least he pretends to make friends, it is safer in a bigger group, a group that you can blend in with.
There is always a hierarchy for things in these groups, you must find out what it is, survival depends on having this knowledge. This he has already figured out before approaching the group, again blending in makes you invisible. Stay away from adults, stay away from older kids that can really hurt you. And if you need to take a beating then make yourself small, cover yourself and protect the important parts.
Begging is an art, make yourself as pitiful as possible, do you have a clean face? Then you dirty it up, a clean beggar is not a real beggar. Are your clothes whole? Find a way to rip them but not enough that it won’t provide warmth in the winter.
You don’t beg everywhere, there are areas that are better than others, and areas where it will be impossible. Roach looks out for others, makes sure that where he is at there are no others or at least a group where they won’t make a scene because there is another beggar.
Roach knows who to ask and who not to ask, he observes and sees, takes note of who is around, who passes by, who will give you something, a coin, a piece of food, anything. Ladies are the best ones; they see a little kid and can’t help themselves. You also have the crusaders; they try and help but there is no real helping, they try to have ‘programs’ that is the word Roach has heard. If anything, they may provide a place to stay for a little while, but the money runs out and back to the streets.
Time passes and groups disband, the guards make a raid and take some of the older ones away, the little ones disperse or get swallowed up into another group. Roach does not let himself get swallowed up into another group, he is not stupid. The groups can be a death sentence, he has seen it, that is why you don’t make friends because you lose them. And you don’t love, you don’t care about another person, you never give your heart that opportunity. Loving or caring for someone can be death as well, it can be used against you, he has seen it done before.
You can’t trust others, but you let yourself fall into it, even without trying. Because you are not dead inside, you are human after all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roach knew better than to trust Raffin, he was not a good man, he should have listened to his instincts. But he did not and knew he was stuck with this despicable old man. Stupid, stupid, stupid but what was he going to do now?
Raffin had picked him out of a group of other urchins. He had offered something good to eat, and stupid Roach had been lured in. The man had done it multiple times and Roach, a regular fool, had fallen for it again and again. He had not really had any of that, someone that cared about him.
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“You listen to old Raffin. Raffin will take care of ye.”
Roach had not known what to think about this, Raffin had offered him food and he seemed to be a good man. At least that was the impression he had gotten at first. “Alright Raffin.” He recalled saying that.
He had been traveling with Raffin for a few days and everything had been going well, they made a good team he thought. Another week passed and Raffin had said he was going to run some errands, Roach had been begging and it had gone well. Raffin returned very late smelling of herbs and of alcohol not something that had happened before.
“Watcha being doing Roach? Miss Old Raffin?” The words were slurred and there was this look in his eyes, Roach had seen this before and it never led to anything good.
“Begging.” Roach was not one to mix words.
“You don’t say, well hander over.” Roach handed over what he had gotten that day.
“Ar ye holding out on Old Raffin?” This last was said in a harsh voice, “Well is ye?” Roach shook his head, before he could do it a second time the blow came. He blacked out momentarily coming too a few seconds later, on the ground his head ringing both from the slap and from hitting his head on the ground. He had hit it hard too, he saw stars and the world was not right, everything just spun.
“Roach me boy, you don’t want to be holding out on Raffin. Tha be a big no, no. Now get up before this gets worse.” Shaking and dizzy, Roach rose, only to be slapped again and ending once more on the ground.
“Slowly boy’o.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, Roach could barely open his left eye as it was bruised and sore, he touched it and flinched at the pain. How had it gone all wrong? He knew the answer of course, he had been stupid, all that time being careful, and he had let his guard down.
Raffin was still sleeping when Roach had woken but in the act of moving Raffin woke as well. He got up, looked over at Roach and his face was a mask of horror. “Roach, my poor thing, did Raffin do that to you?”
Roach was not sure what to think or if he should say yes. Raffin reached over to touch his face, and he flinched and backed away. “I’m so sorry, Raffin let the week and alcohol get to him. You know Raffin would ever do tha.” Raffin then started to beg for forgiveness so that it would never happen again.
And for a little time, they were fine with no incidents, all was going well. Maybe it had been a one time thing thought Roach, he hoped it would never happen again. Roach had no one else and he had found someone that he could count on, even though that incident still nagged at him in the back of his head, ‘it will happen again.’
It had been a few months, and all was going well, he was able to eat regularly with Raffin around and there had even been another boy that had joined them. The boy was even smaller than Roach and younger, so they started to beg together. They played the part of siblings that had lost their father and their mother could not feed them.
Weeks passed and all was well, at least on the outside it seemed to be well. Roach got up one night to find that Raffin and the other boy were gone. He stayed awake waiting for them to return hours passed and neither returned. He had fallen asleep when he heard someone coming, it was Raffin but where was the other boy?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Days passed with Raffin leaving but never returning with the other boy, Roach knew something was wrong that something terrible had happened to the other boy. Raffin had said nothing, Roach needed to know if the other boy was alright. He decided to ask, what could be the harm in asking?
Evening came and Roach was looking at Raffin and decided it was time to ask, “Raff where is –“ the look Raffin gave him stopped him in his tracks.
“Roach ar ye questioning Old Raffin? You is aintcha?” Something in the old man’s eyes switched, the change was instantaneous, there was madness in those eyes. How Roach had missed that before he was not sure. He backed away slowly and the man came forward, Roach could see he was prey at this moment and Raffin the predator. His back to a wall he did not even see the fist coming.
He felt the fist connect with his temple, felt himself going down, and at the same time the pain from being hit and hitting the ground finally made it to his brain. He saw stars again, ‘but he said he would not do it again, he promised.’ He hit the ground with such force that he felt it throughout his head. The ringing started, then a kick came and another and another.
Each blow worse than the last, and Raffin breathing hard as he delivered blow after blow, “Ye don’t be questining Old Raffin. Ye jus don’t.” The man finally stopped when a fit of coughing hit him. The young boy on the ground, his face bloody, Roach looked at the figure of the man that had promised, the man that had said he was his friend and cried before passing out from the pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roach remembered waking and then the pain, everything hurt, his face covered in dry blood, his eyes nearly shut from the swelling. He remembers each little move causing more pain, he stopped trying to move and allowed darkness to take him once more.
He recovered, it took time, but he recovered. Raffin had a hold of him, not physical but a mental hold and Roach too scared to leave, he had tried once and that had led to another beating and a week of recovery. His will to resist had been eroded away with each beating, now all Raffin had to do was give him a look and the boy would cower.
They had left the town they were in and had traveled the roads, supposedly they were going to another town. Roach had heard talks around town, they had found a body and now they were leaving, Roach could put two and two together.
It was not going well, and they had stopped for the day. Raffin was not happy that it was taking so long to get where they were going. He started to talk to himself, and started to blame Roach for his bad luck. Roach knew what would come next and he was tired of it, he needed to run, but to where?
The madness and anger came into Raffin’s eyes, and he was going to take it out on someone and that someone was Roach. He looked at his traveling companion with that madness and started to advance on the young boy. This would make him feel better, it was the boy’s fault anyways.
Roach was on the ground and the kicks were coming, and he tried to protect himself, but the kicks hurt, he tried to back away slowly as the kicks came to lessen their impact, but it still hurt and then another voice came. It was probably his imagination from the beating he was receiving, he could have sworn the voice had said, “Please stop that.”
He heard Raffin’s voice; telling the person to go away. Roach opened his eyes to see the other person, it was a young man, and he was extremely large, not tall, just very, very round. And Raffin turning back to continue the beating.
Then the young man again, “I said stop, I won't say it again.” Roach sees this all play out, the young man approaching, Raffin turning to confront the other, the young man’s fist coming up at Raffin before he fully turns around. Roach, seeing this knows exactly how he can help, rolls a little forward and causes Raffin to tumble backwards.
Hears the young man telling Raffin they are leaving and that he will get worse if he tries to stop them. A hand coming down and the words, “You're coming with me.” Roach sees himself reaching out, why did he do that? Who is this young man that he feels that he might be able to trust? Did he learn nothing from being with Raffin?
But he still goes, he has a choice and he chooses to go with this stranger. They stop after a while and turn to see if Raffin is coming after them, but he is not. They go into the woods of the side of the road and the young man presents himself, "Hi, I’m Gamel.” And extend his hand.